Chapter 18 #2
Someone cleared their throat behind them, and Christopher turned to see Arran standing behind them. His older brother smiled and said, "I'm sorry tae interrupt, but I was wonderin' if I could have a private word with ye, Chrissy. Alexandra's finally asleep, and I thought now was the best time."
Christopher wanted to agree, but he also didn't want to leave Morag. He looked at her, and she smiled, exhaustion shining on her face. She squeezed his hand, then let go and moved to the door of her own room.
"I'm right next door," she promised, then disappeared inside.
Arran waited until her door was closed then led Christopher into the room and closed that door behind them too. They both sat on the end of the bed, silent for a moment. Then Arran put an arm around Christopher's shoulders.
"Ye eejit," he said. "I worked so hard tae defend ye that ye'll never be able tae pay me back."
Christopher grinned. "I ken. I'm sorry for scarin' ye."
"Ye did well, but ye're a fool for nae tellin' me of yer plan. Ye must tell me when ye're goin' tae do somethin' mad so that I can help ye." Arran pulled him in for a brotherly hug.
Christopher leaned against him for a moment. "I will. I promise."
The brothers separated, then Arran looked at him seriously.
"Christopher, I ken it must have been a shock tae ye tae learn of yer birth.
And I ken it must be complicated, havin' this Ian out there.
But I need ye tae understand—I am yer brother.
I will always be yer brother. Nae matter how much of an idiot ye are, nae matter what comes. And whatever comes next, I'm here."
"And I'm here for ye," Christopher told him, and he meant it.
Arran nodded. "I ken. Ye, and me, and Elsie, and even wee Cassie. The world is comin' tae get us, but nae matter what happens, nae matter what comes, we'll be standin' side-by-side tae face it together."
The next morning, long before anyone else was awake, Morag stood atop the battlements of Murray Castle and stared out into the distance.
She could see the horse fields nearby where Elsie had once tamed a wild stallion and won Rolland's heart.
Morag had sneered at her for that, and the thought filled her with shame.
She'd been so jealous, so bitter, that it had been easier to attack Elsie than face her father's disgust at her failure.
How could she have cared so much about what a man like that thought of her?
How could she have let herself almost become as much of a monster as he was?
"May we join ye?"
Morag turned to see Elsie and Rolland approaching, hand in hand, both smiling faintly despite the tiredness and sorrow still in their eyes from last night's news.
She silently nodded, her embarrassment growing as she thought of the last time she'd been there, the last time she'd seen them together.
The two of them moved to stand next to her, staring out over the view.
They were silent for some time, then, at last, Morag got the courage to speak.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I ken it's not… I ken it's just a wee word for such a big thing, but I'm sorry for how I behaved when I was last here.
I'm sorry for how I treated ye. Both of ye.
" She looked directly at Elsie. "But ye especially.
I tried tae shame ye, tae use yer family against ye, when I had nae idea what a family even meant. "
"Morag…" Elsie began.
Shaking her head, Morag pressed on. "I was jealous. Nae of Rolland's affection. I only wanted his hand tae please me father. But of ye, Elsie. Of how free ye were. How confident. How strong. How… loved.” She gulped at that shameful truth. “All things I never kent. Never felt."
Rolland smiled. "Elsie's a rare breed. But, Morag…"
"I was cruel. Please, forgive me," Morag pleaded.
Elsie and Rolland looked at each other, then, to Morag's surprise, she pulled her into another hug.
"Me friend, there's nothin' tae forgive," Elsie told her quietly.
"We are all the products of our upbringin'.
Christopher has told me of Ian. What would he or I have been like had we only had our evil father, as ye did?
But still, when it mattered, ye stood against Caindach. Ye brought me brother home."
The hug ended, and Rolland nodded. "Ye made yer choice, and that makes ye strong. Ye're welcome here in the Murray Clan, and the Kincaids will welcome ye just as much. Ye've shown who ye really are at last, nae who he tried to make ye."
"Ye're free, Morag," Elsie told her, taking her hands. "Free to do whatever ye want."
The truth of those words smacked into Morag like thunder. She was free. She had choices, real choices, for the first time in her life. At long, long last she could do what she wanted.
But what did she want?
The door to the inner castle opened, and Christopher joined them. Morag's heart swelled at the sight of him, and she felt herself drawn to him, taking a step forward. Elsie and Rolland exchanged looks, then they made their excuses and left, leaving Morag and Christopher alone.
He hurried to her and swept her into his arms. She held him, burying her head in his shoulder, enjoying the warmth and the safety of his embrace. At last, he pulled back, but he held onto both her hands and looked earnestly into her eyes.
"The war ahead is dangerous. I willnae blame ye if ye want tae flee, lass. It's me fight, nae yers, and I'll make sure ye have a safe place if that's where ye want tae go. Ye can live life on yer own terms."
She blinked in surprise at the question. "Ye couldnae chase me away if ye wanted, silly lad. I dinnae want tae leave."
He laughed softly. "Selfish as it may be, I hoped ye'd say that. But I wanted ye tae ken that I'll support ye in whatever choices ye make and whatever paths ye decide upon. Whatever ye want."
And then she knew the answer. Her heart sang as she met his eyes and she knew that she wanted nothing more than to never look away. "All I want is tae be free," she said. "And tae be by yer side. Forever."
Happiness burst from Christopher in an almost visible light, then his hands were in her hair and he was kissing her, hard and soft, rough and gentle all at once.
The passion of that kiss burned more fiercely than any flame, and Morag returned it with everything she had, holding him tight as she showed him the emotion she never thought she'd feel, the love she never knew could grow within her—all for him.
The kiss ended and Christopher leaned his forehead against hers. "I love ye, me free spirit. Me fae queen. Me heart of fire. I adore ye with everythin' I have, everythin' I am, and everythin' I ever will be. Will ye be me wife?"
"Morag Kincaid. I like the sound of that," she teased.
Then the emotion overflowed and she laughed and cried as she said, "Aye. Aye, I'll marry ye. Me only regret is we're nae married already. Whatever comes next, me love, I cannae wait tae share me freedom with ye. Forever."