Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
HAWTHORN
I woke to Zale shaking my shoulder.
"Hawthorn." His voice wavered. "My water just broke."
I was instantly awake and sat up in the darkness. "Are you sure?"
"Pretty sure, considering I'm sitting in a puddle." He tried to laugh but it came out strained. There was an edge to his voice which wasn’t surprising considering he was about to give birth.
"Okay." I scrambled out of bed and turned on the lamp. I helped him into the bathroom and under the warm shower. He put on an oversized T-shirt and I changed the bedding. "We should time the contractions and see how far apart they are."
"They're close." He gripped the edge of the mattress. "Really close. I think…oh gods.”
He doubled over as a contraction hit. Though our link through the bond didn’t allow us to read our mate’s mind or understand exactly what they were feeling, it often gave us an indication.
But now the pain that my mate was experiencing slammed into me too and I had to lock my knees to stay upright.
My wolf whined, distressed at our mate's suffering.
I moved to his side and rubbed his back. "Breathe through it like we practiced.”
Zale panted through the contraction. When it eased, he straightened. "That was maybe three minutes since the last one."
Three minutes. We'd attended the childbirth classes where many of the other participants were human and planning on having their baby in the hospital. It was usual for shifters to have their babies at home but I’d left the decision up to my mate as he was the one carrying and pushing out the baby.
But three minutes seemed awfully fast for a first baby. We’d been led to believe labor would be hours.
"If you want to change your mind and go to the hospital we can do that." If my mate preferred medical professionals attending him rather than just me, we’d do that. "Or we can stay here?"
"Here." Zale gripped my hand. "I want it to be just us."
Just us. Our pup would be born in our home, above the bakery, where we'd built our life together.
"Okay." I kissed his forehead. "Let me call the midwife."
We’d arranged to have the local midwife, Eileen, on call in case Zale needed her. After giving her the details, she told me what I suspected, that my mate’s labor was progressing quickly. She reminded me of what to expect and how to be supportive.
We’d watched countless videos and read all the birthing books in the local library. But I felt unprepared now the baby was on the way.
When I ended the call, another contraction was wrapping itself around my mate.
Zale was on his hands and knees on the bed, breathing hard.
Through the bond, the pain radiating through him and my wolf wanted to take it away because he couldn’t watch our mate suffer.
I hoped that by sharing the pain we were doing just that.
"What do you need?" I asked when the contraction passed. Perhaps that was a silly thing to say and he might respond with, "Stop asking ridiculous questions."
"Talk to me." Zale's voice was so brittle I expected it to snap. "I need you to keep talking and keep my mind occupied. Tell me about… I don't know… tell me about bread."
"Bread?" My mind was blank because what did my knowledge of bread have to do with active labor?
"Please, just talk." Zale asked me to help him up, saying he wanted to walk.
I helped him off the bed and into the living room where he could move around. He paced, one hand on his lower back with the other gripping furniture as he walked. I followed awkwardly behind him.
"Okay. Bread." I kept close to my mate in case he tripped or needed ice chips that I’d put in a bowl on the coffee table. I’d never had to think about the process of making bread for years because it was ingrained in me.
"Ummm, you start with the ingredients. Flour, water, yeast and salt.
Simple things that become something more. "
Zale nodded, still pacing. “Keep going."
"You mix them together slowly but you can't rush it. The dough needs time to come together.” I watched him breathe through another contraction. My wolf was pacing inside me worried about our mate. "That's it. Just breathe. Keep it steady and rhythmic."
When the contraction eased, Zale kept moving. I stayed with him, one hand on his lower back.
"Then you knead it," I continued. "Push it away with the heel of your hand and fold it back." I was in awe of my mate’s strength and determination as he coped with the contractions.
"Don’t stop now," Zale gasped. "Tell me more."
"You’re doing so well and one day I’ll tell our little one how you brought them into the world." I brushed away tears because my mate needed me at his side and not a blubbering mess.
Another contraction hit. Zale gripped the back of the couch and I pressed against his back, supporting him. Through our connection, I felt the wave of pain crest and slowly recede.
"Zale, you’re doing great,” I murmured. "You’re so strong."
"More talking. Tell me about anything."
"I love you so much and you’re going to be a great dad. You already are because you’ve carried and nurtured our baby. For nine months you cradled our little one while they grew."
Zale made a sound that might have been a laugh. "Not sure I had a choice about the growing part."
"But you did it perfectly." I kissed his shoulder. Thanks to the link we were sharing, I poured love and strength into him. My wolf was whining, wanting to help more, and urging me to take the pain away.
The contractions were coming faster now. He couldn't pace anymore. He ended up on his hands and knees on the floor. I was behind him with my hands on his hips.
"Talk," he demanded. "It’s… it’s almost like meditation. I need to hear your voice."
I wasn’t sure anything I had to say at this point would help but I remembered some wise words from our birthing class. “Remember this is pain with a purpose. At the end, our baby will be here and you will have done that."
"Hawthorn." He seemed to be forcing his voice out. "Something's changing. I feel… I need to push."
My heart sped up and my hands trembled. "Already?"
"Yes. Oh gods, I want to push."
I helped him move to the bedroom and onto the bed. My hands were shaking but I tried to stay calm because my mate needed me. Despite the fear and his pain, I sensed his determination. My mate was about to bring our pup into the world.
My wolf was alert now while I focused on helping Zale deliver the baby.
"Okay. You can push," I said, trying to remember what we’d learned in class. "Listen to your body."
Zale bore down with the next contraction. He screeched at how much it hurt and I gritted my teeth as I shared his agony while supporting him. Again, I told him he was doing great, though my heart was racing.
"More talking,” he gasped between contractions. "Tell me more."
Gods, I wasn’t sure I could do this but my wolf reminded me our mate was giving birth and I had to man up.
I brushed his sweat-dampened hair back. "You’re almost there."
Another contraction and my mate pushed hard while begging the universe to ease the agony.
"I can see the head." My voice cracked. "Zale, I can see our baby. You’re so close."
"But it hurts."
I placed my hand on his hip so more of the pain transferred to me. Me and my wolf would absorb it so Zale could bring our baby into the world.
"You can do this."
He pushed again and our baby slid into my waiting arms. A little girl. She was small and slippery and I wrapped her in my PJ top.
She let out a wail and I understood that I’d never look at the world in the same way again. I tucked our daughter under my arm while covering up my mate. Tears trickled over my cheeks as I managed to get out, "We have a daughter."
I placed her on Zale's chest so they were skin to skin. My mate wrapped his arms around her and made cooing sounds. I experienced an overwhelming love for him and my little girl, and my wolf was ecstatic and wouldn’t stop talking.
I sat on the bed because my legs wouldn’t hold me. We had a little girl and my mate was a champion. I didn’t think I could love Zale more when we mated but I was wrong.
"It’s so nice to meet you, my darling." Zale inspected her fingers and toes.
Our little girl stopped crying. She blinked up at him with dark eyes and gripped his finger.
I cleaned our daughter with warm towels and surrounded my mate with pillows, before climbing onto the bed beside them.
"She's beautiful," Zale said softly. "Look at her."
"She's perfect." I stroked her warm cheek. "You did it. You were amazing."
“You helped not only by sharing my pain but with the monotonous talk about bread. It kept me grounded.”
He traced a finger over our daughter’s cheek. "You know talking about bread has made me hungry.”
While I was reluctant to leave my family, I raced downstairs and grabbed bread and pastries. I brought the food on a tray along with butter, cheese, honey and hot tea. I held our little girl while my mate ate, though he kept one hand on her, unable to lose contact.
“Hello Abigale.” Zale kissed her cheek. “I hope you love your name because it was also your great-grandmother's.”
I was certain my grandmother was looking down on us and smiling.