Chapter 9
NINE
We were all waiting for Sofia when she arrived from the airport with Greg.
We didn’t want to overwhelm her, so only Astrid went out to greet her, then brought her through to the cosy living room where India had painted the advent calendar number.
As soon as she was ushered gently through the door by Astrid, my heart went out to her.
Slender and pale, with smudges under her eyes, she had the same thick chestnut hair as her uncle, but her eyes showed none of his brittle confidence, just terror.
Angela, doubtless feeling the same as me, immediately rushed forward.
‘Come and sit down, duck, and I’ll make you some hot chocolate. You must be exhausted after that flight and it’s getting so cold now. I make it for your great-grandmother all the time, so I’m something of an expert.’
‘That is very true,’ said Marilise. ‘I like mine with plenty of sugar, maybe you do, too?’
Sofia allowed herself to be sat down in a chair and managed a whispered ‘thank you’ when Angela put the mug in front of her.
‘Do you like horses?’ asked India, receiving a tiny nod in response. ‘Oh good, I’ll take you to meet Firefly – that’s my horse – later today or tomorrow. You’ll love him and he’ll love you, especially if you give him a carrot.’
‘I like dogs, too,’ said the little girl, glancing over at Steve, who was in his customary position beside the Aga. I watched as Nick’s face lit up. I was impressed when he spoke gently.
‘Well, that’s Steve, my dog, and when he’s not snoring in front of the stove, he’s great fun. Do you remember meeting him when you came here before?’
‘I think so,’ said Sofia. ‘He stole Mummy’s glove, and she was cross.’
Nick roared with laughter.
‘I’d forgotten that! Yes, my dear sister was deeply unimpressed. Steve thought she’d brought him a new toy. I’ve got to think of some things to put in his stocking for Christmas, so maybe you can help me?’
She nodded and a smile crept onto her face.
‘I’d like that.’
Seeing that she had already finished her hot chocolate, I took my turn in making her feel at home.
‘Hi, Sofia, it’s lovely to meet you. I’m Laura and I’m here to help Marilise. I’ve only been here for a day, so I’m still finding out where everything is. Maybe you and I can help each other settle in a bit?’
She turned her huge, frightened eyes towards me and again I saw that glimmer of a smile.
‘I’d like that. I know where the swimming pool is, but Mummy wouldn’t let me go in when we were here before.’
‘Well, this time you must,’ said Marilise. ‘I swim with Laura every single morning, and we would love you to join us.’
‘We would,’ I said. ‘I’ll make sure I call you tomorrow.
But for now, we’ve prepared a little welcome surprise for you.
’ I threw a questioning glance at India, who gave me a thumbs up.
I continued. ‘We decided it would be fun for all of us to have an advent calendar, one that we can start today, even though it’s not December yet.
And we would like you to discover what’s behind the first window. ’
She looked around and frowned, for a moment seeming to forget her fear and exhaustion.
‘Where is it?’
‘Ah, well, that’s the clever part. You’re in it.’
‘In it?’
‘That’s right. This Christmas we are going to make the whole of Lyonscroft into one great big advent calendar, with surprises for everyone behind the doors and windows. All you have to do today is find the number one.’
India stood up and reached for Sofia’s hand, then led her outside with me and Nick following. We all looked at the elegant front of the house, with several of its windows lit up, our eyes scanning for the poster.
‘There it is!’ shouted Sofia, her voice now full of excitement. She pointed to an upstairs window.
‘Well done,’ said India. ‘Now, you have to find the right room.’
The two girls ran back inside, with Nick and I jogging after them, up the stairs and round to the right, where Sofia’s surprise was waiting for her in her new bedroom.
Once inside the pretty room, she ran straight to the window and let out a little squeak when she saw the wrapped present there.
She reached for it, then drew her arm back.
‘Can I open it?’ she asked. ‘Or do I have to wait for Christmas?’
‘You don’t have to wait,’ I said. ‘This is a welcome present for you.’
She picked it up and carefully pulled open the paper. When it revealed the adorable stuffed reindeer, which was wearing a little red fluffy coat, she squealed with delight and hugged it to her.
‘Thank you!’ she said, holding it away to get a good look, then cuddling it again. ‘I love him.’
‘What do you think you’ll call him?’ asked Nick.
I looked over at him and, although he was smiling, his eyes held a strange expression. If I’d been pushed to name it, I might have said pensive, or even gone so far as sorrowful.
‘His name is Reddo,’ she said. ‘Because of his red coat.’
‘Good idea,’ said India. ‘Do you want to come to the stables now? We’ve got plenty of time.’
‘Yes, please,’ said Sofia. ‘Can Reddo come, too?’
‘Of course,’ said India, and they walked to the door. Suddenly, Sofia stopped and pointed to her suitcases.
‘Those are mine. Is this my room?’
‘That’s right,’ I said. ‘Do you like it?’
Astrid had been busy since we made up the bed, and now as well as a beautiful arrangement of winter greenery on the dresser, she had added a small pile of books on one bedside table and a stack of notebooks next to a large pot of different pens and pencils on the other.
‘I love it,’ said Sofia, reaching her hand out to touch the pretty duvet cover. ‘Mummy doesn’t have any colours in the house, other than boring grey and beige and white, even in my room. This room is just the sort of room I want.’
‘Well, it’s yours for all of Christmas,’ said Nick, and I could hear the emotion in his voice. ‘And whenever you want to come and visit again.’
The little girl’s face lit up and she hugged Reddo tightly.
‘Thank you.’
‘Come on,’ said India. ‘Firefly will be wondering where we are, and we have to get a carrot from the kitchen on the way.’
The two girls ran out, leaving Nick and me standing in the bedroom.
‘Poor little kid,’ he said. ‘I think she’s more of a nuisance to Victoria than anything, messes up her perfect life and colour scheme. I do not understand,’ he added fiercely, ‘why people insist on having children they don’t want.’
For a moment, I saw the sad little boy whose only function in life had been to inherit, rather than having been born to be loved and nurtured and enjoyed. I spoke carefully.
‘Maybe people don’t always realise what the reality of having a baby is, and that the baby will grow up.’
‘Or all they want is for the baby to grow up and stop being a bother.’
I had an inexplicable urge to reach out to this man, to hold him and tell him until he understood it that he was loved, very much so, by the people who lived in this house.
All he had to do was accept that love. But instead, I made a noncommittal noise and said, ‘I think Sofia feels happy here already. There’s not much you can do about her home life, but you can show her that she’s welcomed and wanted at Lyonscroft. ’
He looked at me sharply, then turned away to look out of the window, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. When he spoke, his voice shook with emotion.
‘And then she’ll leave, like everyone else. So, what’s the point?’
He was asking the wrong person. Hadn’t I decided, too, that the pain of loss outweighed the joy of love and that I was safer alone?
‘I don’t completely know,’ I said slowly, and he turned to look at me again, his face anxious. ‘But part of it is in the happiness you can bring someone else, as much as get for yourself, and in knowing that people carry that with them, even if you’re not there to see it.’
‘So, you’re saying I’m selfish?’
Maybe a touch self-absorbed, I thought, but I wasn’t going to say that after two days in this man’s employment.
‘I didn’t mean that,’ I replied. ‘Just trying to help. Anyway, I’d better go and find Marilise.’
For a second, I could have sworn that he pouted, then the smooth, bland expression I had seen before wiped all emotion from his face.
‘See you later.’
I ran back downstairs, knowing Marilise was looking forward to hearing all about Sofia’s reaction to the present, and determined to push thoughts of the guarded, wounded Nick from my mind.
The next day, when it was time to take Marilise for a swim, I called Sofia as I had promised. As the three of us splashed about, she chatted about Reddo and Steve and Firefly, and I was glad to see her so much happier already.
‘I like swimming, too,’ she said. ‘But not on my back. I won’t be able to come with you again until the weekend, though, because I’ve got to go to school tomorrow.’
‘Why aren’t you there today?’ I asked, having completely forgotten about the arrangement.
‘They thought I needed a day to get over the jetlag,’ she replied, then she lowered her voice conspiratorially. ‘I don’t, I feel fine, but I didn’t say.’ Her eyes darted between me and Marilise and a note of worry entered her voice. ‘You won’t, will you? Say anything?’
‘Of course not!’ said Marilise. ‘I think it is sensible, anyway, to have one full day to settle in, do you not agree, Laura?’
I nodded solemnly.
‘I certainly do. No need to rush these things.’
I was about to ask her who she thought we should do the second advent calendar window for, when, before I could properly understand what was happening, Steve dashed into the room barking madly and hurled himself gleefully into the water.
All three of us screamed. Sofia, near the side, clutched onto it, and I went straight over to Marilise.
Steve doggy paddled around, his tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth and giving him the most comical expression of delight.
Confident that Marilise was all right, I started wading over to the dog, who was having none of it.