Chapter 7 #3
“This is not about justice. This is about retrieving Jamie alive. Do not dictate to me again who I can and cannot bring into my house.”
“Your house! You have never cared about Stonehaven . . . or this house! Why would you care for my son?”
For a moment, Roxburghe said nothing. Then his hand went to Rose’s arm as he handed her over to Jason.
“Help Lady Roselyn to her quarters in the east wing. McBain will be by later to tend to her leg. Then bring Anaya Fortier to me. And Jason . . . I am the only person here from whom you receive your orders.”
The lad nodded. “Aye, my lord.”
Rose felt dizzy and sick, but as Jason’s hand came to her elbow, she drew her arm back with as much dignity as she could manage in her state of exhaustion. She neither wanted nor needed kindness from Ruark Kerr or his minions, and could ascend the stairs on her own.
Ruark waited until Rose was out of sight of the hallway before turning to face Julia.
With tears in her eyes, she took a step back as if he would strike her.
The action sobered him, perhaps because his father had been known to own a heavy hand on matters of emotional discourse. He was nothing like his father.
“Do you think I am going to hit you, Julia? Is that what you think?”
“Oh, Ruark . . .” She buried her face in her hands. “I don’t know what I am thinking or saying any longer. I . . . I don’t know. Truly, I am sorry . . .”
“For what? For a mother’s anger and frustration? For something that was not your doing to begin with?” He pulled her into his arms. “Christ, Julia . . .”
“I am lost. I thought I was strong. I am not . . . My son is all I have in this life.”
She continued to weep. Closing his eyes, Ruark remembered a time in his life when he had always held her thus.
She had once been his closest friend . .
. before life had changed them both as abruptly as a summer storm changed the landscape after a flood.
Yet, thirteen years suddenly did not seem so long ago.
He held his palm to her head. Julia dabbed a tear from her eye with the tip of finger. “Do you trust me?” he asked.
“I have always trusted you.”
He tilted her chin and looked into once-familiar blue eyes. “Except when you are frightened.”
She pulled away from him. He had not meant the words to be more than what they were, an attempt to give her hope. But the past lay between them, a memory of the last time he had come to her when she had asked for help.
Aye, they both remembered well enough what she had once cost him, but he felt guilt to realize how soon he had put aside her fate after being banished from Scotland.
She had changed much from the girl she had been.
He saw the circles beneath her eyes, but he also saw strength in a mother’s determination to protect her son.
“There was a time your da would have killed ye for touchin’ her as ye are,” Duncan said from behind them.
He stood leaning in the entry-hall doorway, a chalice of wine in his hand. Julia stepped around Ruark. “Duncan, please . . .”
Ruark stopped her with his hand on her arm. Then gentled his grip. “Go upstairs, Julia.”
She nodded, then, tearing her eyes from Ruark’s, looked past him at Duncan before walking up the stairs. When she was out of sight, Ruark faced his uncle. “If you have something on your mind, tell me now, because you and I have had this argument before.”
“Jamie is on my mind.”
“As he is on mine.”
“As long as we are clear aboot your priorities, lad. You’ve been a mite distracted since ye put that Sassenach wench on the back of Jason’s horse.”
“Her name is Lady Roselyn.”
“I do no’ care if she is the good Queen Mary herself come back from the dead. As long as ye remember her purpose here.”
Ruark held Duncan’s probing gaze. “I do not take my responsibility lightly. Never question my priorities or loyalty to this family again.”
“Then while you’re fookin’ that bonny lass upstairs, do no’ be forgettin’ her father has been none too kind to those who call themselves Kerr.”
For a moment, as Ruark set his hand on the balustrade, he thought he could kill Duncan.
“Tell me, Uncle,” he said with quiet menace.
“Why was Jamie with your crowd, raiding cattle on Hereford’s land in the first place?
A little bit of mischief and larceny could have been had much nearer without forcing a confrontation with a battalion of English dragoons. ”
Duncan wiped a sleeve across his mouth, his eyes momentarily shuttered.
He set the goblet on the breakfront next to the doorway.
“The lad is old enough to learn a Kerr’s ways.
” He walked to the bottom of the stairway.
“ ’Tis my sworn oath to make a man of him, just as it was mine to do the same of you.
I’ll no’ be apologizing to ye or any man. ”
“Know this now, Uncle! Lady Roselyn is under my protection.”
He turned and took two steps up the stairs.
“What has got in your craw?” Duncan carefully asked from behind him. “When ye left here ye were ready to tie the chit to a stake. No man would have argued your right to do so.”
Ruark descended a step. “You were about to take raiders over the border today . . . against my explicit order to wait one week. The last I looked, five days does not make a week. Hereford deserves a place in hell for many crimes, but I do not intend to send the rest of this family with him. And that includes Jamie and the two lads with him.”
Ruark stared down at his uncle from his place on the stairs, a man he had both loved and hated for most of his life.
But Ruark had come to believe of late that it was too simple a thing to throw blame at another for one’s ails.
Though most would claim the skirmishes started with the English, all of them seemed to forget that it was a bout of cattle raiding that got Jamie caught in the first place.
“A new letter of terms will be drawn up for Jamie’s release. You will leave tomorrow to dispatch the terms to Hereford.”
Ruark wasn’t asking, a fact his uncle recognized and fully appreciated.
“I would have gone without your telling me, Ruark. I do not take my responsibility lightly either,” Duncan said.
“I know that boy is there because of me. Do ye think I would no’ trade places with him if I could?
With any of those two lads with him? Do ye no’ think I blame myself every bluidy day? ”
Some of Ruark’s anger dissipated and his mind seemed to momentarily clear. Jamie’s life needed to be the most important thing between them for now.
Then at the sound of merrymaking in the dining hall down the long corridor, Duncan’s mouth tightened, as his eyes revealed a less subtle sentiment. “There’s family and friends in the dining hall willin’ to give their lives for ye, Ruark,” he said. “Do no’ be forgettin’ that.”
Duncan left the entry hall, and watching his uncle go, Ruark swore beneath his breath.
“Duncan means well,” Julia said on the landing above him. “He loves this family, and has practically been a father to Jamie, as he was to you. You of all people know the kind of man your father was.”
Ruark did not intend to discuss Duncan or his father with anyone. What was between him and his uncle would remain that way.
She reached out her hand to his arm as he ascended the stairs and passed, turning him. “You have risked much bringing Hereford’s daughter here . . .”
“Did you think I would do less because the boy is your son, Julia?”
She shook her head. Her wet eyes took in the gallery at the top of the stairs, where nine generations of Roxburghe earls stared down at her from their various places of honor up and down the long antechamber.
His father’s portrait stood at the other end.
With an effort, she finally straightened, her gaze darting to the shadows where Duncan had disappeared.
“He has no’ been the same since your father died. Duncan blamed Hereford from the beginning. Duncan was not taking the Kerrs across the Borders for a bit of cattle lifting when Jamie was captured. He was taking them to burn Kirkland Park to the ground. They ran into dragoons.”
She wrapped her hand around Ruark’s forearm. “Make no mistake, Ruark. Ye may hold the Roxburghe title, but ’tis Duncan’s fealty that makes you laird. Or you would no’ be so.”
Ruark smiled, his eyes softening briefly, for she had meant the warning sincerely. “I know, Julia.” Noise from the dining hall drew her up. “Now go to your chambers,” he said. “Downstairs is no place for a woman right now.”
She nodded. She turned in a swish of silk and expensive French perfume, and he found himself thinking of lilacs and springtime instead.
Turning away to go to his own chambers to wash and change, he sought to unravel emotions that were becoming increasingly complicated in his mind.
Julia had been only partially right when she said that Ruark might hold the Roxburghe title but ’twas Duncan’s fealty to him that made him laird.
Except time and the whims of fortune had changed his life. He was not the man he had once been when she had asked his help to save her from a marriage to his father. And Ruark made it a rule never to play another’s game again.
As his thoughts turned to Rose, ensconced not so far from his own chambers in the east wing, he knew only that he had already decided the fate of Hereford’s beautiful daughter.