3. Laney
3
LANEY
L aney stood at the window of her aunt’s bookshop watching the snow fall as Christmas music played overhead. Sparkly lights framed the glass, and best-selling books beckoned to customers as they passed by. Near the front, a table displayed a mix of staff picks, signed editions, and holiday recommendations, carefully curated to suit a variety of tastes. The bookshelves along the walls were packed with everything from literary classics to hidden gems, each section labeled in Aunt Edna’s neat handwriting.
Laney turned from the window to look at the back of the shop where Edna stood behind the central desk, expertly wrapping a book for a customer. Her aunt was beyond cool, with her spiky silver hair and stylish glasses. This time of year, she mostly dressed in sweaters and leggings, with tall riding boots showing off her slender legs.
Laney breathed in the scent of the cinnamon pinecone decorations and said a silent prayer of thanks. She’d gotten here the day before. This morning she’d asked Aunt Edna to put her to work.
The night of the wedding that didn’t happen, Aunt Edna had suggested she come stay with her in Sugarville Grove through the end of the year. A change of pace and scenery would do her good, Aunt Edna had said. Laney, sobbing in her aunt’s arms, had agreed.
She’d been surprised her mother had encouraged her to go with Aunt Edna to Sugarville Grove. Her mother had grown up here and had returned only a few times since she’d left decades before to go to college on a scholarship. She and her sister, Edna, had been raised by their single father in a run-down shack outside of town. Although her mother didn’t often mention her childhood, Laney knew enough to know that it had been rough for her and for Edna. When she’d escaped, as Mom put it, she’d never looked back.
Aunt Edna, on the other hand, had come back after her graduation from college, and did exactly what she’d always planned to do. Opened a bookstore.
The shop had been busier earlier, filled with little children and their mothers and fathers for the weekly children’s hour. Aunt Edna had asked Laney to take over the story time for her today so she could go in for a check-up at the local clinic. Laney had been thrilled. She loved kids and she loved children’s books, so she was pretty much in heaven. And she’d been right. She’d had such fun with the kids that she’d completely forgotten about her own troubles or why she happened to be in Sugarville Grove instead of Paris while she read to them from the fabulous The Polar Express . Not only was the story full of heartfelt messages, the illustrations were absolutely stunning. Even at thirty years old Laney loved studying them.
She dabbled in art herself. Or, at least, she used to before she’d gotten so busy with her work. Maybe she’d buy some paper and a nice pencil or two while she was here. Besides helping Aunt Edna at Clever Fox Books, she didn’t have much else to do.
Now, with the children all bundled up and taken home by a loved one, the store had quieted. This time of day there would only be one or two customers, especially with the snow that had started up again. She suspected even Vermont residents didn’t want to be out on the roads if they didn’t have to be.
To Laney, Aunt Edna’s shop was one of the most special places on all the earth. The summer she had spent in Sugarville Grove when she was fourteen had been the best of her life. Her mother and Edna were sisters but nothing alike and not exactly estranged, but Laney had detected a cautious politeness between them, as if they were worried to upset the other. Regardless, Edna had asked if her fourteen-year-old niece could come out for the summer to help in the shop while her best clerk was on maternity leave. Laney hadn’t thought her mother and father would agree to let her go, but they sent her off without hesitation. Later, Laney came to understand that it had been a particularly rough patch in her parents’ marriage. The invitation had been a godsend for them all.
What a summer that had been. Not only was she in her happy place, among books and people who loved to read, but she’d had a sweet summer romance with Nolan Hayes. She could still see his face, with his freckled nose, big smile and hazel eyes, waving goodbye to her as Aunt Edna had taken her to the train station. Such longing had existed between them. Innocent and pure. Nothing more than a few chaste kisses. But how those kisses had fed her soul. For years, actually. They’d spent so much time together that summer, reading and swimming at the Little Bear Lake with none of the burdens that weighed down adults. He’d been her first love. She’d never forgotten him.
Aunt Edna and Nolan’s mother had been close friends and still were. However, Laney had not yet asked after him, feeling too self-conscious to share with her aunt that she often thought of him, even all these years later. She felt kind of silly, thinking about Nolan Hayes. He might not even remember her. They’d promised to write but after a few letters, they’d both gotten busy with high school, and correspondence dwindled. A few years back Edna had told her that Nolan was now an English professor at the university. She wasn’t surprised by that at all. She had been surprised to learn that he was not married. But he probably had a girlfriend. The Hayes brothers were considered quite a catch back in the day. She assumed they still were.
An hour before closing, her aunt had left her alone so that she could make a deposit at the bank before it closed, leaving Laney to unpack a shipment of paperbacks from a publisher. She spent thirty minutes arranging them on the staff recommends table and onto their appropriate shelves. It was ten minutes to closing time when the bell over the door chimed. She straightened and turned toward the entrance.
Her heart just about stopped.
She would have recognized him anywhere—fewer freckles and his face had narrowed, but his eyes were the same. He’d also grown considerably larger than when they were fourteen. His shoulders barely fit through the door. It was exaggeration, but not by much. Despite his professional-looking blue peacoat, he looked more lumberjack than professor.
She froze, her hands clutching the straps of the green apron Aunt Edna had them all wear but could not look away. Apparently, neither could he. The man stood stock still in front of the door, staring at her.
“It’s you.” He blinked, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing.
“It’s you.” Okay, so he remembered her. “Hi, Nolan.”
“Laney Gray, what in the world are you doing here?” He stepped closer, his eyes bright as he tugged off his knit cap to reveal that gorgeous head of dark hair that flopped attractively over his forehead. “You’re real, right? Not just a Christmas fantasy?”
She laughed as she moved closer to him, still clutching the straps of her apron. “I’m here for a month. Helping Aunt Edna.”
“Oh. Well, great.” He grinned, his gaze remaining on her face as if she were the most delightful thing he’d ever seen. “It’s good to see you. You’ve changed a little since I last saw you.”
“Sixteen years can do that to a person,” Laney said. “You’re a lot bigger. And what happened to your freckles?”
“Sixteen years does that to a person. Gosh, it’s great to see you.” He held out his arms, and they embraced stiffly. When he let her go, he peered at her, shaking his head. “Actually, you look remarkably the same. Only more beautiful.”
She flushed, warm suddenly despite the cold that had followed him through the front door. “I knew you the moment you walked in.”
“When did you get here?” Nolan asked.
“Yesterday.”
“My mother didn’t mention it.”
“She might not know. It was a last-minute decision.”
“Is this a permanent thing or just temporary?” Nolan asked.
“I’m not sure. I’m in a transitional phase of my life, and Aunt Edna has graciously taken me in.”
His eyes glittered with curiosity, but he was too polite to ask for details. That hadn’t changed either. He’d been steadfastly well-mannered even at fourteen. She’d found it so refreshing after the rude boys she’d gone to school within New York.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m in shock.” Nolan smiled in that tender way he had. “You’re the last person I expected to see today.”
“It’s the last place I expected to be at this particular phase in my life.”
“I’d love to catch up. Do you have dinner plans? We could grab a bite over at the Moose. Or there’s a new pizza place in town that’s really good.”
“I haven’t been to the Moose since I was here that summer.”
“It’s the same,” Nolan said. “Give or take.”
“I’m closing in a few minutes, so yes, I’d love to. I’ll just text my aunt that I won’t be up until later.”
“I’m going to grab the book I wanted,” Nolan said. “Then I can hang out until you’re ready to go.”
“It won’t take long.”
He headed toward the mystery section and returned a minute later, handing her the book. Laney hustled behind the counter, her hands shaking as she rang up Nolan’s purchase. “I would have thought you for a literary guy,” Laney said. “Is this a gift? Because I can wrap it for you.”
“No, he’s one of my favorite authors. Don’t tell my students.”
“Your secret’s safe with me,” Laney said.
It took her a few minutes to close up the register and turn off the lights, but finally she was ready. She grabbed her coat, hat, and gloves from the back office, and soon she and Nolan were outside in the cold, dark evening. The entire town square was lit up with twinkling lights. Garland was strung around the lampposts, and every shop window had some kind of decoration to tempt shoppers inside.
“This place is like something out of a movie,” Laney said. “I’ve never been here at Christmastime.”
“It’s a special time of the year.”
The sidewalk was slippery, and she was afraid to fall despite her boots. “It’s slick tonight.”
“Here, take my arm,” Nolan said. “I won’t let you fall.”
She tucked her gloved hand into the crook of his arm. Soon, they arrived at the front entrance to the Moose. The same wooden sculpture of a life-size moose remained. Today, he wore a scarf around his neck, and lights were twisted around his antlers. “I missed this place.”
“I can’t speak for everyone, but I think this place missed you.” He winked before opening the door for her. “After you.”
She smiled at the familiar sight. He was right. It hadn’t changed much. Same dark walls and floors. More televisions over the bar perhaps but other than that, she couldn’t see much difference from the last time she’d been here, except that it was decorated for the holidays with garlands, bows, and lights.
A hostess took them to a booth in the far corner and gave them menus before heading off to serve another set of customers.
Laney quickly perused the menu and decided on the chicken potpie. No more vegetable cleanses for her.
A server came by, and they ordered a couple of beers and their meals. He’d chosen the vegetarian shepherd’s pie. Was he a vegetarian? She didn’t know this man who sat across from her, only the boy he’d once been.
“Where do we start?” Nolan asked after the server walked away.
“Aunt Edna says you teach literature at the university?”
“That’s right. My doctorate is in nineteenth-century American literature. I did my thesis on the environmental philosophy of the words of Emerson, Thoreau, and Whitman.”
“Oh my. That sounds difficult.”
He shrugged modestly. “Not really. It interested me and still does. I’m still learning myself. The kids these days are so smart.”
“I can imagine.”
“What about you? What work do you do?”
“I’m in marketing. Not nearly as noble as your profession.”
He lifted one eyebrow. “What aspect of marketing?”
Laney described her work with clients, guiding them through branding and strategic planning. “Basically, I assist small businesses creating a marketing plan and then help to execute it. I’m freelance, so I work with various clients at the same time. Or, I should say, that’s what I was doing. Like I said, I’m kind of in the middle of a big change. I just don’t know what it is I’m changing into.”
“What happened? I mean, if you feel comfortable sharing.”
“Yeah, sure.” Under the table, she touched upon the spot on her left-hand ring finger where her giant engagement ring had so recently sat. “It’s kind of a long, sad story.”
“I’ve got time.”
Their beers arrived then, giving Laney a moment to organize her thoughts. She took a sip first before answering his question. “I was supposed to get married the day after Thanksgiving, but I called off the wedding. At the last minute. The very last minute. I’m supposed to be sipping red wine in Paris right now.”
“Did you get cold feet?”
“No. Cold is not the way I’d describe what I was feeling that day.” She took another sip of beer, gathering courage to tell him what had happened. “I was in my wedding dress, moments away from the ceremony. My dad was all set to walk me down the aisle. Most of the guests had arrived. And then I saw some texts. Between Josh and my best friend, confessing their undying love for each other. I didn’t know, obviously.”
“Laney, that’s awful. It’s like a bad dream.”
“Only it was real. Looking back, I should have seen the signs.”
“It’s not in your nature to be suspicious.”
How had he remembered that? Was it possible he’d thought of her as often as she’d thought of him? “That’s right. Obviously. Because once I knew, I started remembering little details, and it all came together.”
“So, you called it off, right then and there?” Nolan asked.
“Pretty much. My dad paid for a wedding that never happened. Another thing to add to my list of guilt and shame.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. Have you talked to either of them?”
“I confronted Josh before the ceremony. I haven’t yet talked to Dahlia. I doubt I will.” She chuckled, a bitter, sour sound at the back of her throat. “He had the gall to ask if he could take her on the honeymoon. Since he’d paid for it already, well, his parents had paid for it. A wedding gift. Now they’re enjoying my dream destination together.”
“Unbelievable. I’m enraged on your behalf.”
“Aunt Edna was there for the wedding, and she suggested I come here until I decide what I want to do. I gave up all my clients before the wedding. I was moving to Boston to live with him. I’ve been in New York City since I graduated from college. He didn’t think I should keep my business after we married.”
“Why not?”
Laney closed her eyes, remembering the discussion. Or, rather, the argument. “He’s wealthy. Family money. The women in his family spend their time doing charity work and planning parties. That’s what I was supposed to do too. Plus, have babies.”
“Is that what you wanted?”
“I thought so. It seemed right. All of it. Including him. But now, I’m not so sure it was what I wanted at all. Maybe I just thought I was supposed to want him and everything that came with him.”
“How did you meet him?”
“We run in the same social circles. Our parents are friends. Country club and all that.”
“Which makes it even worse?”
“That’s right. I just needed to get away from the whole scene. Everyone in that world was at the wedding. It’s completely humiliating. My poor dad had to tell the guests the wedding was off.”
“Coming here was a good idea. No one knows you here. You can start fresh. Well, almost nobody knows you. I know you.” Nolan smiled, cocking his head to the left. “Although I didn’t expect to see you again.”
“I’ve thought about you over the years. I even asked Aunt Edna about you occasionally.” Laney could feel the blush moving up her neck and into her cheeks. But she’d gone this far, admitting to the sweet crush she’d never totally forgotten. “I have fond memories of that summer we spent together.”
“One of the sweetest summers of my life. Maybe the sweetest.”
She couldn’t look away from his soulful eyes. “We were such innocents.”
“Yeah. Which made it all the sweeter.”
“What about you?” Laney asked. “Do you have a girlfriend?”
His expression darkened. “Strangely enough. I have a broken engagement in my past too. Three years ago, now. Although she broke it off before the actual wedding, so it wasn’t quite as bad. But I ran into her a few days ago. She’s married and having a baby. Like your situation, she’d fallen in love with someone else. Not my best friend. That would be impossible, since he’s dead.”
“Are you talking about Dylan?” Laney asked, concerned. She remembered Dylan quite well. He’d been funny and kind.
“Yeah. You remember him?”
“Of course I do. He was with us a bunch that summer.”
Nolan’s voice grew husky. “Dylan was shot as we came out of a bar one night. We’d been out celebrating my graduation—five years ago yesterday. He’d come all the way to Boston to help me celebrate. We went out for dinner and then drinks.” He dipped his chin, studying his beer. “A car came roaring toward us and before I knew it, a rifle appeared out of an open car window and started spraying bullets. Dylan shoved me down and covered me with his body, saving my life.”
“That’s horrific.”
“He was the best person I ever knew. Everyone loved him.”
“I’m really sorry.”
He shrugged. “It’s been hard to go on without him, knowing what potential he had to spread good in the world. I miss him every day. I try to honor his memory by living fully and treating people the way he always did. God, that sounds so trite.”
“Not at all.” She gazed at him for a moment, reflecting on the years that had come and gone since she last saw him. So much had changed for both of them, yet there was a feeling of familiarity that made it seem as if no time had passed. Was it true that friends from youth always brought you back to the past? “I don’t think I’ve ever had a friend I could say such things about. Dahlia was not that kind of friend.”
“Clearly not.”
“I can’t decide which was worse,” Laney said. “The betrayal of her or him.”
“I’d feel that way too.”
“Like I said, Dahlia wasn’t the best person I knew. I don’t think anyone else would say that, either,” Laney said, chuckling under her breath. “We had a complicated friendship. One based mostly in competition.”
“Ah, yeah. She wanted what you had.”
“Basically.” She sipped from her drink. “Or she and Josh could be soulmates, and it was all supposed to happen this way.”
He nodded, wrapping a large hand around his beer glass. “Maybe time will tell that tale, huh?”
“Yeah. In the meantime, I have to figure out how to rebuild my life.”
“Sugarville Grove is a great place to start.”
“Do you live in town here or near your work?” She found herself curious about his life, his daily routine and habits. She wanted to ask him about everything all at once but held herself back. Josh had told her one time after dinner with friends that she could be intrusive with her questions. She’d been offended and embarrassed and vowed to temper herself from then on. It was only that she was so interested in other people, not that she was nosy. Well, maybe those were the same things?
“Do you remember that house we used to ride past on our bikes on the way to the lake? The one you’d always make me stop at so you could stare at it for a bit?”
“Oh my gosh, yes. The green one with the white trim. I loved that house. At least from the outside.” She could recall the lazy summer afternoons with Nolan, drifting past the house on their bicycles while chatting about who-knew-what. They’d never run out of things to discuss.
“I bought it. The previous owners were elderly, and nothing had been updated for probably thirty years. I had it gutted and remodeled.”
“I’d love to see it sometime.” My God, had she just invited herself over?
“I’d love to have you over. Anytime.”
Their food came then, and they continued to chat as they ate the savory meals. Laney learned more about his work at the university and his love of teaching. He filled her in on his brothers. Max ran the country store. Logan was a family law attorney in town. Luke ran the farm after his father retired and had recently married and had three children.
“Wait. Three? How’s that possible?”
Nolan explained that his wife, Abby, had become the guardian of her cousin’s children after the cousin’s sudden passing. Luke had a little girl named Lily from his first marriage.
“I’m telling you, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room during their wedding,” Nolan said. “We’re all rooting for them. And those kids.”
“What a beautiful story.” Laney’s eyes filled, thinking of how life could be so cruel and good all at the same time. Maybe not always at once, but one thing she knew and kept reminding herself of—bad times didn’t last forever. She just had to get through these next few months—to heal and decide what to do with her life next.
“You’re staying all month?” Nolan asked.
“At least through the new year. Maybe longer. Aunt Edna said I can stay as long as I want, but I worry about imposing. She does need the help at the bookstore, so that makes me feel better.” She blew on a forkful of potpie. “Actually, she wants to retire and has been hinting around that I should buy her out.”
“Do you have that kind of money?”
Laney warmed yet again, embarrassed to admit how privileged she truly was. “I have a good savings, and my father would probably help me out with the down payment if I asked him.”
“Could you see yourself living here? Running the bookshop?”
Laney thought for a moment. “I never imagined this would be my next season, but yes, maybe. Sinking all my money into one venture feels risky. What if I can’t make it work, and then what do I do?”
“The Fox is very popular here. Your aunt has a loyal clientele.”
“What if they would be opposed to someone new? I remember how it is here.”
“Yes, but you’re her niece. They’ll give you a pass because of that. In fact, they might celebrate it. We’re into family legacies here.”
Laney smiled before poking her fork back into the pie. “It would be a different kind of life than I had in the city, that’s for sure.”
“You have all month to think about it. And look, you already have a friend.”
“You?”
He laughed. That throaty laugh of his had always made her stomach flutter. It still did, apparently. “Of course, me. Not that you won’t find a lot of others here. But you have me and my family, by extension.”
“That’s very kind of you.”
“What are you doing tomorrow evening?”
“Nothing, other than hanging out with Aunt Edna. She’s very fond of Masterpiece Theatre in the evenings, which I love, but could miss a night if you had something in mind?”
“Well, there’s no shortage of events here in town over the holidays, but I was thinking you could come over for dinner at my house tomorrow? I’d love to show you what I’ve done with it. I could make some pasta. Open some red wine?”
Was he asking her out? No, don’t be silly. This was just an old childhood friend offering kindness to a woman with a broken heart.
“I’ll bring the wine,” Laney said.
“Then it’s a date.”
She must have flinched because he quickly added, “Two old friends getting together to reminisce. What could it hurt?”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
She really hoped she didn’t regret it.