Chapter 20
20
Robyn
H e was so close.
Calvin was so close again. Damn the restraining order! Just being reminded that I’m in the same town as that man fills me with gut-wrenching dread. I can’t live like this. And I certainly don’t want my daughter growing up with the threat of danger looming over her.
“Kyra, honey, is your bag ready?” I ask as I come back into the bedroom.
For the past hour, I’ve kept her busy picking out her favorite clothes and shoes to put into a pink suitcase—we use it for the occasional trip out of town, but tonight, I decided we might be better off on our own and away from this place for good.
“Mommy, where are we going?” my little munchkin asks, giving me a confused look.
Most of her sweaters and pants are chaotically stacked in the suitcase, so I’ll chalk it up to progress, but I need to get the rest of her stuff ready so we can leave sooner rather than later.
“We’re just going to take a trip up to Oregon for a few days. You’ve been there before, remember? Last year. We visited the amusement park with the big clown roller coaster.”
“That clown was scary,” she says, scrunching her nose.
“Yeah, but the water slide was awesome. You loved it. And remember the cotton candy? The best cotton candy ever. You said so yourself,” I shoot back with a smile.
I’ve already packed my duffel bag. It’s waiting downstairs by the front door along with some cash and any important paperwork I may need.
“What about Knox and Jaggie and Diesel?”
“They’ll meet us later,” I say, though I’m lying to her. It makes me feel awful, but I tell myself it’s for her safety. “Come on, let’s get the rest of your stuff in. Oregon is pretty cold this time of the year.”
“Okay,” she mumbles and sits on the edge of the bed, watching while I pack her things. “Can I bring my unicorn onesie too?”
“Of course,” I smile and take it out of her dresser.
“And my blankie?”
“Which one?”
“The reindeer one.”
“Sure thing,” I reply and set that aside too. “It won’t fit in here, but we’ve got plenty of room in the car. Actually, you know what? Let’s pack another bag with some extra stuff. Why don’t you go ahead and pick out your plush toys. Give me your top three.”
Kyra shoots up to her feet, beaming like the morning sun. “And the hippo game. I want the hippo game.”
“Pack that too.” I say and chuckle softly.
Might as well pack the bed and the house altogether. I’ll cram it all in the back of the car if that’s what it takes to keep my daughter safe and happy. I feel guilty, though. This decision came as soon as I walked into the house, leaving Paulie outside on his bike to watch over us. I’ll need to be really careful as to how I slip out of here and avoid him.
I don’t think the guys will understand. It’s not that I don’t feel safe with them, I do. But what are we going to do when they’re not around? Will we forever live with Rogue Riders for shadows because of Calvin—and now, Marlo and the DEA too? It won’t end well. There’s always collateral damage when the Feds get involved. My daughter and I will be on their radar.
They’ll try to back me into a corner. They’ll want intel on the guys, threats, blackmail, whatever they can do to get me to talk.
“What about Pookie Bear?” I ask, nodding at one of her favorite toys. “You love sleeping with him.”
“Yeah, but he’s for home,” she says. “He’s gonna be waiting for us when we get back. I’m taking Squidgie and Lola the bunny, and Sebastian the fishy fish.”
“Alright, if that’s what you want.”
It’s hard to keep my spirits up in front of Kyra, but I need her to think that everything is okay. The last thing I want to do is scare her. I’ll call Rita at home and tell her I’m taking some time off from the salon.
Once we’re done with Kyra’s bags, I carry them downstairs and then help her put her coat and boots on. I raid the fridge for some food to take with us on the road.
“Are you ready, honey bunny?”
“Yep.”
“Okay.” I pause, then rush into the living room and glance out the window. Paulie is still in my driveway, going through his phone. Luckily, the backup riders have taken off for now to do a patrol. Evening has settled over Redwood with a dark blue sky and a spatter of stars and a full moon rises in the east. “Dammit. Kyra, wait here for a moment. Mommy will be right back.”
I step out and walk over to Paulie with a shy smile. “Hey, can you maybe do me a favor, Paulie? I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”
“Sure, Robyn. What is it?” he replies, putting his phone away.
“Kyra has a runny nose and a little bit of a cough and I’m all out of medicine. Would you be able to run to the drugstore right up the road for me? I don’t want to take her with me, and I don’t want to leave her alone either.”
He thinks about it for a second, and I can see his hesitation. “We’ll be fine for the five or ten minutes you’ll be gone. I promise to keep the doors locked and my gun with me until you get back. I just really want to get the medicine into her soon, so the poor thing starts to feel better.”
I hate using my daughter in the lie, but I just need ten minutes to get us into the car and on the road.
Finally, Paulie nods. “Sure thing. Just tell me what brand and I’ll run straight there.”
I tell him and hand him a twenty. “Thanks, Paulie, you’re a lifesaver.”
As soon as I see the Harley’s red taillights glimmering at the end of the road, I take a deep breath and go get our stuff. I set Kyra in her booster seat, strap her in, then leave the wireless tablet in her lap with a cartoon playing to distract her while I transfer the bags to the trunk of my Prius.
The front door of the house is now locked. The lights are off.
I’ll text Ellie and Rita later to apologize for my sudden departure. I’ll have to tell Diesel, Jagger, and Knox too, but only once I’m far enough away from this place. Looking around, it seems quiet. The neighborhood is half-asleep at this hour, which will work in my favor.
“They’re going to tear Paulie a new one,” I grumble as I open the driver’s door, ready to jump in, but I freeze at the sound of Harleys coming. “Shit.”
Knox, Jagger, and Diesel pull up in front of my Prius.
“What are you doing?” Knox asks as he takes his helmet off.
“I thought I’d take Kyra out for ice cream,” I mumble, though even I’m not buying my own story.
Judging by the looks on their faces, neither are they.
We stand like this for what feels like forever. Nobody says anything. They scan me from my head to my toes. They glance over to the car too. I notice a soft smile blooming on Diesel’s face. I follow his gaze and see Kyra waving at him from her car seat. He waves back. I am wracked with guilt and don’t know what to do about it.
“Where’s Paulie?” Jagger asks.
I can’t come up with a lie fast enough.
“Back in the house,” Knox commands.
“If I could just—”
“We’ve got too much to deal with right now, Robyn,” he says.
Exhaling deeply, I look up at him. “Why are you here? What happened back at the clubhouse with Marlo and Calvin?”
“Nothing happened with Calvin,” Jagger says. “He stayed by Marlo’s car the whole time.”
“And Marlo?”
“It’s why we’re here,” Knox replies. “You’ll be staying with us for a while at the clubhouse.”
Diesel goes to look in the trunk. “Looks like you’re already packed.”
Jagger swears under his breath and Knox shakes his head. “Let’s go.”
The drive is a quiet one. Kyra is half-asleep in the back; jazz plays on the radio. Streetlights whoosh past us, casting flickers of amber light across the black pavement. Twenty minutes later, we’re outside the clubhouse. To my astonishment, the parking lot is overflowing with motorcycles: all Harleys, all Rogue Riders. The bar is packed.
“What’s going on?” I ask as I get out of the car.
“We summoned the entire club for a meeting tomorrow morning,” Knox says, taking the keys out of his hog’s ignition. “They’re not all here yet.”
“All of them?”
“Yeah, it’ll get even more crowded at dawn,” Diesel says and chuckles dryly, then he and Jagger take our bags out of the trunk, carrying them over to a staircase attached to the side of the clubhouse, leading directly up to the top floor. “Come on, let’s get you ladies safe and comfortable.”
Knox takes a sleepy Kyra in his arms, letting me lock the car and follow them.
“Come on,” Knox says. “You’ll love it.”
“Love what?”
I get my answer as soon as we reach the top floor. The main side door at the top of the stairs is secured with an electronic lock, for which I’m given a key. “This is yours,” Knox says, and I slip the key in my jacket pocket. “There were only five keys issued for that door, just so you know. One for me, one for Knox, one for Diesel, one for Samson, and now one for you.”
“Okay.”
I follow them down a narrow hallway with walnut paneling and a solid, dark hardwood floor. At the very end, several doors past their office, Jagger and Diesel go into a room. As soon as I join them, I find myself breathless. “Oh, wow.”
“This should work, yeah?” Knox asks.
“This wasn’t here before. It used to be a storage space,” I say.
“We had it renovated for you,” Diesel says. “The guys have been working nonstop on it.”
“Do you like it?” Jagger asks as they set the bags down inside the front door.
“Like it? I love it,” I gasp, trying to wrap my head around it.
The storage space was big enough to match a generous two-bedroom apartment, which is exactly what they did with the place. They erected walls, replaced the linoleum with proper parquet, painted it in a soft off-white, and fitted it with everything needed for comfortable, cozy living.
“How long did this take?” I ask, admiring the brushed-brass light fixtures and the cherrywood console in the foyer.
“About two weeks,” Knox says, setting Krya down. She runs off to explore, wide-eyed and speechless, and I can’t really blame her. I’m the same. “It was a joint effort, but it was worth it.”
“There’s a spacious living room,” Jagger says, pointing to a huge lounge area with plush cream-colored sofas and a cherrywood coffee table that matches the console, with solid bookshelves and a wall-mounted TV. There’s even artwork hanging on the walls—most of them framed photographs of the club’s founding members and blown-up macros of motorcycle parts, but they bring the whole room together. “The bedroom is over there. Kyra’s room is separate, and there’s a baby monitor system set up already, which is easy to use. You can use it if you don’t feel like getting out of bed to check on her. It’s got a video feed and everything.”
Diesel turns to look at me. “I even hooked it up to an app for your phone. When Kyra’s home, you’ll have eyes on her.”
“I cannot believe this,” I mumble, tears pricking my eyes. The exhaustion of the last few days has finally caught up with me, and I no longer know what to do with myself. “Why?”
“Because this is the safest place for you,” Knox replies, gently cupping my face in his hands while I breathe him in deeply, letting the scent of burnt gasoline, leather, and musky cologne numb my senses. “The clubhouse is heavily guarded. There’s a panic button in every room with a direct, automated call to the sheriff’s office and an automated alert system for each of our phones. We’re going to have Riders guarding the whole property in 24/7 shifts. There’s a CCTV camera at every angle that connects to a surveillance system setup in our office.”
“I honestly don’t know what to say.”
“There’s not much to say, except maybe promise us you won’t ever think about running away again,” he replies and plants a sweet kiss on my lips. A fire burns within me. A fire I know I would’ve missed terribly had I left Redwood tonight. “I understand, I do. Putting some distance between you and Calvin might feel like the smart thing to do, but you know him as well as the rest of us. You know he’d hunt you down to the ends of the earth, especially if you’re not under our protection.”
“That’s why we came to you in the first place when we found out about his early release,” Jagger reminds me. “You’ll be comfortable here. There’s a kitchen, but you also have the clubhouse restaurant downstairs. You’ve got everything you need.”
“I even stocked the bathroom,” Diesel gives me a playful wink. “Found that fancy micellar water you like to use, the rose-scented one.”
“As if I couldn’t love you more,” I sigh deeply, softening against Knox’s hard frame.
Kyra’s voice echoes from her bedroom. “Mommy! Is this my bed?”
“Yeah, it is, honey!” I call out.
Diesel, Knox, and Jagger keep staring at me. I know what I just said, and I meant every word. But we’re obviously going to have to talk about it after the little one’s tucked in.
“Can I sleep in it?” Kyra yells.
“I’ll go deal with this,” I chuckle softly, then grab Kyra’s bags and go to her room.
Thirty minutes later, she’s sawing logs, sound asleep under a pink tartan cover with her favorite blankie on top. I take a moment just to look at her black curls and delicate nose, her light brown freckles and pink cheeks. Kyra is purity to me, innocence, clean of all the sins of this world. And I need to do right by her, regardless of my fears and doubts.
Right now this place is good for us. Knox and the guys made a fair point. It’s the safest. Safest is what I want for my daughter; safest is what she’ll get.
I find Knox, Diesel, and Jagger still standing in the living room, looking out the window. The night falls deeper over Redwood, but I can hear more engines in the parking lot. More riders coming through.
“It’ll go on all night,” Diesel mutters. “Sorry about the noise.”
“It’s okay,” I tell him. “The louder it is, the safer we’ll be, right? With all these Riders in the clubhouse, that is.”
“That’s pretty much the idea,” he says, his gaze lingering on my face. “Did you mean it?”
My cheeks catch fire.
“You dropped the L bomb,” Jagger smiles, his blue eyes sparkling as he comes closer. “It’s not something you can just get away with, especially if you meant it.”
“I would never say it unless I mean it,” I declare, raising my chin and my eyes to meet his. “I’m in love with you. Can’t lie about it. I can’t downplay it anymore either.”
Knox takes a deep breath. Slowly but surely, all three come closer, their steps heavy but steady. Their energy envelops me wholly with a sense of relief and safety. “You were running away tonight, weren’t you?” Knox asks.
I nod once. “I panicked. But please don’t hold it against Paulie. He had no idea.”
“He wasn’t at his post.”
“I told him Kyra wasn’t feeling good and needed medicine,” I add miserably.
Knox shakes his head. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you’d left us…”
I take a step forward and place my palms on his chest. There’s comfort in the feel of his leather jacket beneath my fingertips. “Forgive me. I saw Marlo. Calvin. Samson told me about the DEA thing…”
“Samson and his big mouth,” Diesel mutters.
“No, he was right to tell me since you wouldn’t,” I reply. “I had no idea it was this serious. They’re coming at you from all sides.”
“They’ll certainly try,” Knox says. “It doesn’t mean they’ll succeed.”
“Say it again,” Diesel cuts in. His hand comes up, fingers brushing my earlobe as he tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “I want to hear you say it.”
“What?”
“You know what.”
I give him a wry smile. “I love you.”
“And it’s because we love you that you’re here tonight,” Diesel replies and pulls me into a hungry, stern, and decisive kiss. “It’s because we love you that this even happened between us.”
“We never would’ve come to you if we didn’t feel this way,” Jagger says, his gaze softening. “Robyn, I fell for you from the moment we met. I saw that your heart was somewhere else at the time. Nobody could really resist Calvin’s charm. I kept my distance. But I’ve always felt this way about you.”
It gives me pause to hear them say such things. My heart blossoms and swells to the point where it might no longer fit within the confines of my ribcage. All I can do is kiss Jagger, then Knox, then Diesel again, pouring everything inside me into every single gesture. Every touch and caress. Letting my body speak for my soul.
“I am in love with you,” I whisper against Knox’s soft lips.
“And I swear I will burn the world down if you ever try to leave like that again,” he replies. “Don’t you tear my fucking heart open like that, you hear me, Robyn?”
“I’m sorry,” I say, meaning it from the bottom of my being. “I won’t. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.”
Maybe I’ll even work up the courage to tell them about my pregnancy soon. But a baby coming in the middle of a brewing storm… I don’t want to cloud their judgment any further, not when they have so much on the line.
“I love you,” Knox says, his voice trembling slightly as he takes me in his arms. “We’re in this together, Robyn, all the way through to the end.”
We retire to my bedroom and make love the entire night.