Chapter 6
Lucy
As our plane banks to the side after takeoff, I swear I see a lone biker parked outside of the airport. My heart clenches, and I know it’s Chubs watching our plane leave his universe. It’s painful to even draw breath, so I don’t bother trying until reflex kicks in. Regret for not spending that last night with him hits hard, but I refuse to accept all the blame.
When I can no longer see the biker, I lean my head back on the headrest and close my eyes. Concentrating on breathing one breath in, holding for three seconds, and then releasing it slowly, I’m unaware of the concerned eyes aimed in my direction. I stay deathly still until our flight attendant asks about my drink preference.
“Coke, please.”
I receive my drink and turn to see Lisa watching me closely.
“I’m okay, Sis. Really. I’m going to shove all things Lucy and Chubs into a box and forget about them for the next week. I just want—need—to spend time with Dad, sightsee with, and do battle with you. I have a few more moves I haven’t used on you yet,” I say with a small, forced grin.
Lisa continues to study my face for a few more beats before going along with my play.
“Which one of those gorgeous, tatted bikers do I have to thank for teaching you skills to use against me?” she asks.
“Mostly Cash, but Axel, Pooh, and Vex have all worked with me before too. They’re big on the women having some self-defense abilities. You should come to the gym and take some classes with me,” I explain.
“Cash? The godlike Viking man? Sign me up,” she orders.
“I thought for sure you’d insist on Vex. He’s the pretty one but doesn’t like being called that. Said he’s tired of people asking if he has a dick. By people, he means Axel and Craig,” I say with a small laugh.
“Can you imagine if Craig were Axel’s son? I would pity Bailey so much, but her life would never be boring,” Lisa declares with a snort.
“Not to interrupt, but do you think the guys would let me come to the gym for classes too?” Mom asks from across the aisle.
“Absolutely they would. They’ve designed several levels of classes just for women now. I didn’t know you were interested in self-defense, though,” I answer.
“With all they do for New Horizons and the women there, I have to admit I’m very impressed with them. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realized that any training, any knowledge, is never a waste of time learning. Hopefully, it’s never needed, but if it ever is, I should be prepared. Could us three ladies take the classes together?” Mom questions.
“That’s a great idea, Mom. Count me in,” Lisa adds.
“I’ll set it up when we get back,” I respond, and I realize I like the idea of my mom and sister taking their own safety seriously.
“Lord help me,” Dad mutters while flipping through a folder of official-looking papers.
A few mornings after we arrived in Washington, D.C., I awake suddenly, panting for air. I don’t know what woke me, but I feel very unsettled. I listen for any unusual sounds before lifting my head and looking around the room. Nothing is out of the ordinary, but I’ve learned to trust gut instincts. Climbing out of bed, I pad around the room, checking door locks and windows. Everything is secure, and nothing is out of place, and yet the bad feeling persists. Sitting on the bed, I grab my phone and look to see if I have any texts. There’s one.
Chubs: I love you, always will, and I’m so sorry for not being all that you deserve. I don’t expect or hope for your forgiveness but one day I hope you’ll understand why I made the decisions I made. I wish you all the happiness possible because you deserve only the best. I love you, will to my dying breath, and beyond.
I reread the text several times, but the words don’t change. Chubs, my heart and soul, just told me goodbye. Instantly, I know he’s left not only me but Denver and The Devil’s Angels behind. Setting my phone down, I lay across the bed, then slowly wrap myself in the comforter. I force my mind to go blank and refuse the tears that threaten to fall. I simply exist for a few hours before the door that connects Lisa’s room to mine opens.
When Lisa sits next to my hip, I move an arm enough to pick up my phone, open it to Chubs’ text and hand it to her. After a silent moment, my sister sets my phone down, lifts the edge of the comforter, and settles against my back. Wrapping her arms around me, we stay cocooned from the world for a long time.
“I can have him found if you give me all the information you know about him,” Dad insists for the second time.
“I won’t let you get involved, Dad. He’s made choices, right or wrong, but they were his to make. There’re things about his past you don’t know and, because of your position, can’t know. Please don’t let his past ruin your future too,” I say in a weary voice.
“Do you know more than he thinks you do?” my dad questions while turning away from the window to face me.
I hear the hint of accusation in his tone. Dad knows his daughters well. I nod my head once, then tilt my chin in a slightly defiant way. Instantly, Dad’s hands land on his hips, and he frowns.
“You nearly died once protecting this man. Please, for all that is holy, promise me you won’t do that again!” Dad says in a raised, alarmed voice.
“Don’t shout, Gordon,” Mom insists before turning to me. “What do you need, Lucy? Do you want to fly home today? Lisa and I can come with you. Do you want to move out of the apartment and come back home? Whatever you decide, you have us to help.”
Thinking it over, I answer with the last bit of energy I can muster today.
“No, I want to stay here. I need a little distance from Denver and the Angels right now. Ava’s going to lose her shit, probably break things, and I would like to avoid that scene for a few days. I’ll get interrogated by club members too, and I’m not sure I’m ready to face it yet. I have decisions to make but not today. Today, I just want to be sad. Tomorrow, I’ll move on to anger.”
True to my word, I woke up the next morning angry. I skipped right past the first stage of grief, denial, and moved into the pissed-off-at-the-world angry phase. Maybe I didn’t completely skip denial because the last several months, I’ve been denying what was right before me. Chubs was going to move on, and I wasn’t going to be a part of his future. Fuck him.
I climb out of bed and head for the bathroom. Taking a long, hot shower does nothing to calm my emotions, though. Going through my morning routine, I hear Lisa call my name. Stepping out of the bathroom, I notice she’s ready for the day.
“What?” I bite out and then try to rein in my temper.
“Well, good morning to you too, Sunshine. I ordered us breakfast. Mom will be here in a few minutes to eat with us. Dad is in meetings all day, so he’s left already.”
“Fine,” I snap before taking a deep breath and giving her an apologetic look.
“Here’s the deal, little sister. I get that you’re hurting, and I understand what you’ve lost. I too loved that man, but mostly because I thought he was perfect for you. Turns out, I was wrong about that, and he’ll have to answer for it someday. Until then, I’m here for you, no matter what. You can spit fire, cuss like a sailor, kick things, whatever you need to do to feel better and heal your heart, and I’ll still be standing next to you. If you want to move back to Mom and Dad’s home, I’ll come over every day to be whatever you need. If you want to live at the Governor’s Mansion instead, I’ll hate it, but I’ll come there. I personally would love it more, though, if you moved into my condo, and we could terrorize the world together again. So, you be as angry as you need to be, and I’ll be angry beside you. Deal?”
Nodding my head, I walk across the room and throw my arms around my sister. She does the same, and we stay standing there together until there’s a knock on the door. Pulling away, Lisa walks to the door and opens it to find our mom. Mom looks at Lisa, then me, and enters my room. She makes her way to me before pulling me in for a hug. Lisa joins us, and we three Douglas women stand together, as one, before taking on the day.