Chapter 4
FOUR
Ezra
“Hey, man!”
I open the door to see Cayson standing in the hallway, a bottle of wine held high in his left hand. His hair is in its usual fashion, short on the sides and far too high on the top, probably styled with half a bottle of gel. He’s wearing a light blue suit for the first big Selection event. It screams his desire for attention, almost comically loud compared to my simple black suit. And he’s smirking at me, revealing the dimples in the corners of his mouth. It’s usually a look he saves for whatever pack of ladies he’s trying to get into bed.
I guess I should be flattered he’s using it on me…
Cayson gives me a quick hug, patting my back like he’s assessing me. “Hey man,” he says, “muscles looking a little small. I can help you with that, if you want to join me for some workouts.”
Please . Cayson is smaller than me in all ways, even though it’s not by a lot. At six foot five inches, I’m a tall man, but I never stop reminding him that at six-two, he’s shorter than me. And while he’s naturally muscular, I’m still bigger because I actually work at it by keeping myself busy helping my pack. The only way he’d get bigger than me is if he started participating in his pack, or started hitting the gym on a daily basis. Neither of which he’s going to do. Not when there are drinks and fun to have.
But I don’t say that. “Yeah, well I’d rather have small pecs than a small di?—”
He cuts me off. “Shut the fuck up,” he says, cuffing me on the back of the head and pushing past me into my room. He spins in a circle, letting out a low whistle as he takes in my plush room. I close the door, rolling my eyes at his theatrics as he falls down onto the bed.
“Why do you always get the best rooms?” he complains, holding the wine bottle up to me. “My room doesn’t even have a proper sitting area. And you have a fucking balcony ?”
I find a corkscrew in a drawer and pop the bottle open. I hand it back to him, even though I probably shouldn’t be encouraging his drinking. The thing is, I could use a drink and the time to relax with a good friend before the first event takes place with the omegas.
Cayson sits up, taking a long glug of the wine before he passes the bottle to me. Because… we’re animals who don’t need glasses. But if I say that, I’ll never hear the end of it.
“Did you guys get that problem sorted with the geese?” he asks, even though I’m sure he doesn’t really care.
I shake my head and accept the bottle. It’s warm, and I want to ask him where he got it. He’s always screwing around. He probably stole it from the kitchens, something he’s done at many different homes. And he wonders why he gets the shitty rooms.
“Yes.” I wipe the back of my hand over my lips and hand the bottle back. “No thanks to you.”
Not that I’d expected him to help when I’d texted him about the geese situation on my pack lands. I’d mostly just wanted to see him, even if he just hung out with me while I took care of the damn creatures. As frustrating as Cayson can be, he can also find the fun in any situation.
He lifts his hands like weights on a scale on each side of him, even though he has the wine bottle clenched in one hand. “Hmm, deal with a geese problem, or travel through Europe? I don’t know man, it’s a hard choice.”
I smirk. “Your mom says you could have been helpful. She thinks you and the geese speak the same language. Something about being loud and whiny, while also being useless?”
“Fuck you,” Cayson says, laughing and taking another long pull from the bottle. His complexion is looking more golden than usual, I guess afternoons by the sea in Italy will do that to you. “You should have come to Europe with us, man. It was amazing. You would not believe the girls over there– they think we’re like fucking royalty.”
I roll my eyes at him and reach for the bottle, and after a moment, he relinquishes it to me. Despite drinking most of it, he’s not even slurring. Seems like Europe also helped him up his alcohol tolerance. Although, I’m not surprised. The group of guys he went with were all rich alphas who hadn’t been given the responsibilities of the pack yet. I’d hung out with them. The only thing they seemed to know how to do was drink and fuck.
“Yeah, my dad would have been super pleased with me running off to Europe and leaving him to handle the pack,” I say, after swallowing down another mouthful of warm wine, because, you know, my father wouldn’t have been happy… but also, it’s nicer than saying I didn’t want to go either. “You know how much he loves wasted time and lollygagging.”
“You’re talking about having fun,” he says, casting me a knowing look.
“Same difference.”
Europe could be fun, if you were into that kind of thing, but deep down, I know I would have had a terrible time. Cayson is one of my best friends, but sometimes, being around him is like being a babysitter. If I’d been in Europe with them, I would have been the one cutting the alphas off and making sure they got back to their hotels without losing a limb.
Once, when Cayson actually did convince me to come out with him, I’d had to tackle him out of the street to keep him from getting hit by a car. The next morning, when I was patching up my scrapes and bruises, he’d asked what they were from. And getting blackout drunk was hardly a rarity with him. The guy had demons, and those demons were only silenced with girls and liquor.
“I can’t imagine the geese were the worst of your worries,” Cayson says, reaching into his pocket and producing a cigarette.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Don’t even think about smoking that in here,” I warn. “I am not getting in trouble for your poor behavior.”
Not only that, but who wants their room and clothes to smell like smoke? Sure as hell not me.
“Calm down, man, it’s just something to fiddle with. You know I would never tarnish your good name.” He flashes a smile I don’t at all trust.
I eye him warily, then dump the last drop of the wine onto my tongue, wishing there was more. Something has to settle my nerves. I’m in no way looking forward to my first Selection event, nor all the omegas I’ll be trying so desperately to avoid, while looking like I’m participating. I just need something to calm me down a bit. If not liquor, then what?
“You’re right, the geese were the least of our worries. We’re also working on fixing the river problem,” I say, sighing.
Every year, the houses at the bottom of the village flood, which causes a lot of headaches. It also affects the fields, and when they flood out, we lose a significant amount of our crops. Our store houses are already dwindling. The last thing we need is to sacrifice more food.
Not that Cayson worries about things like that, since he knows how well set up my pack is.
The thing is, Pack Azure is an incredibly powerful pack with a lot of wealth and resources, but we don’t live for today, we plan for tomorrow. Every decision we make has to be correct. Our primary duty is to ensure our people are well-fed, safe, and housed. It’s an around-the-clock job that I haven’t taken a break from since I came of age. I wasn’t about to let geese or floods stop me from doing that job, no matter how back-breaking dealing with pack issues is.
It’s tiring, but it’s also gratifying. Once you’ve held a baby in your hands, knowing that your actions will directly affect the rest of their life, you start to take the job a little more seriously. I, for one, know the names of each member of my pack, have a relationship with them, and, I think, their respect.
Even if, again, all things come with a price.
“It’s been a hellish process,” I continue, rolling the bottle between my hands as Cayson stares at the floor. “We’ve been trying to dig away paths for the water to go when it floods. Many of the seamstresses are putting together bags to fill with sand. We’re basically putting in a lot of effort now in hopes that when the storms come, we won’t have to deal with the same flooding.”
“Sounds like a whole lot of fun,” Cayson says, his voice laced with sarcasm, then adds, “You couldn’t catch me dead, digging up river sand like that.”
Although I heard it rumored his people were having issues too. “Did you stop at home, or just come straight here after Europe? Have you seen your father?”
Cayson flicks his eyes at me, and I immediately regret asking the question. Unlike me and my father, Cayson and his father don’t get along well. I tend to use my father and his expectations as an excuse to Cayson and the others for why I don’t join them on more of their adventures, but the truth is that I’m a man of routine. I would rather be in bed by nine every night than out chasing trouble.
Besides, when someone in the pack needs me, they always know right where to find me and my dad.
The same can’t be said for Cayson and his situation.
“No, and I don’t intend to,” Cayson finally says, tearing me away from my thoughts. “That old asshole has enough control over me as it is. I’m just trying to stay out of his way, and hopefully, he’ll forget about me altogether. He's not really interested in me taking over, anyway.”
There’s a tinge of jealousy there, and I try to ignore it. My father has been adamant and meticulous about training me to take his spot one day, insisting that I need to be ready to take care of the pack. Cayson’s father seems to enjoy his control, and doesn’t relish the idea of anyone taking his spot, no matter the fact that it will happen eventually, with or without his blessing.
A loud shout comes from the hallway, and several guys let out whoops. Some people are definitely more excited about The Selection than others. I feel a ball of dread lodge itself in my chest, just south of my heart. The first event will be starting any second. What the hell am I supposed to do?
“You excited, man?” Cayson asks, leaning forward and grinning at me, as though he’s ready to move on from the depressing talk of his father.
“Excited?” The word comes out as a horrified question.
He laughs. “Excited! For The Selection! Surely, you’ll have your pick as the would-be alpha to one of the nine largest packs.”
“You too. Every omega wants an alpha from Pack Steel, and you’re next in line to run the pack. Omegas will be flocking to you,” I say, dodging his question.
“So you’re excited?” he asks, lifting a brow.
“Yeah,” I say, returning his laughter, even though it sounds hollow, and rubbing my hand on the back of my neck. What’s the point in having your pick if you’re not interested? “I don’t know. Maybe this isn’t my year.”
“What?” He looks shocked.
I shrug, finally speaking the words aloud. “I don’t think I’m ready for an omega.”
Cayson studies me for a long moment, rolling his cigarette back and forth between his fingers. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but the problem with Cayson is, for all his pomp and recklessness, he’s smart. He’s not just going to let something like this go.
“Not ready, or don’t want one?”
“I don’t know,” I say, trying to keep my tone light despite the fact that I can’t raise my gaze from the floor. I see Cayson’s boots move a bit as he shuffles forward on the bed, sitting up.
A long moment passes between us, and I fight the rage and sorrow battling for dominance in my throat. I just want him to let this go. To move on without analyzing this further, because I know what he’ll find if he keeps on digging, and it’s only going to bring me pain.
“Is it about Katie?”
I blink hard, and for a brief moment, my fist itches to connect with Cayson’s face. But it’s not his fault. It’s just a word—just a name. It shouldn’t have this effect on me.
“It has nothing to do with her,” I say, knowing my tone is sharper than I intend for it to be. I try to move on, shifting the attention to Cayson instead. “What about you? Are you excited? Do you intend to find an omega?”
“Oh, yes,” Cayson drawls, grinning, “I intend to enjoy as many as I can… at least during The Selection. I won’t be taking any home with me.” He wrinkles his nose. “The gods know I don’t need to be tied down at twenty-one years young.”
My stomach tightens. Sometimes, Cayson is too unserious for his own good. Before I can try to figure out something to say to that, the bell sounds from the hallway, filtering into my room will a dull echo.
“Shit!” Cayson says, jumping to his feet. “I have to have a smoke before it starts!”
He moves to the door, then stops for a moment. “You coming, man? We can stop by my room real quick, then head down.”
“No,” I say, clearing my throat and looking up at him. “You go on without me.”
He stares at me for a long moment, then shrugs, lighting up his cigarette the moment he turns into the hallway. And I give a little prayer of thanks that he just let this go, even though he knows more is going on beneath my surface. The last thing I need right now is for someone to watch me battling my own inner demons.