Chapter 17
17
DAISY
E ven a text from Benny can make me smile. The promise of seeing him later, of talking to him makes me glow and feel hopeful. My life is expanding, opening up after years of being curled up and afraid.
Everything changed for me when I had Liam. Not just the fact I moved across the country and cut off nearly everyone from my life before. My body was different, my thoughts was different, and my priorities were sure as hell transformed. Nothing was as important as my child, and nothing will ever will be.
That being said, my entire life was Liam and work. There was no time for socializing, friends, or dating. I refused to bring a strange man into my son’s life. I was mistrustful and didn’t like the idea of guys going in and out of his home and his life. It was simpler that way, and I could mollify my anxiety about his safety by essentially controlling every aspect of his environment and giving him my undivided attention.
Still, that part of me that longs for a partner and confidante and lover has been comatose for a long time. When Benny kissed me, I came alive again. Under his touch I’m a woman and brought back to life. It feels like I can access a part of myself that was missing for a long time. Not only my libido—although that’s crazy by itself—but the person I was once, the way shyness warred with my inner daredevil, how much I liked live music and dancing, taking pictures, making Benny laugh.
When a client cancels one day, I message him and ask if I can drop by his office. He says yes without hesitation
He comes to the lobby to meet me, walks me to the elevator. We spend ninety seconds in heaven in the soundproof steel box with his hand up my skirt and his mouth on my neck. Then he leads me to his office and tells his secretary to hold his calls.
I feel like a mistress in an old movie, naughty and a little sordid in the most delicious possible way. I lean into the idea, ask him if he’s feeling adventurous.
“Are you up for a little role play, Mr. Falconari?” I purr, stroking his dark blue tie and glancing up at him through my lashes.
“I’m up for anything you want,” he says. “Show me.”
I giggle, a little shy at first, but I get into it, playful and filthy at the same time.
“Let’s say I’m here for an interview,” I say, trailing my fingers across his lips. I perch on the edge of his desk and cross my legs. “What would you ask me to do?”
“In an interview? I’d ask about your experience,” he says.
“This would be my first office job, sir, but I do hope I can please you,” I say. He huffs a laugh, either at my cheesy Southern accent or the silliness of the scene I’m playing.
“What did you do at your last job that pleased your employer?” he says.
I lean forward a little and whisper, “I swallowed.”
He shifts in his chair like he’s uncomfortable, maybe like his expensive designer trousers are suddenly too tight. I grin, self-satisfied.
“Would you like me to demonstrate?” I ask.
“Yes, but there is one other test you have to pass first. If you don’t mind,” he says, curling his finger for me to come closer. I’m already wet for him; already glad I wore a skirt today. I’m biting my lips, eager, as I lean toward him.
“What’s the test?” I ask, breathless.
“I have something for you. I want to see if you can take it, but you have to be quiet,” he whispers, and it’s rough, like electricity licking up my spine. I shiver when he sets his hands on my thighs and pushes my skirt up.
“Come over here,” he instructs me. “Now take off your panties. That’s a good girl.”
When he calls me a good girl, for some reason I damn near faint. I step out of my panties and put them in his hand obediently. He breathes them in, gives a low growl, slips them in his pocket. He lifts me to sit on the edge of his desk before him, then he takes my bare foot in his hand and rubs his thumb over the arch. It feels so good where he presses in. I moan a little and he stops.
“Now, Miss Cooper, you have to be quiet or I can’t continue. It’s very important that you follow my instructions to the letter. Not a sound,” he says seriously. I nod, already wondering how I’ll manage to keep quiet. He hasn’t even touched anything compromising and it’s all I can do not to shout his name.
I try to stay in character, a prim secretarial candidate, but the mixture of horniness and silliness leaves me giggling.
He sits in his desk chair and scoots forward, spreading my legs wide. He leans forward and without hesitation dives right in, his tongue licking a strip up my center. I lean back on my elbows, and it takes everything in me not to cry out.
Benny is relentless as he eats my pussy like a starving man. When he slides two fingers into my soaking channel and suckles hard on my swollen clit, I come apart immediately, gushing onto his hand and face. I stuff my fist in my mouth to keep from waking the damn dead as pleasure ripples through me.
As I come down from my high, Benny leans back and wipes his mouth, a wicked grin on his face. “Well, Miss Cooper, I do believe you’re hired.”
M y mom’s progress is incredible the next few weeks. Even her physical therapist thinks so. She’s made major strides and walks with her cane most of the time, only using the walker when she’s tired.
“It’s because my daughter makes me do all the exercises even when I don’t want to,” she says, but it’s a humble brag and we both know it.
“Whatever you’re doing, keep it up. You’re going to be a graduate soon,” the therapist says.
Mom doesn’t say so out loud, but Liam is her motivation. She was determined to be able to take him outside to play in the yard and not have to wrestle the walker. After a couple of weeks of intensive practice, she managed it, and now she and Liam are outside practically all the time. She likes watching him, and she’s the one who offered to keep him a few nights so I can ‘reconnect with old friends. I think she knows what’s up with Benny and me, but she’s not asking questions. She’ll wait until I’m ready to talk about it, which is a change from when I was nineteen, and she grilled me about birth control and staying out too late.
I take Mom and Liam to the movies and out for burgers. It’s a fun night, and I’m grateful to be able to do it. I also miss Benny like crazy. On impulse, I message him after Liam’s asleep and ask if he’d like to pick me up for dinner tomorrow. I’m lying awake at night starting to wonder if I’m ready to tell the truth. To let Benny know Liam, and to let Liam know his thoughtful, loyal, protective father. I know it might cost me Benny for good, but they both deserve to know one another.
He says he’ll pick me up at six. I talk to my mom about it and she rolls her eyes like she wasn’t supposed to notice what I was up to all along. She’ll watch Liam, overnight if I want her to. I hug her.
“What are you doing, Daisy?” she asks, not unkindly. “You know this could very well blow up in your face?”
I nod. “Maybe it’s supposed to. I know what it might cost me, believe me. I just need a few more days, maybe a week. Something nice to remember in case he hates me for the rest of my life, I guess.”
“You’re putting off the inevitable.”
“I’m working on what I’ll say to him,” I say, knowing it sounds stupid.
“Just remember that Liam is the priority,” she says dubiously.
“He always has been, Mom. That’s how I got here in the first damn place.”
As I’m leaving work the next evening, Sasha calls after me.
“See you in half an hour, right?”
“What?”
“Kindergarten open house? It’s at five-thirty. We talked about it last week when the emails went out.”
“Shit,” I say, clap my hand over my mouth. “I’ve got to go get Liam from my mom. I’ll see you there.” I double check the email and see that it’s today, not next week like I put in my calendar. I screwed up the date and now I’ve got to hurry.
At the house, I call out to the backyard for Liam to come change clothes and brush his teeth.
“Why?” he whines, coming to the kitchen door.
“We’ve got to go meet your teacher and see what your class looks like.”
“Now?”
“Guess so, buddy. I had my days mixed up. We gotta hurry.”
I convince Mom to go with us. We pull into the parking lot right at five-thirty, and it’s crowded. A woman greets us, and I get the registration paperwork, the list of supplies. We sit at tiny chairs in the library while I fill out pages of information and Liam plays on my phone.
At last, I finish up and we get directions to his classroom. Sasha’s blowing up my phone by this time asking where we are.
“I’m just slow with paperwork,” I mutter into the phone, “We’re coming.”
“They’re in the same class!” she crows, “We’re hanging around waiting for you to get here.”
We get to the classroom, and Liam runs to Sasha and her son immediately. I settle my mom in a chair and wait to talk to his teacher. The room is cute, everything labeled in colorful cubbies.
“I’m Carla Sanchez,” the teacher says to me. “This must be Liam,” she nods toward my son who’s playing with Sasha’s little boy at a sand table.
“Yes, this is my Liam,” I say, pride evident in my voice.
“I looked over Liam’s records from his PreK in Seattle. He’s a smart little guy. We’re going to have a fun year.”
“Thank you. I’ll get the stuff on this list, and we’ll be ready.”
“Sounds great. Here’s the information sheet on our schedule, and it has my contact info on it. Just let me know if you have any questions.”
“Thanks,” I say to her.
My mom’s chatting to some woman she knows, so Sasha and I take the boys to the bounce house in the play area. By the time I manage to drag a tired, sweaty Liam away from that it’s eight o’clock. When we get home, it hits me all at once. I forgot to call Benny and cancel. I was so frantic to get to the school on time that I didn’t remember to tell him something came up. I look at my phone and see alerts for texts and a voicemail. I feel awful.
When Liam’s asleep I read the texts and message him. Something came up. I’m so sorry. I’ll make it up to you ” He doesn’t respond for a while, and when he does it’s not good. My stomach plummets and I feel sick.
Forget it, he replies.
Meet me for breakfast, let me explain? I ask. Again, I wait half an hour before he messages back an ‘ok’.
I try and think about what to tell him that isn’t, ‘I had kindergarten open house for the son you don’t know you have.’
Shit, this is getting more and more complicated, and I can’t keep this secret much longer.