Chapter 26 #3
“Still in Baltimore until about 6 months into your mom’s pregnancy.
Your uncle Nadir came to state to visit me and brought Kalil’s mom with him.
Karinne ran her ass back to Baltimore and told Crystal that there was a pregnant girl in my apartment when they got there.
Two weeks later, Crystal showed up with Maya while your mom was there. ”
“You made my mumma yo’ side chick, nigga?”
“I was never proud of that because Layla was always too good for that title. To make a long story short, your mom cursed me out and didn’t talk to me until Onyx was born. Even after everything, she still let me name my boy and gave him my last name.”
“If she knew you already had a girl and a baby, how the hell did I come along? I know my mumma very well, and I can’t see her still fucking with you after some shit like that.”
“Yea, well, sometimes love doesn’t make sense.
It’ll have you doing shit you swore you’d never do, and such was the case for your mom.
Make no mistake about it, I wanted to be with Layla.
It was just that… Crystal had sacrificed a lot for me.
I graduated college, started a pretty good paying job in my field, and it didn’t feel right that she was living in the projects in Baltimore. ”
“So you were fucking with both of them and ended up with me?”
“Pretty much. Layla finally came to her senses, though, and kicked me to the curb. I got a job in Atlanta and became estranged from everyone. I came back to see you and Onyx here and there, but your mom told me her boys weren’t going to have a part-time father, and if I couldn’t be there for y’all permanently then don’t be there at all. ”
“That shit is crazy, like, all this time she knew we had a sister?”
“Crystal asked your mom not to ever mention her daughter, and Layla agreed.”
“That’s dumb as fuck though. You know how many times I been to Atlanta? I could’ve fucked my own sister and would’ve never known. I would’ve had to kill myself if I found that shit out.”
Nouri couldn’t help but laugh. “Nah, Maya asked me anytime she met anyone with the last name Zaman. She asked when Onyx became famous, then years later, she asked me about Kalil. Small ass world we live in.”
“Yea, she told me. Damn, Nyx needs to hear this story.”
“If he gave his old man a chance, he could.”
“He’s just not ready yet.”
“Well, whenever he’s ready, I’ll be around. But tell me about your woman troubles. I know you got them.”
“How you figure?”
“I may have been absent, but let’s just say a father knows these things. What’s her name?”
“Jaiyanna. She’s Onyx’s wife’s cousin.”
“Oh, the pretty girl with the blonde hair? She was at the mixer.”
“Yea, that’s her.”
“Y’all together?”
“Nah. She fucked that up.”
“How so?”
“Alright, so I met Yanna on some wild shit. She was like the female version of me, and it started out as us having fun, so I carried it as such. Lying to her, fucking with different bitches and that made her see me in a certain light. She made it up in her mind that she’d never be in a relationship with me, but we carried it like we were in one. ”
“Nah, that wasn’t no relationship. That was a situation.”
“But is it crazy that I still felt like she was mine though? Like, I wanted to do what I wanted, but I wanted her to only be for me.”
“It ain’t crazy, it’s called being a man. We tend to be selfish that way.”
“Yanna ain’t no better than me, trust me on that.”
“You love her?”
“Hell yea. Like, I ain’t never felt this way about a girl before. She hurt my heart though… bad.”
“Another nigga?”
“Yep… and she pregnant.”
“By him?”
“Don’t know.”
“Damn, that’s tough. When you find this out?”
“A few nights ago. Overheard her talking to my mumma.”
“You lashed out at her?”
“Cussed her hoe ass the fuck out. Nyx whisked her away then some shit ended up happening with her mumma.”
Nouri shook his head at his youngest child, hating himself for not being around to instill the valuable lessons Onyx hadn’t been mature enough to know himself.
“I’mma sit here and sip on this yak and let you think about all the unfair shit you just said.”
Silence filled the room as Kas took a real minute to ponder his entire situation with Yanna.
His brother was right. He’d treated his situation with Yanna as if he truly didn’t give a fuck.
Instead of easing her worries, he fed into her insecurities by using them as justification.
He didn’t want to be with anyone else… didn’t want her to be with anyone else.
He damn sure didn’t want her having a baby for another nigga.
Didn’t want another nigga swooping in to do what he apparently couldn’t.
Although Yanna’s actions were irrational, she never would’ve done something so reckless if Zahra had never been at the house.
He didn’t take a moment to recognize his own fault in the situation… only crucified Yanna for hers.
“Fuck, I’m stupid, ain’t I?”
“Well, I wasn’t going to be the one to say it. Stop that toxic shit. I would tell you that you need to apologize for whatever foul shit you said to her, but if I know Layla like I think, then she already let you have it.”
Kas laughed because she damn sure had. “Had me feeling like Yanna was actually her child and I was just some random nigga.”
“I never had to fear that Layla would keep y’all in check. That woman is something else, I tell you.”
“You in love with my mumma?”
“That’ll never change, but I fucked up any chance of ever being with her again. I’m just glad we can be friends now. If you want the same for you and Yanna, then you need to make it right. If the kid is yours, don’t make the same mistakes I did.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. I gotta run though, I got an appointment to get to. I’ll probably be back through here sometime tomorrow.”
“I’ll be here.”
Kas stood to leave, snagging his father’s bottle of liquor on his way out.
He rode the elevator back down to the lobby and quickly headed to his car.
Just as he was about to take a swig of the liquor, he remembered he couldn’t drink then tossed the bottle into the back seat.
He turned up the volume on his J. Cole album and sped off.
He had a lot to think about and not a lot of time to do so.