Chapter 20
Twenty
September 14
Clouds and fog fill the sky, and puddles are scattered across the driveway, leftovers from all the rain over the past few days. But at least the weather is clearing. Kind of like my bruises. They’re still noticeable remnants from the storm a week ago, but they’re healing. I feel better both physically and emotionally, and I know there are better days to come.
I have my boys. My baby girl is healthy and will be here before Thanksgiving. I have Suzanne and Sarah. And I have Jack, who hasn’t left my side.
Jack has proven how much he really cares about me. He was here, even if it was by chance, to help me fight back against Ben. From what the police have told me, not only was Ben very drunk, but he had also taken pain medications not prescribed to him.
I turn back to the dresser in the carriage house that has been my temporary home all summer. Most of my things have been packed in suitcases. I sweep my hand through the bottom drawer and my fingers stumble against a hard, smooth surface. My journal.
“Jack.” Looking down at my journal, I extend the book to him. “I want you to have this.”
A few moments pass and my arm starts to get heavy before Jack finally takes the book. “Isa, I don’t want your journal. These are your private thoughts.” Jack tries to hand it back to me. “Keep them private.”
“Jack.” I look up into his haint blues and step close. “I’m not this person anymore. I don’t even know who the person in this book is now.” I put my hands around his neck and bring my face close to his. A deep inhale fills my lungs with his scent before I exhale slowly. God, I missed being close to him.
“I understand, but without this person”—Jack indicates the journal—“ya wouldn’t be who ya are today. And I think you’re someone pretty amazing.”
I put my head on his shoulder. I want him to know that all is forgiven, that I never should have been mad at him. I should have sat down and talked with him. “I still want you to have it. Really. I want you to keep it.” I press myself as close as I can with a baby belly in the way. “That book is my past, but you’re my future.” I wink. “You can use it to write some songs.”
“I love you, Isa.” Jack returns my embrace, making me feel safe. Cherished. “Thank you for this. It really means a lot to me.”
“Write something good.” I smile, hoping the song isn’t about corn harvesters and coconuts. “I love you too, Jack.” Knotting my fingers in his hair, I pull his head down for a kiss. I nibble along his lips, trying a technique Suzanne showed me in one of her magazines. He groans and pushes his thigh between my legs. I rock against his leg, the friction feeling good on my clit.
And then the leg is gone and I’m nibbling on air.
“Wait! I have something for you too.” I open my eyes to see Jack reaching into his pocket. I release his hair and step back, giving him room to pull out…
“My necklace!” The starfish glitters as it swings from Jack’s hand. He undoes the clasp and reaches around my neck to connect the ends.
“I went for a walk this morning and found it where Ben tore it off you.”
“Thank you!” I rub the cool metal, feeling something settle in me I hadn’t realized was still disturbed. “I didn’t think I would see it again.”
“Luckily, he didn’t break the chain. It looks like the clasp released when he yanked it off.” Jack brushes my cheek gently. “I still want to have a jeweler take a look at it, but it seems okay.”
“Thank you for finding it.” I survey the apartment. “I have everything I need. Can we get out of Maine now?”
“Oh, yes we can!” He kisses me quickly. “Let’s get out of here.”
Jack is loading our last bags into the SUV. Cole is jumping in a puddle on the driveway, splashing water on Suzanne, who is standing too close. She seems too sad to say anything, just sidesteps to avoid getting drenched.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving.” Suzanne can’t hold back her tears anymore. When Cole sees her start to cry, he runs over and attaches himself to her leg.
“It’s okay.” Cole taps his little fingers on Suzanne’s leg to reassure her. My heart swells at witnessing his empathy. Cole will be okay too.
“Thank you so much, Suzanne. You’re a true friend.” I hug her tight. Cole squeezes her leg tighter too. Bits of blue break up the clouds. The weather is changing for the better. “I’m going to miss you. Please come down whenever you want. We certainly have plenty of room.”
“I’ll take you up on that.”
The clouds break quickly, and the sun casts our shadow on the wet pavement.
“When does Henry get home?”
Suzanne releases her grasp on me a little. “I think the end of the week?” She sighs, and I’m not sure whether it’s a good way or a bad way. “I don’t know; it always changes.”
“I’m sorry, Suzanne.”
“It’s okay.” Suzanne gives me a fake smile. “I’m getting used to it.”
Jack loads the last bag and slams the liftgate closed. “You guys ready to head out?”
Cole is still attached to Suzanne’s leg, and Suzanne is still attached to me.
“We have to go,” I say softly.
“I know.” Suzanne lets go of me and bends down to pick up Cole. “Come on, sweet boy. Let’s get you buckled in. You get to ride on an airplane today.”
Cole releases Suzanne’s leg and allows her to pick him up.
“I’m gonna miss you too, cutie.” Suzanne presses her nose to his.
Jack buckles Luke into his car seat as Suzanne fastens Cole into his.
Jack comes over and hugs Suzanne.
“Take care of her, or else,” Suzanne threatens as she squeezes Jack tight.
“That’s my intention,” Jack says.
Our goodbyes said, we leave for the airport. The sun has come out and all the clouds are gone. Everything is perfect. If ever there is a foreshadowing moment, this is it, and I love it.
We pull up to a gate at the airport. Not the regular terminal gate where you would check in for Southwest or United, but what looks like a maintenance entrance. Maybe where snowplows enter and exit the runways.
Jack rolls the window down when a security guard comes over. As soon as the guard sees who it is, he opens the gate and waves us through.
We drive over to a sleek jet with a palm tree-wrapped tail and the name of one of Jack’s hit songs—“Not Your Average Tan Line”—written across the belly of the plane.
“Yours?” I ask, just to confirm.
Jack nods.
Of course it is.
A handsome man, his skin nicely tanned, walks over as Jack gets out of his rental car.
“Hey there, Pilot Pete,” Jack says as he shakes the pilot’s hand.
I get out and join my boyfriend. “Pete, this is Isa. She’s flying with us today. So are those young men in the back seat.”
Pete walks over to the open window and bends down to peer in at Cole and Luke. “Hi, guys! Are you ready to go up in the plane?”
Cole squeals and kicks his legs, and Luke hops out of his booster after unbuckling his seat belt. He pushes in front of Cole to get closer to Pete, who talks to the boys while another crew member unloads our luggage and stows it in the belly of the plane.
Jack holds my hand as he walks me around the outside, pointing out different features of the Embraer ERJ145. When we’re finished with the tour, we return to the car and release the boys. Once out of the car, Luke and Cole take off, racing to the plane. I laugh, enjoying their enthusiasm and excitement. Joy bubbles up inside me, light and effervescent. It’s a new experience—one I hope I never forget.
We climb the short flight of stairs into the jet. Cole insists on taking each step on his own. It’s easy to forget he’s had a birthday and he’s no longer my little toddler. But then I look at him and see all the time we were apart. Those bubbles aren’t so full anymore.
Inside the jet, we’re greeted with luxury. Palm trees are embossed into the rich brown leather headrests on the oversized swivel recliner-style seating. A large leather sofa faces a movie screen. Plush white carpeting covers the floor from wall to wall, even under tables with place settings and napkins folded into starfish. This is just what I see walking on, and I’m sure there’s a lot more. I’ve been on a commercial jet only twice, and never a private one.
Pete pops his head in and asks the boys if they would like to sit in the cockpit. “I may need some more copilots,” he explains. They jump at the chance. I’m shocked they’re not shy around anyone.
Jack and I are alone. “The boys are great. They’ll love the island,” Jack says as we watch the boys soak up knowledge about dials and gauges and whatever else Pete requires to fly the jet.
“Thank you again.” I turn and wrap my arms around his neck. “I want this to work. I want us to work.”
Jack’s hands on my waist pull me close to him. “Thank you for giving me a chance.” He leans forward and brushes his lips across my forehead.
“That’s it? That’s all I get?” I stick my lower lip out like a little girl who’s been denied the toy she wants.
“Stop doing that. Ya still look adorable.” He grazes the edge of my lip with his thumb.
“Not gonna.”
Jack shakes his head and lets out a deep, resonant groan. “Why do you do this to me?”
He draws me closer, aligning our bodies while tenderly cradling my face in his hands. He guides my lips to his—a sweet mingling of tastes, the softness of lips, the warmth of our embrace and the cadence of our racing hearts—I’m melting; this is where I’m supposed to be. This is where we are supposed to be.
“Excuse me, Mr. Kendall.” One of the crew members has brought the car seats back to where we’ll sit. “I need to install these before we get going.”
Jack pulls away, but keeps his eyes locked on mine. “Thank ya, Austin.”
Austin clips the boys’ car seats in and disappears out the door again.
As he leaves, Luke and Cole come barreling in from the cockpit and almost knock us over with hugs. They’re followed by a grinning Pilot Pete. I wonder whether he has kids, or perhaps he’s a doting uncle.
“Are ya guys pilots now?” Jack asks Luke. “Do I need to put ya on my payroll?”
“They sure like to push buttons! And there are a lot of buttons to push up there.” Pete messes up Luke’s hair, indicating Luke may have pushed a few. “We should be ready to depart in about twenty minutes. Annie should be here in a few minutes.”
“Did someone say my name?” A gorgeous blond flight attendant takes the final step into the plane and joins us. Her starched uniform is so stiff and crisp, it looks as though she’d break if she fell over. “Hello, Mr. Kendall.”
“Hi, Annie. Did ya have a nice time visiting Maine?”
“I sure did!” Her Southern twang emphasizes did . Annie introduces herself to me and then busies herself preparing the cabin for takeoff.
Jack and I buckle the boys into their seats. I double-check to make sure the boys’ seats are in fact fastened securely, and once I’m satisfied, buckle myself in next to Jack. I can finally rest. I have everything I want now. Everyone is safe and we can all heal. Together.
“Thank you.” The words come out as barely a whisper. “Thank you for all of this.”
“You’re welcome,” Jack says. He gives a gentle squeeze to my hand, and I snuggle close for the four-hour flight to St. Thomas.
The boys fall asleep almost immediately, and Annie keeps us adults fed and hydrated. Finally, Pete uses the intercom to announce we we’ll be landing in a half hour.
“I can’t believe the boys slept the whole flight,” Jack remarks. They’re sleeping without a care in the world.
“He did us a favor, you know?”
“Who did?”
“Ben. He did us a favor.”
“How? By beating ya?
“Jack, I would have taken a bullet for these boys if I had to. Think about the big picture. This couldn’t have happened any differently and had a better, faster outcome.” I raise my palm toward Jack’s look of skepticism. “You and I didn’t get seriously hurt, Ben is indefinitely incapacitated, everyone sees him for who he really is, and I have the boys back.
“My baby is healthy. You and I are together. We’re leaving Maine to start a life together.” Jack reaches up and touches one of my fading bruises. “I know there are a few loose ends and I’ll need to come back and finish dealing with them, but all in all, everything has worked out just fine.”
Jack becomes serious, and the haint-blue strengthens in his irises. “No one will ever lay a finger on you again.”
“Once I have the baby, I’d like to take lessons with Zeus. Do you think he could teach me how to defend myself? It just so happened that I bit my tongue when Ben attacked; otherwise, my mouth was dry. I can’t promise to bite my tongue the next time I’m scared.”
“Yeah, sure. That’s a great idea. What do ya think about having Zeus teach the boys a martial art? It’s good for self-regulation, but who knows when they might need to defend themselves too.”
“Thanks. I’ll feel better if I know that they know how to be safe.”
“Me too. I love your children, Isa, because I love their mother.”
The joy bubbles take flight again, as effervescent as ever. I throw myself into Jack’s arms and cuddle there, trading grins with him until Pete reminds us to buckle our seat belts, and then we’re banking for the approach to St. Thomas.
The sky is clear, so no clouds obstruct my view of the shimmering waters of the Caribbean Sea. I’m yearning to get off the plane, to take the ferry to St. John, and to finally be where I belong.
Our landing on St. Thomas is smooth. Jack and I wake the boys and got them into the Expedition that’s waiting for us. “I’ll send someone for the rest of our things,” he says. “Let’s take our family home.”
“I had the staff set up a room for the boys.” Jack opens the large door across the hall from where we sleep. We step into the beautiful room with views of the ocean. “I hope this is okay.”
I just walked into a Pottery Barn Kids catalog. “This is a little too much.”
“I told Gabrielle to get two bunks because I know that eventually each boy might want the top.”
Two sets of navy blue bunks. Toys neatly organized and displayed throughout the space. A large sea-themed rug in in the middle of the room to play on. Framed sea-animal prints lining the walls. The linens on the beds are cheerful and covered with starfish and sharks. I would have loved to have a room like this while growing up.
I call the boys, who were flinging themselves onto the huge couches in the living room and giggling up a storm, and they come racing into the room. Where they stop in their tracks.
“This is your room,” Jack says in his serious voice, his drawl gone without a trace. “Do you think the two of you will be okay in here?”
“Oh, yes,” Luke says, nodding his head vigorously. “This is all for me and my brother?”
“For now,” Jack answers. “In a few years down the road, when you’re old like us, we’ll see about getting you each your own room. How about that?”
“Uh, no,” Luke sings, drawing out the second word as if he’s having to correct silly children. “Cole and I won’t stay until we’re old. We’ve got important things to do.”
“Oh?” This is news to me.
“Uh-huh. I’m gonna go to school and learn to read so I can make a million trillion dollars so me and Cole don’t have to go away again.”
“My boy!” Tears are flowing down my cheeks as I sink to the floor in front of my son. Even in the toxic environment that was the Cushing household, Luke has managed to maintain his purity of spirit. I throw my arms around him and hold him close. Eventually, he squirms, and I release him.
“Come on, Cole! Let’s play aliens and monster trucks.”
As my two oldest children scamper around the room, inspecting all the nooks, crannies, and closets in their hunt for invaders, I join Jack in the hallway. His arm slides around my waist and he whispers in my ear, “I can get used to this.”
“The boys?”
“Having a family. Being happy.” His soft lips brush against my cheek. “We all deserve to be happy.”
“Thank you.” His stubble scratches the top of my head as I nuzzle under his chin and watch the boys explore their new room.
“For what?”
“For everything. For not giving up on me.”
“Never.”