Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
The next few days passed blissfully. Everyone was upbeat, enjoying the decorations so sparkly and colourful they could probably have been seen from space and beginning to sneak wrapped presents under the tree.
Sofia was enjoying school and had been quick to make friends.
She hero-worshipped India, who had shown her extreme kindness, even ceasing to complain about the Christmas show they were both involved with, and which Sofia loved being in.
‘I got my snowflake costume today,’ she told Marilise and me one afternoon when she got home from school and we were playing cards downstairs, sitting by the window so that we could enjoy the snow without having to go outside.
‘It’s so pretty. Virginia’s mummy made them, it’s got a sort of sticky out net skirt, which is light blue, no…
’ she corrected herself. ‘It’s turquoise, that’s what Virginia said was the right word.
Anyway, it’s got lots of silver sequins, and we wear a white leotard and have ribbons for our hair and around our wrists. ’
She beamed at us and we both beamed back, enchanted by this delightful child, so changed from when she had first arrived at Lyonscroft.
‘There’s one thing,’ she said, a shadow of worry crossing her face. ‘Mrs Bradley said that someone needs to bring us and help us get ready before the show. She said our mummy or daddy or nanny, but I don’t have any of those here.’
I glanced at Marilise, whose face was the picture of compassion. She reached out her hand and grasped Sofia’s.
‘But you do not need to worry about that, my cherub,’ she said, with the tiniest flicker of emotion in her voice, which she quickly overcame.
‘When I was a child, at the palace, my parents were often not able to be with my sister or me, and many different people would look after us. It could feel a little sad at times, but we knew our parents loved us and we remembered our royal blood; that running through our veins was the ability to be wonderful, no matter what, to enjoy ourselves, to bring pleasure to others, to be honest and brave. You have this same blood, you know, and you also have people here who love you and care about you. They will all want to accompany you to school and help you into your beautiful costume, and we will all be thrilled by your performance.’
She sat back, tired after this long speech, and I looked at Sofia, not sure how much she would have absorbed. But a smile crept onto her face, and I saw her sit up straighter than before.
‘Mrs Bradley doesn’t know about my royal blood,’ she said. ‘If she minds that it’s not a mummy or daddy or nanny, then I shall tell her about it.’
‘Quite right,’ I said, grinning. ‘But I’m sure she won’t mind. Astrid will be very glad to take you, or I can?’
I cast a questioning glance at Marilise, who nodded.
‘Indeed. I think that would be a very good idea, if you are happy with it, Sofia?’
The little girl looked at me shyly and nodded.
‘Yes, please. You’re very good at doing hair.’
I knew why Marilise had preferred me over Astrid to help Sofia.
Amidst all the happiness and festive cheer, Astrid was the only person who was unhappy, although she did her best to hide it.
Philip had still not put in an appearance, and I know he had been expected by now.
I asked Nick about it one evening when we took Steve out for his nighttime walk, something we had taken to doing together.
I looked forward to this short time together all day and, although part of me would have liked to speed things up, I could appreciate that the enforced slowness of the progression of our relationship was for the best. I still thought about Paulo every day, but the pain was softening into a glow, and I was more readily remembering the happy times and accepting that he would be glad to see me moving forward.
I had not mentioned anything to my family as, if they had anything to do with it, the minute I was out of the peach satin, I would be into white tulle, and I definitely wasn’t ready for that.
‘Has Astrid said anything to you about Philip?’ I asked, grabbing Steve’s collar as his shoulder dipped in a way I had come to recognise meant he was about to roll in something smelly.
‘No,’ he replied. ‘And I haven’t wanted to ask, but she’s so unhappy. Do you think there’s anything we can do?’
I shook my head.
‘I think the only thing is to be there for her, as and when she needs us.’
Nick stopped walking and turned towards me, taking both my gloved hands in his.
‘Us,’ he repeated. ‘I like that.’
He bent his head and kissed me gently, then pulled away, grinning.
‘Until now, “us” has always meant me and Steve – I assume you have included him?’
‘Of course,’ I said. ‘And Steve wouldn’t be left out even if I tried.’
As if in answer to this, the big dog lolloped over and pushed his head between us, demanding to be stroked.
‘There are three of us in this relationship,’ quipped Nick. ‘But it seems to be working fine.’
A couple of mornings later, I was chatting to Marilise over breakfast in her room. It was the charity concert that evening and I wanted to check that everything was in place for Angela to help in my absence. But, predictably, Marilise didn’t want to talk about logistics.
‘It will all be fine,’ she said, waving me away.
‘Angela has looked after me for a long time, she knows what to do and can cope with the little extras.’ The ‘little extras’ involved some new medication and changes to Marilise’s evening care routine, but although I didn’t like handing my responsibilities over, I knew that Angela would handle everything beautifully.
‘Tell me instead about what you are going to wear this evening.’
‘I have the dress I wore to the party at your neighbours, the Westmans,’ I said. ‘I had it cleaned, so it’s ready to go.’
‘I see.’
I had got to know Marilise well over the weeks we had spent together, and I could tell she had more to say.
‘Don’t you think it would be suitable?’ I asked.
‘Well, my dear, it is a very nice dress…’ Nice, I thought, being the death knell for my outfit.
‘But I think this is the perfect occasion for something a little more spectacular. After all’ – she shot me a prize-winning side eye – ‘you are trying to convince them, are you not, that you and Nick are a couple? They must be stunned, not underwhelmed.’
Outmanoeuvred, I laughed.
‘True. But what do you suggest? I don’t have time to get something now.’
‘No, but I have some dresses tucked away that I think would be suitable.’ I opened my mouth to protest that we were totally different body shapes, but she pre-empted me.
‘They are not all mine, some belonged to my mother and some to my sister, and I am convinced there will be something perfect. Now, when you went to the attic to look for the Christmas decorations, did you see a large armoire?’ I nodded.
‘Good. There is one dress in there I have in mind for you – it is dark green with exquisite beading. See if you can find that.’
I took our breakfast things down to the kitchen, then went straight up to the attic, heading for the end room where Nick and I had found the tea chests full of decorations.
It felt a little spooky up there on my own, but I hummed Christmas songs under my breath for courage and felt glad that I had remembered to wear a cosy cardigan against the chill.
As I had recalled, there was a large armoire with elegantly carved scrolls above the doors and large ball feet.
The mirror on one of the doors was badly foxed, but I could see a hazy reflection of myself as I turned the small brass key and opened the doors to reveal at least twenty clothes bags hanging neatly on the rail.
Shifting slightly so that I could use the weak light of the single bulb, I gently pushed the bags aside and unzipped the first a little.
This revealed a dress in champagne silk.
I longed to get it out and look at it properly, but imagined Marilise sitting downstairs, waiting impatiently for me to return for my Cinderella moment, and moved on to the next bag.
In this was a pale blue dress with a floaty chiffon neckline, which I tucked in carefully as I did the zip back up.
I continued along the bags, revealing beautiful fabrics in a rainbow of colours before finding one that was as Marilise had described.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about potentially borrowing this item which, as well as no doubt being very expensive, was far more glamorous than anything I had ever worn.
I lifted it carefully off the rail before locking the doors again and heading back downstairs.
‘Is this it?’ I asked, showing her the top part of the dress that I had revealed.
‘Ah yes, good, that is the one,’ she said, sounding pleased. ‘Take it out of the bag.’
Carefully, I extracted the dress. It was a deep emerald green with two layers, the first of a heavy silk and the second, top layer, of chiffon, hand beaded all over with an intricate flower pattern that glinted in the light.
‘Marilise, it’s spectacular,’ I said. ‘Are you sure you want to lend it to me?’
‘Of course I am sure, I would like nothing more. And you are not to worry about it. This dress is beautiful, yes, but it is of more use having champagne being spilt down it or catching on a beau’s watch as he puts his arms around you than it is sitting patiently unworn in the attic as it has already done for so many years. Try it on!’
I hesitated.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘I’m not sure,’ I said, biting my lip. ‘I don’t think it’s really me. I’m not sure how comfortable I’d be in a dress like this.’
‘You do not think you merit such a garment?’ asked Marilise, her voice soft but her eyes looking at me closely.
‘It’s not that, exactly,’ I said feebly. ‘But dresses like this are made for princesses, not nurses. I don’t want to look odd, like a child wearing her mother’s high heels.’