Chapter GABRIEL #3
Then I see a clip from the day I was solving math problems, my thoughtful expression…
After that, my face from the pool conversation, flushed, my eyes fixed on him.
Then the moment when Blue was treating my wound, the camera focused not on the injury but on my face, as he touched me gently, that subtle caress.
And finally, I see myself kneeling before Blue, who is sitting in the chair behind his desk, kissing his hand.
My eyes are wide, my green irises threaded with thin golden lines, ringed with a darker green edge.
I hear my own words apologizing to him, see my lips lowering to his hand in a slow caress, leaving a damp trail of kisses.
Then again, the pool shot, my naked body standing in front of him.
All this time, the cameras I’m connected to are transmitting not just the recorded footage on the wall screen, but also what Blue is doing now… and he’s touching himself.
His small hand wraps around his small, hard penis. What I’m doing is so wrong, there’s no doubt about it, but I’m stunned because I realize that Blue is masturbating while looking at my body, at me, replaying those clips.
Slowly, it becomes clear to me, what I only suspected before; Blue secretly wants me.
Even if he never showed it outside of the gala night… and yet.
The discovery almost chokes me. It's not just one random hard-on on the balcony anymore, it's a fucking mixtape of his memories with me. Me?
My head is dizzy, my breath ragged.
I figured he might feel some kind of fondness toward me, but this is so much more than I expected.
On the wall screen, I see myself sleeping on the bed, arms loosely spread, head tilted slightly on the pillow, lips parted.
It’s clearly from yesterday, when I was recovering from fighting mode.
Thankfully, I’m not drooling. A relief. I watch as Blue gets up and leans over me, his hand softly brushing my cheek and neck, tickling lightly, his finger grazing my lips, brushing against my lower lip.
Blue touched me while I slept!
He, who hates touch!
That realization is another shock. So he does things in secret too, crossing a certain personal boundary?
In a strange way, it comforts me that I’m not alone in crossing lines. His hand moves slowly over his dick, and then… unexpectedly, it stops!
He doesn’t follow through.
He stays like that for a while, and the wall screen fades to gray, my face lingering in the last frame before disappearing. Why doesn’t he finish?
He just lies there, his head tilted toward the ceiling, where a thin line of diodes forms a soft, shifting pattern. Slowly, his erection goes flaccid, and silence settles over the room.
What is this supposed to mean? How should I read it? Does he decide it’s not worth it? What discouraged him?
After a while, Blue gets up and heads to the bathroom. He sets his glasses on the shelf beneath the mirror, and for a brief moment I catch a clear glimpse of his face. He looks different. Drained. Dimmed. Almost… depressed?
Then he turns toward the shower, and through the glasses I see him standing under the stream of water, leaning against the tiled wall, his expression empty, washed clean of emotion.
I shouldn’t keep watching. I don’t want to push this any further. So I cut the connection and shove the hacking setup aside.
My heart is still pounding. What does any of this mean? Blue clearly isn’t free of certain feelings, maybe he’s even sharing the same desires I have, but he refuses to act on them.
The initial rush of excitement shifts.
Instead, I start thinking about how deliberately Blue presents himself as almost asexual in the media, but there’s clearly more to him. Or at least… I’ve seen something that suggests there is.
Still, I can’t understand why he stopped. There has to be more to the secret.
I remind myself that even without a full omega reproductive system, he still has testicles and a prostate. In theory, he can function like a beta, and betas aren’t devoid of libido.
I grab my phone and look it up: "development of an omega without AO reproductive system."
There aren’t many sources, but I find a few. I spend nearly an hour reading, realizing how complex the subject really is.
One thing stands out. Omega testes don’t produce as much testosterone as those of alphas.
Their production is similar to that of betas, but modified and molded by AO-specific glands.
In the case of their absence, the levels of testosterone drop even more, since the endocrine system isn't stimulated enough. It can lead to smaller testicular production and low libido, anorgasmia, or diminished, less intense orgasms. There’s also another factor, which research suggests is often overlooked: the psychological component.
Mental blocks, the lingering shadow of trauma, all of it can interfere with the ability to maintain a healthy sex life. Is that part of Blue’s picture?
I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but it hits me how little I actually know about his medical history. I shouldn’t be forming opinions without understanding it better.
I close my eyes, lying back on the bed, not feeling like moving.
I feel… unsettled, but I’m trying to see the positive side of this: Blue’s not indifferent to me. He thinks about me, spends time watching footage of me, my actions. And he was aroused by watching me, even if he didn't follow through on it.
Summarizing it all.
Something is growing between us. We may have a chance…
But a chance at what? Could a relationship with someone like him even work? He runs a massive company, his life defined by responsibility and risk. And on top of that, he has a complicated medical past.
Where would I even fit into that? I’m nothing compared to someone like him. It would be a complete mismatch.
A true mésalliance.
I push the thought aside. I can’t go down that brooding, pessimistic path right now. I want to feel hopeful, and I also want to focus on untangling his mystery.
And one thing is certain, I want to simply be close to him. Not only in a sexual way, but just to be there for him, to help ease everything that is weighing on him.
Refusing to let my thoughts drift into darker places, I fall asleep holding on to the fact that Blue thinks about me, and that’s… the greatest discovery of all.
◆◆◆
The next morning, I act completely normal, as if nothing happened. Because… what exactly would I even say?
Hey, I hacked into your smart glasses and watched your deeply private, intimate moments?
Yeah, that would sound ‘great’.
Blue is on the phone with his nephew, Sariel. From what I’ve gathered, the two of them are pretty close, but I’ve never met him myself.
Before noon, we make one more stop.
The prison.
I tense up slightly right away when we get to the limousine, because I remember my own prison time far too well. Despite Simon being with us, I ask Blue,
"Can you tell me a bit more about this visit? You mentioned yesterday that this person might be… unhappy," I mutter.
Blue sighs. "Well, he may be… seriously frustrated. His case is unusual. I told you that something unsettling happened at one of the Beta Activation facilities. The warden came up with a ‘creative’ idea to use a mutant to boost the facility’s success rates in…"
My brain stalls for a second. "Wait, did you maybe talk about him with the guy… Gomez? The one you met in the lobby, right before the spitball situation?"
"Yes."
"I kinda heard what you were talking about. I have pretty good hearing, you know."
Blue narrows his eyes. "Well, I remember I asked you to move away…"
"I would have had to leave you without security, and at the same time I heard the alpha preparing the spitball, so… good thing I stayed nearby, right?"
"Right…" Blue has a rare grimace of slight amusement on his face. "In any case, you already know who he is, am I correct?"
"Yes, he has these powerful pheromones, and the warden used him to activate fertility in betas."
Simon snorts quietly.
Blue sighs. "Unfortunately, there are new developments in the case. As you may have overheard, the warden coerced consent from those betas. He threatened to remove them from the program if they didn’t comply.
Fenn Drax carried out his orders… he successfully activated fertility in those betas through intercourse with them," Blue sighs, his jaw clenching, "but… as it turns out, he wasn’t aware that the betas had only agreed under coercion from the warden! Drax was officially given their signed consent forms. However, the situation exploded even more after the leak Gomez warned me about. The first accusations fell on Drax, including rape charges. He was expelled from the program and turned into a scapegoat. He was also attacked on facility grounds. He got seriously pissed off and came back for revenge. He didn’t succeed and instead was caught and thrown into prison. "
"Sounds like a bad situation. I know a bit about being a scapegoat. But what does that have to do with you?"
"Nothing directly…" Blue hesitates. "But I have an idea of how I might give him a certain… chance."
At this moment, the limousine slows as we turn off the main road and pass the outer fence, and the building ahead rises in flat stretches of concrete and steel wrapped in coils of razor wire.
Gerard brings the car to a controlled stop near the checkpoint and keeps the engine running. Simon stays in the limousine.
Blue opens his door before anyone approaches and steps out with the authority so typical of him, composed but alert, his gaze sweeping across the entrance and the guards stationed there.
I circle the front of the car and take my place at his side, close enough to intercept anyone who might come too near.
One of the guards starts toward us, and I shift half a step so that I stand slightly ahead of Blue, forcing the man to address me first before he can get close to my boss.