10. Cody
TEN
CODY
Three months later…
Gage and I had come to somewhat of an understanding after he told me about his family dying. He agreed not to talk bad about himself—like saying he isn’t worthy of love—or to talk about the tragedy of Claire’s and Jonah’s deaths being his fault. Because they weren’t. They truly were not his fault, but I’m not sure he’s really come to believe that just yet. He was still clinging to that guilt a little bit. He’s done it for so long, it’s just a habit now. But at least if he’s not repeating it out loud, his subconscious won’t be constantly taking in that affirmation as if it were fact. We’ve had to take baby steps in relation to this, but I’m confident he’ll get there someday soon.
Today, we were going to hike up to the fire lookout tower again. Gage was going forward with becoming a volunteer fire lookout, and I’d already begun his training. Of course, he picked everything up very quickly. He’s so intelligent, and when he’s really motivated about something, look out! I wasn’t really sure, to be honest, why we were training again today. He’d already perfected everything I’d taught him so far, but he said he had some further questions. So, we were making the trek up there this afternoon. Even though I didn’t really understand the purpose of the trip, I would never turn down alone time with Gage, especially surrounded by that spectacular view.
Things have been going well with Gage. We had officially begun dating, even though I knew the thought of that still scared him to death. As we’d been taking baby steps to work through his past trauma, we’d also been taking baby steps in our relationship. I honestly don’t mind it, though, most of the time. We’d been making out like horny teenagers afraid their parents would come home any moment—meaning we haven’t actually gotten naked together. And I really wanted to. The vision of him shirtless was still burned into my memory. But I would very much like to see that particular show live, maybe with an x-rated version featuring a pants-less Gage. Honestly, I’d imagined it so many times. But I was sure the reality would blow my imagination out of the water. I wasn’t sure what kind of sign Gage was waiting to see to let him know we’re ready to move on to the next stage, but I really hope he sees it soon. I wanted my mountain man to grab me and take me and claim me. And I wouldn’t even mind being thrown up onto his shoulder fireman-style and being carried off to his cabin for him to have his wicked way with me. Oh, yeah. I think I would like that very much. I might have to drop a not-so-subtle hint about that.
My lovely Mountain Man Gage fantasies were rudely interrupted by the sound of Pop’s voice behind me.
“Wake up there, Sunny! You’re catching flies again, just leaning over the counter on your elbows with your mouth hanging wide open and drool catching in the corners. Good thing your beau isn’t here, because that is not an attractive look, trust me.”
“Yeah, Pop, I got it. No need to drive the point home quite so brutally, though. I admit it, I was daydreaming about Gage. Can you blame me?” I said, dreamily.
“Not my type, kiddo. But, speaking of Gage, aren’t you meant to be meeting him right about now?”
I checked the time on my phone. Crap! I was late! Guess I’d lost track of time while I was fantasizing about my sexy mountain man. “Thanks for the reminder, Pop. Gotta go!”
“Be careful,” Pop said. “Don’t go into daydreaming-and-catching-flies mode on the trail or you’re liable to fantasize yourself right off the side of the mountain.”
I ignored his little joke and just waved my hand at him, but I could still hear him cackling as the door to the bar swung closed. I guess, who needs other people to laugh at your jokes when you can just crack yourself up? Never change, Pop!