Twenty-Five
A s Prince Lorenz drew Cin toward the gardens, three of the other guests tried their best to interject, even the reluctant academic pressing forward to wave awkwardly for attention, but Cin’s prince gave them all a devilish smile.
With his free hand, he snatched the nearest guest’s, kissing it quickly then all but pushing her away as he shouted, “Patience! I’ll see one of you in bed for the rest of your days!”
The statement stung, but then the mask of flirtation with which Prince Lorenz said it dropped off the prince’s face the moment he turned toward the darkness of the garden, and Cin felt pained for them both.
The prince looked to Cin worriedly, “You know I don’t mean that?”
“You’re a rake, what can I expect?” Cin teased, but when it landed no better for Prince Lorenz than his own heart, he gave the prince’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Tell me when we’re free of them.”
Prince Lorenz looked relieved. How peculiar, that a man so brazen with his philandering would be so desirous of a chance to explain himself. He had been the one to choose this mask for himself, and yet…
Cin put the thought aside for the moment as Prince Lorenz pulled him to the right edge of the patio where it surpassed the bounds of the ballroom within, up against the castle where a bench pressed to the wall. Just above them to their left, the room had a tiny balcony.
Guests were already flowing out of the garden doors, a steady stream of crown’s watch casually slipping along the outside of their mass. Cin could see a few more along the garden’s periphery, servants walking between. It seemed the whole space was slowly being lit. They’d have to hurry.
Prince Lorenz glanced to the tiny balcony. “Can you?”
Cin didn’t wait for him to finish. He scurried up the wall, the magic of his shoes adding support as he paused halfway, holding to the balcony with one hand and pulling the prince up with the other.
It was sloppy work, but Prince Lorenz managed to slot his foot atop Cin’s for long enough to use Cin’s body as an extra handhold, dragging himself onto the balcony. Cin followed with far more ease.
The prince was panting, but he smiled as he stumbled through the balcony doors. “Those magic shoes of yours, they don’t also give you that strength, do they?”
“They’re sturdy, I suppose, and they won’t size to anyone else’s feet, but that is where their magic ends, I’m afraid.
” He felt proud of himself as he said it.
It was an odd sensation—the satisfaction in sharing something he’d used thus far in ways meant never to be known by anyone.
But here his prince was, knowing them. Knowing Cin.
And admiring. Cin grinned. “I climbed the ballroom balcony the first night without them.”
“You’re a wonder,” Prince Lorenz said, and kissed him.
It was a fleeting peck, and he took Cin’s hand again just after, guiding him quickly through the room—a parlor of sorts—and out, down the hall, moving away from the ballroom.
Cin could hear commotion coming from elsewhere in the castle, but Prince Lorenz seemed adept at avoiding it, taking Cin through servant corridors and into barely touched rooms that seemed they’d once been elegant before their contents had been stripped out.
It seemed even the royalty were not unaffected by the ongoing famine, whatever their current series of balls tried to claim.
As they moved, Cin finally broached the question the prince had seemed to so want to answer in the garden. “Why do you flirt with them?”
Prince Lorenz grimaced. “I don’t know,” he said, then groaned.
“It’s who I’m supposed to be—the rake. I suppose it’s the one skill I truly possess?
I can’t lead, and I can’t negotiate for peace, and I can’t give grand speeches that inspire a kingdom, but I can look one person—or two or three—in the eye and tell them what they want to hear about themselves.
Make them trust me, trust that I’ll please them in the moment, at least, and then…
well, usually I do that. Only now that feels like it would be a betrayal to you. ” He looked lost, his gaze distant.
Cin wished he could tell the prince that it wouldn’t be a betrayal when he finally jumped in bed with his future partner.
He should do his best to love them, if he was to be trapped with them for the rest of his life.
Cin would still be there, loving him in the ways that he could. They could both be happy.
But Cin didn’t believe that.
“If I cared at all for my country,” Prince Lorenz continued, shaking his head, “I should be at my own ball, using the skills I do have to find the person who can govern in my place, and I cannot even manage that.”
Cin raised his brow. “Are you so certain you need someone? Leading, negotiating, inspiring—none of those sound far off from what you’re already doing.”
The prince scoffed, but he looked a little less distraught after. “Are you saying I should hold an orgy with the whole kingdom?”
“If you wanted to scandalize us all, that would be better served by making your shirtless statues also trouserless.” Cin smirked.
“You know actually, I like that idea. I’ll have a special one placed just across the road from your bedroom window…”
“You’re still dodging the point,” Cin reminded him.
“The point of what? That I should be as capable as my brother and parents, and yet my only decent quality is getting myself into people’s pants?”
“You get people to look at you, to trust you. You connect with them.” He could see the prince already opening his mouth, but Cin cut him off, “And not just those you sleep with. You have rapport with those who serve in the castle and guard it—don’t deny that.”
“Why would I?” Prince Lorenz held up one hand. “They’re lovely people. I’m honored to call so many of them friends. But I cannot lead by making friends with the whole of Hallin.”
“And,” Cin continued as if he hadn’t objected, “you convinced your parents to let me go free, to let us stay friends, even.”
“They’re my parents .”
“They are the queen and king of Hallin.”
Prince Lorenz scoffed. As he did, the sound of annoyed voices echoed from further down the hallway, and he pulled Cin to the side, through a door into an unused suite with sheets draping the furniture.
By the sprawling room set up and attached servant chamber, Cin guessed they were nearing the living quarters of the royals themselves.
Prince Lorenz seemed not to care, pacing the length of the room almost mindlessly before Cin caught up to him, sliding an arm through his to pull him to a stop.
“Why does it hurt you to think you might be able to put the same skill you employ with your sexual conquests to use in other ways? Or that you already are?”
The prince shook his head, but he looked away.
His voice was low when he finally spoke again, his soul seeming adrift on a sea of confusion.
“As punishment for last week, my parents assigned me to meet with the locals in council—to hear grievances that we may address widely through better governance.”
Cin cupped the prince’s neck gingerly. “How did it go?”
Prince Lorenz shrugged. “It felt good to meet with the people—not to party with them or give speeches or act as ambassador on their behalf, but to simply sit with one or two and listen to their troubles. Perhaps I even managed to help a few of them.” His shoulders shifted like he was trying to shimmy his way out of a shrug. “It’s nice to believe so, anyway.”
“I’m certain you did. You have a gift for making people’s lives better,” Cin said, smiling softly. “You first saw me, awkward and alone, and despite my refusal to give you anything, you took it upon yourself to turn my night into something spectacular.”
Prince Lorenz snorted. “You were very handsome.”
“True. But there were plenty of other beautiful people in attendance.”
“How odd.” The prince’s voice shifted, going low and heavy. “Because all I see tonight is you.”
Cin’s heart jumped and fell, all at once.
He wanted to say, suddenly, but you would never choose me for the rest of your nights , like a barb tearing out of his throat from the rose he’d so desperately swallowed these past weeks.
Instead, Cin put on a weak smile, and as gently as he could manage, he replied, “You’ll have to be a little less blind by the end of the night.
It will be very hard to put a ring on the finger of your future partner if you are looking at me. ”
Despite all of Cin’s efforts, the prince still looked like he’d been slapped. “You know that I don’t want—” he started, but the energy seemed to rush out of him, and he turned his face away, sighing.
Gently, Cin asked, “What do you want?”
“I don’t know.” He looked so lost.
“Don’t you?” Cin tucked back a strand of the loose locks of the prince’s hair beneath his royal circlet. I’m right here , he wanted to scream, take my hand and walk away with me. Run if you have to. “If you could go anywhere, live any life, where would it be?”
“Before Alwin…” Prince Lorenz’s fingers constricted against his chest, as though he was clutching into the flesh itself. Pain tore across his face. He seemed to shake it off with a quick, sharp twitch of his head. “This is my life. I can’t be dreaming of another.”
It was an expression so familiar to Cin, ugly and demanding and, from what he could now see, mostly a lie. “But you could have so much more.”
Prince Lorenz only shook his head again and took a step back, falling out of Cin’s reach.
Cin followed him, cautiously. “Your Highness…”
“You don’t need to Your Highness me,” the prince grumbled, still not meeting Cin’s gaze. “I have a name, you know.”
“Prince Lorenz .” There was a little bite to his voice, and it seemed to snap the prince back to himself, if only partially.
“Ren,” he said, almost meeting Cin’s gaze for once. “My closest friends call me Ren.”