Chapter 15 #2
She shook her head. "No, it won't. All the boys in this family look alike.
It's uncanny." She studied the sparse dark hair and creamy skin.
Their eyes were closed, but when opened, it had a curious golden look that might turn a light green, or so they were told.
They had the shape of their dad's face along with his determined chin.
And they were growing. Somehow, her milk had started flowing. Along with a gentle formula, she was breastfeeding her babies. They had also been told that in the case of preemies especially, the breast milk tended to hasten the healing process and growth patterns.
She wanted them as healthy as possible.
They went in to see to their daughter who was also fast asleep.
"She gained a pound," Leanne whispered. She too had the look of her brothers, with the sparse dark hair and eyes a cross between green and gold.
A very curious combination. Leanne liked to think that her daughter had at least inherited the shape of her nose.
Pulling her closer, Christos rubbed his hands up and down her arm.
"We should go back down."
"Just a few more minutes."
She stood there looking at the little miracle and felt the lump settling inside her throat. "All right, I'm ready."
*****
"What're you doing?" she asked curiously after he was in the bathroom for several minutes.
"Drawing you a bath. You must be exhausted."
The party had broken up after ten, during which, every member of the family had taken turns holding or touching the new members of the family.
"More like sleepy," she called out.
He came back in, the scent of raspberry and vanilla filtering out.
"Ready?"
"You didn't have to do that." Taking his hand, she eased out of the chair with only a slight grimace of pain. She was hopeful that by next week she would be fully healed and able to walk without assistance or the shooting pain from the incision.
"Should I fetch you something for the pain?"
"No. It's bearable." She noticed with delight that the bath was steaming and fragrant.
"Thanks."
"My pleasure."
She started to take off her clothes when he stopped her. "Turn around."
Puzzled, she did just that, and he removed her wraparound dress from behind. She was still carrying the baby weight and was anxious to get rid of it. Lori and the others had already given her an idea how to go about it, and she could not wait to start. She was dying to feel like herself again.
When she was naked, he took her hand and helped her into the claw footed bath that could easily hold six people.
"Aren't you going to join me?" She sank down and sighed as the water lapped around her.
"I'm going to check on the babies and ensure that the monitors are on." He spared her a glance. "Besides, this is for you. Want some tea?"
"No. A glass of wine would do the trick." She grinned at his expression. "Just kidding, mostly."
"I'll be right back." He left, closing the door behind him.
Dipping her hands in the water, she made circles in the suds and tried to convince herself that something was not off.
He was attentive enough, that much was evident.
He took care of her and had been working remotely since she was in the hospital.
He made sure that she ate properly and was very attentive and aware of her needs.
She couldn't make a step without him watching to make sure she was not overdoing it. He touched her, but it was as if he was touching a relative, not his wife. She knew how she looked. Carrying three babies inside her was bound to increase her weight. Her tummy was still big.
The doctors told her that with the breastfeeding and exercises, when she was strong enough and not in so much discomfort, it would soon change.
Or she was being paranoid, she mused. Her husband was a virile and handsome man who created a lot of stir and interest whenever they were out in public.
But she was his wife, she was the one wearing his ring and bearing his name.
She was the one who had given him children. He loved her. He showed her constantly.
He had not been out much, well except for the meeting he claimed he had gone to yesterday afternoon. But what if it wasn't a meeting? Picking up the sponge, she started soaping herself up. What if he had started seeing someone else?
She worried her bottom lip and felt the anxiety starting.
He loved sex and they had been very active even up to a few days before she had to go to the hospital.
This week made it a total of two weeks and several days since they hadn't been together physically.
He still slept with his arms around her every night.
Usually, he would be nuzzling her neck or kissing her, deep drugging kisses, but so far, nothing. Just a peck on the cheek or forehead.
When he pushed the door open, she forced away the troubling thoughts and decided to test her suspicions.
"They're all knocked out for the night. Ready?"
"Yes. The water is getting lukewarm." She started to push up when he went behind her to help.
"Let me get the towel." Reaching for the fluffy ones on top of the cabinet, he unfolded one and wrapped it around her from neck to knees before helping her out. Taking her hand, he guided her into the bedroom and proceeded in rubbing her from behind.
"You do the front. I'll get the nightgown."
She no longer had any doubt. Her husband was no longer attracted to her. The pain of it almost doubled her over.
But she had to hear it from his lips. He owed her that.
Taking the open fronted nightgown from him, she slipped into it and let herself be guided towards the bed.
"I have some things that need to be dealt with. I'll be in the office. Get some sleep."
"No." Pressing her lips together, she eased up on the mound of pillows. "We need to talk."
"About?"
"Have a seat." She patted the space at her hip and waited until he had sat down. "We promised to be honest with each other, no matter what."
"We did. What's this about?"
"You're being far from honest."
His frown deepened. "What do you mean?"
She squared her shoulders and met his gaze. "I deserve to know if you no longer want me."
His eyes narrowed on her face. "What the hell do you mean?"
"If you no longer want me, be man enough to say it to my damn face."
He straightened slowly, a closed look on his face. "I'm going to take into consideration the trauma you've been through and try and ignore that sentence."
"Please don't bother about sparing my feelings." Her eyes flashed. "I'm your wife, the mother of your children and I deserve the damn truth! You don't touch me."
"I just bloody touched you, just now."
"Like I'm your patient or one of your relatives. If you're cheating on me."
"You think I'm cheating on you?" His incredulous tone had her easing back a little.
"What else am I supposed to think?" she demanded. "You barely look at me. I know I might not look my best, but there's a reason for that. I just had three babies at the same time. Three! If you cannot understand that."
"You think I no longer want you?" He rose slowly, anger kindling. "After all I've done to show you that you're the only woman for me. You think."
"What else am I supposed to think? You won't even look at me. I know I have a paunch."
"I watched them cut you open!" The explosive sentence had her jolting.
"They sliced your flesh open and there was all that blood.
So much frigging blood that I became sick to my stomach.
Before that, I heard your screams while we were on our way to the hospital.
" He spun away and went straight to the recessed cabinet.
Jabbing on the button, he grabbed the first bottle and uncapped it. She watched in shock as he tilted it to his lips and drank.
Turning back to her, he stared at her, eyes glittering. "I almost lost you. I sat in that room and wondered if I was going to lose my wife. How the hell could you think that it was all for nothing?"
"Christos."
"No, damn you! I cannot bear the thought of how they bruised your skin.
It was my fault. I did this to you. You never asked for any of it.
It came from my family! Mine!" He thumped a fist on his chest. "I'm trying to do everything I can to repay you, to make it up to you and it's bloody well not enough. It will never be."
For a minute, she just sat there shaken. Here she was thinking he had lost interest in her when all along, he was just carrying an awful amount of guilt.
Stretching out a hand, she wondered frantically how she could make it right.
"Can you come here, please?"
"I can't."
"Please." She saw the struggle on his face as he wondered if he should ignore her. When he came forward and took her hand, she sighed in relief, her long fingers grasping his.
"I have no regrets," she began quietly, her expression sincere. "I love you, darling, and those babies are miracles that I will treasure every day of my life. I had doubts that I would ever be a good mother, but you've shown me different." Lifting her hand, she used them to frame his beloved face.
"I apologize for thinking that you'd lost interest. Chalk it down to insecurities about my figure. I don't ever want you feeling guilt over me carrying our babies. That would kill me. Am I clear?"
Leaning forward, he rested his forehead on hers and took a deep breath. "I love you," he whispered gruffly. "That will never change, no matter what."
"Then come to bed and hold me. I need that more than anything else right now."
He did so immediately, arms wrapping around her possessively.