Chapter 5 - Blake
What was I thinking? Touching her? Who do I think I am? I'm clearly too tired to think straight and keep myself in check.
She looked terrified, as though she wanted to run away from me.
Of course, she’s terrified. She's laying down next to a guy who's her teacher, fifteen years older than her, in a gym she can't get out of. Of course, she'd be terrified of someone grabbing her.
The thought of making her feel unsafe around me claws into my lungs, making it hard to breathe.
But with my back turned, it's easier to think. To calm down. When we learned we were locked in, I focused on the tasks: find gym mattresses, get something that would function as blankets, but now we're still, so close to each other, my control is slowly slipping away.
I wanted to touch her, so I did.
Maybe if I stay still like this my body will figure out that it needs to sleep and stop thinking about the woman next to me, who causes a very uncomfortable erection along with these complicated feelings.
Poppy has a business. Of course she has. Despite the delay in delivering her assignments, she always has interesting takes on my class when we're discussing a more controversial topic. Now I can see why, she has real-life experience to give that nuance that younger people don't always have.
"Blake."
I don't like that she's no longer treating me with a title, it's dangerous the way I want to hear my name on her lips, nothing between us.
But I didn't have a choice, did I? I couldn't say no.
Not to her. Not when she's stuck here with me.
I already think it's unfair to her that she has to spend the night with me, not knowing how I want to drive my cock into her, over her, everywhere.
We're too close. Too fucking close. I don't want to share a classroom with her, so why would I want to share a gym mattress? It's wrong to want her this way.
I stay still, faking sleep. But it's like she knows it takes me a few minutes to fall asleep, that I wouldn't fall asleep just like that.
"I didn't get to ask you a question."
I hold my breath and turn around.
"Yes?"
Her eyes are set on mine, an uncertainty mixed with boldness in them. Like her question might rip me apart. Perhaps it will.
"Do you think I'm pretty?"
It does.
"What? What kind of question is that?"
"I'm just wondering." A blush appears on her cheeks.
"Anyone with eyes would think you're pretty, Poppy."
She hums.
She fucking hums, like she wants to hear that from me.
"But what do you think?"
"I think you're beautiful."
Her eyebrows shoot up, her whole face turning red with my words. She opens her mouth and closes it immediately after.
Would it be so bad to give in?
Yes.
She's your student.
Not anymore. Apart from a pesky assignment. That hardly counts.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” she whispers.
If only she knew. If only she knew how much I've been holding back, knowing the wrongness of my feelings for her.
"I'm dead serious." I should tell her she's the ugliest woman I've ever seen, that it sickens me to be next to her. But I can't. Not when I see her expression, I like her confidence, the way I see her around everyone else. I want to elevate this woman, not allow her to doubt herself.
And it's that feeling that brings me closer. Or maybe it's just selfish pure greed. To want her, to have her all to myself, to keep her in this gym with me forever.
Her lower lip trembles as I get close enough to feel her breath on my cheek. There's no going back from this.
“Poppy…” My voice breaks on her name. “Tell me to stop.”
She doesn't. Her eyes keep traveling back and forth from my mouth to my eyes. That's when I realize a part of her wants this too. It undoes me, it breaks the last string of control I was holding on so desperately to.
My hands cup her jaw gently, I'm going to break her I'm sure. She doesn't look terrified like before, she doesn't pull back, there’s only a single air of space between us.
"Please tell me to stop," I whisper this time right before I reach her lips.
She doesn't.
And I take what's mine. Or maybe it's the other way around.
I'm hers, in every shape of form, and she's taking me.
Her lips on mine. Poppy's lips are pure perfection.
Hungrier than I anticipated, demanding more than I'm giving her.
So I oblige, because how can I not? I pull her towards me, as my lips graze hers, savoring her and when she pulls back slightly, a tiny moan slipping out, I crash against her, not remembering how it feels to have any sense of control over my body, making her part her lips so I can truly taste her.
A remnant of the burgers and fries mixed with her cinnamon perfume, one that I'm sure she deliberately chose for this season.
When she pulls back again, I let her, letting my beard and lips graze on her neck as she lets out small incoherent sounds that just make my cock harder.
When the ability to formulate words returns, I stop, allowing myself to check for any regret in her eyes.
I exhale when I don't see any.
"You're beautiful, Poppy. We shouldn't do this."
She bites her bottom lip.
"Did I do anything wrong? Did you not like it?"
"Fuck Poppy, of course I did. You're perfect. That's why we shouldn't do this. You should involve yourself with someone your age."
"There isn't anyone around, is there?" I like the boldness in her, it's something I've only picked up on today but I swear it just makes me want her more.
Her question does help clarify how she feels about all this.
For her I'm just someone who's nearby. A man she feels attracted to. There's no agenda, there are no feelings. I, on the other hand, know I’ve never felt this way about anyone, not until now and I won’t, not ever again.
But this is good. I can be that for her.
I don't have to push my feelings on her.
Yes, it could get me fired if anyone knew what me and a student were doing but it's not something that's going to leave this place.
It's just going to make this Christmas the best Christmas of my entire life.
And that's good enough for me.
"No, there isn't."