Chapter 5
Bridget
I was losing my mind.
If you’d asked me before all of this, I would have said that a hot woman needing my help and moving into my apartment was a sexy setup for my latest hit.
But I was breaking. I’d been simultaneously hornier than ever and more reluctant to masturbate, because it would have been incredibly disrespectful to fantasize about Victoria, but I could not get off thinking about anything else.
Every time I tried, I started off with the best intentions—I had a favorite video I’d put on, or I’d get into the mood writing something sexy, or I’d just settle in with a really vivid scenario in mind—and then I’d stall out without really being able to climax.
And I’d hover in that space knowing exactly what I needed to do to come, but knowing I really shouldn’t.
She’d just been sexually harassed. I was no better than her sicko of a boss.
I knew I needed to be better, but when I was flushed and heated and grinding on a pillow, I couldn’t find the better person deep inside me, and I pictured Victoria.
Pictured it was her thigh I was grinding on, or that I had this vibrator inside me while I was buried between her legs, or this, or that, or the other thing, and almost immediately I was having the most throbbing, leg-shaking orgasm that left me sweaty and blissfully spent.
I even asked Nikki for help getting off at one point, and she was the one who broke it to me gently.
“I think we should stop,” she said, and I groaned, turning off the wand vibrator and dropping it next to me, flopping onto my back.
“I was starting to get somewhere…”
“Have you tried just fantasizing about her?”
“Nikki. You and Gina both. It would be gross and disrespectful.”
“It’s not like you’re doing anything to her. I mean, as long as you still treat her the same when it’s the actual her and not the version of her in your fantasy, right? You know there’s men who jerk off to your stuff too and it’s not like you get uptight about it even though you’re not into that.”
“Yeah, but I consent to all of that when I put that stuff out there. What happens when the lines between the real version and the fantasy one start to blur?”
“What happens when you can’t come and you get so sexually frustrated you can’t write anything?”
I groaned, dragging Mary over my face and squishing her. “Okay, but like, don’t come for me like that.”
“You’ve got to do what you can for your career. And for the sake of all your fans. Plus, how long before you get so frustrated and desperate you do something stupid in front of her?”
“I’m not that dumb. I wouldn’t actually do anything.”
And then I was made a fool of, because it was only the next day that another one of my friends Tessa egged me on after my stream had finished and I was still horny, and that was when she’d convinced me to keep a vibrator in while I ducked out to the kitchen, and of course, Victoria just so happened to come into the kitchen behind me.
I should have been upset about it, should have felt guilty, should have been put off from ever doing that again.
Instead, I’d been standing there trying desperately to make normal conversation with Victoria while there was a vibrator in my pussy, and it was the hottest thing that anybody had ever experienced, and the best I could manage was shoving the corner of a bar of chocolate in my mouth to cover up the fact that I was coming on the spot, and then ran to the bathroom to have another orgasm immediately after.
I didn’t even remember a word I’d said to Victoria, and it took until the next morning, when she asked if I was feeling better, gesturing to her abdominal area when I looked confused, that I realized she’d thought I was on my period.
In a perfect world where I didn’t have to hide the fact that I’d come in my pants mid-conversation with her, I’d have explained that I’d had bad enough periods as a teenager that I’d had part of my uterus removed and an IUD inserted and I didn’t have periods anymore.
As it was, I just nodded and said I was already feeling so much better, sorry about that.
So, I think it was pretty obvious Nikki was right.
Especially given that I kept getting turned on thinking about the fact that I’d gotten caught.
I was so horny all the time and so pent-up and frustrated that it was genuinely just a matter of time before I did something even stupider.
And when I’d been in the middle of reading my script and Victoria had banged on my door, I panicked and got turned on in equal measures.
So that was how I wound up on a call with Nikki again, on video this time, pouting and slumping over the desk as Nikki, a heavily tattooed white woman with purple hair and a lip piercing, gave me a sympathetic smile.
“So, what? Stopping readings now too? Those were the only things you could actually still consistently do.”
“I know. I’m gonna lose my mind. I’m an adult content creator, how am I sexually repressed and frustrated?”
“I dunno. If you ask me, it works in your favor,” she said, and I glared desperately at her.
“Okay, if you wanna explain, I’m all ears. We had noodles together just a bit ago, and I’m sure they were delicious, but I was mostly just zoning out trying not to think about her shoulders. I’ve officially lost it.”
She grinned. “You were reading that script about sexy office girls, right? The one that was clearly inspired by wanting to fuck Victoria?”
“Um, yep.”
“How’d it feel to think Victoria might have been listening?”
I snorted. “How do you think?” I buried my face in my hands. “I panicked and felt like my vagina would explode at the same time. And now I’m paranoid that she might always be listening.”
“Like, girl, you soundproofed the fuck out of that place. She won’t hear it without trying to, which is basically her consenting to it, so… every time you do a reading, you might sneakily be having a little audio session with Victoria.”
“Oh.” I got a shiver in my thighs, and I sat up a little taller. “Nikki, I’m not supposed to think things like that.”
She grinned. “I can’t wait to hear your new releases. What you sent me so far is really fucking hot.”
I finished another one of the audio recordings that night, and then another one.
And I was finally able to have a good, satisfying orgasm.
I should probably have felt guilty about it, but when I was slumped down in my chair like I’d come so hard that I didn’t have bones left in my body anymore, it was hard to feel much other than blissful.
Nikki was right that my fans would love it. I knew a bunch of regulars who loved the erotic audios when I got to say I actually came during the recording.
I felt better the next day, my head finally cleared up a little, and I beamed at Victoria when she was in the kitchen before me, making coffee. “Good morning,” she said with a sweet smile my way, and god, was I relieved I could see that without getting horny.
“Morning,” I said. “I’m going to grab us cinnamon rolls. Because we’re worth it. Do you want to come with, or stay here while I grab them?”
She did that cute little thing where she pursed her lips in a little pout when she was confused. “Cinnamon rolls? It’s not Christmas yet.”
I put my hands on my hips. “Turns out, you can eat them any day you like! It’s the Christmas season, it’s fine.”
She seemed to fight a bit with the concept before she shifted gears. “Well… all right. You don’t need to buy me them, though. I can—”
“You’ve been treating me all the time. I’m in a good mood today, so let me treat you. It’s the least I can do, okay?”
“But—”
“Okay, let’s flip on it. Heads I buy you cinnamon rolls, tails you get cinnamon rolls bought for you by me.”
That did it—she laughed, eyes sparkling, as she set down the bag of coffee. “All right, Bridget, you win. But I’m coming with you. Have to make sure you don’t get distracted and wander off somewhere.”
I put my hands on my hips. “How short do you think my attention span is, ma’am?”
She held up two fingers close together. I laughed, reaching over the counter and pushing her hand open wider.
“Hey—you stop that. Honestly! After I offer to buy you treats!”
The morning was crisp and cozy, cold air as the sun was just rising, and our breath fogged up as our boots crunched over thin snow on the ground of the parking lot, heading for my car while Victoria talked about the freelancing gig she’d landed and about whether she’d be able to spin it into anything more significant.
We were so engrossed in conversation that I didn’t even realize the problem, and we got cozied up in my car, still shivering against the cold, when I started it up and blasted the heat, and my audiobook started playing where I’d left it off, a sultry woman’s voice reading.
“… took her in, sitting on the chaise below me with her legs—”
I slammed the button to turn it off, changing it furiously to the radio, and I’d never been so relieved to hear Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in my life.
“Sorry,” I blurted, too fast and high-pitched, and I tried to laugh to cover it up.
“Pretend you didn’t hear that. That’s pre-release.
For a friend. I’ve been tasked with listening to it and making sure there’s no errors.
” The book came out two weeks ago and I had never once spoken to the author.
I needed to stop talking. “What kind of music do you like?”
She settled into her seat, buckling her seatbelt. “I don’t mind listening to the book, if you want to. It’s been a minute since I was into audiobooks… it’s kind of nice.”
Well, that was all well and good, but that was the scene where the main character met her employee at the sex club and ate her out in public.
Victoria probably preferred, like, a cozy mystery or something.
“It’s kind of embarrassing,” I said, which was strictly very very true. “Let’s just listen to some music.”