22. Dreamscape of Damnation
Dreamscape of Damnation
CASPIAN
Her auburn hair glistened beneath the golden beams of the setting sun that slipped through the cracked window. I admired her freckled skin and the radiance clinging to her. Head tipped back at the joke I’d made, her laughter spilled through the small kitchen of our cottage.
To most, it wasn’t much, but to us, it was everything.
Exposed timber beams accented the soaring vaulted ceiling.
Our loft bedroom overlooked the cozy living room below, the two spaces connected with an elegant wooden spiral staircase.
Soft amber blended with the natural light; the few lanterns we hung only lit when night neared.
The crackling fireplace joined in, its gentle pops easy to hear as I settled on the leather sofa.
Rohen moved through the compact kitchen, snatching her preferred copper cookware to set it on the wood countertop.
Nursing the space just as she had the plants that filled it, cascading pothos and ivy trailing from the exposed beams and loft railings, her hum wove through the silence.
She gently pulled a handful of herbs from their potted home on the kitchen windowsill, my eyes sweeping from her to the large monsteras and fiddle-leaf figs that occupied the corners of the room.
Overhead, the ferns that spilled from the hanging baskets suspended near the skylight seemed to sway with her song.
“Don’t tell me you’ve already dozed, Caspian Vayne,” she warned, perching herself on her toes to peer over at me.
Lifting my head, I offered her a raised brow. “How could I when I have far too much beauty to look at?”
She rolled her eyes, but I didn’t miss the soft smile that coaxed the corners of her mouth upward. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Perhaps,” I teased, quickly sitting up as she took a step toward me. “No, stop. Let me come to you.”
With a shove, I pushed myself off the cushions to stand. It only took a handful of strides before I was in front of her, hands settling on her hips. Massaging them gently, she groaned in relief, her forehead settling on my chest.
“Gods, that feels so good.”
“I can imagine, considering you’re only three weeks out from being full term.” Moving my touch, I pressed my palm to her round belly. “You don’t have to cook, little siren; I’m happy to.”
“But I want to,” she grumbled. “Movement helps with labor, or so the midwife said.”
My lips brushed against the crown of her head. “Then I suppose I cannot stop you.”
“No, you can’t, but what you can do is keep rubbing my hips like that.”
“I will happily follow you around this kitchen to do so.”
She lifted her chin, peering up at me with her vibrant emerald stare—the stare I had fallen in love with. She went to reply, but as I blinked, she vanished from in front of me.
Panic swelled as I whipped around; what was once a comforting space transformed into a nightmare.
I stood on a narrow path, its length twisted through a canyon of jagged black spires.
On either side of me, rivers of molten fire spilled down the cliffs like glowing waterfalls, casting a blood-red light across the rocks.
Heat rose from the abyss below, carrying sparks that drifted through the air like embers from an endless forge.
Beneath my feet, the ground seemed to vibrate with something ancient and worn, while ahead, the trail climbed higher.
Winding toward a towering citadel perched atop a mountain of broken stone, it deteriorated even more with each echoed footstep.
The fortress seemed impossibly distant, yet its pale walls and sharp spires dominated the horizon.
Drawn in by its unnatural lure, something else screamed inside me to run, that someone needed me…
A hand closed around my throat, hoisting me from the stone.
Ashen skin manifested, relics carved up every inch of the arm that slowly formed before a body joined.
Burning coal irises met mine, horns twisted against her hairless head.
With a smile, Sorva squeezed tighter, thieving every ounce of oxygen from my lungs.
“Hello, Caspian, darling.”
Instinctively, I kicked my legs, nails trying to pry her hold from me. Pressure assaulted my mind, a numbness flooding my extremities as her talons sank into my flesh.
“There is no running. Not anymore,” she mewled. “You believe yourself free? That you have a chance of that future with Rohen?”
“L-Let… me…”
Constricting even further, my spine cracked beneath her wrath. “Let me remind you who you belong to. The bind I hold over your soul ensures you remain my obedient little mutt, so… Let’s test it, yes?”
Air flooded my essence, a slew of coughs following as I collided with the path. No, not the path… The kitchen floor.
Rohen dropped to a knee to cup my face. “Cas. Hey, Cas. Look at me. What happened?”
Disoriented, I sucked in a breath as I took in my surroundings. Gone was the lava, the lush foliage replacing the horrors of wherever I had ended up. Blinking once, I met her concerned stare. “Yeah, I… I don’t know what—”
My utterance faded as my eyes lifted, spotting the billowing cloak and towering figure standing behind Rohen. Mouth opening, Sorva’s sharpened canines gleamed with bloodlust. “Kill her.”
Unable to stop myself, I was on my feet, snatching the blade from the counter that Rohen had selected. Without pause, I pivoted and drove the steel into her stomach, twisting it as soon as it reached the hilt.
“C-Cas…” Rohen whimpered, blood trickling from her lips as she gasped for a nonexistent inhale. “Caspian… W-Why—”
A hitched breath tore itself from my raw throat as I sat up. Palms flat against my cot, my chest rose and fell with my panic. Skin slick with sweat and legs bound by sheets, I ran a trembling hand down my face.
“It was just a dream…” I whispered, unsure whether I was trying to convince myself I was awake or to test whether I was still trapped in my subconscious. “Just a dream…”
Dropping my head into my hands, I closed my eyes to try to ignore the tremors that continued to rock my frame. With a sigh, I removed my touch and allowed my arms to fall into my lap as I stretched my neck. Lids fluttering open, my blood iced over at what greeted me.
A thick layer of crimson stained my palms, continuing onto the white fabric wound around my frame.
Sucking in a breath, the revulsion only persisted, the spilled life force that trickled from my bare chest in the shape of handprints.
I tried to swipe it away, but it only spread the coagulated liquid, and hysteria ensued.
Tearing myself from where I rested, I hit the ground in a heap.
The stained linens followed me as if in mockery, clinging to my body with adamance.
Fingers curling around them, I tried to loosen their hold, but they refused, only seeming to tighten with my building perturbation.
My throat constricted, and the very act of drawing in a breath vanished entirely.
Lungs burning at the absence, I slid across the floor until my back hit the wall with a resounding thud.
Gathering fistfuls of my hair, I shook my head and tugged, trying to draw myself from my own damnation.
When the dull ache wasn’t enough, I pulled even harder, pleading to whatever god would listen to make it stop.
Caspian…
Make it stop.
Caspian.
Make it stop.
“Caspian!” A hand settled on my shoulder, another wrapping around my forearm. “Cas, fucking hell. What happened?”
Fearful of what I would find, I hesitantly lifted my chin to find Sapphira crouched in front of me.
Brows drawn together in concern, her caramel irises held mine.
Her touch slowly faded, only for her fingers to find mine, unwinding them from my locks as she replaced my harsh yanks with light scratches.
Emotion swelled as adrenaline wore off, leaving only unrelenting fear. My inhale fractured, and a sob replaced my exhale as I collapsed into her.
“Hey… Hey,” she murmured, tracing gentle circles along my back. “It’s okay. I’ve got you, Cas. I’ve got you. Gods, I’m so sorry…”
Unable to find a reply, I wept. Years of pent-up anger that had never belonged to me slipped between every shattered breath.
All the regret I harbored tumbled out in pitiful whimpers, flashes of my past assaulting my mind as images of Alastair reminded me of all I’d lost. Essence fracturing, the realization slammed into me—I had only ever known myself beneath Sorva’s control, and the man who existed beneath the martyr she created was a stranger.
The man who longed for Rohen was screaming for freedom, for a gasp of fresh air after being shoved under the icy depths of Sorva’s containment for so long.
He was pleading for freedom in a world where such a concept didn’t exist, crying out for reprieve from the monster who wore his flesh.
The person I had been in my dream was a glimpse of all I thought I could have, all I wished for, knowing damn well it was an impossible reality.
I was a fool.
Saph pulled me closer, my head falling to meet her chest. “You’re here, Caspian. Not wherever—”
“I don’t want to be here…” I mumbled, the same numbness from my nightmare swathing my senses. “This existence is a trap, Saph, and I want out… Gods, I fucking want out…”
“And we will get you out, I promise you.” Her voice dropped, as if she were concerned Malrik would hear us, but he was the least of my worries.
“No, she won’t,” Sorva purred down our link, her talons brushing against the back of my mind.
“Do you not recall your dream, Caspian? That is what awaits you if you keep opposing me. If you do not long to suffer, then allow yourself to plummet into my hold. Give yourself to me again, just as you always have.”
“Get out of my fucking head.”
“Impossible.” Her smile was evident in her tone.
“You and I belong together, and we are going to accomplish great things. The realm of Wraelira will fall, and I will be so kind as to grant you a place of regality while all those around you are rendered to pitiful servants.” My lips parted with every desire to express my loathing audibly, but she prevented it.
“Shush. We don’t need Sapphira worried about your well-being when she is there to make sure you obey, do we?
Listen and be a good boy for me, would you?
You’re about to dock in Hollowmere, and I want you to do what you did to Rohen in your dream. ”
“No…” I heaved, barely able to form the single syllable.
“Yes.”
“No—”
White-hot agony lashed up my back, lapping at the base of my skull. An uncontrolled scream shredded itself free from my throat as I shoved myself from Sapphira’s arms. Another spike of affliction followed, and my palms slapped against the wooden floor as nausea churned in my gut.
Digging my nails into the planks, I gasped for air as I caught sight of my hands once more.
No longer coated in crimson, never having been coated in crimson, my veins pulsed with an inky darkness.
Shoulders rolling forward, I heaved, expelling the minimal contents of my stomach.
Instead of bile, my lineage coated the floor, and another retch followed, but where there should have been scarlet, all that greeted me was black.
“Oh, gods, Caspian…” Horror laced through Sapphira’s utterance. “Elaros, save him…”
With Sorva’s presence looming, I could feel her taloned fingers glide up my spine as if she were in the room with us. Thoughts evaporating into nothingness, a near-manic laugh was my response, and everything fell back into place as wrath consumed me once more.
“There is no salvation,” I snarled as I peered over at my navigator. “Not when we are seconds from docking in Hollowmere, and Rohen still breathes.”