9. Lucy
9
lucy
“I don’t think Landon is overly fond of me,” Sailor told me the next morning when we met to catch up again. I couldn’t get enough of her presence. Now that she was next to me again, I could feel physically how much I had missed her. A part of me wished she could stay here, in Port-Cartier, forever, but the rest of me knew this time would come to an end, so I wanted to make the most of it.
“Oh, come on. It couldn’t have been that bad…” I rubbed her shoulder, trying to comfort her. It was hard to imagine anyone not liking my best friend. She was a ray of sunshine wherever she went, and she could draw people in so easily. I highly doubted that Landon was immune to her charm. Maybe she misread the situation.
“It was that bad,” she continued as we strolled by the shore. Despite the winter chill that had wrapped around the town, I wanted her to see everything it offered. Thankfully, this time, she was staying a few days. The waves lulled softly around the sandy beach, reflecting the soft shades of orange and purple. “I’m telling you. I got off the plane and saw this cute guy holding a sign with my name. And I was thinking— well, this is a great start to this trip. I introduced myself and started asking questions. I did everything you’re meant to do when you arrive somewhere new, but he kept all communication to a minimum. I couldn’t help but feel like I was annoying him…”
It was hard to believe that their first encounter went like that, but then again, Landon was the most introverted of all the brothers. So maybe there was some truth to what she was saying—I couldn’t tell.
“And I’m going to keep seeing him, because—” She paused and then shook her head. “I intend to visit you more, and he is your boyfriend’s brother. I seriously miss you more than any words can describe, girl. Seattle isn’t the same without you there.”
Her words struck me right at my heart. My eyes welled up, and I could barely contain the tears that formed there. Suddenly, I was overcome by this massive sadness that I couldn’t control, knowing that things would never be the same. Luke was the best thing to ever happen to me, but Sailor was the close second. She had been there when I had no one—my best friend, biggest cheerleader, and platonic soulmate.
“Oh, don’t cry! You’re going to make me cry!” she mumbled, pulling me into a tight hug. I didn’t release her for a good minute, and I likely wouldn’t have if it weren’t for the sickness that continued to rise in my stomach.
“God. I feel sick again…” I murmured, shaking my head. “Speaking of the devil, I actually think I’m going to have to see Landon to get some blood work done, because this doesn’t seem normal anymore. I’ve been sick for days. It comes and goes, and nothing seems to help…” I pulled back, only to face Sailor, who was staring at me with wide eyes.
“What?”
“Okay, don’t kill me, but…have you considered that pregnancy may be an option here?”
My heart dropped to my stomach. No, I hadn’t considered that as an option. And I don’t even know why. Luke and I had talked about kids, and we both agreed that we wanted to have two someday in the future, but I always assumed it would be down the line when we were more settled in. But, to be fair, we didn’t use condoms, and only relied on tracking my ovulation as a method of protection.
If it isn’t the consequences of your actions, a voice in my head rang as I remained speechless.
“Judging by your face, I’m guessing that’s possible…” Sailor drew in a sharp breath. “All right, we’re not going to panic prematurely. We’re going to get you a pregnancy test, and you are going to take the moment you get home. I’ll be there with you, don’t worry.”
I hooked my arm around hers, drawing her closer, as if to wrap us with some secrecy. “I can’t just go in and buy a pregnancy test. Everyone knows everyone here, and people are going to talk. Luke may find out I’m pregnant— if I am —before I even have the chance to tell him. That’s the extent of how quickly the gossip spreads around here.”
Sailor nodded, staring at me with the look of a woman on a mission. “I got you. I will take one for the team. I’ll go to the store, and I’ll buy a pack of pregnancy tests, so you’re set for life.”
I waited for Sailor in the car while she purchased the pregnancy tests at our local store. It took her a good ten minutes before she emerged from the store, triumphantly holding up the bag that concealed the pregnancy tests inside. Her smile stretched from ear to ear, but I was on edge, barely able to think without feeling like I might throw up.
The weight of the moment was overwhelming. I knew if the test turned out positive, it would all work out. I had no doubt that Luke would be an incredible father, but the reality of it all hit me hard. We had only recently moved in together and had been back for just a few months. The idea of this happening so soon was unexpected, and I wasn’t sure how to process it all.
“I’ve secured the goods,” my best friend told me as she hopped in the car. “No one will be able to track these pregnancy tests to you, so your secret is safe. There’s no need to worry.”
I smiled softly, feeling a flicker of relief. Starting the car, I was eager to get home and finally take the test. I was thankful Luke was at work because one look would be enough for him to know something was wrong. And I didn’t want him to worry in case this was nothing—in case I wasn’t pregnant.
“Sailor…what am I going to do if I’m pregnant? I’ve only just moved to Port-Cartier…” I said, my voice laced with worry. I kept my eyes focused on the road as I drove, feeling a knot tighten in my stomach.
“What do you mean, what are you going to do? Luce, you’re going to be the best mom ever. And Luke will be a great dad, too. You two are a match made in heaven. That baby is going to have the best parents ever. Yes, maybe it’s happening a little sooner than you expected, but I believe in divine timing. What’s meant to happen, will happen, and you’ve just got to roll with it,” Sailor said, her words spilling out rapidly as if she wanted to chase away any lingering doubts. “Besides, you have his family and yours here. You have a whole support system ready for you. You won’t be alone in this.”
I glanced over at Sailor, feeling the tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “Yeah, but I don’t have my best friend here. That’s what I’m missing.”
Sailor smiled as she reached out to rub my arm. “We’ll figure it out,” she said gently. “We can organize things better and find a way to see each other more often. I miss you so much, too; sometimes, it feels like I might go crazy from it.”
Before we could continue with our conversation, we pulled up in front of the house. Both of us rushed inside as if our lives depended on it. I could hardly breathe by the time I reached the bathroom, fumbling with the packaging. Sailor stood beside me, watching me.
“Do you think you can pee on your own, or should I stay for moral support?” she asked seriously.
“I think I’ll manage to pee on my own, but we’ll wait for the results together, okay?”
She exited the bathroom, giving me some much-needed privacy as she gently shut the door behind her. I took a deep breath, grateful for the plastic cups she’d brought along—they made handling the test a little less daunting.
I was so nervous that it took a minute before I was ready to see Sailor again. I opened the door, my knees weak, and stared at my best friend. It was hard to believe that one simple test would determine the course of the rest of my life.
She grabbed my hands, holding them tightly, as if she wanted to draw off some of the anxiety that I felt. It wasn’t just anxiety, I realized. It was also…excitement. Maybe having a baby right now wouldn’t be such a bad idea. It would undoubtedly be a major change, but there was no one I felt safer with than Luke. We could handle this together. The thought of him holding a tiny baby we created together filled my chest with so much warmth that I couldn’t think about anything else.
“Just so you know,” Sailor started, breaking the silence, “if you’re pregnant, I’m totally claiming godmother rights.”
A burst of laughter escaped me, so loud it quickly turned into a snort, and soon, neither of us could stop laughing. It was one of those moments of pure joy where words seemed to escape me entirely. Sailor was here, and I was with Luke again. What more could I ask for?
The five minutes we had to wait flew by, and we retreated back to the bathroom to check the white test. By then, my hands were shaking so much that I had to turn to Sailor for support.
“You check it first,” I urged her. “I don’t think I can.”
Sailor didn’t need any more encouragement. She stepped forward, lifted the test from the cup, and glanced at me before her eyes fell on the result. Sailor’s poker face was nonexistent, and her reaction showed right then. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open, and she started bouncing up and down with unrestrained joy.
“You’re pregnant!” she screeched, leaping towards me. Overwhelmed by the news and a whirlwind of emotions, I couldn’t help but jump with her. My mind was spinning, and I was barely able to keep up. For a moment, a wave of nausea threatened to pull me under, but my emotions swept it away. Tears filled our eyes as Sailor wrapped me in a tight embrace, holding on as if to anchor us both in this moment.
I wasn’t sure how long we had been bouncing around like two giddy schoolgirls, but once our laughter subsided, I knew exactly how I wanted to break the news to Luke. Turning to Sailor with a small, excited smile, I shared my plan. “I think I’m going to tell him at the Christmas Eve dinner, with everyone gathered around.”