Fourteen
I couldn’t believe it was Thursday already. I had no idea where Wednesday went. I spent most of it wallowing in self-pity and watching the small amount of snow that had settled, melt. It was ironic that Marcus and Adelle were now blissfully happy, and I was the one down in the dumps.
They had even put up decorations inside and outside of both of their cottages. They had invited me to join in, but now I was the grinch who ignored the invitations.
Well, I didn’t ignore them. I simply said no and that I wasn’t feeling well.
Tuesday had been an awful day after that row with Alec. The less said about that the better. But he did fix my heating and had replaced the timer and of course, he’d already mended the tap. So everything in the cottage was running perfectly.
Apart from me.
He had left me a note saying that he was sorry if he’d done anything to upset me as that was the last thing he wanted to do. And he hoped that we would meet again when things might be different.
Jerk.
He had charged me for the timer, but he’d thrown in the tap for free. I paid his bill immediately, and didn’t respond to his prompt payment thank you email that arrived the same day.
I had popped into Adele’s after speaking to Madi, rather than Adele coming to me as agreed. I explained that I was juggling some personal issues and asked if we could bake cookies instead of making Christmas decorations.
She didn’t seem to pick up on my low mood but she was so joyful about her own new love life, who could blame her?
She told me how Marcus had arrived at her door, more than a little tipsy, and how he had apologised profusely, and told her she had been right about Cara and Jeff all along. She said they had talked all evening and for most of the night and then something had changed between them.
Marcus had taken her hands in his and said, ‘I should’ve married you, Adele, not Cara. I should’ve asked you out when I had intended to and not listened to Jeff. I should’ve trusted my owns feelings. So I’m trusting them now. I think, deep down, I’ve always loved you. I know I said and did some horrible things, but all I can say is I was a total idiot. Noelle has helped to open my eyes and see what’s in front of me. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and I’m definitely not worthy of your love, but I sincerely hope you’ll forgive me, and if you’ll give me a chance, I’ll spend the rest of my days showing you how much you mean to me. I love you, Adele. Is there any chance you’d consider going out with me?’
Adele said she couldn’t speak because she was so surprised. Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined Marcus might love her. But she eventually managed to nod and say yes.
And then, like the woman in love she really was, she had grabbed Marcus by his shirt collar and planted a kiss on his lips.
‘You should’ve seen his face, Noelle. One minute it was all contrition and heartfelt honesty. The next it was pure love and passion. He kissed me back and then he pulled me into his arms and we kissed, and kissed, and kissed. I think we might’ve kissed all night if I hadn’t told him to take me to bed and make love to me. He honestly looked like a child who had got every toy on his Christmas wish-list, and a special bonus toy on top.’
‘I’m so happy for you both,’ I said. ‘I was hoping we might all become friends by Christmas and that maybe at some stage, you two might develop that friendship into something more. This is beyond even my wildest dreams.’
‘And mine,’ she said. ‘And I believe we owe it all to you.’
‘You owe me nothing. All I did was move into Middle Cottage and hope I could persuade my neighbours to put up some Christmas decorations. You two did all the rest yourselves. All three cottages now look so festive, I’m the one who should be thanking you.’
Despite my own broken heart; and as ridiculous as that might be, it did feel as though Alec had broken my heart with those two little words – my wife; I had a lovely time with Adele. And I ate far too many cinnamon cookies. But I’m allowed. That’s what you do with heartbreak.
All I wanted to do on Wednesday was stay curled up in bed, and I’d have done the same on Thursday if I could. But I had to be at the market stall on Thursday. And that meant a new can of worms.
Paul had texted me and phoned me twice. I had replied by text saying I was unwell. Berry texted to see if I needed anything, but I said I didn’t, and thanked her.
I couldn’t leave this any longer though. I’d have to tell them I had changed my mind about dating Paul.
I dressed in my favourite black trousers, and wore a sparkly, glittery, Christmas jumper with a Christmas tree on it that lit up. I wore Christmas tree shaped earrings to match, and I put on some make up to help myself feel more human and less like death warmed up.
I arrived at the market stall at eight on the dot and Berry came over right away. Our stalls weren’t together today. Her stall was a few stalls away and there was a stall selling Christmas spiced punch, mulled wine and other festive drinks; one selling mince pies, Christmas puddings and Christmas cakes, and another selling handmade Christmas stockings.
Fortunately, several customers arrived at my stall before I’d finished displaying my stock and I told Berry we’d have to chat later. The morning flew and by lunchtime the market was packed. But I spotted a face I recognised in the crowd, and Marcus, having spotted me, came over to chat while there was a lull in my sales, as everyone made beelines for food and drink stalls.
‘I’m glad things worked out with you and Adele,’ I said.
He beamed at me. ‘Me too. I owe you more than I’ll ever be able to repay.’
‘No you don’t. I still owe you for those wines.’
‘Nope. I’m in your debt,’ he laughed. ‘Seriously, Noelle. I had thought this was going to be another awful Christmas. Now it’s going to be my best Christmas ever. And that’s all thanks to you.’
I saw someone approaching and panic set in.
‘I meant what I said. You owe me nothing. But … I know this is a huge thing to ask and I wouldn’t, except I’m desperate. Would you kiss me, Marcus? Please? Right now. No questions. I’ll explain later and I’ll tell Adele.’
His face was a picture of astonishment. ‘Oh. Erm. I don’t know. Cheating isn’t something I do.’
‘It’s not cheating. It’s just a kiss for a friend. A friend in dire need. And it’s an emergency. There’s no one else I can ask.’
‘Erm.’
‘P-lease! I’m begging you. Just put your arms around me and give me a kiss.’
He took a deep breath. ‘If this causes a problem with Adele, I’ll never forgive you.’
‘It won’t. I promise. She’ll understand when I explain. Two seconds left to help me.’
‘Fine.’
I flung my arms around him and he wrapped his around me and we kissed. But our lips hardly touched and neither of us made any effort. I peered over his shoulder and when I was sure it was safe, I whispered. ‘You can stop now.’
He stopped immediately and we stepped away from one another. Paul and Berry stood open mouthed just a few feet away.
‘Oh no,’ I said, linking my arm through Marcus’. ‘I’m so sorry you had to see that. I wanted to tell you both before you found out. The thing is. I’ve fallen for someone else. He’s been looking after me, and well, you know how it is. These things happen. Love moves in mysterious ways. I hope we can still be friends.’
I could see Marcus looked as astonished as Berry and Paul, who both turned on their heels and marched away.
Perhaps this had been a mistake after all. What on earth had possessed me to think this was a good idea? But it was the only thing I could think of that would ensure Paul didn’t ask me out. The prospect of explaining that I no longer fancied him had filled me with dread, but I hadn’t thought this through. I might lose Berry’s friendship over this. I’d probably lose Paul’s. Why had I been so crazy?
‘Explain, please,’ said Marcus in a low voice, still looking a little shell shocked.
‘Give me a minute and I’ll try,’ I whispered.
‘Love moves in mysterious ways, does it?’
I recognised the gravelly voice instantly and spun around to see Alec standing behind me.
‘What are you doing here?’ I asked, annoyed that he’d seen and heard all that.
‘I came for some Christmas treats. I see Marcus did the same.’ He gave Marcus a cold, hard stare as he did me.
‘It wasn’t what you think,’ said Marcus. ‘Noelle was desperate.’
‘Was she indeed?’ His raised brows said more than his sarcasm could.
‘We’re not in love,’ Marcus added. ‘We’re just friends. Say something, Noelle.’
‘Why do we need to explain to him? He’s hardly in a position to cast stones.’
‘What?’ Marcus looked even more confused.
‘I never thought I’d see the day when you would cheat on a woman, Marcus,’ said Alec.
‘I wasn’t!’
‘Kissing another woman is cheating,’ Alec said.
‘I wasn’t kissing her. Not really! Please, Noelle explain this to him and to me.’
‘I was trying to stop a man from asking me out, and all I could think of on the spur of the moment, and because Marcus happened to be here at just the right time, was that if the man saw me kissing someone else, he wouldn’t want me as his girlfriend.’
‘I agree with that,’ Alec said, looking me up and down as if even the dog wouldn’t drag me in. ‘I may be out of practice regarding dating but surely you could’ve simply told this other man that you didn’t want to date him?’
‘I suppose I could’ve. But it isn’t that simple. You don’t know the man, or the situation.’
He raised his brows once again. ‘I know that most people just say, ‘no thanks’, if they don’t want to go out with someone. And I also know that if two people kiss, it usually means it’s because they want to.’
‘Marcus didn’t want to kiss me. I made him. He wasn’t cheating. It was all me, okay? I told him I needed him to kiss me, and like the friend that he is, he helped me when I needed him to do so. If I’d seen you, I might’ve asked you to kiss me instead.’
‘Damn. If only I’d known, I wouldn’t have spent so long buying that quilt for my mum. I’d have hurried over here to kiss you.’
‘Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.’
‘And cheating is the lowest form of relationship.’
I gasped at that. ‘People in glass houses and all that.’
‘What’s going on here?’ Marcus asked.
‘This so-called friend of yours would’ve had sex with me if I’d dropped my towel in my bedroom the other day and he has the nerve to tell us that you and I are in the wrong. Unlike you, Alec, neither of us has a wife.’
Alec and Marcus exchanged confused glances.
‘None of us are married,’ Marcus said.
‘He is.’ I pointed at Alec and he looked around, as did Marcus.
‘Are you pointing at me?’ Alec asked.
‘Yes. Of course I am.’
‘Why?’ asked Marcus. ‘Alec doesn’t have a wife. At least. Not now.’
‘Oh. Erm. Wait. Don’t tell me. She left because of his cheating. You told me yourself you had a wife.’
‘Yes. I did. Several years ago. But she didn’t leave me because I cheated. I have never cheated on anyone in my life. My wife died almost six years ago now.’
‘Daddy! Daddy! Look what Granddad bought me.’
The most beautiful little girl who resembled Alec in so many ways, grabbed his hand and waggled it.
‘Show me, sweetheart,’ he said, in a soft and loving voice as he dragged his eyes from my now bright red face and smiled adoringly down at her.
And then he swept her up in his strong arms as she held out a little reindeer Christmas ornament. One of my reindeer Christmas ornaments. One I’d sold to this little girl and her granddad just half an hour or so earlier. We’d chatted about how much she loved reindeer, and that her daddy was joining them at the market later, and that next year he was taking her to see real reindeer in Norway and they would stay in a hotel made of ice, and would visit Santa and his elves, and take a sleigh ride with huskies, and see some pretty lights in the night sky.
And suddenly all the Christmas bells on the planet clanged loudly in my head.
This was the person he had spoken to that day in my kitchen. She was the reason he couldn’t start a relationship right now. He was no doubt spending all his free time in December concentrating on making her Christmas special and planning their trip for next year.
And I was the biggest idiot this side of Mars.
‘This nice lady sold it to me,’ the little girl said.
‘Did she? That’s lovely.’ He didn’t look at me. ‘Let’s go and get some hot chocolate?’ He smiled over her to her granddad who smiled and nodded at me.
‘That sounds good, doesn’t it? If you want to stay and chat to your friends, Alec, I can take Melody, and you can meet us there.’
‘No. It’s okay, thanks. I’m done here. Bye, Marcus. Bye, Noelle. Merry Christmas to you both. And to Adele.’
Merry Christmas,’ Alec’s daughter said to me.
And then Alec turned and walked out of my life, carrying his beautiful little girl whom he clearly adored.
‘Kill me now,’ I said.
‘You thought he was married?’ Marcus queried. ‘I told you his wife was dead.’
‘When?’
‘On Monday when we had that drink together and I said I had a friend who was perfect for you.’
‘Alec was that friend?’
‘Of course. You said you didn’t want to go on a blind date, but when you told me about your boiler, I thought it was the perfect way for the two of you to meet. And then if you both saw what I saw, you’d fall for one another in a more natural and casual way.’
‘Why did I do that? I’m such an idiot!’ I said. ‘He hates me.’
‘I think that’s a bit strong, but he does seem to be a little disappointed in you. And in me. If Adele reacts in the same way, you will be dead, because I’ll kill you myself.’