BLUE
The conversation with Gomez, whom I personally recommend as the new warden of the facility, isn’t particularly engaging.
The man is agreeable to a fault, but he refuses to take responsibility for anything.
He keeps emphasizing that everything wrong here is the result of the previous warden's misconduct, while he himself runs things flawlessly.
Listening to his ongoing explanations, I find myself drifting toward boredom.
Nothing meaningful is going to come out of this approach. A masterclass in deflection.
My thoughts drift toward Gabriel, without any real intent on my part, as they’ve lately started to do by habit, endless reflections and analysis of us, of him, of my emotions, sorting them out in my head, sometimes just going in circles.
At some point, I catch muted voices through my earpiece, the one linking me to the security team. I raise my hand slightly and adjust the volume with a discreet gesture so I can follow what’s being said.
It seems that while Gabriel was standing out in the hallway with Hector and his group, someone approached him and is now trying to negotiate a meeting with me.
Fragments of the exchange reach me, competing with Gomez’s self-serving monologue.
Then I clearly hear Gabriel’s voice.
"Mr. Lowen is deeply devoted to the cause and sacrifices his own private time to tend to matters here. He does much more than you can see on the surface."
I raise a brow, surprised by the direction the argument takes.
"Are you hot for him?" another voice asks.
"What?!" Gabriel snaps back, louder than necessary.
"Does he even know?"
"Know what? What the hell are you talking about?" Gabriel hisses, clearly unwilling to entertain the implication.
"Gabriel, it’s none of my business. If you’re infatuated with your boss, well, I wish you luck. I’ve heard he’s practically a monk, so you may need a lot of luck trying to win him over…"
I lower my eyelids slightly.
Right. That’s how people see us from the outside. Me, a dried-up, wealthy eccentric, a scientist, a monk. And Gabriel? He’s a young, attractive alpha with a rare ability. A perfect relational minefield, an obvious setup for a disaster.
In the end, Gabriel agrees to pass along the request for a meeting, and I already know I’ll accept.
By now I’ve realized the man is the youngest of the Ferros.
The same one who fled the mafia, the one who was targeted here.
That alone would be enough reason to hear him out, but there’s also the practical side.
Doing a favor for one of them could prove useful later.
You never know when Rocco’s position might collapse or who might replace him.
From what I know, the young man opted out of the mafia life, concerned that he would be forced by Rocco to continue cage fighting, since Rocco was an even bigger fan of underground fighting than their uncle Anzo.
When they come in, Gabriel positions himself strategically, placing his body directly between me and Eliano Ferro, to the point where I can barely see the guy past his frame.
He’s clearly on high alert and ready to step in if Ferro decides to avenge his uncle Anzo on the spot.
But that doesn't seem likely, since the young man is not the brutal mafioso type, that much is clear.
The meeting unfolds in a predictable way.
For a while, I listen to the young Ferro’s appeal.
He asks me to intervene and help him gain admission into the Beta Activation Follow-Up program, even though he doesn’t meet the formal criteria.
Eliano argues from a security standpoint, which in his case, as someone being hunted by the mafia, is not without merit.
I agree in the end, but that’s not the part that holds my attention. It’s what happens after he leaves.
Once the door closes, Gomez resumes talking, this time layering even more explanations over the drone incident, but my focus splits between him and the conversation still coming through the earpiece.
Out in the hallway, the discussion is now clearly aimed at discouraging Gabriel from getting involved with me.
So much for gratitude! I agreed to help Eliano, and the jerk repays it by talking me down behind my back.
"Don’t do this, Gabriel. Don’t get involved with him," Ferro says. "He’ll break your heart."
Those words almost echo inside me.
Will I break it?
What if the True Mate magic heals my body, but leaves my mind exactly as it is, full of doubt, skeptical of the whole idea of love?
I opened myself to sex, somehow ending up deeply invested in that side of the experiment, but the love part…
that remains an unanswered variable. Maybe some things simply cannot be rewritten by a Bond?
I can’t deny that I feel deeply attached to him, genuinely fond of him, but what if I can’t return Gabriel’s feelings in the way he hopes for, or to the depth he deserves?
For a moment, I turn inward, searching myself for an answer.
Love… love always felt like something that belonged to family, to blood, to people tied together by history and obligation.
Romantic love is different. Unstable and risky. They call it falling in love for a reason, there’s something inherently dangerous about surrender built into the very phrase.
Yes, yes, I let go of control during sex and enjoyed it, but opening up and giving away control when it comes to feelings? There’s some kind of resistance in me.
"You don’t understand anything," Gabriel replies, his words showing forced restraint.
"That man is twice your age! For all his genius, I think he’s completely ruthless."
"You saw him for ten minutes!" Gabriel’s voice jumps an octave. "You don’t know what he does, who he is, or how many people he’s helped, how many requests he’s granted to people who had no other options.
He’s saved the lives and health of thousands.
Don’t judge him so easily, because it’s incredibly easy to write someone off based on a first impression. "
Wow. That is… quite a speech.
I become strangely aware of the warmth rising in my face. Gabriel doesn’t let himself be swayed, he defends me with passion!
Hearing it stirs something complicated in me. For a moment I feel the impulse to leave the room, ignore Gomez’s endless stream of words, walk out to Gabriel and… do what, exactly?
Put my arms around him in front of everyone? That would be a spectacle.
But I must admit… not many people have ever defended me like that.
It’s wonderful to have him so unequivocally on my side…
A pleasant warmth spreads through my body like a pink, sweet wave, and every cell longs for one thing: to press myself against him and just sink into our closeness… Maybe even snuggle?
As I sit here, I make another effort to listen to Gomez, but I’m not really here.
A small fragment of my soul reaches toward Gabriel in a tangible way, like soft sparks flying between us, or a thin thread of glowing energy physically connecting us.
What is it? That shiver.
And suddenly I recognize what has arisen in me.
Trust.
I trust Gabriel.
Such a new feeling…
Me, of all people. Habitually distrustful, skeptical. And yet he found a way in. My wall has lowered just a tad. My indifference and caution have turned into something that can only be described as… tenderness?
His loyalty carries a priceless weight for me in a world where so many have betrayed me.
So for the rest of my meeting with Gomez, I just let myself stay unfocused, carelessly wallowing in that sweet, blissful surge running through my body, so bright and softly pink.