Chapter 15 #2
Yanna didn’t push back as she grabbed her wine and keys, standing from the couch.
Onyx yelled something slick about her bringing their glass back, but she ignored him.
She quietly followed behind Kas until they reached his house, entered, and headed straight upstairs.
Once in his bedroom, he turned on the TV and grabbed a pre-rolled blunt from his dresser while Yanna removed her shoes and skirt, getting comfortable.
Kas climbed onto his king-sized bed and rested on his pillows, pulling Yanna’s back to his chest.
“What happened?” He asked as he lit the blunt.
“Nothing happened really. I just can’t stand him.”
“Yo dad?”
“Yes, him. I’m not ungrateful, so I do appreciate what he tries to do for me financially, and even though the money he gives me just collects interest in a bank account, I feel like it’s the least he can do.
” Yanna’s father had been placing $10,000 into one of Yanna’s checking accounts every month since she graduated college.
She refused to touch it though, thinking she was proving to her father that she nor her mother needed him.
The account had to have at least a million in it by now, but Yanna’s stubbornness far superseded her greed.
“Because he left?”
“Right. Like Troi’s dad, who was his best friend, was killed.
Then his brother was murdered right after that, and it fucked him up.
I get that those were his brothers. He decided he didn’t want to slang crack anymore, and I get that too, but…
what I can’t understand is how that leads you to leave your wife and your child.
Nigga literally dipped on us and got remarried.
Then years later, he comes around on his daddy Warbucks shit and expects for us to just have this perfect relationship. ”
“And you ain’t forgive him after all this time?”
“I’ll never forgive him.”
Kas sneered. “You sound like that nigga, Nyx.”
“It’s not the same. Ms. Layla is fine. I don’t know how she was affected by y’all’s dad leaving initially, but she eventually picked up the pieces.
She raised her boys and lived her life. Janis, though…
she let that man break her completely. If it wasn’t for my auntie Kamilla, I probably would’ve gone days without a decent meal, because my mumma was more concerned with drowning her sorrows in liquor. ”
“Damn, Yanna boo, I’m sorry you had to go through that. You wanna cry? I ain’t gone tell nobody.”
“I’d never waste tears for something that wasn’t my fault.”
“But that’s the reason why you hate men, huh? Because of yo daddy?”
“Can’t stand y’all asses. Y’all are all the same. Onyx might be the exception, and even he had his issues. That’s why I don’t get invested… I refuse to end up like Janis.”
Kas shook his head at her statement. He could admit that at one time he was the ain’t shit type of guy Yanna spoke of. For her, he wanted to be more though. He wanted to prove to her that Onyx wasn’t the only good man in the world.
“That’s why you act like you can’t stand me too, huh? I’m not yo daddy.”
“And yet you’ve shown me that you’re capable of doing something as trifling as what he did.”
“We’re all capable of doing fucked up shit. It don’t mean we will though. At some point, you just have to take a chance on me because I’m not going anywhere anyway.”
“If I take a chance on anybody it’ll be a new nigga. You’ve done too much already.”
“A new nigga, huh? You’ll just be wasting yo time ‘cause y’all not gone last.”
“And how you figure that?”
“Cause that nigga gone eventually get tired.”
“Tired of me?”
“Nah of me… beating his ass every time I see him. Stop fucking playing with me.”
Yanna couldn’t contain the laughter that bellowed from the pit of her stomach. “I swear something is wrong with you.”
“Nah, ain’t nothing wrong with me. Yo ass laughing, but I’m dead serious, Jaiyanna.
It’s like you’re punishing me for what yo pops did but using the mistakes I’ve made as an excuse.
I really get sick of that shit. Yo ways are draining, and yo inconsistency is making me not trust myself to be faithful, even though that’s the only thing I want to do.
Even though… let you tell it, I don’t have a girl to be faithful to. ”
“Kas, I—”
“Nah, let me finish because this shit is getting redundant as fuck. You can keep yo lil’ attitudes, not answer my texts and calls when you mad, but we both know yo ass ain’t going nowhere.
We gone go through shit, but we gone get through the shit.
You can talk to my mumma and Troi, telling them how I ain’t shit or whatever, and that’s cool too.
Because you know as well as they know that there’s no nigga who gone love you like I love you.
Care for you like I care for you. You know can’t no nigga fuck you better and for damn sure ain’t gone understand you like I do.
I let you talk all yo shit because deep down you know the real.
Quit with all this other shit and let me show you I’m not what you be trying to make me out to be.
Let go of shit that has nothing to do with us… take a chance on me.”
Yanna was touched by Kas’ words. Deep down, she knew he was nothing like her father.
Knew he would never leave her alone with a child.
Still, the trauma from her upbringing wouldn’t allow her to fully let her guard down.
She appreciated Kas’ incessant professing of his love for her, but she wouldn’t openly reciprocate the sentiment.
She couldn’t. It may seem injudicious to others, but Yanna felt like the moment she uttered those three words, all hell would break loose.
So, she’d continue to pretend as if she didn’t care, and prayed Kas would continue to go with the flow.
“I hear you, Kas, I promise I do. I don’t want to talk about my dad and my issues anymore, though. Let’s talk about yours.”
“What about mine?”
“Are you just going to ignore the fact that he’s back? That he’s trying to be a part of y’all lives? What are you going to do about that?”
An infuriated sigh escaped Kas’ lips as he ran a hand over his face. “I don’t know… nothing, I guess. Shit not even that deep to me.”
“Come on now. You don’t have to lie to kick it with me. You know damn well you want to know that man.”
“Yea, but—”
“If you say anything about Onyx, I’mma slap you. I asked, what you want to do?”
“And I said I don’t know. I mean, if given the opportunity, I may be down to have a conversation with him.”
“Why does the opportunity have to be given? If you want to meet your father, do it. You don’t need excuses, and you don’t need permission.”
“I just don’t want my brother mad at me.”
“You know, I’ve always admired you and Onyx’s relationship. You love the hell out of him, and he loves the hell out of his little brother. However, you can’t live your life for him.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Because when am I not?”
“Most of the time.”
“Shut up. So, again I ask, what are you going to do?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” Kas responded, but deep inside, he was a little boy who wanted nothing more than to have a relationship with his father.