GABRIEL #2
I feel it, a slight shift near my thigh, Blue’s hand slipping slowly into mine, and a warm, almost electric shiver runs through my whole body.
I lace my fingers with his, turning toward him, and when I meet his sapphire eyes he gives me a small, almost shy smile, like a sweet thank you.
For the rest of the drive I might have been almost happy, if not for what happened to Winter.
Soon we pull up in front of the building where the meeting with representatives of the Japanese government and the company running recruitment for the Beta Activation program is set to take place.
This time there’s a large security presence in the parking area, forming a kind of human corridor that lets Blue move safely into the building.
During the meeting, which takes place in a relatively small room, I stay outside alone with my thoughts.
It drags on for hours, and I keep going back and forth on whether I should message my family. The Nolans must be going through hell right now, but I’m only a cousin, not Winter’s brother, so in the end I decide to give them a couple of days before I send my condolences.
My head is full of heavy thoughts. I know Winter never had much luck in his personal life. He never found the right person, and now his body is somewhere at the bottom of the ocean.
I truly feel like I owe him a lot. If he hadn’t stepped in with Jacob, I don’t know how it would have ended. I’d probably be rotting in prison right now, serving a decade.
I stand there leaning against the wall, lost in it, thinking about how all those situations shaped the fate of both families, and I feel anger, because I used to be one of them, one of those people who didn’t think about consequences, and if those people in the Malden lab had burned alive, it would have meant tragedy for six families, for their parents, siblings, children.
Marcel didn’t care. He had his vision and believed it mattered more than individual suffering, and if my father hadn’t taught me empathy, I might have followed down the same path. He always said that when you turn away from someone’s suffering, you lose part of your own humanity.
Now hundreds of families are suffering because of that plane, because of a single decision someone made. Was it Rocco Ferro? Or NFH? I have no idea, since no one has stepped forward to claim responsibility yet, and the investigation will likely take a while.
◆◆◆
I spend the next stretches of time sunk in those thoughts.
There are two breaks during the meeting.
Simon comes out and brings me snacks, avoiding my eyes in a way that feels off, but Blue never steps outside, and when I ask how much longer it will take, Simon explains that the meeting that was originally supposed to happen with Sariel and Winter has been merged with Blue’s, which is why it’s taking so long, because Blue also has to present the project Sariel worked on.
But once it’s done, we’re heading straight to the airport and going home without delay.
That’s a relief, because it means we’ll finally have some time alone soon.
Eventually the long hours crawl to an end. Blue steps out of the meeting room, with Simon right behind him carrying a stack of documents and notes.
Blue looks pale, and exhausted.
When he sees me there’s a slight shift in his expression, something at the corner of his mouth, a shadow of a smile.
"We’re heading back to the airport?"
"Yes," Blue says quietly.
"Did you get the contract signed?"
"Yes, of course."
"Then congratulations. You had to present the project yourself?"
Blue lifts an eyebrow slightly. "Of course, Gabriel, I couldn’t let Jacob down, especially after what happened, and the rest of the dev team will be here in a few days to continue finalizing the details of the program, but my part is done."
I nod.
The three of us head toward the exit, and this time there’s no need for security. The place is empty now, no crowd waiting for us, so we get into the limousine in silence and start heading to the airport.
On the way, Blue returns a few calls that must have come in while he was in the meeting.
One of them is to Jacob.
Blue asks the driver to pull over at a small parking lot, then steps out of the car to take the call with his brother.
I watch him through the window.
He walks far enough away that we can’t hear anything, but when he comes back about ten minutes later his expression is worse than before, almost crushed, his face chalk-white.
"Hey," I whisper, "It'll be all right. It always is, in the end." I send him a small, reassuring smile. "You’ll manage. I believe in you."
Blue’s eyes rest on my face for a brief moment. He parts his lips like he’s about to say something, but then he stays silent, his energy almost gray.
The ride goes on in silence for a long stretch, and just when I think he’s not going to bring it up, Blue finally speaks.
"Thank you, Gabriel."
I blink, not sure at first what he means, but then he says his next words so quietly that it’s almost just the movement of his lips, which means it’s clearly intended only for me. Simon won’t hear it.
"I stand by what I said back then. Even if the whole world ends up hating me… your opinion matters the most."
The effect those words have on me is immense, like something warm spreading through my chest.
But then…
…I suddenly realize it’s because, at this moment, he doesn’t have the strength to keep up that wall around himself or conceal what he feels; for a second, his hidden emotions break through, and I catch a surge of hurt flowing through the Bond.
Blue’s heartbroken!
I’m almost sure Jacob has unloaded his anger and bitterness on him. He lost his son, and it’s hard not to connect that to the fact that the attack was meant for Blue.
Does Blue’s family hold resentment toward him, leaving him feeling twice as alone, cornered from every side by blame and hostility?
I swallow, then without caring that Simon is right there, I slide down onto my knees next to Blue and lower my head like a knight before his king.
It's the second time I do it publicly, manifesting my reverence, but I simply don't care if this looks funny to Simon.
"I… I’ll always be there for you, Mr. Lowen, by your side. No matter what. My loyalty is uncompromised. And will be forever."
Blue reaches out and rests his hand on the top of my head, as if giving me his blessings, his fingers sliding into my hair, and that same deep, almost overwhelming shiver runs through me again, the one that makes it hard to even breathe, that strange Pull that always starts when he touches me…
I don’t understand how he does that, or why it affects me this much, but it just slips out…
"I love you…" I mouth the words very quietly, hoping only Blue can hear them. His hearing is better than a beta’s, after all.
Our eyes meet. Did he let out a small, barely audible gasp? Hard to tell, but his eyes are locked on mine now.
Still, I need to keep it subtle because Simon is there, staring at us with his mouth slightly open.
Aware of how awkward that looks to him, I pull myself together and straighten up, losing the contact with Blue’s hand, which almost physically hurts, and I clear my throat.
"That is… um, I respect you a lot, Mr. Lowen."
"Thank you, Gabriel. It’s deeply appreciated," his tone official again.
Then he looks down at his hands for a moment in silence, then leans over his tablet, but even from the side I can see he isn’t really working, just staring at the screen.
I can still feel that same confusion in him as before, but can’t dive deeper into his emotions anymore; the wall is back up, and the brief breach has already sealed itself.
All that reaches me now are his general feelings, scattered and chaotic, while whatever is deepest and most vulnerable is hidden once again.
What I can suspect is that Blue is used to people hating him, and maybe he doesn’t know what to do with someone who feels the opposite.
I can only hope that one day he’ll understand that he doesn’t need those walls around me
Simon keeps staring at us as if trying to make sense of the situation. I look away and fight the urge to bite my fingers.
For now, I just want us to be home already and for this whole mess to be over.
Finally we are back at the airport and board the plane.
Blue spends half the flight on the satellite phone and his tablet. At one point, I notice him rubbing the back of his neck. It must be stiff. I don’t want to suggest anything in front of Simon, because he already gets far too many clues, so I say, "Could I speak with you for a moment, Mr. Lowen?"
He raises one brow, but nods, and we step into the bedroom.
"What is it?" he asks once we’re alone.
I let out a breath, closing the door. "I think you should rest for a bit. Lie down. You look exhausted, and your neck is bothering you…"
"So this is why you brought me here?" he says, wagging a finger at me, though there’s amusement in it, and maybe a hint of disbelief.
"Someone has to take care of you, since you forget to rest," I say, spreading my hands, then I sit on the edge of the bed and pat it. "Come on, your neck will thank me."
He lifts his hand again and rubs his sore neck. "I still have a few emails to answer…"
I grab his hand without warning and pull him toward me. "They can wait. You deserve a break," I say, turning him around in one quick motion and settling him on my lap, then I place my hands on the back of his neck and start massaging gently.
At first he tenses a little, like he always does when I’m the one unexpectedly initiating contact, so I decide to address it.
"You still don’t like being casually touched?"
I lean to the side to catch his profile, trying to read his expression.
"I’m learning to… not twitch every time you casually touch me. It’s hard, though."
"Is it unpleasant?"
He huffs softly.
"No, quite the opposite, but… I was never touched growing up. Even my parents avoided it. We weren’t a very… affectionate family. But I’m slowly getting used to the idea of you being… in my space."
I shift back onto the bed, pulling him with me, then ease him onto his side while I stay behind him, and I start purring.
His body relaxes almost immediately, settling against my chest as it vibrates, and my free hand moves over him in slow, soothing strokes along his shoulder, his side, the curve of his hip, then down his thigh.
It goes on for a while, his breathing deepens, and I start to catch the increasing scent of his slick, and then suddenly…
"Put it inside."
Well. No ambiguity there. I push his pants down to his knees in one smooth motion, exposing the pale curve of his ass, then I look between his cheeks and find him already open and wet, waiting for me.
"As you can see, my body definitely likes your touch," he mutters, and I can see his swollen petals slowly opening up as I watch…
The rush of arousal hits so hard it almost knocks the breath out of me; with my heart pounding and my face burning, I undo my fly and free my dick, then press against the open pink ring, and slide inside, the sensation so overwhelming I nearly come on the spot, and I have to stop and breathe for a moment just to keep from spilling into him instantly.
"Fuck… you feel too good," I murmur, fighting the pull.
"Let yourself fall…" he says softly, his tone a bit dazed, "I will join…"
And I do let myself fall.
Five thrusts, that’s all it takes before the pleasure hits so hard I let out a low groan, and instinctively I reach around to wrap my hand around his cock, feeling him throb and pulse just like me, only without a sound.
Now his body loosens even more, almost melting into the sheets.
I sink down behind him again, still inside, purring once more.
"Mmm…" Blue murmurs, "that’s… nice…"
We lie like that for a while, him half asleep, drifting somewhere between rest and something lazy sensual, until it starts to show in the way his hips move, small, unsteady motions pressing back onto my dick, begging for more, and I don’t need to be asked twice.
I roll him onto his stomach and brace myself over him on my elbows, glancing down at the place I’m buried between his ass cheeks, still amazed that he can take me at all.
Something about his strange, almost-rose-omega physiology clearly makes it possible.
The ring of petals is stretched around my thick dick’s base and it looks just insane.
I plant my hands beside his head and start moving my hips, enjoying how wet he is, the rub, the swaying movement itself makes me dizzy, and I catch myself groaning with every thrust, every slide into him pushing me closer to the breathless edge.
"I can’t… I just need to—"
"Go for it…"
And I do. I let go completely. The orgasm hits hard, rippling through me as I press into him, my voice breaking as I come inside him, barely able to form words.
"Too good… you’re too good… gonna kill me…"
"Doubt that…"
I keep rambling anyway, lost in it, lights bursting behind my eyes like fireworks. "Is it mine… this perfect, tight heat… is it only mine?"
"Only yours, Gabe…"
That sends another wave through me, enough to drag out one more pulse before I finally collapse against him… Then I reach down under his hip and find the damp evidence there. Well, it’s obvious; during sex we’re completely in sync, like a closed circuit. And I love that.