Chapter Thirty-Four Josh
I’m pregnant.
Emma’s words echo in my ears on a constant loop, making my heart pound faster as the meaning of those words really hits me.
She’s carrying a baby. She’s going to be a mother.
But who is the father?
“You are? Really?” Max speaks first, sheer disbelief written all over his face as he stares at her.
Emma sniffles and nods, her hand moving to rest on her stomach. Something about that motion makes my heart forget how to beat for a moment. It’s so simple, but it means so damn much.
“I haven’t known for long,” Emma tells us. “I was too scared to say anything sooner. I was just so… overwhelmed and surprised. I didn’t expect this to happen!”
“If you haven’t known for long, then the father…” Max trails off as his brow furrows, his mind working out the math that I’ve already guessed.
Judging by Ryan’s pale, shocked face, he’s done the math as well.
“One of you is the dad,” Emma confirms as her eyes glisten. She swallows hard and presses the back of her hand against one of her flushed cheeks. “I don’t know who.”
“But you were protected, right?” Max asks, focusing on the logistics while my mind trails off into fantasy land.
The baby could be mine. One out of three isn’t bad odds, but even if the baby is Max’s or Ryan’s, there’s a part of me that still feels connected to it. Like it’s still mine in a way.
There weren’t just two of us that night. There were four. We all shared her. Worshipped her. Made her ours.
And now she’s pregnant with our kid.
Holy shit.
“My birth control must’ve failed,” Emma sighs as she lowers her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t plan for this to happen.”
“I need some air,” Ryan finally speaks, his eyes looking distant. He pushes past me and Max and heads out of the apartment, silence lingering in the hallway.
Emma’s bottom lip trembles before she covers her mouth with her hand, stifling a sob. More tears fall, and I finally snap out of my own thoughts so that I can step over to her and pull her into my arms. She immediately buries her face in my chest, not pulling away anymore.
Finally.
“It’s okay,” I tell her as I rub her back, holding her firmly with my other hand. “You don’t have to cry, Em.”
Emma shakes her head. “We shouldn’t even be around each other. How are we supposed to hide a baby?”
“I don’t think that’s possible,” Max murmurs as his wide-eyed stare settles on the floor, his mind working to process everything. “Unless you say the baby is someone else’s.”
“Which I don’t want,” I say as I flash Max a pointed look. “It’s one of ours. We’ll be involved, so they’ll find out anyway. There’s no hiding the truth now.”
Emma digs her nails into my back, holding onto me like I’m the only thing keeping her grounded. “I don’t want to force any of you to do anything. I’ll raise the baby on my own if I have to.”
“No, you won’t,” I tell her as I gently cup her face and direct her eyes to mine. “This entire time, you’ve tried to carry this on your own shoulders. You don’t have to do that anymore. We’re here.”
“Ryan isn’t,” Emma whispers, her voice trembling.
“He’ll come back,” Max says. “Sometimes he just needs a minute to wrap his head around things.”
I nod before smiling down at Emma. “We’re here.”
Emma breathes in deeply through her nose, her chest pressing against mine. “I can’t believe this happened. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, but I didn’t expect it to happen like this.”
“We can’t predict how our lives are going to go,” I tell her as I brush her hair behind her ears. “All we can do is make the most of them. This is a good thing, Emma.”
Emma’s expression softens, hope breaking through the concern in her eyes. “You really think that? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”
I let out a light chuckle as a glowing ball of warmth forms in my chest. There is a sliver of me that’s a little wary about telling everyone and dealing with their reactions, but the rest of me is over the moon.
“I know we don’t know who the dad is, but it doesn’t really matter to me,” I tell her. “I’ve always wanted to be a dad, and there isn’t anyone else on the planet that I would want to have a child with more than you.”
Emma’s eyes start watering all over again, a little sniffle sounding from her. “I was worried that I would end up alone. That I would be the only one excited. I mean, I’m terrified too but also really happy.”
“You’ll be a great mom,” Max says as he steps closer to her, his hand grazing her back. “You’re kind and patient and caring. You’ll be perfect.”
Emma gives him a grateful look before her expression turns more serious. “You haven’t really said how you feel about all of this.”
Max takes a deep breath and shakes his head in disbelief. “I think I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. I figured I would have a family of my own one day, but I didn’t expect it so soon.”
Emma frowns, starting to shrink into herself.
“But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be a part of this,” Max tells her. “Josh is right. There’s no one else I would want to have a child with other than you. I’m all in. Whatever we do.”
Relief washes over Emma’s face as she nods. “I want all of you with me throughout it all. The doctor’s appointments. The nursery planning. The name picking. Everything. If you want that.”
“I want to be involved in everything,” I say without hesitation. If she wants help researching what prenatal vitamins to take or what color to paint the nursery walls, I want in. I want in on it all.
Max nods. “Yeah, me too. There’s a lot of logistics that we need to figure out, though.”
I wave him off, already feeling Emma tense up in my hold. Max is right, but we don’t need to worry about all the details right now. We only just found out the news. “Later. I just want to cherish this right now.”
Emma smiles and rests her head on my chest, no longer clawing at my back. She hugs me instead, letting me support her as she needs. “I don’t know what to do now. I almost feel paralyzed because there’s so much that needs to be done.”
“Me either,” Max whispers, still looking like he’s reeling.
I don’t want anyone to fall apart. Not after hearing this happy news.
“Max, how about you order us some dinner to be delivered here?”
“Yeah, okay,” Max replies before heading off, glad to have a task to focus on.
I turn back to Emma and slide my hands up and down her arms to help her relax. She’s still as tense as can be, and if she’s carrying our baby, she needs to get a handle on her stress. It’s not good for either of them.
“As for you, you need to rest,” I say.
Emma sighs as she rests her hands on my chest. “It’s hard to think about relaxing right now. Ryan still isn’t back. Can you call him and make sure that he’s okay?”
“I’ll have Max reach out to him,” I promise her before taking her hand and leading her to Max’s couch. I motion for her to lay down, hearing Max order nearly everything off the menu. He can be a stress eater.
Emma lays on her side, curling her legs up and nestling her head in the throw pillow that I tuck under her.
“All right, dinner is ordered,” Max says as he crosses over to us, already fidgeting and restless. “Anything else that I can do?”
“Where do you keep your extra pillows and blankets?” I ask him as I pat him on the back of his shoulder, trying to get him to loosen up. He at least needs to do so in front of Emma so that she doesn’t feed off his stress.
We really need to keep an eye on her.
“This way,” Max replies as he motions to another hallway. He takes me to one of the guest bedrooms and opens the walk-in closet.
“You okay, man?” I ask him.
Max doesn’t look at me as he grabs Emma an extra pillow and blanket. “I’m happy. I promise. You know how my mind is. I can’t stop thinking about everything that’s coming next.”
I place my hand on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “I know. I get it, but I need you to put on a strong face for her. There’s more pressure on her than what’s on us combined.”
Max breathes in deeply and nods before turning to me. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll get it together for her.”
“She can’t be stressed out like she has been. I don’t want anything bad to happen to her or the baby,” I tell him. “We’ll just take things one day at a time. One obstacle at a time.”
Max nods again. “Okay.”
“I’ll take these to her. Try to get ahold of Ryan and check on him,” I say as I take the pillow and blanket from him.
“You know that he won’t answer,” Max sighs as he takes his phone out of his pocket.
“Try anyway,” I reply. I promised Emma that he would.
I head out of the guest bedroom and back into the living room where Emma is still curled up, her eyes resting on the television, despite it not being on. A frown tries to form on my face, but I fight it off and grab the remote off the coffee table with my free hand.
“Why don’t you pick out something to watch?” I suggest as I hand her the remote.
Emma stays still as I prop her up more with the extra pillow and drape the soft blanket over her body. Her eyes lift to mine. “Thank you.”
I crouch down in front of her so that we’re closer to eye level. “You don’t have to thank me, Em. Get used to this.”
A warm smile steadily crosses her face. That’s what I like to see.
I lean forward and press a gentle kiss against her forehead, my fingers brushing through her hair. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”
With my whole heart, I believe in my own words.
I’ll make sure that things turn out okay.