GABRIEL #3
He’s sitting at his laptop, but when he sees me, he turns like he has seen a ghost. His long hair is loosely tied back, his eyes tired like he has not slept. It is already past eleven.
"Fuck, what happened to you?" he blurts out.
"Disaster," I say flatly, dropping my backpack and reaching for a towel.
"What happened? How did you get like this?"
He stands and walks up to me. We are the same height. His large silver green eyes lock onto my face.
I say nothing. The words will not come out. I just let out a weak breath, and he guesses immediately.
"Something with that messed up Marcel, right? And that insane eco group of yours."
I shut my eyes. I hate to admit he’s right.
"I don’t want to talk about it."
But guilt twists inside me, and I finally spill it out.
"I… I did something really stupid. I agreed to take part in a messed up action and it went off the script. People almost died."
Marlow’s eyes fix on me. He raises his hands and grips my shoulders.
"Are the police after you?"
"Not yet. But it’s only a matter of time. They’ll probably come tomorrow," I whisper.
"Oh damn, Gabriel. You are twenty one. You have one year left. How could you get into something like this? You really want to throw everything away for that fanatic omega who doesn't even care about you?"
I clench my eyes shut.
"You don’t know that… I think he just doesn’t show it."
Marlow scoffs and shakes me again.
"Listen to yourself! You think he cares? He had a year and a half to show it. He’s using you. He drags you into stupid things, like oil protests or those underground cage fights, and he takes your money. You get nothing in return. He treats you like a paypig."
My head is buzzing with emotion, and I snap.
"You don’t get it! What I saw in him was passion. Fire. He had direction, a purpose. Not like me. I was drifting, and he gave me something. He gave me a reason to keep going."
I hear how stupid it sounds, even as I say it.
Marlow grips me harder, his fingers digging into my shoulders.
"Gabriel, wake up. It’s all past tense. Please. He’s not interested in you. You will never be his boyfriend. Everyone sees it but you."
"Just leave me alone."
I pull free and step back.
His eyes soften, full of worry, but I take another step back, then another. Finally I avert my eyes under his gaze and head into the bathroom.
I turn the shower on cold and let the water hit my head, hoping it will calm me down, but it barely helps. I’m shaking inside.
One thing is clear, I need to see Marcel. I need to talk to him. Only he knows what we should do now.
I pull on a clean shirt and pants, aware of Marlow watching me. I run my fingers through my hair and glance at myself in the mirror.
As I head for the door, Marlow jumps up and grabs my arm.
"Where are you going? Don’t tell me to Marcel."
"Let go. You don’t understand and you never will."
He presses his lips together.
"I understand doing stupid things for unrequited love. I have been there."
"This is different. Just leave me alone."
He stares at me with concern, but I don't even know what to say anymore.
I step back, open the door, and leave. It is almost midnight, but I have to see him. I run out of the dorm and head off campus. Marcel doesn't live on campus, but rents a place a few minutes away.
I have been helping him pay the rent for a year, and it’s expensive. I earn the money in underground fights he encouraged me to join. My ability makes me unbeatable.
To be fair, I offered the help myself. He once complained about bills, so I suggested it and he graciously agreed.
He never asks directly, but I always give him money, saying it’s for our group. He just smiles and takes it.
A few months ago I also bought him a car, said he needed it for organizing things. A van, big enough for all of us.
When I reach his building, I see that van in the parking lot, empty. The others must have left. So Marcel is probably alone.
We rarely talk one on one. Usually someone from the group is around. Maybe now I will finally get the chance to say everything I have been holding back for the past year and a half.
I run up the stairs. Third floor. I don't take the elevator.
When I reach the hallway, a familiar scent hits me.
Damn it. Edgar was here recently. That sharp, musky cologne.
I slow down.
For some reason, I move more carefully, stepping quietly toward the door, holding my breath. My heart is pounding so hard it almost drowns everything out, but I can still hear enough.
A moment later I understand.
Someone inside is having sex.
The sounds are unmistakable. Breathing, soft moans, and deeper groans coming through the door.
A strange wave runs through me, something cold and hot at the same time.
I glance at the keypad panel. I know this code perfectly, I’ve helped Marcel move all his furniture, I’ve brought him groceries more than once, and I’ve visited him here with the group plenty of times, so I’ve memorized it.
Now I’m using that knowledge, to my own detriment.
Feeling my jaw muscles twitch, I punch in the code, push the door open, and step inside, all in less than a second.
I leap and land on the threshold of Marcel’s bedroom just to see Edgar’s naked backside and Marcel’s legs wrapped around his hips.
Yeah.
So that's official.
I’m a loser, always have been, probably always will be. I do everything for him like a damn simp, and there’s Edgar, the hottest guy on campus, sleeping with the omega I’m in love with. Predictable as hell, to all, but not to the blind me. What a moron I am.
Edgar jerks upright and turns toward me, but my face stays still. Finally, I have enough courage and desperation: I take two steps toward the bed and use my 5-sec skill to land a single blow that knocks him out instantly.
Bam! The force sends his naked, slightly sweaty body sliding to the floor. He lands completely still.
I glance at Marcel.
I’ve never seen him naked, though I’ve imagined it countless times in my fantasies.
His body is small, that much I could have guessed from his slight frame.
His skin is light brown, sun-kissed, with pleasing curves, delicate nipples now flushed from Edgar’s caresses.
His penis is stiff but goes soft at the sight of me. Well, I ruined his fun.
But to be fair, he looks beautiful. His dark straight hair spreads across his naked, damp shoulders, and his lips are red and slightly parted. For a brief moment, with his leg turned to the side, I even see his pink, glistening, inviting hole.
This is exactly how I pictured him when I fantasized about the day I might be his boyfriend… to sink into him, be wrapped in his arms… in his grace, his heat…
But that will never happen. There’s no chance now. I’m a loser, but not to the point I’d get involved where I’m not wanted.
"Before entering someone’s house, you might want to knock, Gabriel," Marcel says in a surprisingly calm tone. He swings his legs to the floor, lifts his T-shirt, and pulls it over his head, covering his beautiful, seductive body.
I stay silent, everything inside me boiling… I have to say it.
"I thought that you and I—" I start, but stop. I realize how stupid that sounds and an even bigger anger rises inside me.
Marcel grimaces slightly and says, "You and I? What do you mean, Gabriel? Were you imagining something?"
The beautiful omega gets up, steps over Edgar’s limp body, and moves to the window to light a cigarette. I catch a glimpse of his slim thighs and shapely calves under the long T-shirt.
The streetlight filters in, casting a golden glow on his face. He’s so beautiful, but… it’s a broken dream, shattered, impossible.
"I thought I meant something to you, I thought—"
He just shrugs. "You were a valuable member of our group. I appreciate that. But if you expected anything more, it could never happen, Gabriel," he says, gesturing between us. "We would never make sense. You’re not my type."
"But Edgar is?" I spit bitterly. "That annoying jerk who thinks he has charisma but really only has his dad’s money and the prospect of inheriting the whole damn D-project…"
"I have more in common with him than you think," Marcel says, turning his gaze to the dark street. "We both believe in doing whatever it takes to fight for our cause. And you? You chickened out. You lost your nerve! Edgar did exactly what I expected."
"He only does it to piss off his rich dad, getting involved with activists, teetering on the edge of the law! Don’t you see? Do you really think he cares about the environment? About big corporations? About the planet?" I laugh bitterly.
"Do you?" Marcel turns to me, his look piercing right through me. "Why are you in this group? Do you believe in our goals? Our mission? Stopping Blue Lowen? Today, in the Malden building, you showed how much you believe in the cause. I told you to go with us, but you stayed… You disobeyed me."
"And I saved those people, Marcel! I got them out of the building," I throw back, clenching my fists.
"Oh, knight in shining armor. Noble but very naive, and you put us at risk. Do you realize that? You’re now a trail to our organization! I’m sure the cameras caught you! We’ll have trouble because of your… fucking morals. Now we have to prepare for the police knocking on our doors."
I can’t believe what I’m hearing…
"You wanted these people to die? That was just a cleaning crew, not even some scientists working there for Malden Pharmaceuticals, believing in the cause…"
"They still worked for Blue Lowen, so they were on the side of the evil guys!"
"Evil? That’s how you see it? I see evil in letting innocent people die! Cleaning crews are hired by outside companies, they don’t even know where they’re sent; they just go and clean. How can you think like that?"
"And that’s exactly the difference between us—"