Chapter Three
Darrell
Nine years. That’s how long I have been out of jail. That is the part of my life that Paula has no idea about. The past that I have kept hidden from her.
As a teen, I ran with the wrong crowd, the kids parents warned their kids about. I was bad news, and I thought I was untouchable until I was arrested and locked up for four years. A couple of my delinquent friends dared me to break into a liquor store to prove that I could, and I did.
I was convicted of misdemeanor breaking and entering. Of all the things I was doing back then to cause trouble, I never quite thought that the thing that would get me arrested was a dare. It’s almost comical, really. But that dare and the prison stint that followed was enough to turn my delinquent ass around.
Prison was rough, so I had to toughen up, and it made a hard man out of me. When I finally got out, I was no longer that reckless kid that went in. I came out a changed man, with edges so jagged no one dared get too close.
After my release, I kept my head down, did an apprenticeship at a tattoo shop a few towns over, and when I’d saved enough money, I opened my own place here in Valor Springs. It was a lonely existence, but it was what I wanted. Then I saw Paula.
I was grabbing a coffee from the local bakery that doubles as the town’s only coffee shop when I saw her pass by the windows. She was walking down the street in a white dress, her long blond hair falling past her shoulders, and she looked like a fucking angel. She captivated me, and before I knew what I was doing I’d followed her.
I knew it was creepy and weird, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
I shadowed Paula to the local fair. A loud, chaotic scene with a nauseating crowd, but I pushed it all down, eyes focused on only her. Slowly I gravitated toward her until we were both standing outside the same booth. I watched her try over and over again to win a large teddy bear with no success. I could tell she was frustrated and about to give up. Unable to stand the look of disappointment on her face, I stepped in and won her the bear. It was easy, having grown up in Valor Springs playing these same games every year at the fair as a kid. The joy on Paula’s face told me I’d made the right decision, and before I knew it, we were walking side by side through the fair, talking as if we’d known each other our entire lives.
That day, Paula became the most important person in my life. She…softened me. Of course, I wanted her since the day we met, but Paula was so young, only nineteen at the time, and she’d recently suffered a tragic loss.
Still, I vowed to love and protect her with everything inside me. For her, I would cross lines I swore never to cross. Lines that would land me back in jail. She means that much to me, and I will always do everything in my power to preserve what she and I share.
I can’t risk this. Her .
Giving her the tattoo she so craves and putting my hands on her bare skin would only chip at the control I have worked so hard to build. Touching her, even with gloves on, would tip that scale, and there is no telling where it would land. She might fall for me, or she could run away. I can’t handle the latter, and she deserves better than the former.
Paula is everything.
There is no fucking way in hell I could keep my focus long enough to tattoo a spot so close to her tit and not want to caress it, fondle it in my hand, or lean in for a taste. Christ, I bet she tastes amazing too. No, there will be no tattooing if she lets me so close.
God, even now, I want to kiss that pouty mouth of hers, bury my tongue deep in her mouth, and sample her taste. I want to knock everything off the table and lay her down on it before stripping her and kissing every inch of her perfect body.
I told her no to protect what we have, but the thought of her going to another man and letting someone else put their hands on her and permanently mark that perfect skin has me seeing red.
Control yourself!
“Okay,” I tell her reluctantly, reading the displeasure on her face. She’s clearly hurt and frustrated that I am unwilling to give in to her, but I can’t risk it. “I’ll tattoo something simple on your wrist or ankle, like a heart or something. Shouldn’t hurt much.”
“Seriously? If I’m going to permanently ink something on my skin, it’s going to mean something.”
I sigh, folding my arms over my chest and leaning against the wall. “A teddy bear will take longer to ink, and you want it on a spot that’s going to hurt like hell. It’s not an ideal first tattoo, especially for someone who cries when she gets her flu shot.”
Reminding her of her fear of needles was clearly the wrong thing to do because her frustration quickly shifts to anger.
“I already said to forget it” she snaps. “I’ve changed my mind about the whole thing. I don’t want it anymore.” She turns around as if to leave, and I quickly push away from the wall, grabbing her wrist before she can.
“Wait, where are you going?”
“Home,” she says, avoiding my eyes. “Or are you going to say no to that too since you’re set on making my decisions for me today?”
“Paula…”
She whips her head toward me, and I am taken by surprise by the pain in her eyes. “I’ve been thinking about getting this tattoo for a long time, Darrell. It’s special because it represents us , you and me. I finally worked up the courage to ask for it, only for you to turn me down. You’re the only person I want to do it, so if you won’t, then it’s not happening.”
I stare at her, trying to make sense of her words. Her wanting a tattoo that reminds her of us is like a punch to the gut, but something tells me that we are not talking about just the tattoo anymore, and yet, I can’t piece it together to make sense of it all. It’s clear to me that I’m missing something here.
“Paula, what’s this really about?”
“Nothing,” she hisses, wiping angrily at her cheeks. “Let go of me so I can go home.”
She tugs at her hand, trying to free the grip I have on her, but I tighten it, taking a step toward the girl and blocking her escape. There is something clearly bothering her beyond the damn tattoo. “I can’t read your mind, angel. Talk to me.”
Her eyes light up with something I don’t dare hope for before she quickly looks away. “Don’t call me that,” she demands, her voice shaky . “And let go of my hand!”
“Not until I get to the bottom of this.”
“The bottom line is that I asked for a tattoo, and you refused. Why does it surprise you that I would be upset by that?”
Because there is more to it than just the tattoo. I saw something in her eyes moments ago, and I find myself wanting to test the waters to see if I am correct.
My eyes drop to her pouty mouth, and before I can stop myself, I reach up and press my thumb over her lower lip, gently tugging it down. I wait for her to pull away in confusion, anger, or shock, but she doesn’t. Quite the opposite. Her tongue sneaks out and tentatively grazes my thumb, her beautiful moss-green eyes set on mine as she does so. “This is really important to you, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” she whimpers, her eyes growing heavy.
Stop, Darrell. This is a dangerous game! And yet, I can’t. This is a new side of Paula I am seeing, and it fascinates me. This needy side of her that begs for something she has no idea could wreck her.
I could wreck her.
“Tattoos hurt, angel. Most people regret them eventually. And you already hate needles.” My eyes drop back down to that pouty mouth, and I swallow back the urge to lean down and kiss her. “Why put yourself through that for something you might regret?”
Now I’m the one talking in double entendres. It’s not just the tattoo I’m afraid she’ll regret. If we cross the line we are dancing on, I’m terrified Paula will come to regret me too.
“I won’t regret it,” she breathes, her eyes growing hopeful and needy.
Her breathing hitches when I lean down, bringing my mouth closer to hers. So close her breath hits my lips, and it’s making my head spin out of control. “No one gets a tattoo thinking that at some point they’ll hate it.”
“B-but what if I don’t regret the tattoo? What if I fall in love with the tattoo and decide I want it to stay on me forever?” Paula leans closer to me, no longer eager to escape the room. The move has her tits pushing against my chest. “I’ve wanted this for ages, Darrell. But it has to be you. Please .”
Hearing her beg so needily frays my control. Fuck! There is no going back after this.
With a feral snarl, I slam my mouth down on hers, and she practically melts against me. My heart thumps in my chest as I trace my tongue over the seam of her mouth, urging her to open for me. She makes a deep mewling noise at the back of her throat before finally letting me in.
It’s meant to be a small, chaste kiss to sate my curiosity and curb my obsession, after which we’ll both laugh it off, but the second I feel the press of her velvet smooth lips on mine and the innocence of her kiss, I know there is no going back.
Something wild—perhaps a beast that has always been inside of me—breaks free, and then I am devouring her mouth. I let go of her wrist to bury my hand in her hair, fisting a handful and slanting her head to deepen the kiss. Fuck. She tastes and feels so much better than I could have ever imagined, and I realize just as fast that I have made a mistake.
I’ve just let myself cross a line I swore I never would.
This should be enough. I shouldn’t want more than this, but now that I’ve tasted her, I can’t stop. God, I can’t pull away from her mouth. I’m addicted to everything about this woman. From her pleased little sighs when our tongues stroke together and the taste of her mouth to the way she feels pressed up against me. I can’t get enough. I fear I’ll never get enough.
I’m rock hard, my cock pushing painfully against my zipper and my balls tight and aching with the need for release.
I have never felt this way about any woman before. Sex has always been about release and seeking pleasure, but in this moment, I find it hard to breathe. My heart is pounding in my ears and my body is vibrating with the need to possess this girl. Claim her. Fuck her so deep and hard, mark her with my scent until it’s permanent on her skin. More permanent than a goddamned tattoo.
“Stop me, baby,” I rasp heavily, breaking the kiss to trail my mouth along her jaw. Her head falls back, exposing her long beautiful neck. “Push me away and leave.” I lean in, greedily licking at her throat, soaking in her sweet floral scent. A mix of jasmine and peach.
She drops her hands to my chest and fists my shirt. “I don’t want you to stop.”
I drop my hand from her hair and coast it down her body, palming her tits over her shirt, and she moans, her back arching as she leans into my touch. Fuck, I’ve wanted to touch her for too fucking long to be satisfied by feeling her over her clothes. I need her naked.
I grab each side of her shirt and tear it open, sending buttons flying all over, but my focus is on her pale tits. My throat goes dry when I see her mesh bra, one that exposes the rosy pink of her nipples.
Fucking hell, her tits are ripe and juicy, filling out the bra in a way that makes my hands ache with the urge to touch them and mouth water with the desperate need to taste those succulent nipples.
“Goddamnit, baby, you’re perfect,” I choke out, flattening her to the wall before leaning down to lick her through the mesh of her bra, wrapping my mouth around a tight bead and sucking feverishly. Paula cries out when I roll a pebbled bud with my tongue before moving to the other. “I shouldn’t be doing this,” I say as my hands drop to her shorts to pop open the button, then tug down the zipper so hard it nearly breaks. My head is spinning, and I am slowly losing the strength to pull away.
I want her.
I have wanted her for so fucking long, but I managed to keep my hands off. Christ, I knew this would happen if I touched her.
“Take them off,” she pants, wiggling her hips as I grip the waistband of her shorts, fighting with myself for some shred of control.
It’s not too late to stop. Maybe we can salvage our friendship if I put an end to this now. Before I bury my face between her thighs and tongue in her soft feminine folds. I should stop before I taste her arousal and bring her to heights that will ruin her for any other man.
Mine!
With a barely contained growl, I yank down her shorts right along with her underwear, and she eagerly steps out of them. It seems I am the only one desperate for this, and when I look up into her eyes, something inside me shifts.
Touching this girl and bringing her pleasure could never be a bad idea. Not when it’s what I have wanted since the moment I met her. I stand back up and drop my forehead on hers. “You are such a fucking temptation, baby.” A shiver courses through her, and that beautiful mouth parts in a whimper. “You have no idea the things I want to do to you. If you did, you wouldn’t let me touch you.”
“I want everything.”
Not tonight, not here. “Needy little angel. Stay still and let me take care of you,” I rasp, brushing my mouth over hers but leaning away when she pushes for more. She whines in frustration, her voice breaking into a whimper when I move down her body, kissing her neck and soaking up her scent.
She’s soft all over. Every trembling inch of her is so fucking perfect, and I lose myself in her. I kiss each of her tits before dropping to my knees to kiss the rest of her. I nudge her thighs open, and she parts them for me, albeit shyly. I lift her left knee to my shoulder, which only exposes more of her pink heaven. “Darrell…”
“I know,” I growl, leaning in to kiss her inner thighs, and I catch a whiff of the soft, peachy scent of her pussy. My head spins as I nuzzle her sex, breathing in her intoxicating scent and getting drunk on it. God, I’ve wanted this forever, jerked off while picturing this very moment, but none of it comes close to reality. “Goddamn, Paula, you smell amazing. I bet your pussy tastes just as addictive.”
A shudder rocks her body, and a cry rings in my ears when I dip my tongue between her folds and drag it over the valley of her sex. My cock pulses hard, and I almost shoot in my pants as her flavors flood my mouth. I lose whatever little control I am clinging to as I clutch her hips and worship her sex, bathing it in long licks until her tummy is shuddering and the room is filled with her cries.
“Darrell, oh God!” she sobs, her hips rolling to ride my tongue, chasing that sweet release that only I can offer her. That only I will ever offer her. I reach up and knead her tits over her bra, pinching her nipples between my fingers as I lap at her sex. Her breathing accelerates when I work her clit with my stiff tongue, feeling her sex grow slicker with her arousal. “F-feels so good!” She tangles her hands into my short hair and tugs hard, rocking her hips over my eager mouth. “Darrell…I… Oh God!”
“Come for me, angel,” I order before wrapping my mouth around her swollen bud and tugging hard, suckling on her clit and flicking it with my tongue until she’s a whimpering mess.
“Darrell!” she screams, her body shuddering over mine. Her heels dig into my back and her thighs flex around my head as she orgasms, her sex trembling against my lips. I replace my mouth with my thumb, working her clit in rough circles as I watch her come apart beautifully and, it’s a sight to behold. One that I want to see—feel—again and again and again.
With a rough growl, I bury my face back between her thighs, lapping at her drenched sex like a starved man, holding her still when she starts thrashing about. “Again!” I growl against her sex, losing myself once more in the taste and scent that is unique to her.
Mine!
Paula Tate belongs to me. Every inch of this gorgeous girl is mine!
“It’s too much!” she pants, but I am like a man possessed. A beast set on seeking her pleasure like it’s the one thing that will sustain me. Another tremble rocks her body, and her breathing accelerates before she’s climaxing once more, sobbing and whimpering my name.
She goes limp, her back falling against the wall when I lower her leg from my shoulder before pushing up to my feet. I can’t get my dick out fast enough, tugging hard at my zipper, I nearly break the damn thing. “Fuck!” I growl in frustration as I pull my cock from its tight confines. “Goddamnit, angel, I need to be inside you so bad,” I say, dropping my face to her neck and inhaling her intoxicating scent as I jerk my cock feverishly.
“Do it,” Paula whispers, and I feel her lips brush the side of my neck. It’s a simple brush of lips that sends heat licking up my body. “I want to feel you inside me. Do it, Darrell.”
It’s tempting. So tempting to fuck her raw against the damn wall and fill her with my seed, but Christ, she deserves better for her first time. Taking her rough and hard on some wall is not how I want her to remember our first time together.
“Fuck!” I grunt, rubbing my cock faster, fondling her tits with my free hand, and bringing myself to the edge. It only takes three more pulls before I am spraying my cum all over her stomach and sex with a roar. My muscles tense and release rapidly as I mark this beautiful angel with the white of my seed. I feel Paula’s soft breaths brush my neck as my climax wanes and the stars in my eyes fade.
A sudden panic quickly sets in the second the haze in my head clears, and I push back to find Paula staring up at me, her eyes dazed.
Oh God, what I have done?
“That was amazing,” Paula says with a smile, reaching up to touch my cheek, but I push back from her, my pulse thumping wildly. Christ, I haven’t felt this helpless since that day in court when I heard my sentencing.
But I feel helpless now.
Everything between us has changed, and it feels out of my control. Christ, I never should have touched her. We were doing fine as friends. Now it’s going to hurt so much worse when she eventually decides I’m not what she wants and I’m left alone once again.
“Fuck!” I growl, running a hand through my short hair and turning away, not wanting her to see me spiral.
“Darrell,” Paula’s voice is soft and hesitant, and I sense her approach me. “I… Is everything okay?”
“A minute,” I snap, shifting away when she reaches out to touch me. “I need a fucking minute, Paula. Okay?”
She quickly pulls her hand away, and I don’t dare turn around. I can’t bear to look at her and see what she’s feeling. A voice in my head screams at me to take Paula in my arms and make this right. I know how innocent she is and how vulnerable she must be feeling, but I can’t pull myself far enough out of my own panic to give her what she needs. What can I say to reassure her when I don’t even understand what is happening to me right now?
There is shuffling behind me as I hear her quickly clean up and get dressed. Christ, I am such a fucking asshole. Paula is my best friend before anything else, and her feelings matter more than mine, but at the moment, I have nothing to give her.
I have no fucking idea what to say to her.
“Do…um, do you regret it?”
Her voice is strained, and finally I turn around to face her. She’s already dressed—hugging the front of her shirt closed since I tore off all her buttons—and there is a sad scared look on her face, and vulnerability fills those beautiful eyes that I adore. I open my mouth to assure her that I don’t regret a moment of what happened between us, but nothing comes out.
I don’t regret it. I’ll never regret a moment I share with this girl, but she’s introduced a new emotion in me that I haven’t experienced in a while. Fear. Of losing her. Of what will happen now that we’ve crossed this line.
I come from a fucked-up world where relationships don’t work. Marriage doesn’t matter and love hurts. I could rely on our friendship. I could depend on it to last.
A barrage of emotions must cross my face, and Paula seems to draw her answers from that because her expression crumbles. She presses her teeth into her trembling lower lip and spins away from me. Before I can take a step forward and attempt to explain myself, she’s gone.
I watch helplessly as the door swings closed behind her.