Chapter 4 #3
He met her eyes and saw a soft understanding there that he had never found in anyone else. He was glad he hadn't allowed himself to insult Finn in front of her, no matter how much his anger had roared inside at Finn's words.
"He didnae mean tae insult yer sister," Alexandra said gently. "And he doesnae mean tae insult yer brother either. Me father is just very concerned about the whole situation. Ye ken what he went through all those years ago; he just is very protective of our family. Can ye blame him for his fears?"
"I can blame him for his words," Arran replied tiredly.
He returned the training sword to the rack and then, when he turned back, Alexandra had moved closer.
She was close enough to touch, and he knew that if he held out a hand, she would take it.
Instead, though, he clasped his hands behind his back in a loose military position, his raging emotions too much to let himself express anything at all.
"Christopher is me brother. He and Elsie are Kincaids. I willnae allow him tae tar them with such a brush."
"He was wrong to imply such things about Elsie, but ye must admit that this is strange.
" Alexandra sighed, then reached out and, gently, pulled his hand forward and laced her fingers between his.
His heart fluttered at the touch, and the soft press of her skin was a soothing balm. "Why would he just leave?"
Defeat weighed heavily on Arran's shoulders.
At that moment, it felt like Alexandra's hand was the only thing anchoring him to the world.
He held on tight and replied, "I dinnae ken.
It's all I can think about, over and over and over.
I spoke tae Christopher that night and he didnae give any hints of any sort.
I cannae understand it, Alexandra, and it's drivin' me crazy.
I'm angry and I'm depressed and I'm so confused and I dinnae ken what I'm supposed tae do.
I'm the heir, the oldest brother, the leader.
I cannae fall apart like this, but, damn it, I dinnae have any answers!
" He shouted the last words without meaning to, but Alexandra didn't flinch.
"Ye're doin' so well. More than ye realize.
If it was Rory who was missin' and people were sayin' such things about him…
I dinnae ken that I would have managed tae walk away so composed," Alexandra told him.
"Please dinnae torture yerself so much. It willnae help anythin', and I hate tae see ye so torn up. "
Arran's eyes stung again. "I… Alexandra, I…"
He wanted to tell her that he felt like he was falling apart. He wanted to tell her that he didn't know how to survive this and that all he needed was to have his brother back with him. He wanted…
She let go of his hand and, impulsively, put her arms around him. Arran stiffened in surprise, but then something inside him broke. He leaned against her, allowing the hug and the comfort that it brought, and he hugged her back tightly.
The two of them pulled apart, and Alexandra touched his cheek. "I'm sorry. I dinnae ken how else tae help ye," she said. "I wish I could tell ye I ken what will happen next."
"I have half a mind tae ride north and fetch him meself. I'd drag him back if I had tae," Arran said in a voice that tried to come across as joking but was more like a strangled cry.
"If that's what ye decide tae do, love, we'll be right there with ye," another voice said.
Arran looked up and saw that others had followed, Aila at the front of the group. Lachlan stood beside her, and close behind them were Taryn, James, Oliver, and Sorcha. Holding onto Lachlan's hand was Cassie, her dress covered in mud and her hair a mess.
"I thought ye were with the twins, Cass," Arran said.
"I saw ye goin' past. Ye looked upset. What's wrong? Are ye worried about Christopher?" Cassie asked. "Mammy's right, we'll all come and get him back if ye want. Even me."
Arran stared at her, then his gaze traveled between all of them.
They were watching him carefully, and when he looked at Lachlan and Aila, he understood that Cassie's words were more true than even the girl herself knew.
If he said he was going to go and get Christopher back, Lachlan would concede to his wishes.
His whole extended family was ready to put themselves on the line and travel north into danger at so much as a word from Arran.
And that was exactly why he couldn't do it.
"Come here," he said to Cassie, holding out his arms.
She beamed, racing across the short gap to throw herself into a hug. He held her close, enjoying the comfort of having his sister close, and met Alexandra's eyes over the top of Cassie's head. Alexandra smiled at him and gave him a small nod.
Too many people had fought and bled and died to get them to the point that they all had each other. If Arran was to be a leader, then he needed to know when inaction was the best course of action. He glanced down at Cassie, and he knew that there was too much at stake.
"Ye should return south," he said. "All of ye.
Ye can do our best tae help the Murrays and Christopher from our homes.
The Kincaid Clan, McGregor Keep, and Blackwood are all waitin' for ye, and the work there doesnae stop just because there's a disaster here.
I'll stay here alone and do what I can for Christopher, and I'll make sure Elsie's all right—though, of course, her new husband seems to be firmly on our side, which is soothin'.
I'm sure we'll stand together against whatever comes. "
"I want tae stay with ye," Cassie said immediately.
Lachlan, however, paused for a long moment, then gave a slow nod.
"Cassie, come here, pet," he said, and Cassie immediately returned to her father's side, taking his hand again. Lachlan handed her off to Aila, then moved forward to put a hand on Arran's shoulder.
"Arran, I need ye tae ken that I'm proud tae call ye me son. The greatest gift yer birth father ever gave me was tae share the title of bein' yer family," Lachlan said. "Ye're me heir in every way, nae just by name, but by spirit. Ye're the greatest of the Kincaids, the best of all of us."
With a lurch of his heart, Arran met Lachlan's eyes and gave him a solid nod. "I'm doin' me best," he swore.
Lachlan smiled. "Whatever ye choose, ye have me full support. We'll do as ye bid, but remember that nae matter what, we're here for ye. We trust ye with everythin' we have."
Oliver, Sorcha’s husband, nodded. "Watchin' ye grow intae a man has been astoundin'. Ye're me nephew in every sense of the word, and ye represent everythin' I could ever hope a lad in me family could."
With a grin, Taryn’s husband, James, added, "It's been a pleasure tae watch ye grow intae the best of what we all worked so hard tae create, Arran."
Arran swallowed a lump in his throat. Lachlan squeezed his shoulder and went back to join the others.
"We trust ye," Sorcha told him.
"And we love ye," added Taryn.
Aila moved forward and hugged him. "I ken ye'll do everythin' for yer brother and sister and for all of our found family, me love. Be safe, and keep them safe too."
Arran hugged her back, then stepped away. He looked at them all, his family, and glanced at Alexandra one more time. Then he solemnly nodded.
"I will," he swore, and silently added that he would do what it took, no matter the cost.
The weight of the promise sang in the breeze.