Chapter 15 Present Day
PRESENT DAY
OSCAR
Oscar parked his car, stumbled down a short pathway to the lake, and sat on the gravel bar next to the water. He rested his elbows on his knees, and he squeezed on his forehead with his fingertips, as Buki lay next to him, pressed against his leg.
Exhausted, hurt, angry, confused—all those emotions caught up to him. Perhaps Pat’s musing about being unlucky in love had passed down into Oscar’s life, a defect in the genetic code, a misplaced molecule, an anomaly causing the paternal line to experience torment.
How dare the universe throw such hand grenades at me?
Oscar had never felt so alone. Why had everyone betrayed him?
Life itself may have been the greatest conspirator, and if his mother’s beliefs held true, then the God she believed in, this flawless creator of perfect lives, had, at the very least, ignored him or, at the worst, created this agony.
Oscar’s world spun off axis, and he just wanted it to stop so he could get off this whirling carnival ride.
Not knowing what to do or where to go, he’d come to a deserted turnout overlooking Flathead Lake. With the Mission Mountains rising behind him and the depths of the crystal-clear lake in front of him, his body and his mind had shut down and refused to let him go any further.
How could Caroline and Ben do to him what they did? If she professed her love and accepted his proposal for marriage, how could she betray him with such ease? How could his own family hide such deep secrets? How could his mom…? How could his best friend stab him in the back so easily?
Oscar’s agony consumed him and bullied him into shedding tears—uncontrollable sobs—sobs into weeping, and weeping into wailing, until Oscar fell back on the gravel, and the secrets and betrayal no longer danced on his chest, and there were no more tears to cry.
Buki pressed into Oscar, helping him fight his demons.
Oscar sat up and hugged his dog. What in the world am I going to do?
He could head back to Glacier for a few days, but his body was too exhausted to set up camp or even hit the trail for one of his favorite hikes. “Back to Missoula?” he huffed out. Hi Caroline and Ben. How’s it going? Hi Mom and Dad. What’s new in your life?
Oscar picked up a flat stone and skipped it across the water.
When he’d left his biological father, Oscar had been dazed and confused by his kindness, as well as frustrated and angry by the hurt the man had put in motion twenty-five years ago. And then there was the sword.
Pat seemed nice enough, but Oscar had no reserve to start a new relationship with a man he knew so little about. But who, in the mysteries of life, had given him half of his DNA, and if looks reflected anything, maybe more than half. And two new sisters? Oscar’s mind couldn’t even go there.
After giving Oscar the sword, Pat told him that Colonel William Hoshed, his paternal great-grandfather, grew up in California, and left home to join the army at seventeen.
He attended West Point, served in World War II, raised Pat after losing his own son to Vietnam, and was buried with military honors in Missoula.
At least that part of Oscar’s stock came from this honorable man. The Army had awarded him a purple heart and a bronze star for heroism. This man must have known something about recovering from grief. Right now, Oscar had no idea how to do this.
And what do I do with two fathers? A weird combination of anger and compassion shared space in his head.
The father who had raised him understood betrayal.
The father who had given him life understood being a bastard son.
Both had carved out successful lives despite the setbacks.
Had they dealt with their grief or just pushed through it?
And Caroline. Why?
Oscar sighed and tossed another rock into the water. This one failed to skip and landed with a splash. Could he ever forgive her? After all, she had the qualities that attracted him from the beginning…charm, beauty, and undeniable charisma. And funny, definitely funny.
Buki whined and pawed at Oscar’s arm.
Oscar noticed Buki’s concern and patted his pup’s head. “You’re right, Buki. How could I be so blind? So trusting? I almost encouraged her to spend time with Ben, and she could have been nicer to you.”
Buki barked, agreeing with him.
Oscar let go a yell from the depth of his soul that reverberated off the mountains, spread ripples over the water, and got swallowed by the deep lake.
His head pounded. In fact, every cell of his body ached from physical and emotional pain.
He rubbed his knuckles into his chest, trying to massage some of the heartache away.
And how could Ben do this to me?
Was it just sex? Oscar and Caroline had their intimacy, but sex didn’t seem that important to Caroline. Or was it? Maybe it’s me?
He shook his head. This was no way to start a life together. He could never trust her again. Marrying a girl he didn’t trust was no way to live. But will I ever find someone to capture my heart like she did? Maybe he would just end up alone.
Tears filled his eyes and he slumped his face into his hands.
He loved Caroline, but he could never go back.
He owed it to himself to move forward. Can I ask for the engagement ring back?
The ring he really couldn’t afford in the first place.
The one thing he knew for certain was that he should not go see her right now.
He might fall prey to her seduction, and that would not be helpful.
Oscar’s phone buzzed. Caroline had quit calling hours ago, but he expected to see her number come up. He pulled it from his front pocket and looked at the screen. A text from his father, the one who raise him, appeared: “Son, we’re awful worried about you. Can you give one of us a call?”
Oscar scrolled through the log and calls from his mom and dad took off where Caroline’s calls ended. He touched on the text from his dad and typed a response. “I’m fine. Up at Flathead trying to figure things out. Will call when I’m ready.”
His dad’s reply came right back, as if he had been holding the phone. “Thank God, son. I’m sorry about all the mess.”
The message forced another tear into Oscar’s eye.
The phone vibrated from an incoming call. Frustrated, he almost shut it down without looking, but he glanced at the phone. He stared at the screen for an instant, not sure what to do. It read: Sensei Doctor Richard Jō.
“Sensei,” Oscar finally answered the call, trying to shake the fatigue from his voice.
“OsCar,” Sensei’s voice came through the speaker, emphasizing the “c” in his name.
“You okay, OsCar? You sound like bottom of ocean.”
Oscar cleared his throat. “Yes, Sensei. I had kind of a long night.”
“You know what they say, ‘Act like chicken at night, it is hard to fly with eagles in day.’ You celebrate too much last night?”
Oscar knew better than to say anything but the absolute truth to the old master and wondered if his instructor had called Sensei about his altercation with the sheriff. Bad news traveled fast in their tight-knit group.
“Sensei, I’m afraid I got into trouble last night.”
“Yes, OsCar I have heard. I just got back home to Berkry and wanted to call you, anyway. Make sure you knew my offer to have you come teach classes with me was sincere. But now I’m afraid…”
Oscar looked at the phone. “Sensei? Are you there, Sensei?”
The phone alternated between one and two bars in the narrow pass by the mountains. The screen showed the call had failed and Oscar uttered a loud curse over the water. Rejection by the one person who mattered most in his life would be too much to bear.
Oscar got to his feet, and the phone rang once again.
“I’m so sorry Sensei, I’m in a bad cellphone reception area. I’m so sorry, I…”
“Now, I’m afraid, I must insist. I have two freshman classes starting this fall that you will teach. And I’ve spoken to the chair of the business school for you to get your MBA. I will even send you a plane ticket if I need to, OsCar.”
Oscar stood, stunned. His entire universe had been pulled from underneath him and here a man whose respect meant everything to him offered a lifeline.
“And, of course, we still have the prettiest girls in the world here at Berkry.”
Tears rolled down Oscar’s cheeks. He tried to answer.
“Son, life can be unfair. But have faith. Love always finds a way.”
* * *
Oscar had fallen asleep on the gravel beach. After giving Doctor Jō an enthusiastic, “Yes!” he laid back by the water and plunged into a deep sleep. The sun-warmed gravel cradling his back with Buki snuggled beside him.
Driving back to Missoula, he looked at his reflection in the rearview mirror and saw how terribly he’d sunburned his face.
He’d offered to tell Sensei the entire story, but Sensei said that he wanted to hear about it in person.
Oscar also convinced Sensei it would be best for him to drive to California, so he’d have a car.
But the final affirmation came when Oscar told Doctor Jō about Buki, and Sensei gave permission for Oscar to bring the dog.
Oscar reached over and pulled the sun visor down on the passenger side as the sun neared the horizon in the west.
“We’re going to Berkry, boy,” he said with Doctor Jo’s accent, and Buki tilted his head and perked both ears.
With all the other emotions Oscar felt for the past twenty-four hours, a new one emerged…joy. However, joy mixed with the feelings of being overwhelmed. He had so much to do to prepare for California and didn’t know where to start.
He’d called his parents and told them he was headed home, but he decided to wait and tell them face-to-face about the offer to move to Berkeley. He still had to let his heart settle.
As he drove into Missoula, the setting sun bathed the city in a beautiful golden hue and pink clouds. There was one item on his to-do list that he could still do tonight. Go visit the grave of his newly found great-grandfather, Colonel William Hoshed.