GABRIEL #5
"Some—sometimes I can’t focus anymore. I used to think I was smart, and now I lose simple words.
The one thing I was so proud of is sli—slipping away from me while this…
thing eats my brain," he says, taking a breath.
"And now you show up and give me ho—hope? You? That’s ironic.
After all the hatred I threw at you, after what I wanted to do to you…
the—the cruelty…" He tenses, frustrated that the word doesn’t come easily.
"Funny. This feels like a bigger punishment than prison. Because it hurts more."
Blue gives a slight shrug.
"The decision is yours, Marcel. If you accept, contact me."
Still matter-of-factly. He places his business card on the bed.
Then he stands up, but just as he straightens, Marcel’s hand trembles as it reaches out and grabs the card.
"Wait! Wait… I’d be an idiot if I didn’t accept your pro—posal, but don’t expect that in this one brief moment we’ll suddenly become friends."
Blue sighs. "I’m not here to start a friendship."
"Good. But one thing I can promise… we’ll stop being enemies. I’m not ungrateful."
I let out a hostile snort but don’t say anything.
Marcel is ungrateful and an opportunist. He always has been when it comes to me, I’m not naive enough to believe he’s suddenly changed.
But Blue answers in an even tone, "I don’t expect anything from you, Marcel. You’re free to keep hating me. My decision has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with me. I have a rule that I don’t hold grudges, and I try to treat people as if we always have a clean slate between us."
Marcel gives a faint, crooked smile. "How weird. What you’re saying actually brings me some re—lief. I appreciate that this is how you see it and how you approach it. I accept your o—offer, and I truly thank you for it."
I’m practically boiling inside, but I stay silent. Oh, he accepts it, wow, how nice of him…
Blue nods and glances at me.
"My doctors will contact the head of the hospital. Let’s go, Gabriel, our business here is done."
Wow, that was fast. Straight to the point. But I’m not done, far from it.
"Give me a second, Blue. Could you wait outside for a moment? I want to say something to the bastard."
"Sure," Blue says and just walks out.
Silence creeps over the room.
Marcel looks at me, and I get the sense he’s a little lost, unsure, afraid, like he expects that even if Blue treated him with that kind of grace, I won’t extend the same courtesy. And he’s right.
I give him a dark smile.
"Relax, Marcel. Unlike you, I don’t want to hurt people physically. But that doesn’t mean I won’t say exactly what I think."
Marcel lets out a bitter, subdued laugh. "I deserve every word you’re about to say."
"Don’t. Don’t play that game. Oh, how you repent for your sins, asshole…
Don’t pretend you feel guilty in front of me.
I know you all too well. I doubt you believe any of this.
You’d grab onto any opportunity and fake gratitude if it suits you.
Let’s be clear about that. But it doesn’t matter.
What I want to tell you is why…" I clench my jaw tighter, "… why I once fell in love with you."
A strange silence stretches between us.
Marcel looks away, fixing his eyes on the empty wall like he doesn’t want to hear it, but I don’t stop.
"One day I was walking along a campus path.
It was early fall. The air was hot and heavy, nobody felt like being out there, and then I saw this beautiful, tiny, young omega with long dark hair and blue eyes full of light, handing out flyers despite the heat.
The flyer told the story of a man…" my voice falters slightly, "who suffered severe side effects from one of Malden’s drugs, and their lawyers brushed him off like he was nothing.
And even with the sky pressing down with heat, you kept going, raising awareness, telling people that pharmaceutical giants need to be held accountable, that standards in medical care need to be higher.
" I exhale loudly. "That’s what I saw in you back then, Marcel.
The tiny omega tirelessly wandering through the campus pathways in his quest to bring justice for those treated unjustly.
I saw something bigger in you. Courage… that drew me in, the beauty of your soul…
not just on the outside but inside too. But the beauty faded, turned into something ugly and twisted.
Funny, now I see it in him, on the other side of that mirror.
Back before the tumor, you really did care about change…
but change toward something better, constructive, not toward chaos and destruction, and death, and rape… "
I fall silent and lower my head. I don’t want to look at that frail body under the thin blanket, slowly fading.
"You know, I’m asking Fate that if this therapy works, it brings back that passionate version of you I fell in love with, not the one the tumor created."
Tears are now falling from Marcel’s eyes, one after another, like glass beads sliding down his hollow cheeks and onto his thin neck.
"For the past year I couldn’t look at myself in the mi—mirror, Gabs, because every time I did…
I saw these dark patches… like black hands pressing into my eyes…
and that anger I couldn’t ex—plain, that struggle inside me whispering, ‘kill, destroy…’ As this damn tumor kept growing, it kept telling me to destroy everything, but in reality it was destroying me… "
I straighten up and take a step back.
"Well, I hope that’s true. I really do. I hope you find your way again, the one you originally wanted to walk, even if before that you’d have to spend years in prison.
That doesn’t mean you can’t still make a difference.
Your voice still matters to a lot of people.
Be a force for something good. That’s what I wish for you.
And… good luck fighting the enemy you’re carrying inside you. "
Marcel lets out a faint, sad laugh.
"Isn’t that the uni—versal truth, Gabriel? The greatest enemy always lives inside us, hidden deep in the heart… and that’s the one we end up having the ultimate battle with. The on—only battle that matters."
I want to respond, throw in some sarcastic comment about cheap philosophy delivered from a hospital bed, but somehow I don’t. I’d rather see that bed as a place where there’s still hope, even if it means I’m naive. This time, I consciously choose to be.
"Goodbye," I say. "And good luck, Marcel."
I walk out of the room, feeling strangely light. One day, I might even let go of my anger toward him. I won’t forget, but leaving it behind could be the only way to free myself from the suffocating grip of hate.
Blue is waiting for me in the hallway, looking down at his ever-present tablet.
He lifts his eyes to me, filled with light, and suddenly, for the first time, I notice a subtle new note in his scent.
I close my eyes and breathe in deeply, a shiver running through me like the first hint of spring.
"Blue… your scent has changed."
"Oh? How?"
I let out a shaky huff.
"I think we’re stepping onto a new path. One on which we won’t be walking through life just the two of us anymore…"
Silence. Blue closes his eyes for a moment, his hands coming to rest against my chest.
"Say that again… say it one more time," he whispers, blinking slowly.
I take a deep breath.
"We’re going to have a child, Blue! He’s already growing inside you. Your scent has taken on this… vanilla note. A change is coming, a big one."
Blue cautiously rests his forehead against my chest.
"A part of me already knew. And another part… still doesn’t."
"You can confirm it with an ultrasound, but my sense of smell is pretty good. I can tell."
A long moment passes, his forehead still pressed against me. I can hear his heartbeat picking up.
"I know what you’re thinking. About when to tell our families. And the world," I say, not entirely sure I’m right.
"That too. But I also feel fear. The responsibility for a child will be enormous in a world where my life is constantly at risk."
I stay quiet, not sure what to say, and then Blue exhales.
"I’ll have to change my life, Gabriel. Become more private. Fewer public appearances, fewer interviews, fewer business meetings."
"Won’t you miss it?"
Blue straightens and looks at me seriously.
"It’s part of this new path. It’s not a loss, Gabriel.
It’s simply a change. A conscious one. Something I want…
and need. I’ve already fulfilled myself on the other path, and I was starting to burn out.
And the greatest discovery of my life is almost done.
Then I will be able to partially relay some of my duties.
Adams is a competent man who will manage well. "
His hand slowly moves to his stomach, uncertain, almost tentative.
"Yes…" Blue adds. "Change is coming. A challenge. But as you know, I… I’m not afraid of challenges. I built my entire life on them."
Before I was a bit wary of this term, seeing it as his way of distancing himself, but suddenly I get it. The powerful drive hidden in him, carrying him through his life, the immense energy… needs sequencing, regulating, taming.
I put my hand on his shoulder and slowly slide my fingers up to his cheek. What I notice is that he doesn’t shiver at my touch, maybe the first time?
"Your strength is… so sexy, you have no idea. Some alphas like fragile and subdued omegas but that’s not for me. I'm sooo attracted to you, Blue, it's insane!"
Blue cocks his head and smiles, wide and bright.
"Strength? Have you seen yourself in the mirror, Gabe? You’re the kind of guy who just never gives up. Fate really did make us a perfect match. That much is certain."
I chuckle and take his hand. Walking like this, we go back to the limousine, leaving the hospital and Marcel behind.
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