Chapter Seventeen #2
Aurelia finishes washing my hair in silence.
Once it’s conditioned, she towels it damp and then we move over to the table where she sprays some of her heat protectant on my hair and then grabs the blow dryer.
She begins working to dry my hair completely, and we don’t speak again until she shuts it off. “Have you ever seen him split?”
“A few times.” They weren’t pleasant memories, and like Zeke, I’m not wild about reaching for them.
“Can you always tell?” she prods as she parts my hair with the tail of the fine-tooth comb. “What are the signs I should look for?”
“The slight variation in his voice and demeanor are the biggest tells, but by then it’s already too late. The alter has fully taken over. I’m guessing that’s not what you’re asking.”
“No.”
“It’s almost like a reset button,” I explain. “Once triggered, he stops moving and reacting to stimuli because his mind is shutting down for a reboot. It all takes place within a few seconds, so if you’re not aware of what’s happening, it’s really easy to dismiss.”
“You make him sound like a robot.”
“In some ways, he is. He has to be. Zeke went through every emotion while trapped in that fucking cult, and you better believe his brother used them all against him, so—”
“So he’s in constant pain.”
“Zeke doesn’t always trust what he feels, and when he does, he’s afraid of how it will be used against him. Sometimes, the best thing he can do is shut it all off.”
“But he doesn’t come back when he does.”
Not caring about my hair when I’m assaulted with the sadness in my girl’s voice, I pull her around and into my lap. “He always comes back, Goldilocks. Just not right away.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to see Seth again. I do. I love him. It’s just that…I feel like shit wanting that when I know it means hurting Zeke.” She groans and hides her face again. “I thought loving multiple men who all know about each other was complicated.”
I smile a little. “But it has nothing on being in love with a man with multiple identities.” I rub Aurelia’s back while she takes deep breaths. “Do you have feelings for Zeke, baby? Is that it?”
With her face still hidden, she shakes her head. A moment later, her shoulders tremble and she nods.
“It’s okay to love them both.”
Aurelia finally drops her hands. “But impossible to be with them both, right? Think about it. How does that even work?”
“I think this is something you need to talk to Zeke about.” Before she can protest, I add, “When you’re ready.
” Her lips snap closed. “Right now, I want you to tell me the real reason you’re asking me about him.
” I make sure to push some firmness into my tone to make it clear I’m not letting her slide without an answer.
“When Zeke and I were on our run, something happened,” she finally tells me. “Something that’s happened before, but it felt different this time.”
“What happened, baby?”
“I, uh…I sort of goaded Zeke into admitting he wanted to kiss me, and then he almost did and I panicked, so I stopped him.”
“Seems…” I almost say mean, but then I think better of it and choose another word. “Wise. Why would you do that?”
“I don’t know,” she whines. “Because I wanted him to kiss me and then I didn’t?”
“What changed?”
“I guess I wasn’t ready either. I just hated not knowing. Some days, he barely tolerates me, and others he watches me like he…wants…me.”
There’s no question of that, but it’s not for me to speak on another man’s heart and dick, so I decide to move on to more pressing matters. “You said this happened before?”
“Not that part. When Zeke almost kissed me and I denied him, he wasn’t himself.”
My chest is tight and my voice is strained when I ask, “What did he do? Did he hurt you?”
“No, he…changed.”
“Changed…” I echoed.
“He wasn’t Zeke. His voice and demeanor changed just like you said. Khalil, it was just like that day the death squad tried to take me when—”
“Bane woke up,” I interrupt through gritted teeth. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“And he didn’t hurt you? Are you sure?”
“Zeke woke up before he could, just like Seth did. It was so quick I almost didn’t even notice. All I had was this feeling of being hunted. To be honest, I thought Zeke switching would be more dramatic than that.”
“It rarely is,” I say. “Zeke doesn’t normally fight it, but lately he has to. Seth too. It’s obvious they’re terrified of Bane waking up.”
But from the sound of it, Zeke hadn’t fought it at all.
Or maybe Bane just wanted out that badly.
Aurelia had dangled forbidden fruit in front of him only to take it away.
I knew firsthand how swiftly and viciously the need to claim her took hold.
It was that same compulsion that slithered itself around my neck when I first saw her lying broken and bleeding in my bed.
It wouldn’t let me go, wouldn’t let me breathe, until I claimed her.
“Khalil?”
“Yeah,” I say, snapping out of my trance to see the alarmed look on Aurelia’s face. “What’s up?”
“You’re hard. Why are you hard?”
“Don’t worry about that,” I say while pushing my crotch into her like a sleaze. “I’ll give it to you later. Now focus. You said this time was different. What changed?”
“Well, the first time it happened it was because Seth was pissed. I mean really angry at me. This time it was because…because…”
“Zeke wanted to kiss you.”
Aurelia makes a sound of frustration and stands to pace in front of me.
“You said Bane only wakes up if Zeke feels threatened, and now I’m worried that I pushed Zeke too far.
I didn’t mean to make him uncomfortable.
I just thought…the way he looks at me sometimes…
I swear he… I just thought I’d go for it, you know?
Shoot my shot. Test the waters. I’m told some guys like it when girls make the first move.
Now I feel like a thirst bucket and a creep, and I don’t want to face him, but it’s kind of hard when you live together in a cabin the size of a shoebox.
No offense. It’s a really lovely shoebox, and I think it’s sexy as hell that you guys built it with your bare hands, but the three of you are just so huge with your giant muscles and overwhelming personalities.
You all take up a lot of space, and a girl can only hide so much, you know? ”
“Aurelia.”
“Huh?”
“Focus.”
“I’m trying.”
“First of all, you’re not a creep.” Aurelia snorts derisively as she returns to braiding my hair. “If Zeke tried to kiss you, it means he wanted to. He stopped because it’s what you wanted.”
“So then why did Bane feel like he had to rescue him from me?”
I’m silent for a really long time because I don’t have the answer. Something about Aurelia triggers Bane in a way we haven’t seen before. I didn’t have a ready answer. I only have theories to offer, and each is more frightening than the last.
“Maybe he didn’t,” I finally offer. “Maybe it was something else that made him step in. Something about you.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t follow. Bane is supposed to be the really scary one. The alter whose button you press if you want everything to go BOOM, right?”
“Look, one thing is clear, and that’s the fact that we’re all influencing each other in major ways, and we’re going through some changes that we may not be ready to understand.”
“And in the meantime?”
“I think it’s better if you’re not alone with Zeke anymore. Just until we figure out what is making Bane act out of the ordinary.”
“I think that’s going to be a bit of a problem.”
“Because we live in a shoebox?” I arch a brow. The cabin isn’t small by any means, but it’s easy to forget that Aurelia is a billionaire. Our cabin could probably fit in her living room.
“You all could try shrinking your egos a little. That should save some room for me.”
I grin and get comfortable in my seat. “Not a chance.”
“Worth a shot,” she grumbles.
Two hours later, Aurelia is finishing the last of the plaits when the sound of footsteps on the front porch reaches our ears.
Thorin and Zeke must be home. When Aurelia goes to greet them, I stop her and make her stay while I check to verify that it’s actually them.
Her uncle not only knows that Aurelia is alive, he now knows exactly where to find her.
It’s not a coincidence that he’s been checking up on us.
I leave the dining room and breathe a sigh of relief when the front door opens and I see my brothers walk in. They’re wearing hunting gear, so I figure Thorin must have taken Zeke out to blow off some steam.
“Catch anything good?”
“Not really. You?”
“Just a whole lot of trouble,” I respond.
“Can I come out now?” Aurelia calls out needlessly.
Thorin raises a brow, but he doesn’t look surprised that I made Aurelia wait out of sight. He would have done the same thing.
“Come on,” I grant.
Aurelia inches out, and I roll my eyes at her antics since mocking our need to protect her is her favorite brand of sarcasm. “Hi.” She awkwardly waves a hand.
Zeke nods at her before flopping down on one of the armchairs. Usually, he prefers to hide somewhere alone and brood, but this time he stays with his gaze trained on Aurelia.
He watches me, I hear Aurelia saying.
Thorin crooks a finger at her, and Aurelia nervously shuffles over. She knows she’s in trouble.
“You went to see your uncle?”
“That’s what normal people do when their family is visiting from out of town.”
“I’m sure you can make the exception for family that’s already tried to kill you once.”
“Semantics.”
“Aurelia, my hand is twitching.”
“I don’t see what the big deal is. My uncle isn’t stupid. He’s here for a reason, but we’ve got the upper hand.”
“Do we?” Zeke challenges.
Aurelia spins around to face him, and he tries to hide his surprise. “I mean, I guess?”
“So what is the plan now that we have the upper hand, wolf? I’m dying to know how going to see him is keeping you safe and alive.”
“I’m still working on it.”
“I’m pretending to be shocked, but I’m having a really hard time at it. You were reckless.”