Chapter 15
Chubs
From a safe distance, I watch as my mother, sister, and brother drive down the street. I know where they’re going, so I don’t pull out behind them. I wait and watch to see if they’re being followed by anyone and breathe a sigh of relief when they’re not.
I make a stop for drinks and snacks before parking across the street from our church. Same church at the same time we attended every Sunday when I was a kid. I recognize a few of the stragglers as they rush to get inside before the service starts. They’re the same stragglers as before, and it’s somehow comforting to know some things don’t change over time.
I get my first good look at my mom and brother when they exit an hour later. Mom has aged but in a beautiful way. Elegant as always, she speaks with another patron while my brother scans the area while staying close to Mom and Aria. He hasn’t changed much over the years. Less gangly teen and more bulked-up man, and that’s about all.
Aria is speaking to him, but I know the second he spots me. I should be unrecognizable, but he’s suspicious of anything out of the ordinary because that’s how Dad trained us. I start my car, put it into gear, and drive slowly away. His eyes stay locked on me the entire time, but he shows no other signs of concern. A few minutes later, I received a text.
Les: Watch the news.
I’m several miles away from the hotel, so I flip on the radio, tune it to a local station, and listen as I drive. I do a fist pump when the news I’m hearing is good for me and bad for my enemies. My plan is working—they’re turning on each other.
“Two more bodies washed up on shore yesterday, and they’ve been identified as members of local organized crime. We’ve been told by an unidentified source that there was an attempt on the life of another member of this same crime family. We’ll keep you updated as the investigation continues.”
The news report helps soothe my frayed nerves a bit. As long as they’re killing each other off, even if some of it’s my fault, my hands won’t be as bloodied. I smile as I drive, feeling better about my chances of survival. Unfortunately, I get very little precious time to feel that way before reality sets in.
The next morning, I am driving back to my old childhood home and see a familiar face. Two, to be exact. I cruise on past their car and park several blocks away. Donning my usual disguise, I grab a basketball out of the trunk. Walking to the end of the block that Mole Face and Pig Ass, the two Feds that found me in Denver, are parked, I enter the basketball court.
I have a perfect view of their car as I shoot the ball and retrieve it. There’s a group of young guys playing a game at the other end, but they ignore me. After doing this for a while, I walk to a bench and take a seat. Sipping on water, I must come up with a plan about how to handle them.
I knew they’d watch for me to show up at my mother’s home, but I thought they’d have given up by now. They weren’t here yesterday, so why today? Do they suspect I may be the cause of the recent problems? Are they still trying to build a case and need me as a witness?
I watch as a car leaves my mom’s driveway, but I’m too far away to know who is driving. The Feds make no move to follow it, though. It’s the house they’re watching and not whoever just left. I wait another half an hour, then return to my car. I shoot off a text to Les.
Me: Got feds watching mom’s house from 1 block south. Who just left?
Les: Must be Mom because Aria left when I did this morning. How do you know they’re Feds?
Me: They’re the same two that found me in Denver. If no one’s home, why are they sitting on the house?
Les: Looking for you or expecting trouble?
Me: Could be either. Warn the women.
Les: Will do.
I watch the bank and surrounding area for hours. Not seeing anything suspicious, I follow the black Lexus when it leaves. Hanging back, I triple-check that neither of us are being followed. When I’m positive we’re not, I call my brother.
“Take a right at the next intersection.”
“I’m being tailed. Is that you?” Les asks.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
I direct Les to a small park near the waterfront. I park at the furthest end from his car, then make my way to a bench under a tree. I watch him walk toward me and the smile that grows on his face as he gets closer. I step forward and hug my brother for the first time in over a decade. When I finally step back, we both take a long look at each other. I’m not ashamed to admit that my eyes are wet, and my heart mends just a little bit.
“My God, it’s been so long, Drew,” Les states with a small wobble in his voice.
“Too long. Way too fucking long. You look great, brother.”
“You don’t look anything like yourself,” Les says with a laugh.
We take a seat on the bench, and I stay quiet while he searches my face for some resemblance to the brother he knew. He won’t find much. I’ve changed my appearance, but life has changed the rest of me.
“I don’t know if Aria would recognize you. Mom, neither.”
“Then I’ve done something right. It’s best I’m not recognized anytime soon,” I answer while running a hand over my short hair.
“Dad called today. He’s worried about Mom and Aria. He said he thinks it might be best if they did leave town now. Hide out for a while until things calm down,” Les informs me.
I think about it for a minute before slowly nodding my head.
“They’re tied up with their own problems right now, so they probably won’t even notice if the women leave at this point. I was worried about it before but not so much now. You should go with them. I know a place that would be safe.”
“I’m not leaving you here to fight alone. No sense in arguing. I won’t do it. Aria can take Mom and go. I’ll need to tell them why, though,” Les explains.
“You didn’t say anything to Dad about me?” I ask.
“No, of course not. I’m not sure what he’d do with that information, and I don’t want to find out. The women should know, though. They might refuse to leave otherwise. Do you want me to talk with them, or are you going to?”
“It’s going to freak them right the hell out, but I agree. They need to know. What’s the best way of doing that?” I ask, concerned.
“We need to keep them contained because there will be a lot of screaming, swearing, and crying. You may even get shot,” Les says with a grin. “Might be best for you to come to the house. Anywhere else, and someone might overhear.”
“Are you sure the house isn’t bugged? Even outside around the patio?” I question.
“Positive. I check daily. We can do it in the study, and I’ll go through it again before you show up.”
My brother and I figure out the details then chat for a short while before going our separate ways.
I continue with my surveillance of my mother’s house but only spot the federal agents a couple more times. I still haven’t figured out what they’re up to or why they only show occasionally, but I know I can slip past them if needed.
During the last few days, the crime spree has continued, and all without my help. The mob is killing each other off at an alarming rate, and with their heightened security, I’ve laid low, letting them do the dirty work. Having been raised in that life, I know the other crime families are smelling blood and will take advantage of the turmoil. Another reason for me to steer clear for the time being.
Tonight is the night I’m going to let my mom and sister know I’m still alive. I’m oddly excited and yet dreading it all at the same time. I can only imagine the pain they’ve endured these years. With Dad in prison and believing I would turn rat, and then being told I was killed in a car explosion while working with law enforcement. Their lives imploded around them through no fault of their own.
The other problem I’m facing is convincing Mom and Aria to leave town. Neither are going to want to, but my mom will listen to reason. According to Les, Aria may not. Of course, it’s easier for our mother to go along with the plan since she doesn’t have a career to worry about, but Aria does. Not only a career but a business too.
I park a few blocks from my old home, then text Les. When I get the all-clear from him, I weave my way through their neighbors’ lawns until I’m standing on the back patio. Standing in the blackness of night, I take a deep breath, then slip through the door. Emotion hits me hard, and my hands begin to shake. My brother is standing a few feet away, silently watching me, letting me battle for control.
The lighting is dim, but I can tell nothing’s changed. The scent, the feel of my childhood home is achingly familiar. The same lamp is sitting on the antique secretary’s desk my mom always used to write out her grocery lists. The same grandfather clock is standing next to the desk, waiting to announce the top of the hour. The kitchen is to my left, dark except for the light above the oven that Mom has always left on at night.
I can hear the women talking softly from the living room, and my heart squeezes tight. I look at Les, and he dips his head once, acknowledging my struggle. Reaching out, he grips my bicep in support. When I nod back, he releases me, holds up one finger, then disappears through the large double-sized doorway into the living room. I listen carefully to him speaking, but my eyes never stop soaking in the sights of my past.
“Mom. Aria. We need to talk for a minute,” Les states.
“About what’s going on with the family or something else?” Mom asks.
“Both. I don’t know how to say this to you, but things went down differently than we thought, were told, when Dad was sentenced. There’s… uh, well, we were lied to—"
“Stop!” Aria shouts, and I can clearly hear the anger in her voice.
“Aria, please, I have—” Les tries again.
“No! I don’t need to know what other way he died! I’ve accepted what we—” Aria continues, talking over Les, but this time, I hear an edge of panic in her voice.
“Aria! Please, honey. I need to hear what Les is trying to tell us,” Mom interjects.
“Then you listen, but I don’t need a new set of nightmares to live with! He’s dead, Mama. Does it matter how?” Aria asks in a desperate tone.
When I hear movement, I know Aria’s going to bolt out of the room. Decision made, I step into it. Les sees me first, but Mom’s eyes follow his immediately. Guilt, anger, sorrow, and emotions I don’t have a name for hit me hard. I watch the color drain from my mom’s face, and her hands fly to cover her mouth.
“Mom? What’s wrong? Mom?” Aria asks in concern when Mom remains deathly still, staring over my sister’s shoulder.
Lowering her hands from her face, Mom whispers raggedly, “Adriano.”
Aria remains still for a moment, then turns to see what has her mom and brother’s attention. When her eyes meet mine, she freezes. I move slowly, stiffly, into the room and stop a few feet away from their chairs.
Mom stands on shaky legs, then rushes toward me. I get my arms open in time for her body to crash into mine, pulling her in tight. I absorb her sobs and rest my chin on top of her head. I’ve made mistakes and hard decisions, but at this moment, every one of them was worth it.
“Adriano. Oh my God, my boy. Oh God, I’ve missed you,” Mom mumbles raggedly into my chest. She doesn’t ask how or why. She just clings to the son she thought was dead.
Lifting my head, I look at Les, then Aria. He has tears streaming down his face, unchecked, with no embarrassment. Aria hasn’t moved a single muscle, but her eyes are roving my features, probably looking for the brother she remembers. I’m not that person anymore. Not in appearance, mind, or soul, but I watch her silently while she searches for him.
Mom leans back and places her hands on both sides of my face. Looking down into her beautiful face, I feel a peace I haven’t felt in a long time. Mom pulls my head down and kisses both of my cheeks while her body continues to tremble.
“My boy,” she whispers.
“Missed you, Mom,” I whisper in return.
“Stop! Don’t you dare do that to her!” Aria shouts as she stands, reaching for our mother’s arm.
“Aria, please listen to me,” Les begs while reaching for Aria’s hand.
Aria jerks back as if she were burned and whirls to Les.
“Why are you going along with this shit? Why would you want to put her through it?” Aria says in a cutting tone.
Tucking Mom under an arm, I keep her close while addressing my nearly hysterical sister.
“Missed you too, Aria. So damn much. I can explain, but I get you need some time to accept the truth that’s standing in front of you. I—”
“No! No, no, no, no! Get out of this house! Go! You are NOT my brother! My brother would never have let his family think he was dead! My brother loved his family! My brother is dead! Why are you doing this to us?” Aria’s voice started out strong but ended in a tortured whisper.
After another moment of staring hard at me, she pushes between Les and me and bolts from the room. I can hear her feet running up the staircase and then a door slam. Looking at Les, I can see his indecision about following her.
“Let her be. Let her have some time alone,” Mom advises before stepping away from my side and turning to face me again. “You need to explain what happened and why you’re just now returning. I need to hear everything, but I haven’t forgotten anything about you, my son. You can talk while I warm up leftovers.”
I beat my mother and Les to the kitchen and sit at the small table we always used for breakfast. Without thought, I sit in the chair that was always mine. Mom notices because she pauses, smiles gently, then waves a hand in front of her wet eyes. I grin, then look toward the refrigerator hopefully. Les snorts before taking his own chair, and Mom starts pulling dishes from my favorite appliance.
The three of us talk for hours, covering several topics, from the why and how of my reappearance to where I’ve been to what I’ve been doing since leaving Chicago. Numerous times Mom’s eyebrows hit her hairline, once when I explained that I’ve become a biker and again when I explained about the federal agents and their role in what happened. I answer every question fully but stumble a bit when asked if I have a woman in my life. I tell them about Lucy, my feelings for her, and what I’d hoped would be our future, but how that’s changed now since I’ve left. Mom shakes her head insistently.
“No, Drew. A woman who loves with her whole heart will forgive most anything. If you love her like you say you do, you’ll find a way to regain her trust.”
I nod my head, not because I believe her, but because I don’t want to argue about it. I didn’t explain, though, that Lucy and I may never get the chance to work things out because I don’t expect to live that long. Les and I had agreed earlier to not go into too much detail about my plans. No sense in worrying the women after having “died” once already. I wonder now if I should have even let them know I was alive because if I don’t survive this, then they’ll have to go through all that pain again. Les vehemently disagreed, saying they deserved to know, and I went along with his opinion.
“How old was I when I fell out of my bedroom window, and you caught me by the shirt and pulled me back inside?” Aria asks suddenly from the doorway.
“Les was seven when he fell, and I caught him. You were sitting on the bed, ripping the heads off your Barbies because they were all blond, and you had decided to hate on blonds that week. He fell because he lunged to catch the heads because he knew you’d change your mind and be upset that you only had headless Barbies after that,” I answer without looking in her direction.
“Okay, that’s right. You could have been told that, though. How many stitches did Les get when you were teaching him to skateboard?” she continues in a defiant tone.
“You got eight in the back of your head because you were too stubborn to wear a helmet. Les never tried skateboarding. He stuck to bikes. Les broke his left arm in second grade because you dared him to jump his bike on a ramp you made. It collapsed, he wiped out, and we all got to go to the hospital while he got it set and cast. You broke your right arm when you were 10 when you fell off a horse at your friend’s house. You backed your car into Dad’s the day after you got your driver’s license, then tried claiming it was a mechanical failure. You also received three tickets for speeding the first month you had your license,” I explain while turning my head to look at her.
“Three? You only told me about one!” Mom exclaims.
“What was the name of our Pug?” Aria asks, completely ignoring Mom.
“Never had one. We had an English Bulldog, and his name was Mr. Smith. And I still think that was the stupidest name ever, but you insisted. Les and I gave in because we, along with our parents, spoiled you. Les wanted to name him Winston, and I wanted to call him Diesel. You got your way, and I think it damaged his soul because that dog was definitely a few fries short of a happy meal.”
“How come Les and I got injured as kids, but you never did?” she questions.
“Because I’m smarter than you two put together,” I answer, using the exact words I used many times when we were kids.
“And because he was usually inside emptying the fridge,” Les mutters with a grin.
“Oh, that brings up a great question. What’s your all-time favorite meal?” Aria asks with raised eyebrows.
“Whatever is being served at that moment.”
“What’s the one food you absolutely won’t eat?”
“Haven’t found one yet.”
“What was my first boyfriend’s name?”
“Toby, and he was a punk. Probably still is. You refused to listen to me and Les about how he wasn’t good enough for you, but you dumped him instantly when he called me fat.”
“Where did Les hide his pot from Mom and Dad?”
“Hey! Don’t throw me under the bus!” Les shouts when Mom’s head swings in his direction.
“At the bottom of your tampon box. He kept his bong in the hole in the wall he made at the back of his closet.”
“I hate both of you!” Les barks then groans when Mom slaps his leg.
“Who was my favorite band?”
“The Eagles, but you secretly loved the Bee Gees more.”
“What’s Les allergic to?”
“Bananas and penicillin.”
“Me?”
“Nothing but good behavior,” I answer and smile at Les and Mom’s laugh. “Any more questions, Aria, or am I your brother?”
My beautiful sister continues to stand in the kitchen doorway, staring hard at me for another moment.
“You might be.”
“I am, and I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m so sorry, honey. I get you’re mad, but please, don’t hate me forever. For a while, yeah, I’m okay with that. But not forever. Please, Aria. I can explain.”
“Don’t have to. I sat on the stairs and heard what you had to say. I don’t hate you, but I am angry about everything. I need to think about this. In the meantime, I have to go get ready for work.”
“We have things to talk about. Stuff that’s happening with the family and how it could affect you, Mom, and Les. Can you stay home today instead?” I ask hopefully.
“No, I can’t. I have appointments, and it’s a pain to reschedule so many. We can talk tonight when I get home around 5:30, though,” Aria responds.
“My little sister, the dentist. Proud of you, Aria. Brother’s a banker, and I’m a tow-truck-driving biker who shares the cab with a pig and a bird. Mom must be so proud,” I say with a grin.
“A dentist with her own practice,” she responds airily.
“I can’t show until after dark,” I inform her, turning serious again.
“Then we’ll plan dinner for 10:30 tonight. I’m sure Mom will want to make all your favorites, so we’ll have plenty of time to talk then,” Aria answers before turning and leaving the room.
“I have to go too. Got a few things to do, but I’ll be back tonight,” I say, standing.
Mom stands and moves in for a hug. She holds on to me a little longer than I expected but finally releases me when I drop a kiss on top of her head. Les walks me out the patio doors and watches as I slip away.