CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SILVANUS
The Raven Forest,
Shadow Realm
The forest floor stretches infinitely beneath my bare feet. I feel the trees shake the earth as their spiraling roots reach out to greet me. It is here—in this forest, outside the edges of an inhospitable city—that I have been called. I am father to these forgotten trees, deformed and rotting, that rise from the ground despite never knowing sun. But, as there is light, so too must there be darkness. And I welcome the darkness as gently as I welcome the light.
Shielded behind the thick base of a tree, I watch them: five beings. Three are creatures of the light, two of darkness. Those of the light grow weaker as the seconds turn to minutes and the minutes turn to hours. And one, the female, is closer to death than any of them realize. She is the reason I have come.
I grab hold of the bark and centipedes, thick and black, crawl out to greet me. And with them, giant Drehegs , many-legged insects with long antennae that twitch in response to me. The wind whistles my name as it blows through the skeletal trees. Creatures of this dark realm have already noticed my arrival and they shyly venture forth. I hold out my hands and welcome them, encouraging them, speaking the language of the wind.
A serpentine Hireb , blue and rubbery, crawls along the forest floor with its twelve legs before clambering up the bark of a tree just beside me. Its lightning breath incinerates its prey before it constricts them with its coils and eats them alive. But it does not threaten me and neither do I threaten it, for I am as much a part of the Hireb as it is a part of me.
Fashes , awakened plants gifted with the power of intelligence and mobility, cautiously poke their heads out from around the stationary trees. Conifer-like needles grow across their bodies in clumps of dagger-like points—needles which can puncture armor. But the Fashes’ main defense is the poisonous pollen they release when threatened. That pollen will dissolve the flesh of a creature within seconds.
The dwellers of the shadow forest assemble in and around me. As I walk forward, they part ways, allowing me passage. I stroke the head of an Uluucb as I glide by and the crustacean-like creature purrs up at me, brandishing its massive claws. Reaching down, I run my fingers along the jagged, golden shell of the creature’s horned back. Though the night creatures welcome me back to their forest openly and joyously, I explain I cannot tarry. I do not mean to offend but I am needed, all the same.
I am here for the female.
When I reach the edge of the fortified clearing, I realize I cannot proceed forward. Wards protect the perimeter of the camp and while I could cross them easily, I do not want to draw attention to myself. Thus, the female will have to come to me.
She sleeps beneath a dark tree, her white and tangled hair fanned out beside her. Her skin glows weakly with the power of light, but that glow fades even as I watch. There is an innocence about her that does not characterize the others. She is not well, however, and her power wanes with each breath.
I watch as the two shadow figures take leave of their comrades and disappear into the forest. Meanwhile, the male of light retires to the far corner of the encampment and loses himself to his own mind.
Briefly, I stop the flow of time for all creatures of the forest, save myself and the female. The sprite beside her is halted mid-speech and stands with an open mouth. I smile, finding the image humorous.
According to my intentions, the sprite will appear invisible to the female, as will the male of light. She will imagine she has been left alone.
I inch toward the fire, still burning, and sniff the air. The forest is silent, but this silence is misleading—I could summon a forestry cacophony, if I so chose. I could make the ground blossom with insects, the sky above become thick with bats, the unending night darken with terror. Such is the sway I have over the natural world.
***
EILISH
I awake at the sound of a loud crack, as though something heavy has stepped on a dry twig. I have the uneasy sense I’m being watched. When I glance around, though, I find I’m alone by the fire, now reduced to simmering coals. The night is even colder than I remember and the thin sheet around me does little to quell the icy tongue that licks at its edges.
Fear takes hold of me as I strain to listen for more sounds, pulling myself to sit upright. With the waning light of the fire, it’s impossible to see anything beyond the redness of the coals and my own body. A chill creeps over me that doesn’t have anything to do with the cold night.
Where is everyone? And why am I alone? I suddenly worry for them, for Dragan, mostly.
Crack.
Another twig breaks; I strain my ears even harder. My eyes are useless in the dark, thus I attempt to rely on my other senses. Then it occurs to me that if there is something out there, hunting me, I’m basically useless to defend myself. My body is too weak to fight. My nakedness feels even more uncomfortable now. And my head is nearly splitting in two with the pain of my last seventy-two hours.
I want to call out to Dragan, to find out if he’s nearby, but on the slim chance whatever’s out there doesn’t see me, I have no desire to alert it to my presence. ‘Course, even if I wanted to call for help, fear is currently acting like a gag in my mouth.
I hear another sound… breathing?
My heart pounds and sweat has broken out across my forehead and the small of my back.
You need more light, Eilish, I tell myself. Light repels creatures of shadow.
Leaning over the fire as quietly as I can, I blow gently into the coals. The red-orange glow intensifies briefly, but as soon as I release my breath, the coals grow tired once again. I glance to my right, where I notice a pile of kindling left by Thoradin. It’s maybe five feet away. Swallowing hard, I reach for the twigs and what looks like dried and black lichen. I grab a handful and throw it on the coals and a few seconds later, the fire ignites again, roaring back to life. My surroundings become marginally visible.
I look up and immediately frown at the sight before me. A small red fox stares at me from just beyond the perimeter of our camp.
You’re seeing things, Eilish, I tell myself.
I close my eyes, then open them again.
The fox is still there.
I shake my head, disbelieving what my eyes report as the truth. How is it possible that a fox could survive in this shadow forest, a forest inhabited by abominations and monsters?
I don’t have an answer for myself.
My mind races, imagining the hideous monsters that would make quick work of this beautiful creature. Even though it takes all of my energy, I push myself closer to the animal.
“Hello, little guy,” I whisper as I approach. Cautiously, I hold out my hand. “Come on, I won’t hurt you.”
But then I remember the Glyph of Warding that protects our camp. The red fox won’t be able to enter. If I want to protect him, I’m going to have to go after him. I don’t even know if I possess the strength to stand, but I attempt it all the same. I fail.
Instead, I roll over onto my hands and knees, then close my eyes against the dizziness that plagues me. After a few deep breaths, I open my eyes again, noticing the fox hasn’t changed position.
He continues to watch me with intelligent eyes. I begin to crawl toward him until I reach the perimeter of our camp. Once I travel beyond the perimeter of the Glyph of Warding , I’ll no longer be protected. But the fox is standing so close, I imagine I might be able to reach over and simply lift him up and into our protective enclosure.
He’s a wild animal, Eilish, I think. He’s not going to just let you pick him up.
But I’m an angel, which means I have the ability to communicate with beasts, I remind myself. I’m not sure how I know this, but I know it all the same. I should be able to make him understand he needs me. I figure it’s worth a shot.
The fox looks at me with suspicion.
“I won’t hurt you,” I explain, holding the creature’s gaze as I smile and try to make him understand he’s in danger and he needs my help. I reach for him, but he startles and takes a few steps back. A howl sounds in the darkness and my heart starts to thunder. This fox isn’t going to last much longer; he’s a walking target.
“Come on,” I plead, but the fox makes no attempt to come closer. “Please.”
He just looks at me. It’s then that I realize if I want to protect the little guy, I’m going to have to go get him.
I realize it’s madness but I take a deep breath and reach out, over the Glyph , so half of me is still within the perimeter and the other half is beyond it. The fox stands his ground—ground which happens to be just beyond my reach.
I crawl forward until I’m inches past the line of the Glyph , still on my hands and knees. I’m no longer protected, and fear is starting to surge inside me. I feel myself growing more and more weary as the seconds tick by.
“Please come to me,” I call to the fox, holding out my hand. “I can’t wait much longer.” I need to get back to the safety of my camp.
The animal takes another step back and as soon as he does, a wind whips up around him. I close my eyes against the dead leaves and dust. When I open them, the fox is nowhere to be seen. Instead, I find myself at eye level with a pair of men’s knees.
I swallow hard and time seems to stand still as I glance upward, following the lines of the man’s naked body until I’m face-to-face with… a stranger.
Run, Eilish! The woman’s voice suddenly awakens inside my head, screeching at me. Get behind the wards, now!
My heart starts pounding but just as I turn to try to scurry back, the man bends over and wraps his arms around my waist, preventing me from escaping. He lifts me and then pulls me into him and, as much as I want to, I can’t fight him. I’m so exhausted. All I can do is lay there limply, my arms dangling at my sides as my back rubs up against the coarse hair on his chest. It’s then that I realize the sheet covering my nudity has fallen down, and now lies strewn across the ground.
I close my eyes as stars dance behind my eyelids.
I can only hope my death will be a quick one.
I will not harm you, this man’s voice sounds in my head. At the same time, he sets me down on my feet. As soon as he does, my knees buckle and he catches me, one arm beneath my back and the other beneath my legs. He lifts me again, and I glance up and find him staring down at me intently.
I color as I realize I’m completely naked; my breasts are basically in his face.
Do not feel shame in your natural state, he says, but his mouth never moves.
How can I hear your voice when you don’t speak? I think back.
We share a telepathic connection.
Who are you? I realize with interest that we’ve never taken our eyes off one another. His are hunter green but as I watch, they morph into a deep brown, only to become ocean blue before darkening until they’re as black as the forest that surrouds us. I don’t understand.
I am Silvanus, he responds. He’s extremely tall and broad-shouldered, with a barrel chest covered in wiry hair that almost resembles fur. I can feel the muscles of his body shifting beneath me as he walks. His heavy blond beard obscures his chin and his golden hair is so long, it looks like a lion’s mane flowing behind him. In fact, he reminds me of a lion with his large, round eyes, bronze skin, and his broad yet high cheekbones. He’s handsome, but in an uncivilized way.
You are interfering where you are not invited! The woman’s voice within my head suddenly screams through me. My eyes widen as I realize she can hear him and, at the cold expression of recognition I can see on his face, he can hear her, as well.
She is my charge! The woman’s voice continues raging. I am protecting her! She is not your business!
Silence, Morrigan! He rails and her voice suddenly chokes, fading away until I can’t feel her in my head any longer. My heart begins to pound as if it’s trying to tear right through my chest and I’m even dizzier than I was before.
How do you know her name? I ask. And who is she?
It is a long and complicated story. One you are not ready to understand yet, he responds and breaks our gaze to face forward. I don’t know where he’s taking me, but his strides are long and purposeful.
Are you going to kill me?
He chuckles and the sound is warm. Quite the opposite. I am here to restore your health, young female.
He stops walking and sets me down on a bank of wet earth. Then, he looks down at me, as if to appraise my condition. He’s as naked as I am but where I try to cover my nudity, he brandishes his. Clearly, he’s not in the least bit timid.
Do not hide yourself from me, he says, facing me with a stern expression. You deny your true self.
I don’t understand what you mean, I think in response, attempting to keep my eyes fixed on his. It’s difficult, given the fact that his penis is hanging directly in front of my face. My true self?
Are you not aware of what you are, female?
I’m an angel, I answer quickly.
He chuckles and I can hear the sound emptying from his mouth. It’s warm and it fills me with balmy feelings. I can’t explain why. There’s no change to his physical expression, though; his face is just as hard as it was seconds ago.
There is angel within you, yes. But you possess another side.
Another side?
A side you have yet to know, he says. A side that has been repressed.
What am I? I ask, suddenly afraid for his response.
You are sick, he answers. And I am meant to heal you.
Then his eyes follow the lines of my cheeks, down to my neck. Freely, he gazes at my breasts before dropping his eyes lower still. Suddenly, I understand how he means to heal me, and excitement that makes little sense blossoms deep inside me.
I swallow. Hard. And my eyes seek out the appendage between his legs. I feel embarrassment course through me as I look at him, but I can’t pull my eyes away. His erection is long and hard and it’s wide enough that all I can think about is the feeling of my lips stretching to accommodate it.
I don’t understand why I’m thinking this way. I don’t know this man and he appears to be more enemy than friend—if I’m to trust the woman’s voice in my head, anyway. And, thus far, she’s done nothing but advise and protect me.
I am not your enemy, the man interjects, and when I look up at him, his eyes are piercing.
You can read my mind? I ask.
Yes.
I don’t say anything more but I watch his eyes as they shift from mine and travel once again along the lines of my face, resting briefly on my breasts and then continuing lower, until he unabashedly stares at the junction of my thighs.
Beneath the intense exhaustion that’s been my constant companion, I feel something. Exhilaration, maybe. Something that thrills over the fact that his eyes are centered on the soft flesh between my legs. I suddenly begin to feel strength returning, a power that births itself from within me that I don’t remember ever experiencing before.
Yes, he says without speaking. Become one with that power for it is yours, female.
I close my eyes and allow the feelings of strength and exhilaration to spread. Tendrils of warmth branch out from deep inside me, carrying with them an excitement that reaches to every corner of my body.
Reveal yourself to me, female, he says and, as if his words are a command to my body, I spread my legs. He looks at my eyes then. Allow your true self to come forward.
I don’t understand. But I’m not given an opportunity to ponder the question for long because he drops to his knees and is suddenly between my legs. His erection is perched at my opening.
He teases me with the head of his penis, pushing in slightly only to pull out again. I can feel myself growing wetter and I close my eyes as I tilt my head back, relishing the feel of his hard length as it traces my opening.
Finally, I say to myself. I’ve needed this for so long.
Yes, he chuckles. Allow yourself freedom. Be what you are.
I’m not sure what I’m meant to be, other than what I am, but I open my eyes and watch him as he pushes forward. His erection enters me and my breath catches. He feels even better than I imagined. I arch up and moan, gripping his back and digging my nails into his skin. He presses himself deeper into me, and my body envelops him with an urgency that shocks me.
He moans and begins to drive himself into me fully as I wrap my legs around him. I want him even deeper. I grind my hips down, needing all of him inside me.
He stares at me. And never do I stop to wonder what I’m doing. Why I’m allowing a stranger inside me. Because I realize why. I need this. I’ve needed it, because it’s the only thing that will heal me. It’s why I’ve had such sexual reactions to Dragan and Cambion.
More, I beg him.
He drives into me even harder, lifting me up and plunging himself into me so forcefully, I can barely breathe.
“Your seed,” I whisper in his ear. “Give me your seed.”
My words surprise me. It’s as though my body is speaking for me, demanding what it wants and needs. He pulls out and plunges back in again and I begin to shake and convulse. At the same time, he thrusts as hard as he can and I feel him explode within me, matching the intensity of my orgasm with one of his own.
And then I feel something burst from my back. I glance to the side to see huge wings billowing out of me. But they aren’t white and feathery at all.
They’re rubbery and as black as night.