Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
Seven o’clock was fast approaching and Mum was still adjusting her already perfect make-up. I was ready and had stolen enough astonished glances at my own reflection that I was worried I’d lose my nerve and wash away this version of myself – glamorous, glowing, subtly sexy – in favour of a familiar black dress and some flat ballet pumps. I was used to dressing up for events, but as well as the gold sequins, which rippled down my body in an outrageous wave of glitz, Mum’s hair and make-up job far surpassed anything I could achieve on my own. It was hard to pinpoint exactly what was different, because I didn’t look overdone or even remotely like my Dynasty namesake, not that that would have been such a bad thing. There was something in her choice of colours and the way she had applied everything, that defined my features in an unbelievably flattering way and seemed to light up when I smiled. But I was used to being on time for events I hosted, and I was starting to feel nervous.
‘Mum, shall I go and get Douglas? It’s so nearly time.’
She turned to me and reached out her hand which, after a second’s hesitation, I took. We rarely touch, Mum and me.
‘Darling, if this wasn’t my engagement party, I would be proud to enter it with only you at my side.’
‘Well, you mean with me in this dress.’ I hadn’t wanted to snipe at her, but it came out, the usual old defensiveness. I braced myself for a cutting reply, but instead received a gentle squeeze of my hand.
‘Fallon, you have every right to be angry at me. Until recently, the most important thing to me would have been your dress – or at least that’s what I would have told myself. But I’ve always been so proud of you and would have loved to have you with me no matter what you were wearing.’
‘So, why didn’t you?’
She paused.
‘I should have done. I have been too caught up over the years in creating, then being, Jacqueline Honeywood. She came before everything else, at first because she had to, and then because I was so terrified of losing her after all she had done for me – for us. But inside, Jackie Woodcock has always adored her only daughter and it’s time Jacqueline caught up, no matter what the event, or the dress. This time we’ve spent together, darling, it’s made me understand the damage I have done. With two minutes to go until the party, perhaps it’s not ideal timing to talk it all over, but maybe we can agree to find some time, lots of time. It’s up to you.’
The years fell away, and I was five years old again, looking at my Mum as if she were the most wonderful thing in the entire world, wanting nothing more than her love and her acceptance. Bruised I may be, but I knew better than to throw away this chance. I squeezed her hand back.
‘I’d like that. A lot.’
When Douglas put his head around the door to see if we were ready to go down, he found us hugging each other tightly, our glow coming not just from our golden dresses.
‘I’ll go now,’ I said, breaking away. ‘Give me another few minutes and when you hear the gong, you can make your grand entrance down the stairs.’
As I passed Douglas, he caught at my arm and pulled me into a brief hug.
‘So glad to have another daughter,’ he said, his voice thick with emotion. I didn’t dare reply, too worried that tears would start spilling out. Instead, I nodded, smiled and left the room, going downstairs with a new lightness in my heart.
I saw Sam almost immediately, standing near the front door. He was looking nervously at his watch, but his wrist dropped when he saw me.
‘Fallon! Bloody hell, you look fantastic!’
‘Thank you.’ I smiled. ‘Mum worked her magic on me.’
‘Things a bit better between the two of you?’
‘Yes. I didn’t think Christmas miracles were a real thing, but one seems to have happened.’
‘Do you think she’s changed?’
‘I’m not sure if changed is the right word. I think it’s more that she’s acknowledging a part of herself that was always there, but that she didn’t dare let see the light.’
Sam arched an eyebrow at me and nodded towards Alexander, who was coming over. He was dressed in a simple black tuxedo with a crisp white shirt and looked incredibly handsome, if a little nervous.
‘Maybe she’s not the only one in need of an epiphany this festive season.’
I didn’t have time to reply as Alexander came up, his face breaking into a smile.
‘Fallon, you look so beautiful.’
‘Thank you,’ I replied, blushing. ‘You look great too. Um, how are things going?’
‘Nearly everyone is here. Are Dad and Jacqueline coming soon?’
‘As soon as they hear the gong,’ I replied. ‘Come on, let’s get this party started.’
Despite my misgivings, the party was a huge success. The band, who seemed barely out of school, were astonishingly good and played a crowd-pleasing mix of floor fillers and Christmas hits that had even the most curmudgeonly of guests tapping their toes, and the rest of us up and dancing. The food was utterly delectable, and I grabbed Coco as she swept past me with another tray laden with canapés.
‘Thank you so much, you and Estelle have been incredible.’
‘It’s been fun,’ she replied, her eyes sparkling. ‘And Mum’s enjoyed it too. She’s even offered to help me start up my own catering business.’
‘That’s wonderful! You deserve it.’
I grabbed a tiny shortbread biscuit with Wensleydale and a sliver of pear balanced on it and let her continue doing her rounds. It was rare I had the opportunity to enjoy a party that I had organised, but I was loving this one, especially as Sam was taking the main responsibility for any behind-the-scenes hiccups. Of course, it was just as I was savouring another mouthful of cheese and biscuit when Annabel came gliding up.
‘Hello there, Fallon. You’re looking very…sparkly.’
The way she said it made it clear she thought I looked like I’d been dressed by a cheap supermarket, but the sneer in her voice couldn’t get to me that evening. It helped that she had, unusually, missed the mark with her outfit and was looking twee in a red plaid printed dress in a 1950s style, high necked and belted with a red ribbon with white reindeer gambolling along it. We were standing near the fire and her flushed cheeks clashed terribly with the dress. She had had layers cut in since I last saw her, and with her hair in a girlish ponytail, I imagined she had been aiming for a sort of Bing Crosby Christmas cuteness. I decided to avoid any comment on what she was wearing.
‘Thank you. Are you enjoying the party?’
‘Very much. But I haven’t seen Alexander yet, and I wanted to invite him – ah! There he is. Alex!’
She stood on tippy toes and waved at Alexander, who came over with a reluctant smile. Poor man! Which out of the two of us did he least want to see?
‘Hello, Annabel,’ he said, leaning down to kiss her cheek and being drawn into a warm embrace. When she eventually released him, she flicked her ponytail and went full Doris Day.
‘Where is darling Theo? I have a little present for him, which I know he’ll love, and I did so want to give it to him myself. It’s so marvellous to see the joy in children’s eyes when they open a gift, don’t you agree, Fallon?’
I nodded and hmm-ed noncommittally, wondering how soon I could politely extricate myself. She tipped her head to one side and looked at me, her face a picture of pretty bewilderment.
‘Oh! Maybe you don’t think so. Anyway, Alexander, do you know where he is?’
‘He’s not one for big parties, so I think he’s gone to his room with Runcible.’
‘Runcible?’
‘My dog,’ I explained. ‘They’re great friends.’
‘I see. Well, maybe I can find him later. But Alexander, I did want to pin you down about next Saturday. I can’t invite everyone ,’ she added, glancing at me, ‘it is very much a soirée intime , but having you there, Alex, would make it.’
‘I’m so sorry, Annabel, but that is the day of the Christmas Fayre. I think I’ll have far too much to sort out and I wouldn’t want to turn up late and spoil things. I’ll have to say no.’
She pouted.
‘ What a shame. I thought Fallon was helping with the Fayre – can’t she finish things off there and free you up?’
I was tempted to remind her I was standing here, too, but deliberately drawing attention to oneself when wearing floor-length gold sequins seems a little de trop , so I stayed quiet, waiting to see what Alexander would say. He didn’t know that I was seriously rethinking staying, after my conversation with Mum. Smart as ever, he stayed neutral and didn’t give anything away. It would be nice if I thought that was because he was hoping I would stay, but I suspect he was just using me as some kind of human shield against Annabel’s relentless advances.
‘I couldn’t possibly leave it all up to Fallon,’ he said. ‘Maybe next time. I’m so sorry, but I must go now, I have something important to do that can’t wait.’
He nipped off before she could stop him and, with a final disparaging glance in my direction, she also went, leaving me standing alone and wishing I had some more cheese. I wandered over to find some, and another drink, and came across Constance, tapping her foot as the band played ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’.
‘Hi there,’ I said. ‘Not dancing?’
‘I’m frankly torn between the dance floor and this food,’ she said, holding up her plate. ‘I can understand why you’re so successful if this is the sort of bash you usually put on. Top notch.’
‘Thank you. I can’t take any credit for the food, Estelle and Coco did everything, but I’m pleased with the band.’
‘Local lads, Alexander said? Excellent. They could probably even get some of my colleagues on the floor.’
I filled a plate, and we carried on chatting while we ate. We were just contemplating how many puddings we could sample without drawing attention to ourselves when Sam came over.
‘Is everything okay?’ I asked, immediately concerned, as always, that something had gone wrong.
‘With the party, yes,’ he said. ‘It’s going incredibly well, so maybe we should always plan things a week in advance rather than six months? Less time for problems. No, I just had a message from Alexander that something’s up with the Citro?n. He was sorry to drag you away from the party, but could you pop over and have a look?’
‘Now? Um…all right, I suppose I can go and see. Do you mind, Constance? We were about to have a dance,’ I added, for Sam’s sake.
‘Well, I’d love to dance,’ he said. ‘Everything’s going smoothly, so I think I can join you for a boogie, if you’d like to?’
‘Like to, young man? Just try and stop me!’ Constance boomed, dragging him off.
Grinning, I put down my glass and started weaving through the partygoers and out of the Great Hall. It wasn’t far to go, but the night was freezing, so I grabbed my coat and then headed over to the outbuildings, picking my way over the gravel in my heels and hoping I wouldn’t be long: partly because it was so cold and partly because I wasn’t sure how much time I wanted to spend alone with Alexander being polite and distant whilst resisting throwing my arms around him and admitting I’d made a horrible mistake.