Chapter Nine
Jorja
“N O, SERIOUSLY, YOU have to read it,” I protested, laughing, as he looked at me with an incredulous look on his face.
“I just don’t really do comic books,” he replied.
“It’s not a comic book, it’s a graphic novel,” I corrected him. We had been chatting about books as he drove me home from dinner, and I was in the process of trying to convince him to read a wonderful graphic novel memoir I had devoured over the course of a single afternoon in summer of last year. He seemed skeptical, but I was pretty sure I was starting to get through to him, though slowly.
“I’ll give you a free copy, on the house,” I replied. “And you’re going to love it. Trust me.”
“I trust your taste,” he remarked. “But if I end up spending hundreds of dollars on filling out a whole collection of graphic novels, that’s on you, okay?”
“You could save the store out of your own wallet,” I shot back, and he laughed. I had started to relax after Wharton had confronted me like that at dinner. I should have known there was nowhere in this town I could go where he wouldn’t be trying to stick his nose in. But, as much as I would have liked to keep the details of my money troubles to myself, there was a relief in being open with Seth about what was really going on with me, not trying to hide out from the reality of the mess I currently found myself in. At least he would understand how serious it was for me to pull off this book fair now, and, if anything, he seemed even more certain about his choice to help me out now that he’d discovered what was really going on.
He opened the car door for me and walked me to the porch of my grandma’s house. The light flicked on above us, bathing the two of us in the warm glow.
“It was really nice having dinner with you tonight,” he told me, slipping his hands into his pockets. My breath hitched at the back of my throat. Even though I had known we were going to end up back here at the end of the night, being faced all of a sudden with that sweet smile was making it hard for me to think straight.
“Yeah, it was,” I replied, my voice a little higher than it normally was. I had been doing so well in keeping my nerves under wraps all this time, but they were busting their way to the surface, whether I liked it or not. My toes curled in my shoes, which were already starting to pinch, though I could barely pay attention to that right now.
“We should get together again soon, talk about the book fair,” he continued. “Or... whatever.”
His eyes drifted down to my mouth for a moment. Electricity coursed around me, and I felt like I might have been able to lift right out of my shoes if I kept staring at him like this. The warmth in the air between us, the sight of our breath mingling in small, soft puffs of steam, I knew it would just take a single motion, and I would be able to...
But no. This was supposed to be strictly business, right? And I was going to keep it as that. Business. I didn’t want to go back on what I had said to him, especially when we had only just met. What would he think of me, if I just turned around and changed my mind, went in for the kiss after I had been so firm about this just being something we did to talk about this.
“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” he remarked. Dammit! The moment was gone. If there ever was going to be a kiss, and I wasn’t even certain of that, I had lost it with my overthinking.
“See you,” I replied, and he paused for one more moment before, finally, he turned to head back to his car. I watched as he went, and noticed, at least, that he was smiling. That had to count for something, didn’t it? It meant that he didn’t think tonight had been a total waste of time, even though I felt like I had been totally awkward.
I slipped inside as he pulled the car away, to find Mia butting at my legs again, insisting on being fed.
“I know, I know,” I murmured, as I poured some food into her bowl. “How dare I go out for dinner and not bring you anything back?”
Mia meowed impatiently, and then tucked in to her food as I leaned in the window and stared out where he had just left. I didn’t know where he was staying, but I hoped he got back okay. I could still see, all too clearly in my mind’s eye, how he had looked at me, the way he had gazed at me like he wanted nothing more than to lean in and plant his lips against mine.
Or perhaps I had just been imagining that. It had been so long since a man had shown that kind of interest in me, I didn’t even know how to parse it. Was he into me, or had he dropped all of that when I had told him that this was going to be nothing more than business? I couldn’t tell.
I made my way upstairs to take off my makeup and change into something a little more comfortable. I knew I had to be up early to open the store tomorrow, but my mind was racing, and I didn’t know if I would be able to get any sleep. Not just because I was thinking about what we were going to be doing with the fair, no, it was more than that. It was him, all up in my head, filling my thoughts in a way I knew was dangerous.
In the kitchen, I stood over the stove and set to work making myself a hot chocolate, hoping the soothing drink would be enough to get me some rest tonight. That and a book, that would usually have me passed out in an hour or so, but I hadn’t been in a situation like this... well, ever, if I was being honest.
I sank into my usual chair, picked up the book I was reading, and flipped it open to the point where I had left off. But, even as I tried to focus, I kept having to read the same paragraph over and over again. I just couldn’t clear my head enough to get into the prose.
The dinner with Seth, it was playing on my mind, my brain going over every little detail and interrogating them to try and figure out what he thought of me and how he felt about me. Did he think I was hopelessly awkward and weird, and he had no intention of seeing me again? I doubted it could have been that, not with the way he had looked at me, the way he had chatted to me all night long. He hadn’t seemed like he was trying to get out of spending time with me. Would he have lingered at my front door if he didn’t like me?
But, in truth, I knew I had bigger things to worry about. Bigger things, like Wharton, who had been such an asshole to interrupt my evening like that. Had he known I would be there? I couldn’t see how, but I wouldn’t put it past him. Maybe there was someone working in the restaurant who owed him something too, and he’d told them to keep an eye out for me, just so I didn’t get too comfortable.
A week. That was all I had, a week. It didn’t seem like enough time. Sure, this book fair might help, but I couldn’t guarantee it. He said he worked in event planning, but—
Wait a second. Was that all I knew about this guy? My eyes widened as I wracked my brain, trying to remember the conversation we’d had this evening. He had asked me about my family, and then, we had wound up talking about the book fair before the conversation had drifted to novels we enjoyed. I hardly knew anything about him! How could I have been so selfish, letting the conversation stick on me for so long?
I made a vow to myself right then and there that, if we did end up spending more time together, I would go out of my way to make sure that I asked him some questions about himself. I didn’t really know how he had wound up here from the West Coast in the first place, and it was quite a jump, to land somewhere like Mastin Falls.
Though I doubted he would be interested in seeing me again, given how self-centered I had been. He was probably glad to be done with me, waiting out the rest of this book fair so he could move on and meet someone who actually asked about him.
I sipped on my hot chocolate as I stared out of the window. There was a light dusting of snow from a little fall earlier in the day, and it made me think of my grandma. Snow always did. She adored the snow, because it made her feel Christmassy, like the season was upon us—and yes, that always went for when it snowed in the middle of February, too.
“It doesn’t matter what time of year it is,” she had told me once, when I had been teasing her about getting misty-eyed over the snow when it was far from Christmas. “You have to celebrate everything you can. Any chance you get. The little things, they matter, sweetheart.”
I knew she was right, even now. Even though things had been touch lately, there was still a part of me that wanted to believe in the magic of Christmas—the power of it to change things, even when they felt impossible. I had no idea how everything was going to turn out, but maybe if I just put a little faith in the universe it, would steer me in the right direction.
I felt a pang as it hit me that this might be one of the last Christmases I got in my grandma’s house. If this book fair thing didn’t come together, then I would have to give this place up. There was no way in hell I would be selling the store, not to Wharton, not to anyone. I didn’t care what I had to give up to keep it, I would do it.
I felt my eyes starting to get heavy, even though my brain was still running a mile a minute. I needed some rest. We were going to have to start planning the book fair tomorrow, and that meant dealing with a lot of people and a lot of paperwork to make it happen. Not exactly my forte, but I would do whatever it took to boost sales and ensure that the place stayed ticking over with customers and profit.
Mia followed me into the kitchen as I washed up, and jumped up on to the windowsill to watch me.
“You want to pull your weight around here for a change?” I told her, as I dried off my hands. “You can start with the dishes.”
She hit me with a heavy-lidded look of incredulity, and then leapt off the counter and headed to the stairs, leading me to the bedroom. She was ready to curl up and get some rest, and I knew I should take her cue.
I made my way up the stairs behind her, skimming my hand over the banister like I had done a million times before already. I felt a pang in my chest, wondering how many more times I would be able to do this before this place slipped through my fingers. I had spent so much of my life here, it seemed impossible to imagine existing outside of it, doing something so different, so far-removed from what I had known.
But perhaps it was time I jumped into something I could never have imagined before. Something completely fresh and new. What I had been sticking with all this time hadn’t worked, had it?
The stage was set for something fresh. And I had to pray it was going to be enough to save the store.