Chapter 22

TWENTY-TWO

Ezra

The picture in my hands is worn and frayed, and I know that taking it out and looking at it just makes it degrade faster, but I can’t help it. I’m afraid that if I stop looking at it, I’ll forget about my feelings.

And I can never forget about her.

In the picture, Katie and I are sitting on the beach in the sand. Her long brown hair is messy. There’s sand on her face, and her dark eyes are full of amusement. And there I am, smiling, like an absolute fool. Unaware that in a few short months she’ll be lost to me forever.

But that was two years ago.

Right now, with thoughts of Faye running through my head non-stop, it feels like I’m betraying Katie. Negating the love I have for her to something secondary. Most people only have one love of their life, and I had mine. I’ve known deep down inside that I’m meant to spend the rest of my days alone.

So why is some nagging feeling telling me differently now?

I can’t help it. Every time I think of Faye, I feel strange. Different. Changed. I think of her, sitting in that boat with me, bickering with Cayson, playing and jumping around in her tiny wolf form, and something in my chest gets warm. Warm in a way I’ve missed.

But I’ve had one love. I lost it. That chapter of my life is closed. Isn’t it?

It is. It should be. Besides, Faye will definitely find an alpha. I find it hard to believe that there’s not a single other alpha at The Selection who’s failed to notice how intelligent, beautiful, and intriguing she is. She’ll have men fighting over her. She doesn’t need some heartbroken wolf like me, who isn’t even sure he’s capable of loving her the way she needs to be loved.

That’s right. Faye can do better than me.

One day, Faye will live in a beautiful house with the man of her dreams. They’ll have a handful of kids together, and they’ll all love her unconditionally. Her alpha will rid her of the ghosts of her past and make her feel safe and protected at all times, just like she deserves.

She doesn’t need me.

There’s a knock at the door, and it can only be one person this late at night. I quickly fold the picture, tucking it back into my wallet before Cayson comes strolling in, a bottle of scotch hanging from his fingers. His blond hair is wild on top, as wild as his dark eyes, and I wonder if he’s already had a few. Not that I blame him. The meeting with the council was brutal.

“Hey man,” he says, striding in before letting his back hit the wall beside my bed. He slides down so he’s sitting on the ground with the scotch between his legs. “Long fucking day.”

“Right,” I say, eying the scotch.

I know drinking right now probably isn’t the answer, but I can’t deny that a little numbness might feel good. As an alpha, I’m not accustomed to feeling useless. Usually, it’s as if the world is always there, bowing in servitude. Experiencing this other side of life is… unpleasant to say the least.

“Did you see her face earlier?” Cayson asks, taking a swig of the scotch, pain etched across his face. “When the council told her not to point fingers?”

“Yes,” I say, my voice tight. I slide down off the bed and come to sit across from him, my fingers reaching out for the bottle. He reluctantly passes it to me. “It was unpleasant.”

“She was fucking devastated. I can’t believe they’re doing this. They sent that girl’s body home and I haven’t heard anything else about an investigation. It’s like they don’t even care.”

It really was like they didn’t care. Had an alpha been murdered, this entire place would have been torn apart. Each person would have been questioned, and people would have been brought in from the outside to help with the investigation.

This… this was a slap in the face to Serra and her family. I can’t even believe that this is actually how this situation will be handled. There must be more to it that we’re not seeing. There has to be.

It’s true that Kurt’s father, Dexter, is a dangerous man. The kind of man who starts wars over perceived insults and has the kind of instability that every wolf seems to fear. But even he isn’t untouchable.

It’s just that the ultimas don’t want to potentially start a war over the loss of one omega, especially with a pack filled with strong males. Which is sad.

“I think we just have to trust the process. Once the ultimas have time to think, I’m sure justice will be served,” I say without thinking, because it’s a sentiment I always believed, though I’m not so sure I believe that any more.

Hell, how can I possibly think that now?

All my life I’ve believed in the council. In the order of things. I knew deep inside that alphas, betas, and omegas all had their places in our society, but all were valued and protected the way they needed to be. But seeing things through Faye’s eyes makes me feel like I bought into a lie that’s been told so many times that everyone just believes it.

Cayson raises an eyebrow at me like he can hear the skepticism in my voice. “Trust the process, right,” he says, taking the bottle back from me.

There’s a tense moment before I say, “The guards haven’t seen him near her door.”

“I guess there’s at least that.”

The guards are our best bet at keeping her safe. Other than moving in with her and watching her every move, which we wouldn’t be able to do… not unless we claimed her as our omega, which we, of course, wouldn’t do.

Cayson gives me a tired look. “To make things worse, I can’t focus on anything else. I even had a dream about her last night.”

“Wow,” I say, raising my eyebrows sarcastically. “ You , dreaming about a woman?”

I’m pretty sure the horny bastard dreams about women every night, getting his rocks off even in his sleep. There’s no way his dreams are even close to appropriate for most of the population, so him dreaming about Faye like that is no surprise.

“No, dude,” he says, leaning forward. “You don’t understand. It wasn’t a sex dream.”

What? That actually does surprise me. Cayson dreaming about a woman, about Faye, without the entire thing revolving around sex? Maybe he has to ease up on the liquor.

Cayson ruins the moment by continuing. “But that’s the thing. I think my body is just confused. I think I just need to bang it out of my system. I already tried with a couple of other omegas, but I couldn’t even get started. Being near other women, it’s just not scratching the itch. I think the only solution is that I need to get Faye, then the urge will go away.”

Something itchy moves under my skin at his words, but I push it away.

“There’s just something about that girl, man,” Cayson says, taking a swig from his scotch. “It’s like she’s a brainworm or something. Stuck in my head.”

“I have to admit,” I say, running a hand over the back of my neck and reaching for the bottle, “I’m feeling a connection with her, too.”

“No shit ,” Cayson says, laughing. He doesn’t look surprised, just happy. “Big bad Ezra has a crush on our little Faye. I can’t believe this!”

“Very funny.”

“You want her!”

“This is great, Cayson. A great conversation,” I drawl out.

“You want to kiss her, don’t you?”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, just keep going.”

“Did you fall in love out on the water like a perfect little prince?”

“Are you about done?”

Silence falls over the room, but we’re grinning at each other, and Cayson reaches forward, slipping the bottle from my grip and dripping the last of it onto his tongue.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel,” I say after a long moment of silence passes between us. “I’m not going to do anything about it. I’ve already decided I’m just trying to get through The Selection so I can get home. Being away for this long is already making me nervous.”

Cayson nods, rolling the bottle between his hands.

“I’m not going to do anything, either,” Cayson says, “except maybe try to get under her skirt before this whole Selection is done in a few weeks. But I’m sure as hell not claiming her as my omega. There’s way too much other stuff I’d rather do than bring an omega home for my dad to gripe about.”

I nod, not missing the sour tone laced through Cayson’s words. He may be saying he has no interest in claiming Faye, but the look on his face is saying otherwise. And, despite my best intentions, I relate to the feeling far more than I would like.

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