Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Staring into the fire, Anna couldn't ignore the feeling of unrest that settled in her bones.
It wasn't unpleasant necessarily. It was the kind of restlessness that came from excitement.
Though it kept her from sleeping. After tossing and turning for hours, her mind refusing to stop racing, she had forced herself in front of the hearth.
She'd never imagined being interrupted in that kind of situation.
It had been embarrassing, but that wasn't what had been bothering her.
Despite the fact that her own pleasure had reached its climax, she hadn't done anything for Hugh.
While he didn't ask, she found that she wanted to, even if she didn't quite know what she was doing.
In an attempt to clear her head, she reached for one of the books Hugh had brought her during their dinner. She was sure that it was an enjoyable story, but she couldn't seem to make herself process the words on the page. Instead, her mind was on the man in the chambers next to hers.
She could hear him pacing, his footsteps steady and measured. Occasionally, they would grow more muffled, as though he were stepping onto a carpet. He'd been moving around longer since he turned in over an hour ago. There was something on his mind, and she longed to know what it was.
And I want to know what comes next. After what he did with his mouth.
She pressed her thighs together, huffing lightly. It was late, and ignoring it would be the proper thing to do. Even if they were married, was it not inappropriate for her to be driven by lust? What if she distracted Hugh from whatever he was thinking over?
Something dangerous in her mind asked if perhaps he needed the kind of distraction that she could provide.
With a quiet groan, Anna shut the book and set it aside. There was no use in pretending she'd be able to read it. Holding it simply created another distraction. She needed to sort her thoughts out, then act. Or… perhaps go to bed.
Forcing herself to her feet, she walked over to her bed and threw the blanket back. The mattress was firmer than she was used to, and the thought of climbing back in made her lip curl. She tossed the blanket back into place before turning away.
She acted on impulse, marching out of her room and into the hallway before she lost her nerve. The candles lighting the corridor cast pools of flickering orange light across the worn stones. It seemed as though the glow was guiding her closer to him, calling her to his space.
The floor chilled her toes with each step she took.
Closing the distance between her chamber and his took both longer than she expected and went by too quickly for her to gather her thoughts.
When she rested her palm against the smooth brass of the knob, she realized that she didn't have a plan for how to approach this.
She wondered if she should knock or if she'd earned the right to walk right in, considering she was his wife. That would involve Anna knowing what she was asking for, though. She didn't know how to navigate desire, but Hugh clearly did.
I'm sure that he'd welcome me if I came inside and offered to do something for him.
Giving herself the final push she needed, Anna attempted to open the door. The handle didn't turn at first, so she tightened her grip and tried again. Still, it didn't budge.
Her brow furrowed as she attempted to open the door one more time. She was weak, or perhaps Hugh's door was simply difficult to move. When she was sure that it wasn't a fault of her own, she tore her hand away as though the metal burned her.
Holding her hand close, she took a few steps away. Her racing mind suddenly stopped, centering on one thing. Everything else she'd been worrying over fell away.
What if he regrets his actions and wants to keep me away?
Anna swallowed against the tears and shuffled slowly back to her chambers, careful to keep her footsteps quiet.
Now that she discovered he had locked his door, she didn't want him to know that she was awake as well.
It would be best for both of them if she pretended that she'd never tried to reach out to him.
Once she returned to her own room, she closed and locked her door.
The crackle of the fire was a welcome distraction, but she could still hear the sound of her husband walking around just a wall away.
As she crossed the flooring, she did her best to ignore the pit in her stomach that only seemed to get heavier with each click of his boots against the stone.
"There's no reason for me to be so upset," she whispered to herself, settling beneath the covers. "Perhaps we simply moved too fast."
But even saying it out loud didn't convince her uncertain heart.
Ach, I need to get to me healer. I cannae work when me head is poundin' like this.
After spending half of the night pacing a hole into the bare stones of his chambers, Hugh managed to sleep for nearly three hours.
It wasn't close to enough, but he didn't have the luxury of lying in bed all day.
Besides, he knew that this hiding wasn't befitting of a man of his position.
Even having the desire to do so felt incorrect.
Still, guilt ate at him as he prepared himself to face his daily duties. When he'd invited Anna for dinner yesterday afternoon, he'd intended for it to be just that. It was his job to ensure that she integrated smoothly into the castle and felt confident in her role as Lady McDonald.
He had analyzed each part of his behavior late into the night, and even now, he couldn't stop. Telling Anna that she was beautiful, he knew that he needed to do so. But pushing things further, using his mouth on her when it was obvious that she was completely untouched…
Cold realization washed over him. Anna likely wasn't ready for what he'd done. It wasn't as if she was in love with him. His actions may have scared her. If his goal was to keep her comfortable, he'd failed by behaving this way.
What he wanted most, what ate at him as he laced his boots, was to see her once more. Knowing that she wasn't upset felt as if it were more important than any of his other responsibilities. The fact that his presence was likely the last thing she needed ached like a bruise.
Before he could push the thought completely away, someone knocked at his door. Then, as he was preparing himself to tell whoever it was to leave him be, his mother's voice cut through the heavy wood.
"Hugh, what're ye doin' in there?" she asked, knocking several more times. "Ye're goin' to miss breakfast if ye daenae get up."
He sighed, opening the door and staring down at her. "I'm nae feelin' well, Maither. I just needed some extra time this mornin'."
Eilidh's eyes narrowed as she pushed her way into his room. He allowed it, accepting that his mother would do as she pleased with him and his siblings. The door swung closed with a final thud that signaled she could say what she wanted to say or make whatever observations she deemed necessary.
"I daenae think you're ill," she said, walking in a circle around him as if looking for signs of disease. "Ye seem tired, but ye're nae holdin' yerself as if ye're sick."
"Perhaps I have just become better at hidin' me discomfort," he said, intending to brush her off.
"Nay," she said as she stepped in closer. "What's got yer mind so mixed up? Is it somethin' with Anna?"
"Maither—"
"Ye ken I didnae believe what ye said about the letter, daenae ye?" she continued, not letting him speak. "The lass looked as if she was goin' to run away from me when I asked. It wasnae until ye spoke that she calmed down."
"Ach, well, she didnae want anyone to ken," Hugh sighed, running a hand through his hair. "That letter was nae supposed to reach me."
"But it was addressed to Laird McDonald, was it nae?"
"It was," said Hugh. "She wrote the letter because she wanted people to stop teasin' her. The late Laird McDonald was her false betrothed. She was goin' to 'fake' his death. But then I showed up and married her anyway."
Eilidh was quiet for a moment before laughing and shaking her head.
"Anna's a good lass," she mused. "Funny plan she had.
I'm nae sure I understand why she needed to do it.
Perhaps I'm just nae familiar with the way things work down south.
" Then, she murmured, "I like her, though.
She's kind. But ye ken that I wish ye would have married for love. "
"I like her well enough," Hugh grunted, refusing to reveal more. "More than I'd like anyone the council set me up with."
"Ach, I daenae understand them either!"
His mouth twitched as he suppressed a smile. "I think she'll be happier here than she would be in England. I can already tell she's fittin' in better here."
"I've only kent her for a day, but she does seem quite happy," Eilidh agreed. "Ye would think she'd need some time to adjust, but she's quite excited."
"The flowers," Hugh pointed out. "She's lookin' forward to seein' all the flowers. It's greener here than England."
"Aye, she seems like the kind of sweet lass that would like the gardens," she agreed. Then, in a softer voice, she murmured, "I bet she didnae have a good time in England because good people always get taken advantage of. We'll need to look after her, make sure that she's taken care of."
"Aye," he agreed, though the words struck him in a way that made his jaw clench.
Is that nae what I did? I married the lass for her dowry, went down south just to do that, nae to get to ken her or get real answers about the letter.
Eilidh cupped his cheek, massaging away the tension he was holding. She muttered, "Ye're thinkin' so hard I can see yer thoughts."
"Well, keep yer observations to yerself," Hugh said, grabbing her wrist and removing it.
He stepped away, heading toward the door to leave. When he opened it, Marcus immediately slipped in. With a growl, Hugh said, "What the hell are ye doin'? Why are we meetin' in me chambers?"
"Ye've been hidin' in here all mornin'," Marcus replied, throwing himself into a chair next to the fireplace. "If we were goin' to speak to ye, this was the place that we needed to do it."
"Then what is it that ye need?" Hugh sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I was tryin' to go about me day."
"I saw yer new wife," Marcus said as he held his hands out to warm them with the fire. "She was walkin' around the castle lookin' lost."
"Where was she tryin' to go?" Eilidh asked, turning her attention to her youngest son.
"I cannae tell ye," he said dismissively. "I'm nae a servant, nor am I her husband. It's nae me job to lead her around and give her tours. If she needed that, she should have come to Hugh."
"Marcus," Eilidh said, sounding even more offended than Hugh felt. "What do ye mean ye didnae help her?"
"It's nae like she asked for me help," Marcus said, raising an eyebrow as he looked impassively between Eilidh and Hugh. "Why would I go out of me way?"
"She's yer family now," Eilidh cried, throwing her hands in the air. "Ye cannae treat her like an outsider."
"She is an outsider," Marcus challenged.
Hugh felt as if he were seeing a brand-new side of his brother. He'd never known the man to be so vengeful, yet here he was, glowering at Hugh and their mother for insinuating that Anna was part of their family. Suddenly, what Callum said became more realistic.
Is Marcus truly vyin' for Lairdship?
"Why would ye say that?" Hugh said, keeping his tone measured. "I married her. It means she's nae an outsider any longer."
"Ach, funny that ye get to marry whoever ye please," Marcus practically spat. "Even if she's from England, she's welcomed into the family. But I cannae follow me own heart."
"Marcus," Eilidh said, stepping over to him and kneeling in front of his seat. "Ye must ken that we had our reasons for nae approvin' of Helena. I want ye to marry for love. Ye must understand that."
Marcus's face was a mask of indifference, though Hugh could see the flicker of emotion in his eyes. Marcus muttered, "Aye, but I am still unhappy. And angry." He looked at Hugh for a beat. "I willnae hide me displeasure."
"Fine," Hugh growled. "But that's an issue ye have with me, nae Anna. Ye sound just as bad as me council."
The accusation seemed to make Marcus sit up a little straighter. It was obvious he was biting his tongue. Regardless of his own thoughts, being compared to those men was still unacceptable to him.
"What I need," Hugh continued, rubbing his hand against his jaw, "is to convince me council that Anna's a good lass."
"There's nae much of a chance of that," Marcus said. "We can try our best to convince them, but I daenae think their minds will be changed. Callum's especially."
"Aye, ye're right," Hugh said. "But I still need ye to try."
"I didnae say I wouldnae, did I?" Marcus challenged. "I may be unhappy with me own circumstances, but I willnae stoop to their level."
"Thank ye," Hugh replied, glancing at Eilidh, who nodded her agreement.
"But I do want nieces and nephews," Marcus added. "If ye're goin' to be married, the least ye can do is give me that."
"Ye're insufferable, Marcus," Eilidh said. "And ye ken ye daenae need to take out yer frustrations on yer brother."
Marcus stood then, seeming to ignore their mother's words. With a nod, he said, "I'll be on me way. I just wanted to make sure ye were alive, Hugh." Then, he fled, leaving the conversation feeling unfinished.
"It seems he's still upset with us about Helena," Eilidh said, setting her hand against Hugh's arm and squeezing once. "I'll go speak to him. Ye should eat."
Hugh watched her as she left, shaking his head. For a moment, he'd seriously thought that Callum had been telling the truth about Marcus's actions when he was away. That display… It didn't feel like the reaction of a laird.
Or he's become good at pretendin'.