Chapter Twenty-Three Charlotte
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHARLOTTE
M orning.”
A deep, raspy voice woke me, and butterflies assaulted my stomach as I cracked an eye open to find Hayden sitting on the edge of my bed. He wore a hoodie and jeans, his usual style, and a huge smile.
“Hi.” I covered the bottom half of my face with the sheet because hello, morning breath . Have you ever smelled yours right when you wake up? Horrible.
Hayden looked adorable and happy, and he held a cup of coffee in his hands.
“Is that for me?”
“Yes.” He tugged the sheet down and leaned forward, kissing my mouth with a smirk. “I kept you up pretty late.”
“No need to brag,” I teased.
He chuckled and ran a hand over my hair. “I’ve always wondered if you’d have crazy bedhead. You do, and I love it.”
“Stop with the compliments.” I brushed his hand away and pushed up, keeping the sheet around my chest. There was no awkwardness with him, and I had thought there would be. This was almost easy. I didn’t want to jinx it, so I shoved the thought away. “Thank you for the coffee.”
“Of course.” He patted my calf through the sheet as he sighed. “I don’t want to leave this place, but I miss my baby girl.”
My heart about burst. “I’m sure she’s so excited to see you.”
“Char,” he said, his tone serious, “I can’t tell you how amazing this weekend was. Being with you…” He sighed and ran a finger over his eyebrow. “I’m willing to do anything to make it work, but it’s going to be difficult for me to find balance.”
My throat tightened at the hard expression on his face. “I know, Hayden.”
“Fuck, I’m messing this up. You look worried.” He set his coffee on the side table and scooted closer to me. “I had this all planned out in my head, but then you looked gorgeous and sleepy, and it caused my thoughts to jumble.”
I blushed.
“I think I’m pre-apologizing for anything that happens the next few weeks. I’m going to mess up or Gwen is going to make us change plans. I’ve never dated since becoming her dad, so I don’t know the playbook.” He ran a hand over my neck, bare shoulder, and arm. “I’m going to upset you as I navigate through this, so trust me on this. Never doubt how I feel about you. If my life was simpler, we’d be together already.”
My face heated as I almost said the words that had been rooted in my soul for years. I love you. It was way too soon, but that didn’t make it less true. “Gwen is a part of you. I can handle a little not simple in my life. You’re worth it. So is she okay?”
He blinked before swallowing hard. His gaze shifted toward the lamp, a torn expression on his face. “My parents say goodbye to us today before moving tomorrow.”
My stomach bottomed out. I knew this was happening, but it had to be hard. I couldn’t even imagine not seeing my parents once a week, and I didn’t have a child. “I’m so sorry.”
“Would you like to come over for dinner with us?”
His tone was off, like he was nervous or something. His jaw flexed as he stared at me with longing and worry. Even his shoulders were stiffer than usual.
“I’d love to.”
His posture relaxed, and any ounce of tension disappeared.
“Were you afraid I’d say no?” I sat up higher, setting my mug down so I could touch him. It still blew me away that I could touch him now. Behind closed doors, sure, but for so many years I had to restrain myself.
“Maybe, a little. It’d be with Gwen and my parents.” He relaxed into my touch when I ran my hands over his chest and shoulders.
“Nothing has changed for me, Hop. I love your family. Plus I want to be there for you. Tonight will be hard. Let me take care of you.”
“You’re fucking perfect.” He pulled me into his lap, kissing me hard.
“Hayden, morning breath—”
“I don’t give a shit.” He wrapped my hair around his fist and tugged so my head tipped back. He kissed my neck and nipped under my ear. “I’m obsessed with you.”
“Feeling is mutual.”
Chuckling, he pulled back and stared down at me with so much love that my heart stuttered. “I already told Christian I was driving you back to get your car. They are at the café waiting on Garrett and you to say goodbye.”
“It’s barely eight. Why are they up?”
“It’s your brother, not mine. You explain what’s wrong with him.”
I yawned and rested my forehead on Hayden’s chest. “Can I just cuddle you for a little bit more?”
He laughed and tugged me toward his chest. “I knew I’d like morning Char. You’re nothing like your brother.”
We remained like that for a few minutes before I finally got up. It took more effort than I cared for. Wincing, I bent down to grab my underwear.
“Hey, you alright?” Hayden saw freaking everything.
“I’m a little sore.” I blushed. We had sex three times last night, exploring positions I had never done. It was the best night of my life. “Worth it, so don’t feel bad at all.”
“I’ll start a warm shower for you. Grab what you need from your bag, and I’ll take everything to the car.” He frowned. “I’m sorry I wasn’t more gentle.”
“No, shut your mouth.” I pointed a finger at his chest. “None of that. You were perfect. I loved every second of it and am honestly trying to figure out how to get you naked again.”
His lips quirked up. “If you want to stay over tonight, Gwen is down by eight. I’ll go slower this time.”
I shivered. “Deal.”
It wasn’t a hair wash day, so I showered and was dressed within fifteen minutes. Instead of my normal skin-care routine, I applied a layer of mascara and called it a day. Another pro of being with Hayden? He had seen every side of me. Bedhead, no makeup, wounded, sick one time. There was no shielding him or worrying if I exposed too much. It was liberating.
I tied my hair up into a messy bun. Hayden was at the door before I could even open it, and my stomach swooped. He wore his glasses again, and seriously, they were dangerous. “Hi,” I whispered.
“I hope you never stop blushing around me.” He licked his lips before sliding his fingers under the hem of my sweater. “You look gorgeous.”
“Thank you.”
“You know, I was thinking,” he said, letting go of my sweater as I stepped into the hall. There was a distance between us now, but we knew we had to act that way for a few weeks.
I hated it though.
“Hm?” I probed.
“There are moments this feels like a first date with you. Then there are others where this seems like we’ve been together for years. It’s strange, but in a good way.”
“I know exactly what you mean.” I beamed at him as we headed toward the café. This version of Hayden communicated a lot. It wasn’t like before, or with the other guys I had tried dating, where getting an answer out of them felt like pulling teeth. Hayden said what he felt, and the impact on me was astronomical.
“Let’s say goodbyes fast. I’m not a fan of acting like we aren’t together.”
“You can survive ten minutes, Hop,” I teased.
“Barely.”
I winked, and he narrowed his eyes. Riling him up would always be a favorite. Penny, Christian, and Garrett all sat at a table with to-go cups. Garrett and Christian looked hungover, but Penny glowed. “Damn, girl, how did you not get hit this morning?”
“Water. It’s all about hydration.” She smiled and shared a look with Christian. “My dear fiancé went a little wild with the shots.”
“Might’ve. I did.” Christian groaned into his cup. “Coffee isn’t helping yet.”
“Food. I need grease. Taco Bell. That’s what I need,” Garrett said, tapping his knuckles on the table. “It’s my go-to hangover cure. You want in, Charmander?”
“I’m good. Hayden’s driving me back, so we’re gonna head out. He wants to see Gwen.”
“Thanks for taking care of my sister,” Christian said, holding out a fist. Hayden hit it. “Thanks to all of you for coming this weekend. This means so much to us. We’re getting married in two weeks. I can’t believe it’s finally here.”
Penny leaned her head onto his shoulder. “I’m gonna be a Calhoun.”
Any worry from overhearing their argument left. Penny radiated happiness, and the two of them looked back to normal. Hayden met my gaze for a beat and smiled. He had noticed too then. The wedding was on, and we might never know why they were arguing.
“I get to call you sister in a week. That’s pretty dope.”
She squealed and jumped from the chair to hug me. “I love you, thank you so much again.”
“Love you too, Penny.” I laughed as I got a mouthful of her hair. Christian hugged me next and squeezed me so hard that I pinched his side. “Don’t kill me.”
“When Penny and I have kids, I want them to be close like us.”
“Dude,” I said, pulling back to stare at him, “that was the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. Are you still drunk?”
He laughed, but a serious look remained in his eyes.
“Ready, Char?” Hayden tugged on my elbow, his fingers rubbing along my sweater.
“Yup.” I pointed at my brother. “Too emotional.”
He gave me a sheepish grin. “No such thing. Drive safe, okay?”
I hugged Garrett, and then Hayden and I made the walk toward his truck. It was wild that, only two days ago, I dreaded being alone with him. Now that’s all I wanted. Life was weird.
The two-hour drive felt like five minutes. He alternated between keeping his hand on my thigh or on the wheel when the road was covered in potholes. Thanks, Illinois roads. We talked about the new conditioning coach and how she was breaking a standard of female coaches at the baseball level. We spoke about his parents moving for a year and how he hoped to take Gwen out there to see them play in the band. We talked about my classes and students and if I’d ever want to explore being an athletic director.
We made plans. Date nights (with Gwen, obviously) but then plans for when she went to bed. I was a giggling buffoon at this point. Dating Hayden was a dream.
“If you didn’t have to work tomorrow, I’d say you should just come back to my house now.” He sighed as he parked in front of the tow place. My Mazda sat there, unharmed, and a weird pang formed in my chest.
I didn’t want to leave him, but he needed time with his daughter. “I’ll be over soon enough. What time would you like me?”
“Now.”
I snorted. “Go be with your daughter. I need to throw in some laundry. Then I’ll head over, okay? Want me to grab anything on the way?”
“I have everything we need. Just bring an overnight bag.”
I undid my seat belt. Leaning over, I grabbed his chin and kissed him. He tasted like gum, and he groaned when I nipped his bottom lip. “How had we gone this long without kissing all the time?”
“No fucking idea, but I’m annoyed at Past Me right now.”
With one last kiss, I slid out of his truck. Of course, he got out and walked me toward my car and waited for me to get in and drive away before he hopped back into his. He was such a caretaker, and damn if it didn’t make me love him even more.
Maybe the hour or two of space would be good for us. Help me scale it back, because I was definitely captivated with Hayden. Loving him most of my life had been easy; falling for him would be like breathing. The few people who knew what happened three years ago, my work besties, would be shocked at the turn of events.
Is this foolish?
When I was around Hayden, I could feel how much he cared for me. It was in the way he touched me, and held my gaze, and put his hand at the small of my back. When we were apart though, like now, doubt crept in.
No. I had to take a leap of faith. He told me to never doubt how he felt, even if things became weird. I had to believe him, or this would never work.
My small home was located about twenty minutes from Hayden’s, and I quickly threw in some laundry, wiped the counters, and fidgeted.
He had asked me to spend the night. It seemed so simple while we were at the resort, where we could hide from reality. Going to his house, with his parents and daughter, that felt more real. I tossed a work outfit, pajamas, and toiletries into an actual duffel bag. Hayden would be proud. I had no idea what to do. Did I wait a few hours? Go now?
I might’ve been freaking out. Slightly. A flurry of chaotic butterflies twisted in my gut. There were a few presents left to be wrapped in my room, but I preferred having a glass of wine and making an event of it. Plus I was too distracted.
My phone buzzed, saving me from making a choice when Hayden Porter’s name popped up. “Hi,” I said, my voice shaking a little bit. “How are you?”
Soft laugher carried through the phone. “I can picture you blushing right now.”
“Am not.” I most definitely am.
“You definitely are.” He sighed, and I wanted to bottle up the cuteness. He sounded happy. “I wanted to make sure you weren’t… how do I say this? Freaking out?”
“Am I that obvious?”
“It’s not just you. As soon as I said hi to Gwen and chatted with my parents, I had all these damn questions going on, and I’m a simple guy. You have millions of questions on the daily, so I wanted to make sure you weren’t about to change your mind on me.”
“Ha. I was standing here debating when it would be cool to come over. Is now too desperate? Is an hour from now better?”
“Char, any second you could be here, I want you. Don’t wait an hour because you think it’s what I want. Do what you need first, but I’d love for you to be here. We’re watching Elf in a bit, and I’m making popcorn.”
“That sounds nice.” My smile came easier. “This is gonna take some getting used to, isn’t it?”
“No way around it. I don’t think we’ve spoken on the phone for more than a few sentences in years. I like your phone voice. Might be fun to call you on away trips.”
I snorted. “Okay, already asking for phone sex, and we’ve been dating twenty-four hours.”
“You miss the shots you don’t take.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll leave here in five minutes. Thank you, Hayden. I needed the encouragement.”
“You’re welcome.” His voice went all deep, like he truly meant the words. “Gwen is excited to see you.”
I could almost hear the smile in his voice. “I’m excited to see her. I have something for her too, if it’s alright?”
“Char, baby,” he said, his voice gravelly and low. “It just makes me love you more when you dote on my daughter. Get your ass over here. Safely, of course.”
My heart skipped a beat. Love you more. Each thud was a reminder that I had it bad for Hayden. The fact that he knew to call me was incredible. Maybe everything happened for a reason. Maybe we went through the last three years to get to the point we were now. It filled me with hope, and I just had to cling to it whenever worry crept in.