26. The Volunteer
THE VOLUNTEER
I groaned. “I’m going to kill the idiot that came up with this check-in plan.”
“Sorry, that was me.”
“I hate you.”
I groaned again, rolling over to grab my phone. Shit. It was Eva. I slapped my hand over his mouth to muffle his laugh.
“Did you find him?” I asked as soon as the call connected.
“No, but I’m starting to think that’s a good thing. I think you’re right; he’s just lying low. I wish he’d call, though.”
“I’m sure he will. Once it’s safe.”
She sighed. “I hope so. He must think the worst of me. If roles were reversed I don’t think I’d call him either. I wouldn’t trust him.”
“Don’t do this to yourself, Eva. Neither one of us knows what’s going through his head right now. You can’t think like that, it will drive you crazy.”
She took a deep breath. “You’re right. I know you’re right. Sorry I’m dumping all this on you. I’m just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. That’s what friends are for.”
“Would it be okay if I stopped by? I just want to see your face, make sure you’re okay.”
I peeked at Austin; he nodded.
“Of course, can you give me a few hours, though? I didn’t get much sleep last night. Too worried.”
“So you don’t want me to wait until you can clear out your new boyfriend?”
I snorted. “I see you’ve been talking to Hem.”
“He called this morning hounding me for information. Imagine my surprise that my best friend didn’t tell me about her new man.”
“He doesn’t exist, it just seemed like the best way to get him to stop asking me out.”
“Why? Girl he’s fine.”
“Then you should go for it. I’m not interested, but you two would make a very attractive couple.”
I could hear the grin in her voice. “I almost did at the last convention. He was showing off his fighting skills and… Let’s just say it did things to me and I wanted so desperately to do things to him.
Especially when he came to my station after and asked me to patch him up. Fuck, man, his scars had me squirming.”
“Hm…maybe I was a bit premature on this not interested business.”
She laughed. Austin glared. I had to suppress a giggle.
“Nu’uh, no take backs.”
“I’m not taking anything back. I’m wondering if you’d share.”
“You? Never. Him with you? I like the sound of that. I think he’d have a heart attack if we asked, though.”
Austin didn’t look impressed. In fact, the look in his eyes told me that I was in trouble. A lot of trouble. Hang up the fucking phone, Violet. I could hear his voice in my head.
“You’re probably right. Maybe let’s not mention this to him.”
“Good plan. So what time can I come by? Do you want some more sleep?”
“Can we say 5?”
“Perfect. I’ll bring pizza and drinks. Pepperoni okay?”
“Sounds perfect, see you in a bit.”
I barely had time to hang up before Austin had me pinned to the bed with my hands above my head.
“You’re walking a dangerous line, Nightshade.”
“I thought you liked that about me.” I smirked.
“How much time do you need to get ready?”
“Thirty minutes. Forty max.”
“Good.” He licked his lips. “I think I’ll take my time with you.”
I should have budgeted more time to get ready. If I’d known he’d insist on joining me in the shower, I wouldn’t have let him keep me in bed for two and a half hours. But I couldn’t say no. Especially when he dropped to his knees and used the power of his tongue for pure evil—again.
It was just after 4 by the time I shut the water off and actually started getting ready. I didn’t want to. I thought about calling Eva and telling her I changed my mind at least twenty times, but Austin insisted she come. He wanted to see how she’d act around me.
So I puttered around, making sure no hint of Aus remained in my apartment.
I’d cleaned up all the blood and used gauze last night—luckily before Officer O’Neill showed up—so I didn’t have to worry about that.
But he had to take the backpack full of medical supplies and extra clothes back to the roof—I did ask him about it and apparently he kept bags like that all over the city in case of emergencies.
When he got back, he helped me by blow drying my hair while I threw on a bit of makeup to cover up the bags under my eyes and some mascara. He was watching me in the mirror with a smile on his face.
“What?” I asked.
He turned off the blow dryer and put it on the counter, trading it for my brush instead.
“Nothing. I’m just happy.”
Now it was my turn to watch him in the mirror. He started at the ends of my hair, working out any knots there before slowly working his way up.
“How did you learn to brush long hair?”
“Eva. She used to get really bad nightmares when we were kids, it was the only thing that helped her sleep.”
He set the brush down. I turned to face him.
“How long have you known her?”
“Since we were in diapers, pretty much. Our moms were childhood friends so we grew up together. After that Christmas with my dad, I asked if I could stay with her during the holidays. Her mom never liked my dad and took me in without a second thought.” His smile turned sad.
“I want to believe her, V, I really do. I just can’t afford to take the chance. ”
“I told you last night that I’d follow your lead.” I brought my hand up to his face and ran my thumb along his cheek. “You don’t have to justify anything to me. Ever. Remember that.”
“I just… I know you don’t agree. But if she betrayed me and she knew I was alive, she could do a lot of damage. She knows every single one of my weaknesses.”
“The Avalanche has weaknesses?” I teased.
His hands went to my hips, tugging me closer so he could kiss my forehead. “I do now.”
Heat rushed to my cheeks. “I knew you were a softy.”
He chuckled, wrapping his arms around me. “If you tell anyone, I’ll have to kill them.”
“You can’t, you’re dead.”
I felt him smile against the top of my head.
“Alright, Sassy Pants, you need to move a little faster. Eva will be here soon. She’s always early.”
Sure enough, Eva arrived at 4:30. She held an extra large pepperoni pizza in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other.
She looked awful—dark circles under her bloodshot eyes, hair thrown into a messy bun, cheeks tear-stained and paler than usual, dressed in plaid pajama pants and an oversized sweater.
I took the box out of her hand and placed it on the table next to the door before pulling her into a tight hug.
She started crying immediately, and it took all my self-control to keep from telling her he was alive, hiding somewhere in my apartment.
The longer she clung to me, the harder it was to believe she was in on the set-up.
I stayed like that until she pulled away—my own eyes puffy and red by the time she stepped back. She tried to apologize for getting snot on me, but I waved her off, I didn’t exactly keep my composure either.
“Give me thirty seconds to change into PJs then we can curl up in bed and watch cheesy Christmas rom-coms while we drink that vodka right from the bottle, okay?”
She choked out a laugh that sounded more like a sob and nodded. “I like the way you think.”
“Make yourself at home, I’ll be right back.”
I left her to look around in the living room while I changed. Austin was waiting for me in the bedroom; he also looked like a mess—hair finger raked, eyes bloodshot, pacing at the foot of my bed.
“Aus—”
“I don’t know what to do, V. What am I supposed to do?”
I cleared the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his torso, running my hands over his back.
“I can’t give you the answer to that. I don’t think she was in on it, but if you still think there’s even a chance… You tell me what you want and I’ll do it.”
He held me tight for a second, threaded his fingers through my hair, and took deep breath before he stepped back.
“I need more information first. Don’t say anything. Please.”
“Okay.”
Eva stayed most of the night. We curled up under the covers—glad I had the good sense to put fresh sheets on my bed before she arrived—and pulled up the Christmas movie channel.
The pizza box sat open between us and the vodka bottle passed from her hand to mine back to hers.
She drank most of it, which was good because I could barely keep a secret like this while I was sober.
We only half paid attention to the movies, opting to spend more time chatting. She seemed to be doing a bit better but then midnight hit and she burst into tears. I hugged her again, holding her tight while she buried her head in my neck and sobbed.
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.
“For what? I can’t read your mind, E.”
She did one of her laugh-sobs as she pulled away.
“You were so mad at him but it wasn’t his fault—his hot and cold thing.
It was mine. I— We— I can’t tell you everything; only that he was doing something important with people that are dangerous and I was worried they’d hurt you.
I’m the one that told him to stay away from you, the reason you were both so miserable. ”
“Avalanche is a grown man, he’s perfectly capable of making his own decisions.” I reached forward and wiped a few lingering tears from her cheeks. “It’s not your fault.”
“I wasn’t sure in the beginning, but I understand now.”
I tilted my head slightly. “Understand what?”
“Why my brother is in love with you.”
I froze. “W-what? He— He said that?”
“Not explicitly, no. But it wasn’t hard to tell.
I’ve known him my whole life, and I’ve never seen him act the way he does around you.
Anytime you’re close by, his eyes are on you.
Anytime he hears your name, he gets this little smile on his face.
Anytime another man gives you attention, he looks murderous.
” Tears welled up in her eyes again. “And I ruined it. I made him push you away.”
“Eva, you didn’t make him do a thing.”
“He went after Plowers thinking you hated him. What if the distraction is what got him caught? What if—”
“He didn’t think that. I promise you, we made up after his visit with Scarlett.”
She pressed her lips together, blinking rapidly to keep the tears from escaping.
“You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”
I shook my head. “I was never actually mad at him, more hurt.”
I went on to explain exactly what happened between us, from the conversation in Crossroads after I saw the shop, to the back and forth phone calls, to the night before he completely ghosted me. She laughed hysterically at the conversation we had after my date with Officer O’Neill.
“Oh man, no wonder he looked so rough the next morning. Dude probably drank his body weight in alcohol. He never would have said all that shit sober.”
“So…he didn’t mean it?”
“What? Where did you get that? Of course he meant it, it’s just he wouldn’t have had the nerve to tell you if he hadn’t been drinking. The second I met you in the bar I nearly burst out laughing, I couldn’t believe it.”
My eyebrows furrowed. “What?”
“Dude, you’re literally the girl of his dreams. Ever since we were teenagers he was so specific about what he was looking for.
Funny, smart, witty, shy but not too shy, black hair, blue eyes like the ocean, short and curvy.
As we got older, he developed a preference for tattoos.
After one conversation with you, I knew; he’s been looking for you his whole life. ”
My attention fell to my lap, where my fingers were picking at my comforter.
“I—”
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to tell her I’d been looking for him, too. I was the same—so specific. Sweet but grumpy, funny, smart but not egotistical, one of those I hate everyone but her types, dark hair, blue eye like ice, tall.
I couldn’t tell her any of that because Austin was here, listening, watching.
I didn’t want him to hear it second-hand.
I wanted to look at him, talk to him, find out if it was true—if he did love me.
Because I loved him, I had for a while but I didn’t want to scare him off if he wasn’t there yet.
After all, we only met a few months ago.
Eva wrapped her hands around mine to stop me from picking at the blanket.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you that. I should have let him when he comes back.” She gave me a forced smile before dropping my hands. “I should get going. Thank you for keeping me company. Do you think we could hang out tomorrow as well?”
“I’m headed out of town in the morning. I… I have a tradition for Winter Solstice I’ve been doing since I was a kid. Usually, I would have left today, but I was hoping that he would show up… I’ll call you, okay? Every day.”
“Okay.” She gave me a hug. “You’ll let me know if you hear from him?”
I nodded. “You do the same.”
“I will.”
I walked her to the door, hugged her again, then she left. The second the door closed, Austin materialized out of his shadows. I couldn’t get a word out, he was already talking.
“Before you say anything, I need to tell you that she’s right. I…I understand if you’re not there yet but I want you to know, it’s true. I have been looking for you my whole life and I…I am in love with you.”
“Before I say anything, I need you to be completely honest with me.”
“Ask me anything.”
“Did you total Officer O’Neill’s car last summer?”
He nodded. “I did. I was aiming for someone else but got the car.”
“So you haven’t been stalking me for years and ruining all my dates?”
“What? No, of course not. Hang on, what do you mean all?”
“I mean all. The last almost six years every guy I’ve tried to go out with came up with some excuse or another. A few even stood me up. I finally gave up after O’Neill and his icicle story.”
“What kind of excuses?”
“One guy said all his doors and windows were frozen shut—it was three Mays ago. Another said their car had been buried during an avalanche four Septembers ago. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, everything has been cold related. Except one, he got food poisoning at a business dinner.”
Austin burst out laughing.
“You’re telling me I’ve been ruining every date you’ve had planned for nearly six years?”
“Don’t laugh!” I shoved his shoulder. “It’s not funny!”
“Come on, it’s a little funny.”
I sighed, shaking my head. “You’re lucky I love you.”
“You mean it? You’re not just saying that?”
“I mean it. I love you.”
He grinned so wide his cheeks would probably hurt in the morning.
“God, I fucking love you! I’m the luckiest ever,” he said before kissing me softly. “You know you’ll never get rid of me now, right?”
Good, I knew this was it for me. From the moment he found me in the alley, I’d been his.
“Promise?”
“Forever.”