Joy
I toss and turn that afternoon, trying to get some sleep. I didn’t get any last night.
Nikolai escorted me to my room. I was wide awake the rest of the night trying to slow down my heartrate. Being that close to Valerian honestly sent me up in flames.
I take a look around the room since I haven’t had the chance to do that yet. I get my own. Thank God. The last thing I need on top of this is to be stuck in the same bed as Valerian. Even though my body wouldn’t be opposed.
I must be staying in one of the spare bedrooms. Afternoon light streams in through the windows, turning everything golden. A chandelier hangs from the ceiling, twinkling when it hits the light.
Everything in here is ridiculous, a showcase of how much money Valerian has.
Of course, none of it’s legitimate. He earns millions from the real estate business. But he built it all from blood money.
I sit up in bed, something catching my attention. A fireplace. That isn’t necessary. Nothing in here is. I suppose that’s the point Valerian’s trying to make. Nothing will ever be too much for him. That goes for furniture in his house and for ruining other peoples’ lives.
Unable to sleep, I tear away the covers and walk barefoot over to the balcony. Palm trees sway in the breeze. It’s a pleasant afternoon. Shame I can’t go out and experience it for myself at the beach. The ocean is always the perfect temperature at this time.
I cross my arms over the balcony edge, the wind lifting the ends of my hair. I can still smell the shampoo—coconut and apple.
While showering in the bathroom earlier, I came across something not so nice. Coco Chanel. The perfume Father often came home smelling like.
I can still smell the notes lingering in my nose. Horrible scent. Even more horrible man.
I really have to let Mom know where I am. She’ll be getting worried. We’re each other's ride or dies. The only family we have left is each other.
Mom has turned a new corner after Dad. I dragged her to a yoga class, and it changed her life. She’s much better.
And that makes me worried, because I don’t want her going backwards, curling back up into that little ball on the couch, letting her emotions take over her life again.
I slide shut the door, blocking out the outside world, the sounds of trees rusting in the wind, the birds. All of it. It’s nice to hear nature, more soothing than hearing traffic when you’re trying to sleep.
But I can’t deal with the outside world right now. Facing reality feels too overwhelming. I’m exhausted from going down the rabbit hole of what all this means. Missed article deadlines. Mom being worried. It’s all making my head hurt.
I shut my eyes, tuning out all of the noise.
And when I do, I feel myself getting aroused.
God, I want to be punished for not turning up here yesterday when Valerian asked me to. I want him to take off my clothes. The thought of him seeing me naked, scanning my body head to toe, makes me shiver.
He’s so fucking powerful. And for some, twisted reason, I like the idea of me being weak around him.
Which makes no sense. My whole life, I grew up weak, answering to a man who didn’t even care. It sucked.
But with Valerian, something about that feels different. Exciting.
I slip a hand under the nightgown I’m wearing. I’m not wearing any panties so it’s easy to touch myself.
I stroke my pussy. It’s warm and wet. I feel my body leak down the sides of my thighs, onto the bedsheets. Especially when I insert a finger into myself.
God, I really am wet.
But I was wet from the moment I entered this place.
Valerian’s accomplice was holding me at gunpoint, forcing me in. I was petrified. I thought he was gonna shoot. And yet I could feel myself getting turned on as I entered Valerian’s house.
Thankfully, in the red bikini, I was already wet. He wouldn’t have known any different.
But I saw the way Valerian’s eyes skimmed over my breasts. Fuck. I want to feel electricity shoot down my spine like that again. It was thrilling.
The bikini didn’t cover much. Most of my ass was on show when I entered his house. I was tempted to spin around, bend over. Let him see me.
But he doesn’t deserve to see me naked after taking away my freedom.
That being said, I can still imagine him seeing me.
I can imagine him taking off my clothes, his rough fingers working the strings of my bikini.
I return my fingers to my pussy, thinking about last night when he pinned me to the stone wall outside in the courtyard.
I imagine I’m wearing my red bikini instead. He loosens the straps. I’m standing naked in front of him, baring all, and his haunting blue eyes are travelling all over my body.
My nipples harden when he sees my breasts.
And then he gets to my pussy…
My clit starts tingling. I shut my eyes, letting my imagination run wild, pretending my fingers are his.
He locks me back into the handcuffs. Thrusts me into the stone cloister. I imagine the metal clicking as he secures me to one of the stone girders outside on the courtyard. He doesn’t want me to escape.
He lowers himself between my legs. Spreads me wide. And he starts playing with my pussy, his rough fingers working my clit. Rubbing. Flicking. I picture him bringing me right to the edge.
He uses his tongue to make me come. It’s rough, like sandpaper. But it feels so fucking good.
I rub my clit, the image growing stronger. A whimper leaves my mouth as the tension builds inside of me. I’m about to explode.
I want him to be as rough as possible.
And I want him to slide right into me and stretch my pussy out.
Do what his son couldn’t do and make me—
A knock at the door has me sitting bolt upright in bed.
A moan escapes my lips, the entire world coming to a standstill.
I was so fucking close to—
Knock! Knock! Knock!
“I know you can hear me, Joy.” That dark, raspy voice on the other side of the door is enough to finish me.
I gasp, slotting a finger back inside myself as Valerian continues speaking.
“Dinner’s ready.”
“I’m good,” I strain.
“You haven’t eaten all day.”
I have one finger inside of myself and another on my clit.
“I told you I’m good,” I strain.
That’s when the doorknob starts turning. “Joy—”
“I’m coming,” I shout. “I’ll be down in a minute. Promise.”
“Make sure you are.”
I release the breath I didn’t know I was holding onto, taking the finger out of my pussy. Fuck. I’m gonna have to wait.
But it’s not so bad.
I’m sure I’ll come back into my room tonight with more inspiration.