Chapter 12
TWELVE
Jack
“Holy cow!” Miles yelled.
He was off the porch before I came to a complete stop, the screen door slamming in his wake.
I rolled down the window. “Not bad, right?”
I put the brand-new, extended cab pickup in Park and hopped out, the new-car smell following me, reminding me of a world that no longer existed.
The cab and back were overflowing, and it wasn’t even a fraction of what I found.
Miles walked around taking in the cases of canned goods, formula, diapers ranging from newborn to toddler.
A flat box with a crib I couldn’t wait to put together.
A new tool set and portable battery. Two small rifles and several boxes of .
22 ammo. And clothes in every size I could find.
“Where did you get all this?” Miles said, walking around the truck, his face bright. “We scavenged almost everywhere.”
“Apparently not,” I said, a smile on my face. “There’s a distribution center about thirty miles out. Looks like a couple of trucks got tangled up in traffic, so all this stuff was just sitting there.”
“And the truck?”
“Drove it right off the lot. And saw an obnoxious yellow one that has your name on it.”
The screen door slammed before Miles could respond, and I heard thudding feet and turned to see Lourdes running off the porch, Asia a step behind her.
She hadn’t taken the time to dress, and was wearing the too-tight T-shirt she slept in, braless, eyes wide with adrenaline, sockless feet stuffed into her boots. Not even the end of the world would allow Asia to walk outside barefoot.
“What happened?” she asked.
“Look at all this stuff Jack found!” Miles said.
“What?” Asia asked, blinking and wiping at her face.
“Yeah. I got all this stuff. A new truck too.” I grinned like a fucking fool.
“What is all this?” Lourdes asked.
“I found an eighteen-wheeler, but didn’t want to risk the attention of bringing it back, so I improvised. We’ll go out later and get the rest of the stuff,” I said, “but I got the most important things first.”
Lourdes stepped over to the truck. “And this? Formula, diapers, a crib?”
“For the baby,” I responded, looking at Asia.
Her eyes widened, and I watched her sink into herself.
“This crib is beautiful,” Lourdes said, her voice deliberately light, “at least the picture on the box is.” She gestured towards Miles. “Start unloading.”
Miles had already beat her to the punch. He’d grabbed the hand truck and started to unload cab. “Caitlin’s gonna have a lot of inventory to manage,” the kid said excitedly.
Asia looked at me, looked at Lourdes, who gave her a gentle smile, and then turned and marched back into the house.
“Go,” Lourdes said, looking at me now.
I barely spared her a glance before I followed. I found Asia pacing in her bedroom.
She stopped when I entered and closed the door behind me, her eyes aflame with fury.
“What the fuck was that?” she said, her voice shockingly calm, especially with the fire in her eyes.
“Can’t keep it a secret for much longer,” I said with a shrug.
“Oh, and it’s for you to decide when that changes?” she said.
“I found some stuff. Brought it back. There’s no reason to try to pretend—this is happening,” I said.
She gawked at me, and I pushed against the door and took a few steps across the room, stopping in front of her.
“Do you think he’ll like this?”
I lifted the tiny, plush gray elephant I held and handed it to her.
She took it from my hands, but still didn’t look at me. Her gaze was focused on the elephant, which she held like it was the most fragile glass. Like it was precious. The way I knew she’d hold our baby.
She pulled one of the soft, floppy ears and stroked a finger over the elephant’s baby-blue T-shirt, her eyes soft and gentle.
“Yeah. He will,” she said, her voice soft, wistful.
And she looked up at me, really staring into my eyes.
I braced myself, waiting, wanting.
But I was still surprised when she launched the elephant at me.
It bounced off my chest and thudded to the floor soundlessly.
I paid no attention and kept my eyes on her as she glared at me, the fury blazing.
I stood a little taller, stepped closer, waiting, wanting the explosion that would come next.
She stared at me, the anguish, the rage on her face making my skin burn with the need to soothe her, the need to kick my own ass for hurting her.
And then…
It was gone.
She took a deep breath, and I watched as the emotion left her body, physically seeing her rein herself in. She clenched her teeth but then relaxed. Loosened the fists she balled her hands into. Pushed her shoulders back.
She took another deep breath, and when she looked at me, there was no emotion in her eyes at all.
“Thanks, Jack. I’m sure there’s lots of useful things. We should get that truck unloaded. Is there more where you found it? If so, we can set up a couple of groups to go get it. And looks like that new one you brought might take a lot of gas, but I’m sure we’ll find a way to—”
Fuck that.
Her voice cut off with a soft umph as I twirled her around and pulled her against my chest.
She went rigid. Didn’t pull away. Didn’t push. Just stood there, stiff.
“Let me go, please.”
“No.”
Her nostrils flared. “I mean it, Jack.”
“So do I.”
Her face flashed with anger—heartbreak—but then went placid. Other than her harsh breaths, there was no indication that she was bothered at all.
But I saw the truth.
Saw that me holding her like this was crushing her.
I should have let her go.
I pulled her closer.
She let me, too.
But she stayed rigid, the sounds of life outside as people rummaged through the truck fading until there was only breath, hers, mine—ours.
I linked my arm around her waist and pulled her closer, her soft breasts and stomach, the slight bump where my baby rested pressed against me.
I couldn’t say how long we stood like that. Or when it happened. But it did happen. She relaxed an increment.
Then another.
Another still until she leaned her entire weight against me.
I tightened both arms around her. Dared to pull her closer.
“I’m not going anywhere, Asia,” I finally whispered in her ear.
She didn’t say anything. Not even when I pulled her closer still.
The silence was brief.
“Why’d you even come back?”
Anyone else would have recoiled from the venom in Asia’s voice.
I should have.
But I stayed where I was, standing in this too small room that was more of a closet, a place where she thought she could hide from me, and stared at her.
The seconds ticked by one after another after another as I took in her rage—and her anguish. In those seconds her mask was gone.
And I could see—really see—what I’d done.
Then it was gone. She pulled away and looked at me, her face as blank as the fresh new notebooks she’d told me she loved.
She crossed her arms under her breasts and let out a breathy sigh. “You know what? Never mind, it doesn’t matter.”
She turned to leave, and I reached for her arm.
She looked back at me with a brow arched, a soft smile on her face, one that mocked me with its insincerity.
When she finally spoke, her voice was docile, placating, and drove me up the fucking wall.
“I’m really sorry, Jack. That was very insensitive.
I should have been more considerate of your feelings. I hope you can forgive me.”
My hand shook with rage, with other emotions I couldn’t name, but I cupped her cheek gently.
Her nostrils flared with her breath, the only slight crack in her iron facade.
I didn’t bother with a ceremony, just twisted her and pushed her face down on the mattress, my hand splayed across her stomach in a way I knew she hated.
She looked back at me. Her eyes gleamed, equal parts rage and anticipation of the pleasure she knew my body would give her, satisfaction at the victory she had just won.
I entered her roughly.
She yielded to me.
We’d never been further apart.