Chapter 3
3
C innamon sat on the main house front porch where her cousin JW Whiskey and his lovely wife, Kitty, lived. Their two toddlers, Cheye and Manny, ran around the front yard. It brought so many emotions to Cinnamon’s soul. She missed her little girl so badly. Rosy would have been fourteen. Hard to believe.
“Here you go.” Kitty handed her a tall glass of lemonade. She eased into one of the Adirondack chairs and sipped her beverage.
Cinnamon had only met Kitty once and it hadn’t been under the best of circumstances. “Your kids are so adorable.”
“They’re on their best behavior today, but trust me, they can sometimes be holy terrors.” Kitty brushed her red hair from her face. “I don’t know if Austin or JW told you any of what I went through with my ex-husband.”
“Only that your ex had done some shady things.”
“That’s an understatement.” Kitty laughed. “It was a difficult time and there were moments that I wasn’t sure I’d get through it.” She leaned forward. “I don’t pretend to understand what you’re going through. My ex-husband hit me once. His abuse was more emotional. However, I’m happy to listen if you ever want a girl to chat with. I know how overpowering, though well meaning, some of your male cousins can be.”
“That’s putting it mildly.” Cinnamon raised her glass. “I feel lighter now that everyone knows I’ve left, filed for divorce, and am here. But it’s all nerve-racking now that Pete’s been bailed out and no one has seen him since then. I worry he’s lurking in some bush, waiting to attack.”
“We have hired extra security and JD, JB, Luke, and Irish are all installing more cameras around the ranch as we speak. No one will get on the property without us knowing about it.”
“Not to mention I don’t think Austin will leave my side.” Cinnamon wasn’t sure what to do about that. She appreciated his concern and she was the one to go to him for help. Her feelings for him had never died. Waking in his bed, alone, had been both a blessing and a curse. She would have wanted to kiss him, and maybe more if he’d been there.
That’s the last thing she needed.
This entire mess began because she’d jumped into bed with Pete before things had truly ended with Austin. The cause and effect of her actions had always left her with a major moral dilemma. She couldn’t wish her daughter away. She’d never regret those three beautiful years.
However, in some ways, it had robbed her of a life with Austin.
Maybe.
She’d never know now.
“Or Gage.” Kitty pointed to the handyman working on the fence in the distance. “When he heard you were going to be here this morning, he asked if he could work on the fence versus other projects.”
Cinnamon laughed. Some people found Gage to be an odd man. And maybe he was a little. He’d always had a fondness for her and followed her around like a little lovesick puppy. The few times she’d come home, he’d shown up with handpicked flowers. It was a sweet gesture, one that Pete hated and he’d let Gage know. Pete treated Gage like he was a weirdo or a pervert.
Whereas Austin accepted Gage’s kindness and often encouraged it. Gage would nod and smile and say, Yes, Mr. Sawyer. I understand. I just want to make the ladies here smile.
And that’s what Gage did. It wasn’t just Cinnamon who got special treatment from Gage. It was everyone. He was a kind man who had lost his family in a tragic fire. He’d always been a bit odd, even before his family died. However, there was a story there and if anyone had ever cared to sit down and chat with Gage, they’d understand why he was different.
“He’s such a sweet old man,” Cinnamon said.
“When I first moved to the ranch, he used to bring me daisies every day. He’d tell me what a bitch JW’s ex-fiancée Bella was and how I brightened up the place. Now he brings the kids little toys every couple of weeks. I wish I could tell him to stop because he’s spoiling them, but it’s not like they are expensive. Half the time they are handmade.”
“His story makes me want to cry,” Cinnamon said. “The way his family died and all. His daughter Ashley was like him—on the spectrum. She was my friend and it always made me sad the way others often treated her.”
“He’s made this ranch his home. I just wish more people treated him better.” Kitty sighed. “Austin’s ex-fiancée was such a mean girl. I hate to say it, but I was thrilled when she left and Gage did a little jig when she drove that fancy car that Austin had bought her away. But now he feels guilty because we still have no idea what happened to her. It haunts Austin.”
“I can’t understand how anyone would believe he could kill a person.” Cinnamon shook her head. “Although, I did watch him beat the crap out of his dad and his ex-brother-in-law once. It wasn’t a pretty sight and it’s a side of him I never want to see again.”
“I forgot the two of you were an item.”
“We started dating—if you could call it that—when I was twelve and he was fourteen. We broke up when I was nineteen. Right before I married Pete. But even when Austin and I were in grade school, we were attached at the hip. He was my best friend before he became my boyfriend. Losing him was one of the hardest things—outside of the death of my daughter—that I’ve ever gone through.”
“You know, if it’s too weird to stay with him, you’re welcome here with JW and me.”
“Thank you. JB told me the same thing. But everyone has little kids and if Pete does manage to get on the ranch, I wouldn’t want to expose any of the children to his craziness. For now, I’ll remain at the cabin with Austin.” Cinnamon had given a lot of consideration to JB and Cheyenne’s offer. Being so close to Austin made her want to forget the last fifteen years. Her heart ached to be with him in ways she didn’t understand, nor did she want to examine.
The drive from Idaho Falls to Buhl had been filled with thoughts of the past mixed with emotions she didn’t know she had. At first, she chalked it up to the idea she hadn’t seen Austin in fifteen years, but the second she laid eyes on him, the love she had felt for him all those years ago flooded her heart. It was as if it had been hidden in a vault and leaving Pete had been the key to unlocking it.
However, her battle had just begun.
Even with the charges that Pete faced, he wasn’t going to let her go easily. Pete didn’t like to lose and he viewed her as a trophy.
“That man has been through a lot,” Kitty said. “Agent Belmont comes around about once a month, asking him questions about Charity’s disappearance.”
“Austin wouldn’t ever hurt a woman.”
“We know that, but others have painted a very different story.”
“Austin mentioned that, but I still struggle with anyone believing that. If they know his history, they’d understand why he could never.”
Kitty leaned back and glanced toward the door. “Austin and JW won’t be thrilled with me telling you this. If you google it, you’ll find articles and blogs about it. There’s more out there about him as a potential murderer than there is about the other man whom Charity was involved with.” Kitty held up her hand. “It doesn’t matter that there have been a few holes poked in Tom’s story, not to mention that Tom doesn’t really believe Austin did it anymore and that Cathy—a friend of Charity’s—had stated she was going to meet Charity for drinks, but the bartender said he never saw Cathy at that bar waiting for her friend. Which is weird, right?”
“It does sound strange, but I honestly haven’t read much on the story other than she went missing.” Tears burned Cinnamon’s dry, swollen eyes. “Pete controlled many things in my life, including the amount of time I spent on the computer and he often took my phone. The last two years were the worst.”
Kitty’s face hardened. Her lips pursed and she clasped her hands in her lap. “My ex-husband was a controlling bastard. He used his money and power to manipulate me. It wasn’t as bad as what you’re describing. However, there’s one thing I know, having been in that situation, and that is it takes a little space to gather enough courage to be completely done. You can’t have any contact with him. If he calls, don’t answer, because he’s eventually going to change from being a total asshole to being as sweet as a peach.”
“Oh, trust me. I know.” Cinnamon nodded. “The first time he hit me, he apologized the second it happened. He spent weeks making it up to me. And it didn’t happen again for months. He even went to a counseling session. But then something happened and the next time it wasn’t a slap; it was a punch in the gut and it took him two days to say he was sorry.” She wiped a tear that dribbled down her cheek. “The escalation was slow, but I’m so done. He’s so far gone that there is no turning back. Pete’s dangerous and I know if I were to ever return, I’d end up in a body bag and that’s no way to honor my baby girl's short life.”
Kitty reached out and took Cinnamon’s hand. “If you ever want someone to talk to, I’m here for you.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.” Cinnamon sipped her drink and waved to Gage who smiled and waved back. “I will need to find something to do once I feel a little better and get these stitches out. Otherwise, I’m going to go mad. I can’t sit on my ass and do nothing. Pete wouldn’t allow me to work and it made me feel like I was useless. I hate that feeling.”
“My ex was the same way. When I left, the first thing I did was go back to school.” Kitty jerked her head toward the house. “JW and I had a long-distance relationship for a while so I could finish my bachelor’s degree. It wasn't easy with me still living in Baltimore, but he was super supportive. And now I have the education facility here at the ranch.”
“I’ve always wanted to be a teacher.” More tears burned a path down her face. “I had been going to college locally to become a preschool educator while I waited for Austin to return. But things didn’t work out.”
“He’s never talked about what happened.”
Cinnamon chuckled. “That is a long and convoluted story.”
“Curiosity killed this Kitty.”
“Oh my God. You did not just say that.” Cinnamon shook her head. Pete had isolated her from her family. She’d missed all her cousins’ weddings. The births of their children. Hell, this was the first time she was meeting some of them. She hated him for taking this away from her and loathed herself for allowing it to happen. “I’ll try to break it down into a short tale.”
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“No. It’s okay. But I’m sure my version is a bit different from Austin’s.”
“That’s always the case.”
Cinnamon set her drink on the table and let out a long breath while she gathered her thoughts. “When Austin’s father died by suicide, it affected him deeply. He always tried to tell himself that he had no feelings for his dad. I kept telling him that he did. That there was a hint of love in his heart. It was his father and his dad did show up to football games. He took him fishing. He never hit Austin until Austin was in college, but that was only because Austin, as an adult, couldn’t stand there and let his father beat the crap out of his mom. He was also dealing with his sister who married an abusive man. The cycle had been handed down.”
“That’s rough.”
“The truth was that Austin was afraid he would be like his dad because he does have a temper.”
“I’ve never seen it,” Kitty said. “He’s always so zen.”
Cinnamon laughed. “Trust me. Austin can be jealous and if he sees a wrong when it comes to a woman, he has no problem stepping in. His father refused a plea deal and the case went to trial. Austin had to testify. That was the beginning of our problems because Austin was conflicted. His testimony helped put his father away for twenty years. When his dad died, he left a note blaming Austin. But it wasn’t just the blame. The comparison of how they are alike started Austin on this weird path. He pulled away from me. He stopped coming home as often. He broke up with me, and then he’d want me back. I’d end it with him, and then he’d come home and things were good. This went on for almost a year. Meanwhile, I had Pete in my ear, telling me how he’d make for a better boyfriend. He’d buy me lavish gifts and he was always there when I needed him.”
“Oh shit,” Kitty said. “Sounds like he tossed over a line with the right bait.”
“You could say that, but Austin wasn’t helping, and one night on the phone, we got into a big fight and I told him to fuck off. That we were done. I saw Pete that night, went to bed with him, and got pregnant. The weird part was that Austin wasn’t all that pissed at me when he came home and found out. His rage was directed at Pete.”
“Do you think he knew what kind of man Pete was?”
Cinnamon shrugged. “Maybe. He has good radar that way. He offered to raise the baby as his own, but once I decided to marry Pete, Austin walked away and I never heard from him. Not one phone call. Nothing.”
“No offense, but what did you expect him to do?”
“I suppose exactly what he did. He felt I had given up on us, but I had been feeling that way for the last year. I was young and stupid and he was pigheaded and hurting over his father. It was a series of events that we—at the time—didn’t have the tools to deal with.”
“Hindsight is always perfect vision,” Kitty said. “How do you feel seeing him now?”
Cinnamon glanced toward the sky. A flock of birds flew overhead. She focused on them for as long as she could while sorting through all the emotions. “So much is going on in my life right now. I’m scared about what Pete will do while he’s out awaiting trial because he’ll be like Austin’s father. He’ll fight as if he did nothing wrong. An uncontested divorce in this state only takes sixty-two days, but he’ll fight that too, so it could take a while. But I have to admit, I do still have feelings for Austin.”
“We all know he cares very deeply for you,” Kitty said.
“He’s said that?” Cinnamon’s heart fluttered like the first time Austin took her hand while they walked across the ranch. She’d been all of twelve. He whispered in her ear about how much he liked her and how pretty she looked.
“Not to me. And I don’t know if he’s mentioned it to JW or any of your cousins, but ever since he’s moved back here, he’s always asking if anyone has talked to you or if we knew what was happening with you and Pete. Once, he did it at the dinner table with Charity sitting right next to him.” Kitty laughed. “She got up and walked out the door and Austin let her go without saying a word. That’s when we knew he didn’t want to be with her.”
“How long after that did she leave?”
“Not for another month. We had no idea she’d been cheating on him. He didn’t tell us until after she left,” Kitty said.
“I wonder why he kept that to himself.”
“He told us later it was because he wanted to confront her first. He did that and she left the next day.” Kitty sighed. “Sadly, she’s been missing for a year. Austin hired a private investigator to look into her disappearance but has found nothing. Gage watched her drive away. She stopped at a gas station not far from here, but after that, no one has seen her or heard from her since.”
“That’s terrifying.”
“There has been no sign of her, but every once in a while, an anonymous tip comes into the Feds, leading them right to Austin,” Kitty said. “We truly hope they find her—and that she’s okay—but it’s not looking good.”
“I just wish the spotlight wasn’t on Austin. He’s a good man with a big heart.”
“For the most part, he takes it all in stride, but occasionally, he loses his shit.”
“I’m sure he does.”
Kitty glanced at her watch. “I hate doing this to you, but I must get to work.” She stood. “Hey. I have a great idea. One of the girls in the infant room will be leaving soon on maternity leave and you don’t need a degree. I need to be official and do a background check, but I’m happy to hire you as a fill-in if you’d like. The position will open up in a week and I haven’t found anyone yet.”
“Are you serious?”
“I wouldn’t joke about that.” Kitty smiled. “It’s a temp position. But if you’re going to stay at the ranch and would consider going back to school, I might be able to find you a more permanent gig.”
Cinnamon had no idea what her future held or even if Whiskey Ranch would be a part of it, much less getting the degree she’d always felt robbed of, but her soul came to life at the thought. “I’d love to take the temp job. How do we go about getting the paperwork started?”
“Come by the education facility when you can. I’ll be there most of the day, but my assistant will have it if I’m out. As soon as it’s filled out, I’ll file it and once I get it back, you can start. It should only take three business days.”
“I’ll be by later this morning.” She rose and hugged Kitty. “Thank you so much.”
“Anything for family.” She put her forefinger and thumb to her mouth and gave a big whistle. “Let’s go, kiddos. Time for school.”
Her two children came flying up the porch steps, ran a circle around her legs while giggling, and then raced right through the front door, Kitty following one step behind.
For the first time in a long while, Cinnamon believed her life could actually turn around.
Austin leaned against the counter in JW’s kitchen and took the cup of coffee that JW offered.
“Well, last night sounds exciting,” JW said.
“Not sure that’s the word I’d use to describe it.” Austin chuckled. “I was a little gobsmacked to see Cinnamon standing on my front stoop at one in the morning, and then it took every ounce of energy I had not to get in my truck and drive to Idaho Falls.”
“Knowing you, thoughts of beating the crap out of Pete danced in your head like sugar plums.”
“Exactly.” Austin nodded in agreement. “If he does show up here, we all better hope he and I don’t cross paths because my blood is on fire.”
“So is mine.” JW filled his mug and pulled back a stool at the island. “You told me she was in bad shape, but you didn’t prepare me for what her face looked like.”
“At least she’s not making excuses for Pete anymore.”
“I can’t believe she let it go on this long.” JW rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m so mad at myself for not being a better cousin.”
“Trust me when I say there’s not a lot you could have done. My mom stayed with my dad on and off for nearly twenty-five years. My sister left her first husband because I landed myself in county lockup for beating the shit out of him. Had I not done that, who knows how long she might have stayed before either the worst happened or she had enough. Abuse is tricky, and victims are beaten down emotionally to the point they have no voice.”
JW laughed. “I know that’s not funny, but I’ll never forget me and JD picking you up that morning. You were quite proud of yourself and at the same time, you looked as though you’d swallowed a lemon.”
“I should regret my actions. But I don’t. And now she’s married to Brad, which is still weird as fuck.”
“Yeah. They make for an odd couple.”
“They’re happy and that’s all that matters.” Austin peered through the house. He wished he could see out the door to the porch. Better yet, he wanted to hear what Kitty and Cinnamon discussed. He was glad Cinnamon was back where she had a major support network.
And protection.
Pete wouldn’t last two seconds if he set foot on Whiskey Ranch.
“How are you holding up? It has to be strange to see Cinnamon after all these years,” JW said.
“That’s the understatement of the century, and yet, in an odd way, it’s like no time has passed.”
“I have to ask. Why did she go to you and not her family?” JW raised his hand. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m simply glad she’s here, so it doesn’t really matter. But I am a little butt hurt that she didn’t feel comfortable coming to me. Or Irish. She’s the closest to him.”
“Well, I know Irish had some pretty harsh words for her the last time they spoke and as for you or the rest of your siblings, it has more to do with her fear that Pete will come and cause a scene in front of the children. Or worse. Not to mention the shame she feels.”
“Damn. I hate that we made her feel that way.”
“It’s not you. It’s the nature of abuse,” Austin said. “I lived it my entire life. There were times I thought my dad beat my mom because of me. That if I somehow was a better kid, he wouldn’t do it. I know that’s crazy, but to a small child, when you hear your father say things like, you’re making our kids pansies, or Austin would be a better linebacker if you didn’t coddle him so much, or my all-time favorite, I’m not even sure I’m their dad .”
“I can’t tell you how many times your dad almost lost his job. The only reason Chuck Holland or my grandparents kept him on was because of you and Tina.”
“I’m well aware of that fact and completely grateful for so many reasons. Growing up here gave me so many opportunities.” He pointed toward the front door. “One of them is sitting out there. Only I fucked that up royally.”
“She made her share of mistakes, like sleeping with Pete.”
“I forgave her for that the moment it happened.” Austin rubbed his temple. “I wasn’t a saint either. I said some horrible things to her the night that happened. Not to mention I slept with someone else too and she knew about it. But she broke my heart when she married that prick. I would have taken care of her and her little girl.”
“Watching Rosy die of cancer was the worst. That was the only time we were ever allowed to be part of their lives. I thought for sure she’d leave him and come home. But things went downhill from there.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for cutting all ties to this ranch, this family, or her for so long.” Austin downed his coffee in three gulps. It burned his belly. “She says she’s done and I believe her. I hope Pete gets what he deserves.”
The front door flew open.
“Daddy!” Cheye came running into the kitchen and flung herself at JW. “Mommy says it’s time for school.”
“Then I guess we better finish getting ready.” He leaned over and kissed his little girl on the cheek. “Go upstairs and I’ll be there in a second to help you brush your teeth.”
“Uncle Austin.” Manny tugged at Austin’s pant leg. “Look.” He held out a frog.
“I don’t think your mama would appreciate that thing in her house.” Austin laughed.
“No, she would not.” JW leaned over and scooped up Manny. “Let’s take that out back. Next time you’ll go to bed without a snack. Got it, kiddo?”
“Yes, sir.” Manny frowned.
Austin bit his lower lip to keep from cracking up.
“What’s so funny?” Kitty appeared in the kitchen.
“Absolutely nothing.” Austin snagged his Stetson from the table. “Where’s Cinnamon?”
“Still sitting on the front porch.” Kitty curled her fingers around Austin’s biceps. “Please make sure she comes by the educational center today. I offered her a temp job. But also, the deadline to enroll in fall classes at the local college is in three weeks. Encourage her to do it. I know she’s hurting and a lot is going on, but the sooner she moves on with her life, the faster she’ll heal. It will also help her gain the strength and confidence she needs to get through what’s coming next.”
Austin kissed Kitty’s cheek. “You’re a good woman, Kitty Whiskey.”
“That has always had such an odd ring to it.”
“I used to tease Cinnamon about her name. I mean, come on, Cinnamon Cider Whiskey?” He smacked his forehead. “Have you ever had one of those drinks? They are gross, unlike the woman who bears the name. Speaking of which, I should go. Letting her sit and overthink might not be a good idea.”
“Agreed.” Kitty smiled. “Call us if you need anything.”
He adjusted his hat and headed toward the door. JW and the other cousins decided that Austin would take time off work and stay with Cinnamon. No one wanted her alone and Austin was all too willing to take on the responsibility.
It was the least he could do.