GABRIEL #6
Blue gives a slight eye roll, which feels new, almost relaxed.
"But really," I shrug. "I’m a virgin, so it’s hard for me to judge, but I’ve heard a lot of good things, and it does tempt me," I admit.
His eyes study me closely for a moment without commenting, and I blurt out even more TMI.
"Sometimes I dream about the perfect moment with the perfect person, but that’s it. It never materialized for me."
Those observant sapphire eyes keep drilling into me as if he’s trying to analyze me.
"Did you love Marcel?"
The question catches me off guard, asked in a somewhat tentative tone.
"I think I did. I definitely admired him. He had a strong personality and knew what he wanted in life, maybe in contrast to me. My own plans were kind of vague… I mean, I knew the general field that interested me, but I couldn’t choose a specific path."
"Tell me about those paths," Blue says, resting his chin on his hands, his eyes never leaving my face.
Wow, this evening is really turning into a getting-to-know-each-other session. I feel almost exposed, like I’m being put on display for his judgment and analysis.
"Well, officially I’m studying Cybersecurity and Electrical Engineering, a double major, and I’m doing a minor in Radio Frequency Systems, but what really excites me is radio frequency hacking, reverse engineering, embedded systems, and IoT security.
Robotics isn’t foreign to me either. I’ve taken some solid courses in that too. "
We’re still sitting at the table now with empty plates, but unlike the previous days, it no longer feels like just a shared meal.
"Sounds like a passion," Blue says in a peculiar tone.
Not many people actually want to know anything about me, so I find a certain kind of satisfaction in it.
"I liked understanding how things worked," I say after a moment. "Not just using them. Actually getting inside, figuring out the logic, the structure. Systems, wireless communication, networks, hardware… it all makes sense to me. It pulls me in."
Blue listens without interrupting.
"And," I add, glancing at him briefly, "I was good at it. Like, really good. I had the highest grades in my class and got the top scholarship available. My parents didn’t have to spend a cent on my education. Thanks to competitions and distinctions, I got a full ride. But what now? What about my plans? Do I even need this education if I’m stuck as a bodyguard for a decade? I’ll forget what I’ve learned before I’m free.
As far as my career prospects go, I’m in deep shit," I conclude.
The corner of my mouth lifts slightly, but it’s more like a nervous twitch. Still, I keep watching him as I push the plate away.
If I expected sympathy, it wasn’t on the menu. He’s already finished, his attention split between his tablet and me.
"Life is all about consequences, Gabriel, as you correctly put it after the situation with the spitball," he says slowly, weighing each word. "Such a strong start, and you put in so much work… and then you ruined it."
He shakes his head slightly, as if in disbelief over what I did.
Ashamed, I fall silent, because what else is there to say? I feel like a foolish teenager around him again, but his eyes moving over me don’t hold what I feared. Not contempt, more like… a trace of disappointment, almost paternal, and for some reason that makes it hit even harder.
"Do you have anything else for me to do? I’ll go lie down, my back’s stiff," I ask gloomily.
Blue slowly shakes his head, so I get up with a deep frown and leave the room.
I was so glad at first that the conversation was about me, because I’ve been starving for attention for so long, for someone’s eyes on me, on my life for a change, but now I almost regret it.
By opening myself up, I’m also reminding him of my flaws and mistakes, and it’s simply not in Blue’s nature to pat me on the back and say, "Don’t worry, it’ll be all right." He expects a lot from himself, so naturally, he expects a lot from others too, which frankly isn’t surprising.
Am I just a spoiled kid, craving gentleness and forgiveness? Or do I need to toughen up?
For some reason, I keep thinking about the alpha with tears in his eyes after he spat on Blue. Maybe I need to lie in the bed I’ve made and accept that this is my life now.
No position as an engineer or system administrator for me. Just a muscle.
My own choices led me here, period.
Blue lives with the consequences of his actions every single day too, hated for his controversial initiatives. Now I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. It’s a part of growing up, maturing.
I’m not sure why, but I go to bed with my head drowning in gray noise.
◆◆◆
The next day starts with a rather unexpected situation.
Blue goes down to one of the lower floors of his tower because there’s a conference room equipped with a virtual reality system where each participant puts on special goggles, and they all take part in a shared ‘tour’ through Malden facilities and laboratories regardless of their physical location.
When the meeting ends, we discover, somewhat to our surprise, that the elevator Blue usually uses, the one marked B2, is out of service.
Blue immediately calls building security, whose office is located on the first floor. It turns out the elevator shaft inspection scheduled for five in the morning was delayed, and a maintenance crew is currently working there.
I notice that Blue becomes more alert, probably because in the past similar setups turned out to be ambushes, so he makes a quick decision to take the largest elevator, the one that’s always packed with people.
To me, that seems at least equally risky, but apparently Blue believes it’s safer in a large crowd.
So we step into the biggest elevator.
It’s already packed with people. I go in first, firmly pushing through and clearing a path for Blue so he can enter and take a position in one of the corners.
I stand right in front of him, effectively shielding him with my body from the rest.
The people inside don’t seem particularly interested in us. They probably don’t even know who Blue is, since most are turned with their backs to us. They’re talking among themselves, some bent over their phones or tablets.
But with each floor the elevator passes, it gets more and more cramped. More people squeeze in while not that many get off, and soon a mass of bodies is pressing against us.
So I turn to face Blue and position myself with my arms braced against both walls of the elevator, creating a protected space in the corner where he stands.
In this position, though, we end up in something oddly intimate. He’s against the corner looking at me, and I’m leaning over him, shielding him with my body, my arms raised above his head and braced against the wall behind him.
My eyes meet his.
The pressure from the crowd increases, and now I actually have to push back against the weight of a dozen people actively pressing into me.
I clench my jaw as the people trying to get in push harder, calling out, "Hey, move in the back, we’ve got a conference in five minutes, we need to get there!"
Soon I have to use my full strength to keep Blue from being crushed in the corner, my tense muscles trembling. In the process, my chest starts getting closer to him until it’s barely an inch from his face.
In this setup, I have nowhere to look except at the wall above his head or into his eyes. For some reason, I choose the latter.
Up close, his eyes are even more beautiful than I’d noticed before, with long lashes and irises threaded with fine streaks of dark navy and silver.
So I stare, caught up in that unexpected beauty. I study him with open fascination, and he looks straight back at me. Slowly, my gaze drops to his lips, their soft shape and tempting fullness drawing my attention.
Fuck! What is wrong with me?
I keep reminding myself I spent a year and a half bashing Blue, and now I can’t stop staring at his… lips! C’mon, that’s twisted!
And why does his closeness make my head feel slightly light? It’s insane, and yet I find a strange kind of pleasure in it, even as I’m forced to use my whole body the entire time to hold back the immense pressure of the crowd.
Suddenly, for completely stupid reasons, I say very quietly,
"I’ll protect you, I won’t let you get crushed."
I realize how ridiculous it sounds, since that’s exactly what I’m already doing. There’s no need to say it, but to my surprise Blue responds just as quietly, so no one else can hear,
"I appreciate it."
His voice is kinda soft, a rare tone for him.
Then I realize something else. Amid the overlapping rhythm of all the hearts in the elevator, I can hear his as well, and it seems a little faster than usual.
Is it stress from the situation, all those bacteria around… or something else? I don’t have time to think about it, because the elevator stops again and the people heading to the conference finally get off, and suddenly there’s much more space.
I can finally step back a little, though I do it with a hint of reluctance. Now we’re just standing side by side as the numbers keep ticking up.
I feel odd, going back to that moment when I stood over him. It should be nothing, just work. I was protecting him, but why did he keep looking at me the whole time? He could have looked away, but he didn’t, so what was the reason?
Is this because he’s an omega and I’m an alpha? Some primitive instinctive thing going on when our bodies got closer?
When we reach the Malden floor, Simon is already waiting for us and immediately brings Blue several updates, one of them being that a meeting scheduled for next week has been moved to tomorrow.
It’s a meeting with several college professors.
That means going outside again, which for me is heightened alertness.
Blue goes to his office and immerses himself in answering emails, while I remain slightly dazed after the elevator situation. From time to time, I catch extremely brief glances from him, so quick they’re almost impossible to notice if you blink.