Chapter BLUE
BLUE
I slowly open my eyes, and for a moment panic crashes into me because I think I might’ve slept through five meetings in the middle of the day, but then I remember it’s Saturday. I should probably go to the lab, but for now it can wait.
What surprises me is that everything around me seems darker than usual. I turn my head to the side, and my eyes land on a sapphire-colored wall of pillows…
"What the hell is this…" I mumble.
Slowly, I sit up and look around.
Wow. I’m sitting in the middle of something that loosely resembles a nest.
And suddenly something inside me stirs.
For a moment I try to process it, but it’s hard to describe all the emotions reaching me right now.
Did Gabriel make some kind of joke out of me, or is this his idea of a gift? Or maybe it’s supposed to be a suggestion?
I know alphas naturally want their omegas to nest in a healthy way. Nesting may be deeply tied to omegas, but somehow the instinct spills over onto alphas too.
An alpha whose omega doesn’t nest carries this constant unease because of that absence. It’s an obvious sign that something in the relationship still hasn’t fully healed…
Does Gabriel carry that same longing and the same uneasiness?
I spend a moment thinking it over.
Maybe I should get irritated and say, "Why are you doing this when I’m not ready, and maybe I never will be," but at the same time, I know Gabriel means well, he would never want to hurt me like this.
So how am I supposed to approach this?
Another moment passes while I sort through my thoughts.
That secret part of me, my inner teenager, is curious about it, so I give in to his whispers and reach out to lightly touch one of the pillows.
It feels nice beneath my fingers, slightly cool, really pleasant. My hand drifts over the surface almost absentmindedly while I toy with the delicate embroidery along the edge.
I reach inward, realizing that my teenager alter ego finds a strange sort of solace in these rounded shapes formed by the pillows surrounding me. A feeling of unexpected safety.
I never used to draw comfort from physical forms around me. Mine always came from knowledge, from competence, from control over what I understood.
But whatever he wants is still too subtle to push to the surface, and I remain hesitant.
So eventually I get up and slip out of the makeshift nest my alpha built for me.
I take a shower, then leave the bedroom only to find Gabriel lying on the couch in the living room.
Maybe he had been napping, but his eyes are open now, and they immediately meet mine.
Right away I notice the worry in them, fear over what I’m about to say, how I’m going to react.
So he’s been tormenting himself over this too?
We never really talked about nesting before.
But maybe now is the moment.
I walk over and sit beside him. Our eyes meet.
Calmly, I say,
"I know your alpha nature wants everything inside me to heal, but you know nesting is a process that can take years. It’s a slow maturation of neural pathways in the brain that shape a very specific structure… Even if we’re True Mates, it still might never happen."
Gabriel blinks at me with the expression of someone caught stealing.
"I know… Sorry, this is lame, trying to explain myself like this, but I wasn’t even the one who brought those pillows here. Veyron did. They caught his eye during some sale, he liked the sapphire color and figured he could give us the set as a gift."
I tilt my head slightly, studying him.
"A gift from Veyron is one thing, but I doubt he was the one arranging those pillows around me, right?"
Gabriel bites his lip.
"Okay, yeah, you got me. Pretty pathetic trying to pin it on him. I don’t know, I just kind of… got carried away. Sorry."
"Don’t apologize for your nature. I’m the one who should feel bad for not having that instinct. It probably makes you anxious."
Silence settles between us for a moment. Gabriel’s hand lightly picks at the edge of my pants and I know I’m right, it is making him uneasy.
Eventually he lifts those large gold-green eyes toward me.
"I just know how much peace and happiness nesting brought my dad. He used to make these beautiful nests with pillows covered in traditional Russian folk patterns… They looked like works of art."
I sigh.
"Wow, I’m competing with quite a standard. Pillows with Russian folk designs…" I say teasingly, tilting my head a little.
"That’s not what I meant!" Gabriel corrects himself quickly. "I don’t want you feeling pressured, or like I expect nests like that…" He lets out a breath. "I just thought the bed looked kind of aesthetic… So think of it more like decor, okay?"
I give him a knowing smile. I know he’s trying to talk his way out of this, but frankly, I understand him.
"It’s fine. We can buy more nice pillows, and if arranging them makes you happy, you can experiment with setting them up in different ways."
Gabriel snorts.
"Ha ha, very funny. A nesting alpha… that would probably count as blasphemy and an insult to every omega on Earth."
I roll my eyes.
"That’s not what I’m suggesting. But if you enjoy the look of pillows on the bed, then you can be the one in charge of arranging them however you want that day. I’m not talking about a nest, just… yes, decorating."
Gabriel studies me for a moment before speaking again.
"Okay. But if there ever comes a day when you actually want to arrange them yourself, then take over, alright?"
"Sure."
Silence falls between us again.
I watch Gabriel for a while.
He’s only wearing gray sweatpants, his chest bare. His hair is still slightly damp, so he must’ve showered recently. His young, pleasant face is turned a little toward the window, and the light filtering through it turns his green irises into thin streaks of gold.
My gaze drifts lower to his lips, soft, inviting, tempting.
I’m rarely the one who initiates sex or erotic touch. That’s just not how things work between us. Unless Gabriel very clearly encourages me to take a more active role, like putting me in a riding position or something similar, I stay completely passive. Yes, still a pillow prince.
But suddenly the fact that I so sporadically initiate anything between us starts feeling strange.
With a trace of hesitation, I reach out and slide my hand over his shoulder before slowly moving down onto his pleasantly defined pecs.
Gabriel looks surprised, but at the same time his pulse noticeably quickens.
My fingertips glide across his sculpted abs, moving lower toward his crotch where something is already starting to form.
Gabriel’s eyes stay fixed on me, almost questioning, like he’s giving me an opportunity to tell him I want him to take over.
Ah. He knows me too well.
But this time I want to lead.
I brush against the heavy bulge, then, acting on impulse, grab the waistband and tug it down. Gabriel cooperates by lifting his hips slightly, letting me push the sweatpants lower.
His thick dick is already almost fully hard, and I send Gabriel a smirk.
"I guess he’s happy to see me."
With a hint of sudden shyness that feels completely unlike me, I lean down and brush the tip of my tongue against his cock. Gabriel freezes, staring at me.
I've never done this before, but why shouldn't I try? Gabriel is my fated. He's clean, healthy. There's just one small problem, or rather… a very big one.
Frankly, I doubt I'd be able to fit him into my mouth without dislocating my jaw. And even if I managed it, there's no way he'd actually fit. My mouth is just too small.
Still, I intend to make a serious effort.
I slide my tongue beneath the massive head, circling around the slit, and a strange but pleasant thrill rushes down my spine. Excitement flickers through me, warm and unexpected.
His face is flushed now, his eyes fixed on me. He looks incredibly pleased. Maybe because his partner is finally daring to try something new. Yeah, his serious, cautious, never-takes-the-initiative partner.
But not today.
I press my lips against the red tip, leaving a trail of kisses across it. My tongue slowly traces along the ridged surface, thick veins, brushing against it, and I can feel my pulse steadily climbing.
"That feels really nice," Gabriel murmurs.
I lift myself just enough to take the upper part of the head into my mouth while my hands wrap around his shaft. Then I get to work, stroking him with steady, firm movements. Gabriel exhales sharply. His hips tense, his thighs flexing beneath my hands.
And I let my energy connect with his through our Bond.
I open myself completely, without any ‘buts’, without any barriers.
The energy between us locks together, and suddenly I know exactly what I need to do, exactly which movements will give him the most pleasure. Information flows between us, and everything he's feeling starts feeding into me almost perfectly, as if I were doing this to myself.
It's a strange sensation, but there's something comforting about it too. The way we're both letting each other in, letting our energies mingle. It's relaxing. Liberating.
"Ah, Blue, Blue…" Gabriel whispers, closing his eyes.
His fingers sink into my hair, and I know what's coming.
My own body is perfectly ready as well. A moment later, I redouble my efforts, picking up the pace, and then…
I come.
I haven't touched myself even once, but pleasure explodes through me anyway. The sudden intensity catches me off guard because this isn't my orgasm.
It's his. And through our Bond, he shares it with me.
His taste is warm and sweet, like rich cream, and I swallow greedily, shamelessly licking my mouth afterward.
Slowly, I lift my head. My lips feel swollen and flushed, and Gabriel's gaze immediately locks onto them.
"You know, being True Mates is actually pretty convenient. Instead of one orgasm, you basically get two as a bonus."
Gabriel lets out a soft, warm laugh. His fingers run through my hair, brushing it back from my face before returning to my lips and smearing a bit of his jizz on my chin.
"That was my first blowjob received, and somehow, like always, you were perfect at it."
I tilt my head playfully.
"You can't possibly know that. You've never had anyone else."
"Fair point. But I'd bet a million dollars I don't have… that you're the best in the world." A grin spreads across his face. "At least for me!"
I hesitate for a moment before speaking.
"But you do have a million dollars. A lot more than a million, Gabriel. We're True Mates. That means everything I have belongs to you too."
Gabriel grows serious. He looks away for a moment before speaking quietly.
"I appreciate that. I really do. But you know me. Money was never the most important thing in my life."
His hand slides from my face to my glands. Then, over my hardened nipples, it travels lower across my stomach.
"Family will always come first for me. You and our son." A small smile touches his lips.
"My dad raised Marlow and me that way. He passed down those old Slavic values. Family and… um… gloomy expressions."
I burst out laughing. "Okay, I didn’t expect that twist to come."
Gabriel immediately puts on an exaggeratedly grim expression.
"I think that particular part of your Slavic heritage wasn't passed down very effectively. I'd say that's more my specialty."
"I disagree," Gabriel says, turning serious again.
Then he pulls himself up slightly, leans forward, and presses a quick kiss to my lips.
"Masks aren’t people. And I can see the light behind yours."