Christmas Toys

Chapter 1

Bridget

I was fucking myself in the kitchen and not really even into it when I got the text, and you know I wasn’t really into it, because normally I wasn’t one for catching up on old work friends when I had eight inches of silicone shoved up inside my pussy.

It had been a little hard for me to get in the mood when my life was falling apart, and it was really, really saying something when I couldn’t get in the mood.

Having to hear Mariah Carey belting about Christmas every time I went to the shop did not help.

I was just idly looking at my phone anyway while I was trying to get into it, so at first I just clocked that a message came in and I went to check on it, and my stomach dropped when I saw Victoria’s name on it, along with, Hey, Bridget, I hope you’ve been well.

If it’s not too much trouble, I wanted to check…

Victoria Jameson was not compatible with fucking myself in the kitchen.

No way I was getting into this now. I groaned, taking the toy back out and grudgingly putting my clothes back, cleaning it down and washing my hands before I dropped down next to the window with a good six inches of damn snow piling up in the sill, and I checked the text message.

I was wondering if I could check in with you about some things back in the area there. I’d like to schedule a call with you at some point, if you wouldn’t mind sparing a few minutes to talk. Thanks so much for your help. – Victoria

She even wrote her texts like an email. I groaned. Corporate life was haunting me more by the minute.

Victoria Jameson had been my coworker, back in a previous life—a year and a half ago, back when I’d worked as an assistant director of sales for one of those firms that did a lot of work and I still wasn’t quite sure what exactly the end result of it all was.

She was the pencil-pusher’s pencil-pusher in a pencil skirt to match, always very serious, always very professional, and she’d left around the same time I did.

Only difference was that she left for almost twice her salary working in Seattle, while I left to go be a lesbian sex blogger and erotic content creator.

I didn’t tell her that part, though. Just told her I wanted to pursue my independent endeavors. Believe it or not, I’d actually done a good job pretending to be a polished professional while I was working, too.

I doubted I could help with whatever Victoria wanted, but frankly, I needed the distraction.

I’d made the mistake of checking my bank balance this morning, and I’d been trying to distract myself all day—first with my latest book about a girl getting ravished by a sexy lesbian minotaur, which, turns out, was a popular enough concept that this was my fourth book now in the ravished by a sexy lesbian minotaur series.

My stalwart chaste heroine being teased with nipple play until she finally broke and begged the minotaur to fuck her with her huge strap wasn’t distraction enough, even though it was ludicrous that it wouldn’t have been, and I’d tried shifting gears to the erotic audio reading my subscribers had been begging for more of, but that didn’t do the trick either.

Tried watching some new videos from some of my other content-creator friends, but even seeing my friend Gina get reverse-spitroasted by her two girlfriends wasn’t distraction enough, and fucking myself in the kitchen didn’t work either, so at this point, maybe talking about accounting firms or whatever Victoria wanted would work instead.

I didn’t know. I just wanted to pout and curl up in a corner with my stuffed triceratops Mary and talk to my friends or get myself off on the vibrator I’d put in Mary’s tail, but none of that paid rent.

So I texted Victoria back, and I said, Hey, I’m happy to chat. I’m free all day today if you want to get right to it. You know, living that independent schedule life.

Victoria replied almost instantly. I’m happy to hear your independent ventures have still been working out for you, then. Thanks for agreeing to help. Could we pencil it in for two o’clock your time?

I looked up at the corner of my phone. You mean, in six minutes?

If you must be so precise. I confess I may be a little bit time-pressured.

I hit call. She picked up sounding sheepish. “I am sorry to bother you on such short notice. I hope you weren’t in the middle of anything?”

I looked at the dildo drying next to the sink. “Oh, um… nothing too much,” I said. “Just some Christmas baking. You know how it is.”

“That does sound wonderful,” she said enviously.

She still sounded as crisp and polished as ever…

I probably should have found it a little annoying or stuffy or whatever, but, well, I, er—I mean, if we were laying it all out on the table, I had a thing for a girl in a pencil skirt and crisp white blouse who penciled things in.

I’d written a lot of smutty stories about them getting…

corrupted. But I wasn’t going to think about that while I was talking to Victoria.

“It’s really nice,” I said breezily. “But I hear you’re in a time crunch, so, you know, I won’t go rambling off to you about my… snickerdoodles.” I couldn’t bake cookies to save my life. I hoped she wasn’t about to check me on my answers. “What can I do for you? How’s everything in Seattle?”

“Horrible,” she said with a note of forced cheer. “They could have paid me ten times as much and I wouldn’t have done it. I quit.”

“Oh, shit. What are you doing now, then?”

“Coming home, for better or worse,” she sighed.

“But I don’t have a job lined up, so finding accommodation isn’t going to be straightforward, shall we say.

I saved up as much as I could before I quit, but most places want to see pay stubs, so…

I was hoping you might have some leads about anybody with a spare room they could rent out where they’re not likely to worry as much.

I know you kept a close eye on the real estate market there and were looking at bigger listings. ”

Okay, well, she wasn’t wrong, but I’d been looking because I had big ambitions and I wanted a two-bed apartment to convert the second room into a studio for my work. But I wasn’t going to tell Victoria oh, I don’t know much about that, I was just making the ultimate fuck den.

“That’s a lot,” was what I finally settled for saying. “Um… are you doing okay?”

She laughed a forced laugh. “Are any of us doing okay?”

“I don’t know anything off the top of my head, but I’ll keep an eye out, see if anything pops up. When do you need to move by?”

“Well,” she said, sounding, for the first time I’d heard from her, genuinely embarrassed. I waited for her to speak, and when she didn’t, I ventured,

“It’s soon, isn’t it?”

“It would be ideal if I could move over the weekend.”

“I never thought you would be impulsive, Victoria.”

“Yes, well, when I told you that I quit, I did not specify a time. It was an hour ago. My lease is running out this week and I, ostensibly, have a new place lined up, but they’re going to pull it out from under me now that I don’t have income.”

“Oh, shit. I was kind of picturing two weeks’ notice.”

“Try two seconds’ notice.” She sighed. “I’m sorry to put you in this position, Bridget. I’m not putting this all on you, I have other people I can contact too, I just know you always had a way with finding solutions for things…”

“Okay, first of all, just worry about yourself right now, that’s a lot to handle. I’m guessing something happened at work this morning, so you’re probably shaken up and stuff too. Do you not have any family or anything in the area?”

She groaned. “I do,” she said, and that was enough for me to figure out what she was saying. Or what she wasn’t saying.

“Right. Understood. I’ll have a look. It’s my top priority.” Not like I was making any progress on my work right now. “In the meantime, go get, like… cookies or something. Cookies and hot chocolate.”

She sighed, sounding like the most tired person I’d ever heard. “Suddenly I’m in the mood for snickerdoodles… that sounds lovely.”

“Oh. Um, well, you could, uh…” I forced an awkward laugh. “Wish you were here! I’ve got way too many to eat all by myself.” The only thing on the counter was a dildo. I wasn’t feeding Victoria that.

“I genuinely really appreciate your help, Bridget. Let me know if you hear anything. I’ll keep you posted if I hear back from anybody else.”

“Who else are you asking?”

The question, apparently, was a mortal blow. Victoria was quiet for a good few seconds before she said, “There’s some… some people from work.”

“Okay, why don’t you forget all of that and leave it to me? You just take care of your snickerdoodles and getting packed up.”

“I don’t know what to say. I really don’t want to put all this on you—”

“Girl, relax.” I was losing my corporate edge. It had been too long. I pulled myself together. “Give yourself a break. You’re not in any state to bring your best efforts right now anyway. Pass the baton along to me, and I’ll carry it until you can take it back, all right?”

“Thank you so much. I owe you a massive favor for all your help.”

“You can pay me back by helping me finish off my next batch of snickerdoodles, okay?” Which would come from the store. I’d squish them a little bit or something to make them look more homemade. “Okay, Victoria, get some rest. I’ll let you know once I find something out.”

∞∞∞

I didn’t get any leads, though.

For how much I talked a big game, I wasn’t really the information broker of this place.

Not exactly the kind of place where a professional lesbian slut would make a lot of connections, not that I could really explain that part to Victoria.

I was feeling desperate on Victoria’s behalf when I sat in the corner of my bed later, hugging Mary the dinosaur into my chest while I sent Discord messages on my phone, trauma dumping on my friend Nikki, and she typed a reply back.

wanna hop on call?

In lieu of a response, I sent a pleading face emoji. Normally I’d have gone into the studio and set up on my computer with my nice camera and microphone and everything, but this time, I stuck to my phone as she called me, her voice low and smooth.

“It’s sweet that you’re doing this for your friend.”

“I don’t know if I’d even really call her my friend,” I said, slumping back in bed.

“We were friendly while we worked together, but we never talked outside of work or anything… I think she’s just desperate.

Which means I can’t really just turn up like oh, jeez, I’ve got nothing, sorry.

Ugh! I’m just going to jump into a frozen lake and not have to deal with this anymore. ”

“Okay, let’s take it one step at a time, and none of those steps involve jumping into a frozen lake.”

“Ugh. Sorry. I’m just grouchy. I’ve been moody over my situation all day and I can’t focus on anything. Even the latest Lesbians’ Labyrinth doesn’t do it for me. I needed to get off but I couldn’t get in the mood and then I couldn’t get anything done, either.”

“Could keep you company, if you want,” she said, her voice that distinct combination of genuinely caring and also genuinely flirting.

Wouldn’t have been the first time we got off together on voice.

Nikki and I weren’t remotely romantic, but we were both equally horny, so sometimes friends were there for each other.

“Thanks, but not this time. I’m just stressed out. Even a good orgasm isn’t going to make it go away.”

“What’s your situation?” she said. “If it’s stressing you out so much you can’t even come, it must be a big deal.”

“I shouldn’t have signed on this stupid place,” I groaned, squeezing Mary harder into my chest. “I thought I’d be able to produce so much more when I left the job and I could do it full-time!

But I guess I overestimated myself, because that didn’t happen, and my savings from my old job have been slowly running out…

I don’t know how I’m going to make it work through the end of the lease.

I should have just gotten some dinky little studio in nowheresville instead. ”

Nikki paused. “You know, I hate to be out here giving advice when you just need to vent, but I’m kind of seeing an obvious solution.”

I sat up. “What’s up? Please, do not hold back on my account. I’ll cry with happiness if you have an answer.”

“Why don’t you just lease your second room to Victoria?”

I blinked. “Huh?”

“You have a whole room you can’t afford, and you have a friend with a bunch of money who’s desperate for a place.”

“Bu—” I shook my head. “Oh my god, Nikki, I can’t do that. Her? As a roommate? While I’m over here moaning like a slut into a microphone or playing a game live with an audience-controlled vibrator up my pussy?”

“I guess she doesn’t know what you do, then.”

“Oh, god, no. I was all in profesh mode, you know? They didn’t even know I was gay. Victoria has no clue.”

“Well… she only needed it for a few months, right? How long do you have to get through before you can leave your lease?”

“I… I mean, just a few months. I guess. Oh my god, there’s no way. There’s, like, three surfaces tops in this apartment that I haven’t come on. I cannot have sleek, polished, professional Victoria Jameson sitting on the couch where I’ve squirted.”

“You cleaned it up, right?”

“I mean, physically yes but emotionally, that never comes out!”

“Didn’t you soundproof the fuck out of that studio?”

“I mean, yeah,” I mumbled, feeling my face burn. I guess objectively, it made sense. Victoria would have a place to stay, and I’d make rent. Wasn’t that the most important thing in the world?

But still. She’d be keeping her vegetables in the same fridge where I’d kept a glass dildo.

“It would only be for a few months,” Nikki said.

“Oh, my god, Nikki. Am I really supposed to start pretending to be a good, straightlaced… straight… woman?”

“You did it before…”

“At work. And then I went home!”

“Same deal with your studio. I’m not telling you what to do, just… it seems like the obvious solution.”

God, why did she have to be right? This wouldn’t be half as bad if she weren’t. I groaned, slumping back into the bed, and at length, I said, “I’ll never be able to look her in the eye.”

“You won’t have to, once you’ve gotten your studio in nowheresville.”

It was so ridiculous. But I couldn’t deny that I already felt massively lighter thinking about it—that rent would be covered, that I’d make it out of this lease and into a place where finally, after the stress of this last year and a half trying to get solvent, finally, I’d be steady.

“I’m not going to be able to make a sexy Christmas video this year,” I sighed.

“Maybe record it early.”

“Maybe. I’m going to go masturbate on the couch while I still can.”

“Do you want me to keep you company this time?”

“Eh… sure. Otherwise I’ll spiral again.”