Chapter 23
WILLOW
The next morning, Jamie and I walk into the office to find it flooded with flowers, so many beautiful flowers: bouquets of red roses with sprigs of lily-of-the-valley sprinkled here and there; lilies and gorgeous freesias in decorative baskets; and potted dahlia and chrysanthemum arrangements that fill the room with a complex yet remarkably delicate blend of fragrances.
“Oh, my days,” Jamie gasps. He goes in first, his eyes round and big as he tries to take it all in.
I’m breathless, but I already know who they’re from. I spot the note on my desk before him.
“When the guy at the reception desk downstairs said he let the florist delivery guy in, I thought he meant the florist delivery guy who was supposed to bring us the bride’s bouquet samples, not this. What is this?” Jamie croaks.
“It’s Cole, Asher, and Toby asking me out on a dinner date,” I reply and give him the note to read for himself.
My heart flutters with excitement. Their persistence may finally pay off. Most guys would have just given up, or worse, they’d show up at my doorstep. But the Morgan brothers have kept a respectful distance, and I know it hasn’t been easy for them.
Every night, I fall asleep thinking about them, with one hand between my legs, imagining I’m back at Cole’s penthouse, tangled with them in bed.
Every morning, I wake up with a pang of sadness in my chest, their strong arms nowhere to be found.
Tearing up, I sit behind my desk as Jamie finishes reading the note.
“Girl…”
“What?” I sigh deeply.
“How much longer are you going to torture yourself like this?”
“Torture might be too strong a word,” I say with a quiet giggle, but I’m not really laughing, and Jamie knows it.
He motions at the sea of flowers around us. “Look at this.”
“I kind of have to; they’re everywhere.”
“My point exactly. Most girls only dream of such grand gestures. You actually get it. Most girls only dream of a real man. You’ve got three of them, who are more than willing and happy to spoil you rotten. What are you so afraid of?”
That’s the real question, isn’t it? What am I so afraid of? Finding out about Sheila and Cole was the perfect reason for me to walk out of a relationship that most girls would never even dream of.
But I was there. I felt it. I saw what it could be like, and it scared me because I’ve been in a comfort zone of my own. Except it’s not real comfort, it’s just something I was used to: always being out of happiness’s reach.
“I was never really happy with Terrence,” I admit. “I thought I was, but I just wanted to feel chosen, and he made me feel chosen, so I hung on tight. I accepted the breadcrumbs, the bad behavior, his insanely toxic mother.”
“Oh, Will.”
“It’s true, and I got used to it, to not really having what I truly wanted.
But then what I truly wanted came to me in triplicate, and I didn’t know what to do with that.
I took it, I sank in it, and I was happy.
Oh, Jamie, I was so happy. It was just too good to be true.
I kept waiting for something to go wrong. ”
His shoulders drop as he gives me a pained look. “Then you found out about Sheila.”
“And I walked away. It was the other shoe that I knew would drop. It was my cue to go back to being out of happiness’s reach, I guess.
You’re right, Jamie, I am afraid of something.
I’m afraid that if I let the Morgan brothers in, I’ll be so happy I won’t know what to do if I lose them for good.
Being pregnant sure isn’t helping either, because now I’m terrified they’ll want to be a part of my life strictly because of the baby. ”
“That’s not true,” he says. “You know that, right?”
I nod slowly. “But it doesn’t stop these feelings from messing with my head, with my resolve. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones? I don’t know. What I do know is that you’re right. Cole, Asher, Toby, and I belong together. I just have no idea how to say it to them.”
“You just said it.”
“Have you seen those guys?” I laugh bitterly. “Tall as oaks, fierce businessmen, lions with shares of their own, then there’s me: plump, self-made, little me.”
“Oh, honey, you are that and so much more in their eyes, as evidenced by every single frickin’ flower currently crammed into our office.”
This time, I laugh wholeheartedly. Leave it to Jamie to take the edge off and the seriousness out of my darkest thoughts. I’ve been overthinking everything. I should take a page from his book and just roll with the punches.