Chapter 4 Lisa
LISA
The morning of the rehearsal dinner, Lisa sat in the lobby of the lodge with her mother, her father, and David.
They were in four comfortable chairs arranged around a coffee table.
Floor-to-ceiling windows looked out to the snow-covered meadow at the foot of the mountain.
Bright morning sun made the snow sparkle.
Beyond, early-morning skiers peppered the slopes in their bright jackets.
A fat Christmas tree scented the air with fir needles.
Logs burned bright in the stone fireplace and warmed the side of Lisa’s face as she waited for Mom to share the purpose of this unexpected family get-together.
Her mother had texted at the crack of dawn that they needed to meet as a family. Lisa assumed it was to talk about David’s return to Iowa. She almost declined but didn’t want to leave David alone to deal with their mother.
Mom seemed jumpier than usual. She startled when a child came running into the lobby, and she kept fluffing the same section of her hair. Lisa wished Mom had brought her knitting. At least then she had something to do with her hands.
“Mom, can I get you something?” David asked. “Did you eat any breakfast?”
Lisa had noticed how thin her mother was the moment they arrived. She’d always been slender, but she seemed brittle, as if her bones could snap at the slightest touch.
“We had a bite at the house, yes.” Mom smoothed her wool trousers with the tips of her fingers. “Warren, do you want to tell them, since this is what you want?”
She took a good look at Dad. His skin looked almost green. Had he and the rest of the guys tied one on last night? She peeked over at David. He, too, seemed drawn and tired. The kids had probably kept him up half the night. They never slept well away from home.
“I didn’t want to tell you this weekend,” Warren said. “But just as she’s done for thirty-five years, your mother got her way.”
“Didn’t want to tell us what?” David twisted his watch around his wrist.
“Your father’s divorcing me.” Mom crossed her arms over her chest.
“What?” Lisa asked, sure she’d heard her mother incorrectly.
“We’ve been in counseling,” Dad said. “Since Marigold’s death, I’ve felt a greater need to get to the truth of things.”
“He’s decided the truth is that we don’t belong together,” Mom said with a slight waver in her voice.
“You’re getting a divorce?” Lisa whispered. And you’re telling me this the day before my wedding?
David seemed to be thinking along the same lines. “This isn’t exactly a good time to tell us. Lisa’s getting married tomorrow.”
“I understand,” Dad said. “But your mother wanted it out in the open.”
“Since we’re so busy telling the truth about everything now,” Mom said, “I didn’t feel like it could wait.”
Lisa couldn’t think. A buzzing had started between her ears. There were few constants in the world. She’d always figured her parents’ unhappy marriage was one of them.
“I’m leaving your mother the house,” Dad said. “I’d like to come out west. Be near you guys.”
“You want to come to Cliffside Bay?” David asked, as if their father had announced his intention to run for president of the United States. “Move from Iowa?”
“Unless you don’t want me to,” Dad said. “Which I understand. Your mother feels certain you’ll side with her.”
“There are no sides,” David said. “We’d love for you to come. It’s just…”
“Weird to think of you without Mom.” Lisa finished his sentence for him, as they’d done all their lives.
“I can imagine it is,” Dad said. “I’m sorry this is difficult. My parents were divorced, and I never stopped wishing it wasn’t so.”
“Is that why it took you so long?” David asked. “I mean, you’ve been in this for thirty-five years. Why now? Why not when we left for high school?”
“It took a long time for me to give myself permission,” Dad said.
“Permission? That’s rich, Warren,” Mom said.
Lisa studied her father. He seemed different.
Less vacant. More alive. He’d been under Mom’s thumb for so long that maybe he’d lost himself.
Would this be a reawakening for him? A second chance?
They were only sixty. There were plenty of good years left.
Still, the thought of her parents divorced was too much to get her head around.
“I’m sorry if this puts a damper on your wedding,” Dad said. “This is your time, not ours.”
“Since you cut me out of the wedding, that much is obvious.” Mom’s bottom lip trembled until she composed herself. There it was. The mask.
“I’m sorry, Mom. We wanted to do it before I started back at work, so we could take a long honeymoon. With my filming schedule it made sense for Pepper to help.”
“That is not the reason and you know it,” Mom said. “You wanted me out of it. None of you want me to be part of your lives.”
“Not true,” David said. “But Lisa wanted this wedding to be what she wanted, not what you wanted. It’s hard to say no to you once you get involved. With anything.”
“Is that why you’ve taken the children from me?” Mom asked. “Because you didn’t like what I was doing with them?”
“Mom, I had to get out of there. Start fresh.”
“You chose Lisa instead of me,” Mom said. “And now your father is, too.”
Lisa clasped her hands together so tightly her knuckles whitened. “It’s not a contest, Mom. David and I love you. You’re our mom. No one’s choosing anyone.”
Mom’s eyes flashed with rage as she whipped her head around to face Lisa.
“You’ll see, Lisa. One day you’ll wake up and you won’t be so pretty.
Your white skin that used to look dewy will sag and wrinkle.
The roles will have dried up by then. Rafael will have become bored with you and be secretly seeing someone else. ”
“For the thousandth time, I’m not seeing anyone else,” Dad said.
Mom plowed forward without a pause in speech. “Your children will have grown up and no longer need you. You’ll be a has-been and probably fat from eating your feelings.”
Lisa’s mouth fell open, stunned by the cruelty coming out of her own mother’s mouth.
“Mom, you cannot talk to Lisa that way,” David said. “I won’t allow it.”
“You don’t get to tell me what to do, David Paul Perry.
I’m your mother.” She turned back to Lisa.
“Maybe, just maybe, you’ll get the house where you made five hundred thousand meals for people who never loved you like you loved them.
I devoted my life to the three of you. And now, it’s nothing. Dust between my fingers.”
Hot tears sprang from Lisa’s eyes. Across from her, Dad also wept, silently and without bothering to wipe them from his face.
David spoke softly. “Mom, I know how it is to wake up one day and realize everything you thought was true is not. You’ll be all right. I promise.”
Mom rose abruptly. “I’ll be leaving this morning.”
“Wait, what? You’re not staying for my wedding?” Lisa also stood.
“I have things to do at home. People who need me.” Mom straightened her sweater. “If your father hadn’t decided to announce his intentions last night, it might not be this way. But he’s always been a selfish man, and he still is.”
Mom turned on her heel and made a beeline for the double doors out of the lobby. Lisa, dazed into a state of paralysis, sank back into the chair.
“Should I go after her?” David asked.
“If she’ll listen to anyone, it’s you,” Dad said. “But her bags are packed. She’s headed to the airport from here.”
David rocked back and forth with his hands on his knees. “I don’t know if her staying is the right choice.” He looked over at Lisa. “This weekend is about you and Rafael. Whenever Mom’s involved in anything, it’s all about her. I’m sorry to say it, but maybe letting her go is for the best.”
Lisa looked over at her father. He stared blankly into space. “Dad, had you guys already decided before you came out here?”
“What? No. No, it wasn’t like that. We’ve been in counseling, like I said.
She thought it was just a passing phase, you know, because of what happened with Marigold.
Her murder and what we found out about her shook me to the core.
Dealing drugs? My daughter-in-law. Right under all our noses.
I thought maybe your mother was right. My confusion and depression were because of all that.
In therapy, though, I was allowed to talk.
The therapist made your mother be quiet so I could say what I thought about things—express areas I felt needed improvement in our marriage.
Eventually, I started seeing a psychologist separately.
Working with her, I finally faced the truth.
I’ve been unhappy for a long time. I saw you two taking all these risks and finding the lives you’ve always wanted.
It made me see how asleep I’ve been. I’d decided weeks ago, but I wouldn’t have told her my decision until after your big day, knowing how she would react.
Believe it or not, Lisa, given my actions, I want the world for you.
You’ve never asked for anything from any of us, and I wanted this weekend to be perfect for you.
But last night, when we went to bed, she started in on me.
She said I kept looking at Ria at dinner, which is not true.
I don’t know what got into her. Anyway, we had it out, and in a moment of anger I told her I wanted a divorce.
” He looked up at them for the first time.
“I’d already started the paperwork before we came out here. ”
“But she didn’t know,” David said.
Their father didn’t answer, simply bobbed his chin in an admission that reeked of guilt.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” David asked.
“What I want has been so deeply buried inside me that it was hard to recognize at first. But yes, this is what I want.”
Lisa scooted forward in her chair. Through the lobby’s glass doors, she spotted her mother’s red coat. She stood near the valet stand, obviously waiting for the car. “I should go talk to her.”
“If you think that’s best,” Dad said.