Chapter 10
Lucy
The world doesn’t stop turning because of a broken heart, so after a few days, I go back to my normal routine. I spend the day with Pippa and Tammy at New Horizons, saying less than usual, and after a few questions, they leave me to my work. Surprising me, Tammy stops beside my desk as she’s leaving the room, places a gentle hand on my chin, and brushes her lips across my cheek.
“Anything you need, honey. Anything,” she whispers before releasing me and walking out the door.
I put my head down and get busy. A few hours later, Craig and Pooh walk into the office where Pippa and I are working. Craig’s hands, face, and clothes are clean, and it reminds me that we have a lunch date.
Stopping next to my chair, he grasps my hand with his, then leans his head against my shoulder in silent support. I squeeze his hand before dropping a kiss on his head and say, “I’m good, little man.”
Pulling back, his eyes rake over my features before he gives me a small chin lift in acknowledgment.
“We can do lunch another day, Lucy.”
“Are you trying to get out of our date?” I ask in what I hope is a playful tone.
“No, but I get it if you want to pass on it for a while.”
“Craig can go to lunch with me and Pippa instead, Lucy. You doing alright?” Pooh asks with concern coloring his voice.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Craig’s mine for lunch, though. You two go enjoy a quiet meal and work on those wedding plans. I’ll bring Craig home later today if that’s okay,” I state.
“Sounds good if you’re sure,” Pippa says.
Standing, I shut my laptop, grab my purse, and force a smile before answering.
“Positive.”
Once seated in my car, Craig turns to me with a big grin. I notice that he’s missing a front tooth and gasp.
“Pretty cool, isn’t it?” Craig asks with a smirk and one finger pointing to the missing tooth.
“Very cool, and it’s about time you started losing them. We were starting to think you were scared of the tooth fairy.”
“She’s not real, but don’t tell anyone I know that. I got lots of cash for that tooth. I have a lot more to go, and I want to make good bank on them,” Craig answers.
“How much did you get?” I question as I drive away from New Horizons.
“$50 bucks! Everyone was sneaking into my room to put money under my pillow, so I pretended to be asleep. Guess being the first kid at the club to lose a tooth is a good thing. I gave Luke $15 of it, though.”
“$50 bucks! Did Elon Musk drop by with a cash bag for you too?” I ask, astonished at how much he made. “Oh, sorry. Elon Musk is—”
“A billionaire. I’ve heard about him. SpaceX, Twitter, Tesla. A geeky smart guy like Rex, but he pretty much pisses money. Oops. Sorry for the swear. And no, he didn’t sneak into my room, but my mom, Tammy, Trigger, Pooh, and Axel all did. I fell asleep for a while, but I did wake up when Bella shoved cash under my pillow. Those are the ones I saw, but others might have been there too,” Craig says casually.
“Very nice of you to give Luke some of your money, but why did you do that?” I ask, somehow knowing what he’s about to say.
“He knocked it out for me. Got tired of everyone talking about how I should’ve lost several teeth by now, so I asked Luke to help me out. He didn’t want to do it at first, but I talked him into it. He elbowed me in the mouth, and waa-laa, tooth fell out. We have to wait a few weeks before we take out another, or peeps might get suspicious,” he replies matter-of-factly.
“Oh my God, Craig! That must’ve hurt!” I shout, cringing at the mental image.
“It’s like that old thing women always say about how they forget the pain of spitting out a kid as soon as they hold it. I forgot all about the pain when I saw all those bills under my pillow,” he says with a laugh that seriously sounded a little maniacal.
“I promise not to tell anyone, but please, don’t let Luke elbow you again,” I request as I pull into the restaurant Craig likes.
Slamming the car door shut, Craig grins at me. I don’t even bother to repeat my request because I know he’ll do whatever he chooses to anyway.
We enjoy our meal, and Craig catches me up on everything that’s happened since I left. He carefully avoids mentioning Chubs’ name, and I follow his lead. After leaving the restaurant, we drive to one of our favorite places, FurEver Homes. It’s the animal rescue that Ivy used to work at and where Craig got Bart, his pet skunk. Because the club does a lot of volunteer work here, the employees are used to seeing us wandering the barns and outside areas of the rescue, so they just wave at us as we walk past. Craig leads me directly to the livestock barns.
I walk slowly down the aisle, looking into each stall and greeting whatever animal is inside. Craig, on the other hand, races up and down the aisle, trying to decide who to pet first. Stopping at a stall, I watch a mini-sized cow eat her hay. She moos softly when she notices me, then continues munching her dinner.
Keeping one eye on Craig, I feel the weight of the world settle on my shoulders again. My sense of loneliness is overwhelming, and my chest tightens with it. Starting to feel anxious, I try to slow my breathing to a normal rate. Instead, I’m panting shallow breaths, and the perimeter of my field of vision is darkening. Leaning against the stall, I know I’m having a panic attack, but I can’t get it under control.
“Lucy, let’s sit down for a minute. Come on. I got you,” Craig’s voice penetrates my brain as he grasps my hand and tugs gently.
I take the few steps to the bale of hay and drop down on it, still holding his hand.
“It’s going to be okay, you know. Just breathe slowly. Breathe with me, Lucy,” Craig encourages in a quiet, calm voice while taking audible breaths in then out in an even pattern.
I adjust my breaths to match his and fight back the panic. Slowly, it starts to work, and my vision returns. After another minute, I lean back against the stall behind me, exhausted. Craig continues holding my hand and sits silently beside me. When I finally look at him, all I see is concern and love. Impulsively, I wrap my arms around him and hug him tight to me.
After a moment, he gasps out dramatically, “Now I’m the one who can’t breathe.”
I let him go, and he smiles up at me, but I can still see the concern in his eyes.
“I’ll be okay, Craig. Just going to take some time. You knew how to help me calm down. How?”
“I’m not supposed to tell anyone.”
Curious now, I make a promise.
“I won’t tell anyone. Did Pippa have panic attacks after the shooting?”
“Not that I know of, but maybe. Another person has them sometimes, and I asked the guy, that we won’t call by name, how to help someone when that happens. He showed me on the internet what to do.”
“You can say his name, Craig. He’s your friend, and he loves you very much.”
“Yeah, I know he does. I feel the same way about him. I get why you’re upset because I miss him too.”
“So, are you going to tell me who else has panic attacks? I promise I won’t tell anyone else unless it becomes an emergency-type situation.”
“Bella. She has them sometimes ever since she shot that guy that broke into the Aunts’ home. I saw her having one once and got scared. After she felt better, she explained what had happened and why. She doesn’t want to worry everyone, so she asked me not to say anything. Big Petey, Trudy, Pooh, hell, even Ava and Axel would lose their minds and follow Bella everywhere if they knew. Trudy would probably get Axel to dig up that guy’s grave just so they could mutilate his body. That’s if Pooh didn’t already do it,” Craig answers, then gives up a small laugh, most likely visualizing that scenario.
I have to admit the kid’s probably spot on with his thoughts on that subject.
“If there’s ever anything I can do to help her, let me know. Yeah?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Lucy. Let’s go see the dogs now. Maybe you should adopt one, and I’ll help you take care of it,” Craig says with a sly grin.
“You want to adopt one but tell your mom it’s mine. I know the game you’re playing, but let’s go see their little faces.”
Spending time with Craig and the other kids tends to calm my raging anger, but the calm doesn’t last long. I know Chubs leaving me has changed my perception of love, trust, and people in general, but I can’t seem to tame the anger. I’m literally mad at the whole world. I see Axel and Bailey together and how great they are as a couple. It’s not jealousy that comes to the surface. It’s disgust that he may do the same to her someday as Chubs did to me. He’ll give her false hope of a future, then rip it away. The rational side of my brain knows I’m wrong at assuming this, but I have to fight hard to keep those thoughts hidden. It’s exhausting, and that just makes me madder.
Entering the clubhouse, I groan inwardly at all the happy couples hanging around. Ava and Taja’s pregnant bellies even irritate me. I walk directly to the bar and wait for Toes to notice me. When he does, I order a Jack and Coke. Eyebrows go up all around me, but I ignore them.
“Uh, hey, Lucy. Um, did you say a Jack and Coke?” Toes questions while taking a few steps back from me.
“Yes, I did. Please and thank you,” I answer while climbing up on a stool next to Pigeon.
“But you don’t drink alcohol,” Toes says with confusion still written on his face.
“Do now,” I reply flatly.
“Maybe now isn’t the best time to start,” Horse advises in a quiet voice from the other side of Pigeon.
“I strongly disagree,” I reply in the same flat tone while raising an eyebrow at Toes.
Toes instantly turns to reach for the Jack, slips instead, and lands on his ass behind the bar. Vex leans over the bar and grins down at him.
“You okay down there, Toes? Break anything valuable?” Vex asks while the men at the bar all laugh.
I clearly hear Toes’ mumbled “fucking jinxed” but pretend I don’t. I wait patiently for him to gather himself and make my drink. He sets the mixed drink on the bar and slides it down the length to me. Pigeon stops its movement when it reaches me. I nod at him, pick up the drink, and swallow half of it. Again, I ignore the raised eyebrows.
“Anything you need, Lucy? Anything we can do for you?” Vex asks in a sincere voice.
“No, but thank you. I’m just taking it one day at a time.”
“Bailey and I would love it if you wanted to stay with us for a while,” Axel offers from a nearby table.
“That’s very nice, Axel, but I prefer to be alone right now. I’d love to have little Alex spend a night with me, though,” I reply, knowing full well Axel would be sleeping on my couch if that ever happened.
“Can’t I just buy you a car or something? Be reasonable, woman!” Axel exclaims loudly.
I finish off my drink and signal for another before answering.
“Don’t need a car, but a few days with Alex would be very comforting for me.”
“You’re just being evil now when I was only trying to be nice! A few days? Crazy talk, little Luce. No more booze for you!” Axel shouts in alarm while several of the other people laugh at him.
Once again, Toes slides the drink down the bar instead of approaching me. For some odd reason, I get a little evil pleasure from his fear. Slugging a large amount of the drink back, I set the glass down just as I hear my name called. Turning toward the voice, I see Gunner approaching.
“Hey, Lucy. We need to talk. Let’s do it in my office,” he orders but does so in a nice tone.
I leave my drink, slide off the stool, and follow Gunner to his office. Taking a seat in front of his desk, I fold my hands and place them on my lap. He shuts the door and takes a seat behind his desk, eyes on me. I wait, holding his gaze.
“You and Chubs were great together as a couple, and you were the best thing for him. I watched you two, and I know you were loyal to him in the way every man wants in his life. I can’t tell you how sorry I am that this has happened to you, but I also know you’re not telling me everything. I need some honesty from you, Lucy,” Gunner states in a firm, no-nonsense voice.
“I don’t know where he’s at, Gunner,” I reply in the same voice.
“See, here’s the thing, Lucy. If I suddenly came up missing, bike left along the highway, my woman would be tearing this world apart looking for me. Ava would leave no stone unturned, and nobody would be allowed to rest until I was found. You have that same kind of loyalty for Chubs, and yet you haven’t even asked a single one of us if we’ve found anything. Rex said you haven’t questioned him at all, and you know he’s the one that will find some trail. Why is that? Why aren’t you burning Denver to the ground looking for your man?” Gunner questions with blatant accusation in his tone.
“Ava and you have a stronger bond. Marriage, children, a home. Chubs never gave me any of those things,” I bite out and then realize the truth of that statement.
“I call bullshit on that. What do you know that you’re not sharing? Do you know where he is or who has him? Did he ever tell you his real name?” Gunner questions in a hard voice.
“You’re his club president. Are you saying you’ve had a member in your club for years and yet don’t know his real name?” I shoot back at him.
“Chubs joined the club when my dad was president. I run background checks on everyone associated with the club, but that started when I took over. I never went back and ran them on members that were already patched in. Quit avoiding the questions,” he returns.
“I can’t help you, Gunner.”
“The fuck you can’t!” Gunner shouts before visibly straining for control. When he appears to have regained some, he continues. “You know enough that you’re not concerned he was kidnapped by the Feds or a rival gang. You’re mad, not worried. That tells me that you know he left by choice. Why were the Feds harassing him? What did they want, and why would Chubs leave without telling anyone?”
My temper snaps, and I stand up, placing my hands on his desk while leaning into them, our faces close.
“Maybe he just left me because I wasn’t worth his time anymore! Maybe it was easier for him to run than man up and tell me himself! Maybe he met someone, and I was in the way! What I do know is that he’s gone without a word, and I’m left here to pick up the pieces while being accused by an MC club president three times my size that I’m to blame in some way because he failed in knowing his own members! Fuck you, Gunner! In fact, fuck this whole club that centers around the large egos of men!” I shout, somewhat hysterically, before grabbing a jar filled with pens and heaving it against the wall behind his head.
I watch with satisfaction as the jar explodes and ink pens fly in every direction. Lowering my eyes to his shocked ones, I whirl, yank the door open, and storm out. Halfway across the main room, I drop the doorknob I was still holding, ignore every single person, and head directly to my car. Getting in, I slam my door, start the engine, and drop it into gear. I hit the gas and hear the tires tossing gravel in every direction as I race toward the gate. Lucky for the club, whoever’s on gate duty gets it open before I crash through it, as I fully planned on doing.
Halfway to the bakery and my apartment, I decide it’s time to make some plans of my own. I make a stop at a large department store, buy the items I need then go home. Dropping my items in the kitchen, I shrug off my hoodie and shoes, then get busy.
Three hours later, my personal belongings are packed into totes sitting near the door. I’ve ignored all the texts and phone calls that have been coming in while I packed, but now I pick up my phone. Not to acknowledge the messages but to make a phone call.
“Hey, little sister. What’s up?” Lisa says.
“I’m packed. Can I still stay with you for a while?”
“I’ll borrow Dad’s truck and be there in 30 minutes,” Lisa replies immediately.
Twenty-five minutes later, my dad and sister entered my apartment, and we moved me out of it. When we’re finished, I take the key into the kitchen at the bakery and drop it on the counter. Using Chubs’ IOU notepad and pen, I leave Ava a note explaining that I need some distance from the club for now. I thank her and then leave two months’ rent with the note. I walk out without looking back at another piece of Chubs I chose to leave behind.
“Want to talk yet?” Lisa asks over her steaming mug of tea.
“No.”
“Fair enough. Want to watch a movie?”
“No.”
“Want to make cookie dough and eat it instead of baking the cookies?” she offers.
“Yeah, let’s do that. And drink. Let’s do that too,” I answer as I make my way to her kitchen.
Lisa follows me, then opens a cabinet, waving her hand in front of it like a model on a game show.
“What’s your poison?”
“I only know the name of a few drinks, like Pina Colada, tequila, Jack and Coke. Might be best if you decide what we’re drinking tonight,” I offer while pulling out the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies.
“Watermelon margaritas it is then,” Lisa answers while setting a blender on the countertop.
We work in companionable silence until Lisa switches on the blender. Louder than normal noises emit from it, followed by smoke. Lisa quickly hits the off button then we both take a step back. When it stops smoking, Lisa steps closer and takes the lid off. Peering inside it, she grins.
“It might not be as slushy as I like it, but it’ll do,” she says.
At that moment, the blender gives a half-hearted gurgle then starts up on its own. Pink slush blows Lisa’s hair back, covering her entire face, then sprays everything in its path. Dodging the alcoholic ice bombs as best as I can, I dive to grab the cord. Yanking it from the wall, I turn around to find Lisa staring at me.
I cover my mouth with both hands as I watch the icy mixture slowly slide down her face and plop onto the counter and floor. I bite down on my lip when I notice her hair is stuck in a dramatic wind-blown manner. I almost giggle out loud when a glob slides down her forehead then covers one eye. Lisa remains silent, probably traumatized, but continues to stare at me with her one uncovered eye.
My sister slowly reaches a delicate hand up and pushes the slush out of her eye, then uses it to wipe some of the mess off her face. Her white gauzy blouse is beyond saving, so she doesn’t even bother trying. I’m still covering half of my face and trying desperately not to laugh at her and the situation. I lose that battle when a large icy clump drops from the ceiling and lands on the top of Lisa’s head. She continues to stand silently until gravity helps the clump follow the same path as the previous ones. Jerking her hands to her eyes, she wipes both clear and pins her gaze on me again.
“How could I have forgotten what it’s like to live with you?” Lisa asks in a calm, controlled voice.
“This has nothing to do with—” I start, but Lisa cuts me off mid-denial.
“Bitch. Run!”
I know that tone, so I run. I make it to my bedroom door, slam it shut and lock it behind me. I can hear Lisa muttering some pretty strong swear words in the hallway, but I ignore them and head for the shower. I might not have gotten the worst of the margarita fiasco, but I got enough to be sticky. Closing the shower curtain, I stand under the warm water while laughing at the image of Lisa covered in watermelon-colored slush.
When the bucket of ice-cold water crashes over me, I can’t stop the scream. First, I know I locked the bedroom door, and second, well, it was fricking cold! I hear Lisa’s laughter, then her voice.
“Fucking payback, little sister!”
Then I hear our mother’s voice.
“What in the world did you two do?” Mom screeches.
Lisa and I both scream a little in surprise that we’re not alone anymore. I slip and nearly land on my backside but catch a hold of the curtain in the nick of time.
“Mom! What the hell? You just scared the shit out of me!” Lisa accuses in a high voice.
“Did you dye your hair pink?” Mom somewhat shrieks back.
“Could you two have this conversation somewhere that I’m not showering?” I ask loudly.
“What is it with you two girls? Every time you get together, you cause a ruckus!” Mom says, but I can hear her voice fading, so I know they’re leaving the room.
I finish my shower, get dressed and walk back down the hallway. Stepping into the kitchen, I stop. Mom’s on a step stool, washing down the cupboards while my dad is mopping the floor. When he notices me, he grins.
“Lisa’s taking a quick shower, then we’re taking our daughters out for dinner. Hopefully, with enough shampoo, she’ll be able to get her hair to lay down flat again. Love her, but I wasn’t thrilled about going to dinner with her new ‘do,’” Dad says before barking out a laugh. “I only left here a few hours ago, and you two have already found a way to wreak havoc on Lisa’s condo.”
“I didn’t do anything. It was all Lisa,” I reply.
“You girls shouldn’t be left alone together. Maybe you should move back home instead,” Mom offers, but I know it’s because she wanted me home with her and not moving in with Lisa to begin with.
“Yeah, maybe you should,” Lisa says behind me, then pushes past to lean against the fridge. “That way, you can ‘Lucy’ their appliances instead of mine. Here an hour, and I’m down one Ninja blender already.”
“Dear Lord,” Mom mutters, and Dad laughs while shooting a wink my direction.
For the next few weeks, I pretty much dodged everyone associated with the club except for texting a little with Bailey. She was upset at first but said she understood after I explained that I couldn’t take the interrogations from the members anymore. Yep, I threw Gunner’s large body right under that bus. Yep, I feel guilty for doing it because he’s one of my favorite people, but I almost caved and told him all I know. I need a little time to shore up my defenses. I’m hoping that Gunner not getting information out of me might keep the others from trying too.
I can’t explain to myself why I feel the need to keep Chubs’ secrets, though. I should tell the club everything and let them decide what should be done with their member. Even knowing that I’m not sure I could ever trust Chubs again as a person or boyfriend, I’m not sure it’s my place to expose his former life. He made choices without giving me a say, so it’s no longer my place to speak for him. I think that’s what I believe anyway. My thoughts on that change from day to day, so we’ll see what tomorrow brings.
I’m still going to New Horizons to help out, but I avoid Tammy and Pippa by going in the evenings. I ran into Pippa once when she came back for an intake, but all she did was give me a hug and tell me she wouldn’t ask any questions I wasn’t ready to answer. I nodded in appreciation, and she left the office to deal with the intake.
Since moving in with Lisa, I’ve been going to her gym with her instead of the club gym. I don’t like it as much because there’s no class for me to do striking or takedowns. I spend a lot of time on the treadmill and have amazed myself at the increasing distances I can run. I’m closing in on the six-mile mark when my phone beeps through my earbuds. It’s from Pippa, so I hit stop on the treadmill and open the text, breathing heavy.
Pippa: Craig here. You ever coming back?
Me: Hey Craig. Pips know you have her phone again?
Pippa: Hope not. Got a few texts to send yet. ???
Me: Yeah, I am. Just needed a break.
Pippa: Ignore the guys. They have their panties twisted. Want to hang out with me?
Me: Yes. When?
Pippa: In the morning. Everyone is busy but me.
Me: 9:00am. Pick you up at your house.
Pippa: kk. Love you.
Me: Love you.
“Club?” Lisa asks while stopping her treadmill.
“Craig. Wants to hang out tomorrow morning. Want to come with us? We’ll probably go out to eat breakfast and maybe hit up a park or something.”
“Yeah, sounds good. You’re buying,” Lisa orders then snaps my leg with her towel.
“Never doubted that for a second,” I mutter while walking a large circle out and around her on my way to the locker room.
After showering, we stop at a small coffee café. Taking our drinks to an outdoor table, we sit quietly for a few minutes, watching the people on the sidewalk rush about their day.
“It will get easier, Lucy. Maybe I should say it’ll ease, but you’ll find a new path. New things to enjoy. Takes time. When Donny cheated on me, I didn’t even want to face the world for weeks. I was angry, hurt, positive I’d never trust again, and felt like an idiot for loving him. Then, one day I woke up and realized it didn’t hurt quite as much.”
“I know it will. I just hope I don’t tear the world apart before then.”
The loud crashing sound draws our attention to a minor car accident at the corner. The drivers of each car get out and start yelling at one another, arms waving in irritation. I know the exact second Lisa directs her eyes to the side of my face. I pretend not to notice that she’s grinning at me.
“That had nothing to do with me. Not every disaster can be tossed at my feet,” I say without emotion.
“Bet there are members of the club that would disagree with you on that. I’ve heard a few rumors that Gunner upped the clubhouse insurance when you started hanging out there.”
“We don’t listen to rumors.”
Lisa snorts out a laugh before picking up her purse and coffee cup.
“Let’s get out of here before the building catches on fire.”
I wave to Bella and Luke as we drive past them and stop in front of Pooh’s house. Craig comes flying out the door before I even have the car in park. He climbs into the backseat after setting his backpack in first. Buckling up, he grins at me in the mirror. Pooh salutes us with a smile while standing on his sidewalk.
“Hi, Lisa! Hey, Lucy. It might be best if we leave using the back road. Tessie’s on her way to the clubhouse,” Craig advises.
I don’t hesitate to drive away from Pooh’s, taking the road toward the backside of the club property. Glancing in the mirror, I see Tessie’s Jeep sliding sideways onto the road, Pooh dropping his coffee cup and diving onto his deck before the Jeep drives in the opposite direction. I breathe a sigh of relief and give Craig a thumbs up.
“Hey, Craig. How’s it feel knowing you’re going to be dining with two gorgeous ladies today?” Lisa asks.
“Two’s always better than one,” he quips.
“After breakfast, what do you have planned for us?” I query.
“We’ll have to make a stop somewhere with some grass,” he answers, but it sounds like he’s distracted. Before I can look in the mirror to see why he continues speaking.
“I know you’ve been sad, so I brought Bart to cheer you up.”
Bart, his pet skunk, lands on the console between Lisa and me. Without hesitation, he crawls into Lisa’s lap.
“Isn’t Bart a sk…” Lisa starts to ask before realizing he’s sitting on her lap.
Screaming loudly, Lisa jerks away and throws her hands in the air, nearly unseating Bart. Freezing in that position, she becomes silent.
“You knew he had a pet skunk, Lisa,” I remind her, fighting laughter.
“Oh shit! Yes, I did, but I didn’t know it was going to be sitting on me! Scared the crap out of me,” Lisa exclaims before slowly relaxing.
Bart rolls to his back and stares up at Lisa. She reaches out a finger and runs it over the pad of his foot before smiling. Within a minute, she’s petting him, and he’s nearly purring in pleasure.
“I’m sorry, Lisa. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Craig says sincerely.
“It’s okay, Craig. He just startled me. It’s not every day a person has a skunk appearing in their lap, you know,” Lisa returns before cuddling Bart closer to her. “Wow. He doesn’t smell at all.”
“Of course not. Pippa makes him take baths too,” Craig says with no small amount of disgust in his voice.
“Lucy, my favorite sister. We have to do a thing,” Lisa states, and I notice the mischievous smile on her face.
“No, we don’t, and I’m your only sister,” I answer, knowing that her smile means we’re going to get into some kind of trouble.
“Come on! It’ll be fun! Craig will get a kick out of it too! Please!”
And that’s how we ended up at the Colorado Governor’s Office with a skunk.
Craig is still laughing in the backseat when we drop him off at the clubhouse later that day. Lisa’s not faring much better. She’s quiet for a few minutes, then starts laughing hysterically again. Craig waves goodbye after he gives Lisa and me each a kiss on the cheek, and Lisa cuddles Bart one last time.
“Mom’s going to call us,” I say as I wave to Toes at the gate as we drive through.
“She can’t holler at us too much since it was Dad who turned Bart loose in the meeting room,” she answers between gasps.
“That’s true. We only scared Mrs. Godfrey, and nobody likes her anyway. Dad took it from there. Oh God, did you see how hard he was laughing when the entire room emptied out, nearly trampling each other? He’s way worse than we are.”
“His security staff! The big bald guy knocked down the smaller guy and stepped in the middle of his back running away! When the little guy stood up, he had a shoe print on his jacket! Oh damn, I literally piddled a little!” Lisa shouts before dissolving into laughter again.
“Please, tell me you’re sitting on something other than directly on my car seat!” I screech.
Lisa tips somewhat sideways in the seat, then rights herself before shaking her head no at me. Kicking her shoes off, she places the bottom of her feet against the dash of my car, tears running down her face.
“First, get your pissy ass off my seat! Second, get your feet off the dash! If I have an accident, your knees will go through your eye sockets and embed in your brain!”
“Don’t have an acc… never mind. I forgot who I was talking to for a second there,” she answers while placing her feet back on the floorboards.
When my phone buzzes with a call, I glance at it to see Mom’s name. I leave the phone where it’s at. No way am I taking that call. Then Lisa’s phone starts up, and she takes a deep, calming breath before hitting the speakerphone button.
“Dad did it, not us!” Lisa shouts into the phone.
There are a few beats of silence before we hear our mother’s beleaguered voice.
“Oh Lord. Let me get a glass of wine before you explain what your dad did that you two weren’t a part of.”
“She doesn’t know yet,” Lisa says to me with a grin.
“Shhhh! You dumbass! You’re on speakerphone!” I whisper.
“Heard both of you. What don’t I know yet, and what did you two not do but your dad did?” Mom questions in the perfect Mom voice. “Forget I asked. There’s something on the news about…”
Lisa hits the end button in panic, and Mom’s voice disappears.
“Oh God, we’re so fucked,” Lisa tells me with just a hint of a smile.
“You maybe. You just hung up on our mother,” I reply with a smirk.
“I’ll tell her my phone got jacked. You know, from being so close to you,” Lisa returns before she starts laughing again.
I punch my sister in the shoulder, but that excuse might actually work.
A few more weeks pass, and I find I have good days and bad days, but the bubbling anger hasn’t gone away. Little things set it off, and I decide it’s time to go to see Cash.
Walking into the gym, I don’t look at anyone but make my way to the office. Walking in, I see Bailey at her desk and little Alex napping on the couch. Bailey stands up and we hug. When she releases me, I take a seat next to Alex on the couch.
“You’re here to hit things, aren’t you?” Bailey asks with a knowing look.
“And to see you and my goddaughter.”
“It’s good to see you again. Been a while. You’ve lost weight, Lucy,” Bailey observes accurately.
“Yeah, a few pounds. Sorry it’s taken me so long. I haven’t been a good friend lately,” I admit.
“No apologies. You need to take care of yourself first, and you needed some time. I get that.”
Remembering what Gunner said about me not asking if they’d heard anything about Chubs, I do just that now.
“Rex find anything yet?” I ask in a quiet voice.
Bailey stares at me for a moment before shaking her head.
“No, nothing yet,” she answers with another assessing look.
Gunner must have shared his suspicions of me with Axel, and now Bailey is wondering if he was correct.
The door opens, and Axel walks through it. He sits a stack of papers on the desk, turns to me, then scoops me off the couch for a hug. My feet are over a foot off the ground, but that doesn’t stop the large man from giving me a long hug.
“Hey, Axel.”
“I’m hugging you, but I’m not talking to you.”
When he stands me on my feet, I take my seat again on the couch before looking up at him.
“Everyone knows you can’t do the silent treatment for long,” I state matter-of-factly.
“I can this tim…” he cuts himself off when I grin at him.
“I’m sorry for not coming around lately,” I admit honestly to the large, beautiful biker.
“You can be mad at Ch…” Axel stops again. “Fuck, this silent shit is hard!”
Then he storms out the door, slamming it behind himself.
Bailey gives a soft laugh before turning serious.
“You know how Axel is about family, and he considers you his family. He’s been worried about you, but Gunner told him to leave you alone. Also, he’s pissed about something Craig teased him about.”
“I know he does, and I love him for that. We harass him a lot, but he’s a good man. What’s Craig teasing him about?” I ask curiously because those two always have some beef going.
“Something about you, Lisa, and Craig turning Bart loose on some stuffed shirts, and Axel felt left out of the fun. You know how much he hates being left out of anything.”
“I’ll make sure to call him first the next time we take Bart on adventures. I’m going to go hit things, but I’ll stop back in so I can have some Alex time when she wakes up.”
Bailey nods, and I stand before walking out. Looking up, I see Cash, Axel, Vex, Candy, and James all watching me walk toward them. James opens his arms, and I walk into them. When he’s done, I move to Vex, then Cash, and when I step back, I’m surprised when Candy grabs my arms and drags me in for her hug. She pats me on the head before whispering in my ear.
“I have skills. Use them.”
Candy releases me, steps back, and walks away.
After she’s out of earshot, Axel speaks up, looking at Cash.
“Ask Lucy what Candy said to her. I tried to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t hear it.”
Cash looks at Axel in a what-is-wrong-with-you look before turning to me, “Go get ready, and I’ll meet you at the speedbags.”
“Ask me yourself, and I might answer,” I say to Axel as I stride past him.
“I can’t because…” he starts, then stops abruptly.
I force a laugh, hoping it sounds natural, before entering the locker room.
After practicing my striking with Cash, I make my way to James for takedown practice. We chat a little, then get busy. When I’m too exhausted to do anything more, I thank James and head for the showers.
Candy is sitting on a bench, unwrapping tape from her wrists when I enter. Looking up, she immediately stands, walks to the door, and locks it behind me. She grips my arm and pulls me into the shower area, then turns to look at me intently.
“Something wrong?” I asked, confused.
“I’m a street rat. Pretty much raised myself living on the streets. Surviving that way isn’t easy, but you learn things. Certain skills and how to read people. That kind of stuff. Chubs wouldn’t have left you unless he had no other choice. Wouldn’t have left his club, either. Way I see it, he left to protect you and the club from something or someone coming after him. To me, that means you could be in danger. You might be considered leverage or a threat to someone depending on what they want from him. You need to start being careful. Aware of who’s around you and who you trust. Stick close to the club. They’ll protect you if something happens,” Candy says in a hushed voice.
I’m stunned at her words and take a minute to sort through them. Before I can, though, she continues.
“You can trust me. I know you don’t know me well, but you can, and I’m loyal as fuck.”
“Okay,” I say slowly, mind reeling. “Why would you be loyal to me, though, and why are we whispering in the showers?”
“Because you’re important to Chubs, and you never know who might be listening. That’s rule number one,” she answers simply.
“I was important to him,” I answer, and the bitterness in those few words is evident.
“You are,” Candy emphasizes. “I met Chubs a few years ago. Long before I had my little incident with Axel at the toy store. He never treated me as anything but a friend, with respect, even knowing I was homeless at the time. He was kind to me when few others were. I’ve never forgotten that. He’d want you safe, and I owe him. I’ll keep my ears open and let you know if I find anything out.”
“You don’t believe he was kidnapped or taken?” I ask.
“No way. I know some club members are thinking that’s a possibility with the Feds sniffing around, but no. Chubs left on his own, and the Feds are chasing their own tails.”
Without another word, I pull out my phone and exchange numbers with Candy, the woman that kicked Axel’s ass.
“Where do you live?” I ask, already having an idea of the answer.
“I’m between homes right now,” Candy mutters evasively.
“Not anymore. Let me get a shower, and then you’re coming with me, Candy,” I order. “You’re staying with me and my sister for now, but I think I know of a perfect apartment for you that’s recently became available.”