Chapter 9
NINE
Faye
The front lawn of the castle stretches out until it meets up with the woods, the carefully maintained lawn standing at complete odds to the wild forest surrounding it. The air is warm. Conversation buzzes around me, both from the side of the lawn with the omegas, and the side with the alphas, and I try everything in me not to think about last night.
About Kurt.
Addilyn had done her best to help cover up the bruises on my throat with her makeup, so I wouldn’t draw attention to myself at breakfast, muttering about that bastard Kurt the whole time. Luckily for me, she was an omega who understood that speaking up might be more dangerous than staying silent, especially after she saw what I went through with my brother’s murder, so she’d promised to keep my secret about what had happened. She’d also, kindly, allowed us to drop the unpleasant topic, knowing I didn’t want to keep talking about it, which was a relief.
She hums as she lays in the grass, then moves into a sitting position, giving me a smile. “So, did you find anyone at the ball last night? Anyone looking good to you?”
I continue picking at the grass, not looking up to meet Addilyn’s gaze. I know she’s just being a good friend by focusing our conversation on something happy, but, of course, I didn’t find anyone last night. I was too busy trying not to die. Too busy avoiding everyone and anyone. Except the kind alpha and the strange one on a balcony.
A cloud moves over the sun and all the omegas collectively sigh in relief. It’s a blazing hot day, and we’ve been out here at least an hour already. We'd been brought outside right after breakfast and told to wait at the lawn. At first, all the omegas had stood together in a tight group, barely talking. But the longer we’ve had to wait, the more relaxed we’ve become.
Now, we’re all just sitting around in the grass with nothing to do but talk. Luckily, Addilyn and I are a little ways from the others, so the laughter and chatting isn’t nearly as annoying. The alphas are all grouped together on the opposite side of the lawn. Some of them are talking, others are rough housing around, wrestling and hollering. It’s like a boy’s club. But then again, life is pretty good for alphas. For men. Alphas have all the power and all the control.
I look away from them and focus on the question. Had I met anyone last night? “No,” I say, shaking my head, “definitely not.”
“Well, if you discover that you have a fated mate, you better tell me about it right away.” She points at me with a serious look before smiling. “You know Maeve? The girl from the end of the hall? She found her fated mate last night, and it’s all anyone could talk about at breakfast this morning.”
I’d heard. I’d just been too disturbed to focus on it.
“That’s…” I start to say, searching for the right word. I want to say terrifying , but I don’t think Addilyn will agree with that, so I settle on, “…nice.”
“I mean, it would cut out a lot of the anxiety from this whole process. To just know right away, who the right alpha is.”
“I guess.”
She gives me a pointed look, like she’s trying to look angry, but failing. “You haven’t found a fated mate, have you? You would tell me, right?”
I don’t exactly know what it feels like to find one's fated mate, but I’m pretty sure even though I don’t know, I would if it happened to me. Right? Yes, I’d have to be aware of it.
“No, I haven’t found one.” I laugh, and then my laughter dies as a sobering thought hits me. “I don’t—I don’t know if I can have a fated mate.”
“What?” Addilyn asks, wrinkling her eyebrows and pulling her head back. “What do you mean? Why would you think that?”
I swallow hard, looking down the field at the alphas just so I don’t have to look at her. All at once, the image of my brother’s broken body flashes into my head, and I have to squeeze my eyes tight to flush it away.
Since the day he died, I’ve had a solid brick wall around myself and everyone else. And that didn’t just stop with pushing people away like I did with Addilyn. It extended to all my mental and emotional ties, too. As time went on, I stopped feeling the pack bond. Stopped caring about the rest of my pack-mates.
If I can’t feel the simplest of connections to the people in my pack, how could I ever form a mate-bond with an alpha?
Luckily, I’m saved from answering when a ball comes hurtling across the field toward us. I flinch back when it almost hits me, but Addilyn reaches out and grabs it at the last moment. She hops to her feet, smiling buoyantly at the alphas as she tosses the ball from hand to hand.
In her little white tennis skirt and collared shirt, she looks amazing. I can’t see the alphas from this distance, but I imagine they’re all staring right at her.
One of the alphas turns, jogging in our direction, like he might come to collect the ball, but Addilyn pulls her arm back, rocketing the ball out into the field, far past the alpha who’d started heading our way. All of the men watch the ball sail into their area, landing firmly in the arms of a bare-chested, rather hairy alpha, who looks stunned.
Addilyn waves at them, then blows a kiss in their direction.
“Woah,” I breathe, when Addilyn sits back down, brushing her hands like that throw was nothing. Omegas aren’t exactly known for their athletic ability. I didn’t even know it was possible for an omega to be that strong.
“I used to play catch with my brothers,” Addilyn says with a laugh. “Guess it’s like riding a bike.”
“I guess so.” But that’s damn cool.
“Do you think the alphas were impressed? How many of them do you think saw?” She looks like a kid talking about a really good day at recess, which makes me happy.
“Every single one was staring at you, for sure,” I say with a laugh.
Addilyn glances in their direction quickly, like she doesn’t want to be seen looking. “Hopefully some of them approach me during the next event, whatever it is,” she says.
Of course they will. Alphas want the strongest omega they can get. That display probably put Addlyn at the top of many of their lists of women to check out. She better be ready to be swarmed by men.
Yet, something about what she said surprises me. “What do you mean some of them? You don’t have your sights set on a certain one yet?”
I would have thought by now that Addilyn would have zeroed in on one guy, who she’d be determined to make her alpha. She’s the type of woman with a laser focus when it’s something she wants, and she wants an alpha really badly.
“Oh, no,” she says, twisting a lock of her dark hair around a single finger. “There are definitely a few I’m interested in, though.”
A few already? I don’t even want one. “How will you choose?”
She looks at me like I’m crazy. “ Choose ? I’m hoping to leave here with at least eight mates. One for every day of the week and two for Sunday.”
“ Eight ? I thought seven used to be enough for you.” I accidentally let my voice rise, and Addilyn quirks an eyebrow at me, amusement playing over her face. “Oh,” I say, “you’re joking.”
“Only partially. That’s the record, you know—eight alphas for a single omega.”
“Gods, can you even imagine? Trying to please eight alphas at once?”
“I do. Imagine it, I mean.” She flutters her eyelashes, making a seductive face.
I mime gagging at her and she giggles back, but we’re interrupted by the sound of hoofbeats against the grass as the ultimas approach our two groups. The same ultimas who’d never even bothered to look into my brother’s death.
Addilyn and I get to our feet, and as I’m standing, across the field, I see Kurt standing with a small group of alphas. When I meet his eyes, a slow predatory grin spreads across his face. He makes a show of licking his lips, his gaze running up and down my body. He points to me and mouths "You're mine."
My stomach turns and I immediately look away, even knowing that Kurt saying such a thing means he wants to hurt me. Not that he actually wants me. At least for anything more than something bad.
“Fucking hell,” Addilyn says, having glanced over and apparently seen what’s caused my distress. “He can’t hurt you. You just need to stay the hell away from him.”
If only it was that easy.
“Attention!”
Addilyn falls silent and we all crane our necks, looking up at the three older men atop horses in the middle of the field. They’re huge and gorgeous—almost too perfect to look at, with sculpted bodies and tall, confident postures. I bow low, feeling a deep need to be submissive to the most powerful wolves in our society. Every omega on our side of the field bows, and when I glance over, I even see the alphas lowering their heads in deference.
To the ultimas.
I shiver. The ultimas who didn’t care about Miles. They barely even bothered to hear my side of the story before deciding that Kurt was innocent and closing the case. Instinctually, I would always bow down to them, but they didn’t have my respect after what they did.
The blond middle-aged ultima flashes all of us a smile. “Good morning, everyone. I’m Lance, and this is Hector and Brock,” he says, first indicating the gray-haired rugged-looking man, and then gesturing to the huge dark-haired man. “We’re here to overlook the festivities and help you celebrate The Selection. We’ll be guiding the omegas as they get to know the alphas for now, and we’ll continue to guide them when the ferals arrive later on in The Selection.”
Everyone cheers, but I just feel sick. The alphas are bad enough, but once they get enough time with us, the ferals get a chance to bond with us too. The wild, unpredictable creatures, most of whom were thrown out of their own packs.
I shiver, not wanting to think about it.
Lance continues. “We hope you had a good breakfast, because today’s activity is going to involve some exercise.”
Lance’s blond hair glints golden in the sunlight. He looks like he could be a bit shorter than the other two ultimas, but his shoulders are broad, sturdy. And there’s something about him that seems a little gentler than Hector and Brock, but I could be wrong. In all likelihood, they’re all assholes.
The ultima to Lance’s left with dark hair and deep brown eyes, Brock, continues talking. “This is the first of many experiences designed to help alphas and omegas get to know one another. As we’re all aware, fated mates will feel the connection immediately, but chosen mates will need to nourish a connection. These activities are our attempt to do just that, which means all omegas and all alphas are required to participate.” He takes a deep breath, his dark eyes intensely sweeping across us as he does so. “During this activity, the omegas will get a ten-minute head start, running?—”
“—surprise, surprise—” Hector, the ultima with gray hair mutters, which makes some of the alphas laugh.
A knot forms in my stomach at Hector’s harsh tone. I don’t need him to say more to know he’s the kind of ultima who looks down on omegas. Who sees us as only vessels to carry children. I’ll stay away from him, if I can.
“So,” Brock continues, looking annoyed. “The omegas will have a ten-minute head start running towards the woods. Alphas, your goal is to catch an omega of your choosing. The omega you catch will be your dinner partner tonight. This is all about tapping into your animal nature, then using your instincts to find the right omega for you. Do not take any liberties with omegas during the experience. We will be monitoring this game. Alphas, after you’ve caught your omega, bring them back here to the lawn so we can take note.”
“Oh no,” Addilyn mutters as the ultimas move closer to the alphas, directing their instructions to them. “I think my ankle is sprained.”
“What?” I ask, turning to her, my eyes wide. “Oh, no, Addy?—”
“Yeah,” she mutters, running a hand over it. “I probably won’t make it that far. This sucks. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how many alphas catch me. Poor me.”
“Oh, gods,” I say, rolling my eyes. “You are the worst. I believe you every time.”
“Hey,” she says, bouncing on her heels and stretching her arms above her head, like she’s preparing for an Olympic race. “You don’t want a mate—I want several. We can balance each other out.”
“Thanks for taking one for the team.” I laugh, rolling my eyes.
When Addilyn bends down to touch her toes, my gaze wanders over to the alphas again. Kurt is there, right at the front of the pack, his eyes locked on me. Why are his eyes locked on me? Then, he points at me, an awful smile curling his lips.
I struggle to swallow, my breath catching in my throat. My heartbeat picks up. I can’t have a panic attack here. I need to calm down. I need to think about something else.
Closing my eyes, I picture my grandma, rubbing my back, holding fresh lavender under my nose. My grandmother wasn’t a kind woman, or a patient woman, but she and my grandfather took us in when our parents passed away, killed by a rival pack. They made sure we had clothes on our backs and food in our bellies, even if they resented having to raise children all over again. And as much as I knew we weren’t wanted by them, there were small moments, like when she used the lavender to calm me, that I knew some part of her cared about me.
“Think calming thoughts,” she would say.
So I try to. I try to picture something that makes me feel calm and safe. And to my surprise, I picture the man from the hallway last night, and how he comforted me, sending that servant away and making sure I got back to my room okay. That was the most taken care of I’ve felt in years.
When I open my eyes, the ultimas are still in the center of the field, but Lance is holding a gun over his head. My palms grow sweaty, and I filter out the giggling of the other omegas. To them, this is a game. To me, this is a nightmare. I can’t handle a meal with Kurt. I’ll come apart, and people will start to ask questions. He won’t like it if they do.
“Best of luck to you!” Lance shouts, with far too much joy, before pulling the trigger and sending the omegas scattering into the woods.
And me… running for my life.