GABRIEL #4
Silence. I wait for Blue to leave too, but he doesn’t move.
"Take it from my salary," I say, still not looking at him.
"Stop it, Gabriel."
I shut my eyes. I’m not staying in the same room with him any longer. This whole situation has made me feel extremely upset. Enough of this.
"Can you leave, Mr. Lowen?" I ask, keeping my voice steady through sheer effort. "I deeply apologize for what transpired in the pool. It was a horrible overstepping of your boundaries, and I regret what I did; it won't happen again. Right now I just want to be alone. Please."
A short pause of silence. Then he simply walks out without one word.
Finally.
What a relief.
I collapse back onto the bed, feeling like I might pass out again, though I have no idea why.
And of course, I feel like crying.
But that’s nothing new for me. Yeah, yeah. This is just who I am. A pathetic alpha. People have always sensed it in me. The weakness. The emotionality. The sensitivity. Nobody ever wanted the mess that I am.
Omegas always picked up on it instantly and rejected me outright. Maybe Blue was right. Maybe I really do project the kind of energy that makes people lose respect for me.
The weakling. The damn crybaby. That’s me.
Then I start the well-known session of self-torture, replaying in my memory all those interactions with my cousins, uncles, and friends, stabbing myself with them. How I was always brushed aside, mocked, treated like a fifth wheel.
And when I tried to approach an omega and talk to him, I would see it in his eyes: what do you want from me, loser? You’re so awkward, get lost. It was always there, underneath everything.
Today I tried again to dive into the deep end. I actually told another omega I liked him, and look what happened.
Maybe I should just give up.
Romance is not for me.
Because one thing is for sure: the way I am, nobody will ever love me.
◆◆◆
The next morning feels like the North Pole. Blue is silent and distant, and even though we swim in the indoor pool like always, he doesn’t say a single word to me. We also kind of avoid each other’s gazes.
Super awkward, super weird.
The whole thing with not being able to ‘read’ him like I did before is too puzzling to even try to understand.
It all strangely fits with Mate Rejection and the breaking of some awakening Bond between us that once allowed me to sense him so clearly.
Now it’s gone, and I have no idea how that was even possible in the first place.
After the pool session comes the meeting with Simon, and the whole ritual of the usual daily briefings begins, people reporting to Blue, followed by two hours in the lab, where he’s bent over a microscope.
The entire time, there’s a persistent silence between us aside from the absolute minimum communication about where he’s going.
Everything friendly that had started to form between us is gone now.
And it feels like a painful void, but I don’t have the courage to break it.
Around midday, we head out to a meeting with the professors Blue is scheduled to see.
It’s being held in one of the college buildings where they teach.
I walk in with Blue into a fairly large room, accompanied by a man named Adams, the head of development, a very short, chubby omega in his fifties, and of course Simon.
The men he's meeting with include a dean, who’s an omega, one beta, and two alphas, all professors.
From the start, the atmosphere feels tense, or at the very least, extremely formal.
They begin discussing internship conditions organized on a large scale by Malden Pharmaceuticals, and it is clear they are trying to negotiate higher pay for the interns.
Blue and his team seem very well prepared for this conversation, and soon Simon activates a portable projector, displaying statistics on the wall showing overall intern attendance, how many of them arrived late or left early, took prolonged breaks, and took leave, while Adams emphasizes the average level of work performance along with their constant involvement in mating-related distractions.
The college staff sits there stiffly, watching for a while. But when the last data table disappears from the screen, a furious gasp can be heard.
One of the alphas reacts particularly aggressively. He accuses Blue of causing the interns’ lack of motivation through low pay.
Adams steps in, pointing out that the bioengineering department had higher pay in one of their divisions and the results were not significantly better.
The alpha latches onto the word "significantly" and launches into an argument that Malden is devaluing students’ work, exploiting young people and their labor.
Blue counters that their program is clearly challenging for students, providing very ambitious opportunities for the best ones, and that having Malden on a résumé carries weight.
At that, the alpha lets out an obnoxious laugh and raises his voice.
"Mr. Lowen, with all due respect, you are overestimating the respect your company commands. If anything, employers tend to frown upon those résumés. Many students apply for your internships only because there aren’t many companies offering similar learning opportunities, but the moment they find an alternative, that becomes the priority.
Malden is at the bottom of the list. Nobody wants to work for you; they do it because they have to. "
Blue starts to respond, still calm. "We don't force anyone to stay. They can always choose Welrun’s internships—"
The alpha cuts him off again. "Welrun pays even less, and you surely know this. And the two of you push smaller companies out of the market. People in this city have no alternatives. Our students are simply forced into your internships!"
"In that case, perhaps you should be more flexible in cooperating with colleges from other cities and help your students pay for housing there so they can attend internships in other states. I have read that you are unwilling to support them or arrange free dorm accommodations. It’s all on them."
Blue seems prepared for every argument.
The dean shifts uneasily. "The college is not a charity, Mr. Lowen," he mutters.
"Neither is Malden. But if Malden internships are such a problem, that would give them more options. Besides, we would all benefit, since only those who genuinely want to work for Malden would apply, which would certainly improve performance outcomes."
The alpha raises his voice again. "Would that even matter? You dominate half the major cities in this country. Malden Pharmaceuticals has branches everywhere, including in cities where our partner colleges are located."
Blue slightly furrows his brows, his expression cold and almost hostile.
"My company doesn't prevent anyone from entering the market. It is not my fault that other companies produce less competitive products, perhaps because the students you graduate and send there demonstrate a particularly poor work ethic—"
The alpha bristles and interrupts him again, which is becoming unbearable.
"A poor work ethic defines all of Malden!"
The alpha’s expansive pheromones are getting under my skin, and even though he's much older than me, well past forty and in his prime, while I am less than half his age, I find it harder and harder to tolerate as he keeps cutting Blue off.
"If that is the case, then what exactly are we even discussing? Do you even intend to coope—"
When he interrupts again, almost screaming, "Sometimes I’m embarrassed to even mention your company as an option for our students—!"
It’s too much.
"I suggest you lower your voice," I say in a firm tone. "You have interrupted Mr. Lowen four times. It is difficult to have a constructive discussion like that."
A heavy silence falls.
What I just did is crazy. This is a room full of scientists and academics, and a mere bodyguard dared to speak up and insert himself into their discussion.
What arrogance. The muscle actually has a voice.
The alpha professor cannot take it. He lets out a low growl and stands abruptly, turning to me, curling his lips.
In a split second, I am right in front of him.
My chest nearly presses against his.
A low, instinctive warning growl leaves my throat, resonating deeply through the room, answering his challenge and making it clear I will not hesitate to use force if he pushes further.
"Gentlemen," the dean says, clearly feeling obligated to intervene. "Can we behave in a civilized manner?"
"I will not tolerate the constant interruption of Mr. Lowen," I reply sharply.
"It is a normal discussion—" the dean begins, but the alpha cuts him off as well.
"Professor Montoya, we should not be discussing anything with him at all. Either he raises the internship pay or we withdraw from the agreement with Malden."
"I have a better proposal," Blue says suddenly, his voice like an ice spear.
"This year, internships will be entirely unpaid. That will ensure that only those who genuinely want to work for Malden and don't see us as a punishment will come to learn."
The alpha stares at him, fury burning in his eyes.
"You fucking eunuch—"
He doesn't finish, because I punch him.
Yes, I know, I probably should not have.
Dragging alpha aggression into an academic discussion in a dean’s office only proves the primitive nature of our kind, but I’m not about to feel ashamed of it.
Blue and I may not be on the best terms right now, but that doesn’t mean I’ll allow an omega and the victim of a horrible accident to be belittled in such a degrading way.
The dean and the beta professor, who had barely spoken until now, both jump to their feet.
The second alpha lunges at me, driven by instinct, but he doesn't stand a chance.
He’s over fifty, and with a simple jiu-jitsu move, grabbing his shoulder and twisting it, I shove him to the floor.
As he hits the ground with a heavy grunt, my eyes lift and lock onto Blue.